I saw the "blood moon" yesterday.  I usually don't go to sleep till 3AM so it was not much of an effort for me.  It was not as impressive as the word sounds.  LOL.  Earth, moon, sun and the stars really do float in space.  Mind bogglingly vast, mostly empty, but expanding space.  There is no infinite turtles holding up the earth on its back.  :-)  There is so much to learn.

I bought couple of great Italian suits back in my 20's, and luckily, they still fit.  I wore them today.

I am a Dom, so I always had particular interest in power dynamics.  Since the world is full of strangers, we are what we present ourselves to be.  There is a lot of power in good fitting suit.  Couple a great suit with confident walk/body posture, and throw in a touch of self-deprecating humor, and people (mostly women, ha!) treat you differently.  Many times, I want to blend in, so I wear my normal cloth, but when I want to stand out, I wear my suits.

All of you young'uns out there, buy a good suit.  Its one of the best investment you can make.

A Texan slave with broken English with a fake photo is stuck in Nigeria, and needs help so she can relocate to the States to serve.

LOL.  I laughed so hard, my tummy hurts.  They are not even trying.

Despite of the terrible week that I was having (Not to mention the Crimea crisis and the missing Malaysian airplane), I just learned about the BICEP collaboration, and their discovery of the gravitational wave at the fraction of second after the Big Bang.  How cool is that?

My nerd sense is tingling.  hehehe.  This is first proof (maybe) that gravity is a quantum phenomenon, and tells us something about the Big Bang.  Mmmmmmmmm... Sweet.  For bunch of hairless monkeys, we are pretty smart.

Go hairless monkeys, go!

Singing...  I fought the state, and the state won.  I fought the state and the state won...  (in the tune of 'I fought the Law' by the Clash).

My accountant didn't file some documents and the California state is coming after me to pay up.  I don't owe anything, but until I file the papers, they think I owe a lot so they locked up my bank account.  Arrrggghhhhhhh!!!  I spent last two days on the phone trying to fix this.  How frustrating.  I hope I live just long enough for my last check to bounce.  And I hope that last check is to IRS.  :-P

When I was a young lad going to college, I had an older friend.  She asked me one time to describe my ideal woman.  I did, and she asked, "if you met her today, what makes you think she'll want you"?  That bruised my Dom ego, but I couldn't argue her logic.  She was correct.

I have always lacked emotional balance.  I am too hot, and too cold, and I can do that several times a day.  Passion and cruelty.  Odd combination.  It makes for an exciting dramatic relationship when young, but it is not a quality of a great leader.  It took me a while to manage it.  I can't help feel what I feel (and I still do feel it), but I am managing it better. 

• Knock, knock.  
• Who is there.  
• Moo.  
• Moo who?  
• Make up your mind.  Are you a cow or an owl?

Business is going well.  My life is quite exciting in a nerdy kind of way.  :-)

Life of an Entrepreneur is surprisingly boring.  Idea is easy.  There are plenty of people with great idea.  Execution is what separate the boys from men.  Making the right decision, day by day, and executing it is a daily grind.  I have learn to enjoy it, but it is not something you can write a book about.  In the life of an Entrepreneur, there are big moments which you can write a chapter about.  Unfortunately, those big moments are few and far in between.

I have come to such a big moment.  My project has taken off, and through my partners connection, we have gathers money and talents (way above my pay grade) into our group.  The stake has been raised tremendously, and pressure is on for me to deliver my part.  Fortunately, I enjoy the pressure (Dom trait?), so I am having a great time.

Let's not get ahead too much.  Things can and do fall apart at any time for any reason.  Still, I do appreciate reaching a rare moment which I can write home about.  :-)

Happy 2014, everyone.  Spankings for everybody!!  :-)

This holidays have been crazy.  I started 3 new projects simultaneously.  For some odd reason, I always get super busy doing the holidays.  I wish I can say I'm making more money, but because of increased expense, it evens out.  LOL.  Finally, I have made enough progress in each of the project, so I can relax a bit, oh yeah.

What is my new years resolution?  Why would I wait until new years to better myself?  If I want to improve in something, than I start now.

I saw this video of this 21 year old guy who gets no girls.  The reason is because he had no games, the video explained.  It was an advertisement about picking up woman.

Language reveals a lot about people and culture.  He had "no game".  Reality is that he has no substance.  I have seen a photo of group of geeky guys with hot girls.  Surprisingly, those geeks were first year Medical students at Stanford.  OK, not so surprising.  Instead of getting a better game, be better.  

I have been traveling for 2 weeks, and I'm back home now.  I miss my little house.  I especially missed my electric tooth brush.  I forgot to take it with me, and spending $150.00 for temporary use seems a bit excessive.  So I used manual tooth brush for 2 weeks.  This experience has only increased my hatred for manual tooth brush.  Am I the only one who feels this way?  Keep brushing and brushing, up and down, round and round, to the left and than to the right...  Arrrrggghhhhhhhh!!!  Anyway, I'm home, and I'm back to my electric tooth brush.  Yes!  Life is good again.

We are the only creature smart enough to know that we are going to die one day.  Without transcended values, people consists in ascribing infinite value to the trivial and temporal.  The last sentence was Kirkegarrd.  I doubt I can come up with something that elegant and cool.  1/3 of American is drinking tonight.  Most, if not all, are watching TV, roaming the Internet, working late hours to make more money.  We occupy our time to enhance our social status (self esteem), and avoiding our inherent fear of death. We numb ourselves from that very basic fear.

We need to face it so we can move forward.  Joseph Campbell or Ernest Becker.. They both speak of having a transcended value, which I'm struggling to adopt.  As an atheist, and somewhat selfish person, I find it difficult to rationalize a transcended value, and adopt it.  Another visit to the nudie bar?  LOL.

I feel like an Humpty Dumpty lately.  I took apart my motorcycle to do some simple work, and I can't put it back together.  How embarrassing?  I'm missing pieces.  Dang, I need to be a bit more organized.  I'm getting older, and I can't remember complex details as easily as I used to.  I need to write things down.  How pedestrian.  LOL.  :-)

I'm sure I'll figure it out.

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. - Winne the Pooh.  :-)

I got a visitor number #15 today. I hated it. I'm a bit odd like that, but I wanted a prime number. Why couldn't I get 11, 13 or 17? Darn.

There is a lot of theories about charm. I will share what works for me. Being at the moment, and appreciate that moment. I am glad to be there no matter where I am. And when I meet someone, I am genuinely glad to meet that person, and I am fascinated by him/her.

I'm more sales oriented these days, so this subject is close to my heart. All of you young subbies or Doms, gve it a try. See if that increases your charm portion.

I read this entry and it made me laugh.

How does a sub nicely tell a Dom she doesn't find him physically attractive?

A. I don't want to come off like a bitch.

B. I dont want to hurt his feelings.

C. I don't want to seem shallow.

Is CM full of moussy Doms? :-) Any Dom or man worth his salt has been rejected. It is part of the game. Why would I get offended because a sub/girl doesn't find me attractive? I rather know early so I don't waste my time.  "Next!" 

First lesson we should learn in this life is this: You can learn anything. It is amazing how many people, with all their years of schooling, have not learn this first and foremost lesson.

What is more surprising is that sometimes, even I forget.

I saw this great profile, and I was really impressed. She listed the qualities that she was looking for in her Dom for a healthy relationship instead of writing about her sexual needs. Healthy relationship is not a oxymoron in D/s relationship.

Hot kinky sex is not hard. Its like a Rubics Cube. It isn't easy but you can figure it out with some practice. You listen to your subbie. Listen to what she says, and what she doesn't say. With time and patience, you'll learn her darkest secrets and desires. With that knowledge, you craft scenarios that fulfills the both of your needs. It is really about listening and experimentation.

The subbie herself is more like "Unified Field Theory". Our best minds have made some progress, but nobody has figured it out. Women are complex, but subbies have added level of complexity.

We should all strive for better understanding, and healthy relationship (no matter how you define it), because the sex is easy part.

I totally blew a presentation last week. There is this whole theory of communication that I know, and I totally blanked. You are supposed to describe your company in 10 words or less, and than use the group of 3, story telling, problem solving to sell your company. I forgot everything I have learned, and I tried to shoot from the hip.

I was overconfident, and I didn't prepare enough. My overconfidence bites me in my ass time and time again. I spent 20 minutes explaining what my company does. Good grief.  That was an incredibly bad presentation. I rate myself D- on presentation. Knowing in your head and knowing in your heart are two different thing.

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt,

This my philosophy in a nutshell.  Always go for the glorious victory, and learn to deal with defeat because alternative is even worse. I rather fail than not try.  I rather crash rather than not ride. I rather get chocked out rather than not get in the ring.  Do not live your life with quiet desperation. If you must, live with loud desperation. Live, and be heard.  You have eternity to be dead. Unless you are a Buddhist or Hindu, of course.  :-)

This is what I do every morning as soon as I get up. I raise my arms in a victory position (body), and think of the best moments of my life (mind). I do this for 2 minutes, but that is all you need. This will increase my testosterone (confidence) and decrease my cortisole (stress). Scientifically proven. Yes. This sets my mood for the day, and I am able to start my day at peak condition.

I am a flawed creature. In order for me to progress, I need to recognize my weaknesses and improve them. I have always strived to become better, but I was not always honest with myself. As a Dom, I have too much pride to admit my faults, and it took me a while to manage that.

I am usually generous and magnanimous, but I can also be petty and vindictive. It depends on my mood, but it is negative side effect of my passionate nature. My problem is that sometimes it gets out of hand. My need to win, sometimes, overrides my sense of fairness and kindness. I also find forgiveness difficult to give or receive. I would give forgiveness or ask for forgiveness, sometimes, but honestly it really doesn't matter to me. What is done is done, so what good is forgiveness but a misplaced emotion? That is a bad attitude, I know.

I am working to become more compassionate, disciplined and stronger person. Compassion must flow in all direction, to myself and others. That is proving to be much more difficult than I would have imagined.

I did read about a mind boggling article about an experiment that suggests Quantum Entanglement across time. That makes sense since distance is also time, but it never occurred to me. It was just brilliant.

Grit.  I am putting a team together for a project for a friend, and I have talked to a lot of people recently.  What is surprising to me is how bitter so many people are of their past failures, and how suspicious they are of new ventures.  If all you learn from your past mistakes are bitterness and fear, you have gained less than nothing.  Are people so weak that they lose their spirit after one or two defeat?

As a Dom, I never doubted myself like that.  I morn, I reflect and I keep moving.  Believe me, I do not enjoy failure, but I also know failure is part of game.  I grew up very poor, and even when I had nothing, I was never that bitter or that doubtful.  Today is one of those days when I am glad I am the way I am despite of all my faults.

I am happy.  I have learned "how to learn".  I figured out what works for me in terms of learning, and that is paying great dividends.  Also, I have worked out a schedule of meditation which is making huge difference in my efficiency and focus.  I feel that I'm finally learning to work smarter, not harder.  At any rate, I feel good. 

My business is making progress so that also makes me happy.  Yeah.  Go me, go!  It is good to be me...  Most of times.

I tried manual tooth brush today.  First time in a long time.  I did't like it.  I much prefer my electric tooth brush.  It doesn't take much effort to get used to creature comfort.  LOL.

I read an article about Galileo and John Dee.  Of course, we all know who Galileo was, as he is the founder of modern science.  John Dee was a scientist and occurtist.  He had enormous knowledge of his days and he had great following including Galileo.  John Dee is an example of someone who knew so much, and was so wrong about so many things.  He was extremely book smart but he lacked fundamental insight into the universe.  You have to prioritize information as some information is more valuable than others.  How do you know which information is valuable and which one isn't?

Visiting family and friends, relaxing and working a bit.  I like to call it my long working vacation.  I do miss my motorcycle, and the nudie bar.  LOL.

Following Buddhist and Hindu tradition, I try to maintain certain amount of detachment from the world.  Still, it is difficult to be totally detached from family especially the young ones.  Although I do not have my own children, I am a devoted uncle.  I know it is not the same, but I can't bear the thought of losing my babies.  Such strong attachment has its own peril.  Buddah named his new son "Ball and Chain" as the joy of his child binded him to this world.  What is worse than losing the little ones?  I wonder if Buddha made the right choice.

Ahhhh..  Two things that I wish for...

1.  If I can only get this level of adrenaline rush without actually putting myself in such danger..

2.  If I can only get that satisfaction of achievement without the actual hard work of achieving it.

I think my life will be a lot easier and a lot less busy.

I can't believe it.  I crashed my motorcycle again.  This was a mild one as I wasn't going that fast, but I can't believe I crashed it again.  2 crashes in 6 month.  That is a new record for me.  I love the adrenaline rush of high speed, but this is a bit too much.  I rode rest of the day to shake off the shock and fear, and that seems to have worked.  It was a beautiful day.  Life is good.  

I always liked feisty woman.  This single quirk of my personality has gotten me into more trouble than I care to remember, but it certainly has been fun.  Feisty does not mean controlling or domineering.  Also, just because a woman is a subbie does not mean she is docile or weak.  I guess, I like to be entertained.  Don't we all?  :-)

Life is not a question to be answered but a process to be experienced.  Bene Gesserit saying...

OK, a geek moment, but this is very close to my philosophy of life.

Your life in minutes.  Daily activities that adds or subtracts years to your life.  One of the smartest article I have ever read.

 +30 minutes.  One alcoholic beverage.  -15 minutes for every drink after the first.

+30 minutes.  Drink 2-3 cups of coffee.

+1 hour.  The first 20 minutes of cardio.

+30 minutes.  Next 40 minutes of cardio.

+2 Hours.  Eat 5 or more servings of fruits and veggie.

-30 minutes for every 2 hours of TV.

-30 minutes for one portion of red meat.

-2 hours for being male.

-5 hours for smoking one pack of cigarette.

So there it is.  Your life, the simple and easy way.

1.  Quit smoking.

2.  Eat more fruits and veggie.

3.  Exercise 20-30 minutes a day 6X a week.

I don't care.  Even if it takes -2 hours every day, I'm not going to quit being a male.  

I went riding few days ago.  I hit a wet spot under a shade and almost crashed my bike.  I lost my confidence right then, and I rode safely for the rest of the day.  HaHaha.  As much as I love the winter weather, I hate the winter road.  You know, wet and dirty sounds like fun, but not on a motorcycle.  It gets quite dangerous.

As far as business goes, I have been cooking on a new idea.  It is important not to try to take on too much.  It is important to cut your loses and move on from projects that are failing and concentrate on projects that are working.  As a Dom, I get over confident, and I think I can do it all.  One of my weakness which I have to watch out for.

Interesting fact.  An C Biroi ants colony will stometimes execute its own members.  With this speci, all ants lay eggs and at the same time.  After that, they all forage for food to feed the young ones.  They will execute any member who kept laying eggs after the egg laying period is over.  Kind of like immune system killing cancer cells (cells that keep reproducing and won't die).  Pretty nifty.

Hilary Hahn's performance of "Mendelssohn Violin Concerto" in E minor, Op. 64.  For days now, I am moved to tears every time she starts playing.  Her intonation and phrasing are so perfect and so pure, it moves me every time. As a manly man, I don't cry much. Really. But this young lady has knocked my socks off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO_aRIXXXpE&feature=share&list=FLnfzUa2pOgIYYUPeQ2icaOg

This year started with a disappointment.  We were working towards a big contract and it fell through.  I really thought we would get this deal, but it fell apart at the last minute.  C'est La Vie.  I guess.  Time to roll with the punches and move on to next project.  A bit of a bloody nose, but I'll live, I'm sure.  Blah.

The weather has been nice, so I am back on my motorcycle.  I noticed that I am not riding as hard as I used to.  I guess I'm still a bit shaken up by my last crash.  It takes time to get your confidence back.  I better enjoy my ride before the weather turns cold again.

I'm back to classical music again.  I forgot how much I loved classical music, especially the Violin Concertos.  Brahm, Tchaikovsky and Mendelsohn are my favorites.  What I would give to play violin like Julia Fischer or Sayaka Shoji...  The sound of violin is so unique and beautiful to me.  You can see their fingers flying all over the string and this beautiful music comes out.  Playing violin at that level requires a lifetime of dedication and prodigious talent, but still, to be able to play like that...  I would almost sell my soul for ability like that.  

For those of you who have not noticed, the world did not end at Dec 12, 2012.  Interestingly, even the Mayans didn't believe the world will end at that date.  Still I did go to a nudie bar with a friend and spent some money.  We figured we we didn't want to die with all those dollar bills in our pocket.  

A little better photo of me dragging my knee.  I love this moment.  I feel I am one with my machine.  I am riding her, not the other way around.  I understand her, her quirks, and her needs.  I command her and guide her from that understanding.  Her power and speed are at my command as I lean into a tight turn.  I lean her quickly yet gently without wasted movement, and I ride with focus and confidence.  I can feel my knees hit the ground, and I hear my knee puck scratching the asphalt.  The world disappears.  It is just me, her and the road.  Living on that knife's edge as one mistake at this moment will not be pretty.  The speed, danger, and the thrill...  I love it.  I can feel my adrenaline pumping.  I am calm and high all at the same time.  Oh yeah.  Life is good.

I laughed so hard.  LOL.

There is this supposed subbie with huge boobs who is studying to be a lawyer.  She wants potential Doms to buy her stuff before she considers any one of them seriously.  Yes, she has her own wish list on Amazon.  LOL.

I doubt she would know the doctrine of "res ipsa loquitur" even if it hits her in her face.  I doubt she is even a she, much less the girl in the picture.  I do enjoy the wacky attempt to part money from fools on this site.  If you are a Dom and you fall for stupidity like this...  All I can say is...  Don't have children.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
if you poison us, do we not die?
and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

I don't know why, but I have always loved this line.  It rolls off my tongue so nicely, especially the last part.  Shall we not revenge?

I suffered from depression (bi-polar tendencies) since I was a young lad. I have managed to control it through exercise and meditation, but, once in a while, it gets the best of me. Right now, I am almost overwhelmed by emptiness of life. 

I wish I was smarter, more braver, more of everything.  Have I lived enough, loved enough, achieved enough to go to that last good night?  And than the most lingering thought of them all...  Is anything worth achieving?  Isn't everything transitory, so what is worth doing?  All my life, I lived by my own rules, but let's face it.  I was really stupid, and stubborn.  I'm probably stupid now, but I haven't realized it.  I look back at my youth and realized I was so wrong about so many things.  What would I have done differently?

I am angry and frustrated about everything and nothing.  I remember this feeling so well.  Aghhh..  The angst of my youth.  It hurts.  Yes.  I probably need a good nights sleep, and ride my motorcycle hard tomorrow. And some vanilla sex.  Well, its better than nothing.   It is nice to talk so freely with anonymity.   LOL.

As a Dom, I find this thought to be the most difficult.  In order to create real meaningful connection with people, you have to be vulnerable. Our brain is hardwire for this, and this is our genetic purpose in life; reproduction and meaningful relationships.  The true power of vulnerability is that it allows people to connect at a deeper level.

My relationships have been mostly superficial. Even when I got married, I didn't feel that deep connection.  I was always loved, but I find it hard to love.  Even here with anonymity, I find it hard to share my weaknesses, hard to be vulnerable.  Something to think about.

These are the 5 most expressed regrets of the dying.

1. I wish I hasn't worked so hard.
2. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
3. I wish I had let myself be more happier.
4. I wish I had courage to express my true self.
5. I wish I lived a life true to myself instead of what others expected of me.

Live your life, and enjoy your life, little ones.  Forgive yourself, and love others even if you are a bit sadistic (like me) or masochistic.

“Most people live lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with their song still in them.”

Mind affects the body, and the body affects the mind.  Apologies to the great Descartes, but mind and body are not separate.  If you forced yourself to smile, you will feel happier.  If you imagine scary situation, your body will react with "fight or flight" response.  Your body do not know that you are just imagining a fear, and your mind do not know your body is just acting happy.  It is odd but true.  Here is a life changing application of this human quirk.

Think of a job interview, first date, investor meeting  or anything that stresses you.  When you are confident, you are more natural, more animated and you will do better.  How do you become more confident?  By increasing testosterone (more self assured, more positive, more powerful) and decreasing cortisone (less stressed).  

To do this little magic trick, just assume the dominant pose (for example, hands stretched out in victory position, or doing the wonder-woman pose) for 2 minutes, and testosterone will increase 20% and cortisone will decrease by 25%.  This is research from Harvard, so you know this is good stuff.  Prime your mind by priming your body.  Thank me later.

What is real?  Plato's shadow in the cave. Renee Descarte's "I think, therefore I am".   Immanuel Kant's subjective reality being the only reality.  Ann Rand's Objectivism.  The greatest minds of history have pondered it.  They have made a lot of progress, but we are no closer to an answer than ever before.  Bishop Berkeley will say everything in the universe is idea, and nothing is real.  Physicist would say everything in the universe is information.  Now, some scientists are trying to devise experiments to figure out if we live in a simulation.  Yes.  Matrix.  Some think that in a distant future, when we become an very advanced civilization, our descendants will be curious about us (their ancestors), so they create this giant simulation to learn about us.  God might be a computer programmer, a geek.  

Samuel Johnson listened carefully to Bishop Berkeley's argument that matters do not exist and universe is just ideal.  When it was his turn to speak, Johnson kicked a big rock, and said "I refute it thus".  That cracks me up.  Sometimes, I wish I was more like Johnson.

I think I'll learn how to play a guitar.  Yes.  I think I'll like that.  Also, I got new parts for my motorcycle, so I should be back at the canyons within a week or two.  Go me, go!

I just had In-N-Out burger with French fries and diet coke.  Oh my lord, that was awesome.  I allow myself to eat junk food meal once a week, and this week was burger and fries.  It is so bad for me, yet it taste so good.  Mmmmmmmm...

In my younger days I used to eat like this all the time.  I also smoked and drank.  Sometimes I miss my youth.  LOL.

I have a love and hate relationship with exercise.  I hate exercise, but I love the effect of the exercise.  It makes me feel better, both physically and mentally.  It even helps me manage my depression by keeping me happy.  Despite of all the benefits of working out, I still hate to exercise.  It took me years to build my current workout habit.  Frankly, I am still lazy about workout and I do the minimum.  Self-discipline in all areas in life is much more difficult than I imagined.  We all have areas where we lack discipline whether it is studying, organizing, spending or exercising.

As a Dom, I have to discipline myself.  For a subbie, it might be more difficult because a subbie is learning their master's discipline.

What a screw up.  I am having problem with one of my sub-contractors.  I should have fired his butt months ago, but the project was so close that I thought he would be able to limp across the finish line.  2 months later, it is no further than it was before, and I'm looking stupid to my clients.  Arrrggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!

I want to squish him, but I have to maintain my professional demeanor which is frustrating at best.  I gave him his last warning, so I'm firing his butt.  This is going to be a big mess.

100 trillion years.  About this time, the last of the red dwarfs (small stars) will burn out and the universe will grow dark forever.  The accelerated expansion of the universe means there will only be a single galaxy as far as we can see.  Can you really imagine 100 trillion years?  That is mind-boggling amount of time.

I rode my motorcycle only few times since the crash.  My impulse is to go back and ride hard the very next day, but I know better than that.  I learned to reflect on my mistakes, and burn the lesson into my brain.  I need some time to cool down, otherwise I'll make the same mistake again.  I wonder how other people deal with mistakes, and what are their ritual for dealing with them.  

Business-wise, I'm waiting for few things to happen.  Things are slow right now.  I have few things brewing but they are not here, yet.  So I am spending my time sharping up my technical/marketing skills, and catching up on Netflix.  Hehehe.

I have to shake my head at some of the oddities that goes on this site.  It only goes to show you that, unfortunately the common sense is not so common.

Financial domination?  Really?  Do you really want a Dom/Domme that are so incompetent that they can't earn their own money?  Do you really want to serve someone so weak and powerless?  Doms/Dommes do not have to be rich, but they should have enough resourcefulness and pride not to take a handout, and live within their means.

I have no problem with prostitution.  What 2 people do behind closed door is fine as long as it is consensual.  But the term "financial domination" really rubs me the wrong way.  Aren't we (Doms) suppose to be the one that are together?  Arent' we suppose to be the leader?  How can you lead if you are so dependent on your subbie?  Call it for what it is so nobody gets confused.  Blah.  Enough with my public service lecture.  

What a terrible day.

First, my credit card gets stolen, and I had to go to the bank to clear up fraud charges.  And than I had to go to the police station and file a stolen credit card report.  I decided to go for a ride because I wanted to cheer myself up.  The weather was beautiful.  On the way there, my water drops out of my motorcycle so I had nothing to drink once I got there.  And than I get stung by a bee on my neck.  Ouch.  And to top it all off, I crashed my motorcycle.  My bike is dinged up pretty bad, but I'm fine.  Thanks to my super-hero leather outfit, I was able to walk away without a scratch.

It was my fault.  I stayed there for too long and I got tired.  My body position was sloppy, and I flicked my bike too hard on a turn.  I should have headed home an hour or two earlier, but I wanted to get extra ride in.  Next time I am having a bad day, I'll just stay home.

"A growing body of research, including new studies

by Berkeley's Juliana Breines and Serena Chen, suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key to unlocking your true potential for greatness."

This is from an HBR article  (Harvard Business Review).  They tend to focus on business and success, and a great resource for both.  It takes a lot of courage to be self-compassionate.  You have to look at your fault and your mistakes honestly which is the beginning of self-compassion.  As a Dom, we have too much ego and confidence.  We naturally lash out at our mistakes(weaknesses) or ignore them, or both.  We must find the right balance to grow.

New photo.  Yes.  I am getting better, I must admit.  My body position could improve a bit, but it isn't half bad.

Are we man?  No, we are manly man!  

About the Muslim world... 

"Hatred of America is a form of self-hatred, the fruit of frustration and despair in the Muslim world at their relative decline. And not only in the Muslim world. Anti-Americanism will always be with us so long as people need a bogeyman on which to hang the evils of the world. " 

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/09/14/andrew-coyne-early-days-to-be-pointing-fingers-at-obama-and-america/ 

This is not to say that America has done no evil in this world.  We have done some terrible things, and we have done some great things.  Still, I thought this was an interesting article, and quite insightful.

A young man died few weeks ago because he low sided to an on-coming SUV.  How tragic.  He was a good rider, but accidents happen.  Motorcycle is dangerous and even with every precaution (which I do take), you can still get seriously injured or killed.  So why do I do it?  Why do I ride motorcycle? 

There are the usual answers, of course.  The speed, adrenaline, power and control.  Chicks dig it.  And let's not forget the cool super-hero leather outfit.  Those are all true.  Additionally for me, I ride because it gives me a moment of clarity.  When I'm carving up the canyon, I focus only on that singular moment.  No worries about business, bills, global warming or anything else.  My mind stops.  My thoughts, my senses, every fiber of me is focused on now, on this singular moment and on this singular task.  And when I get it just right, I feel transcended.  It is brief and fleeting moment, but it is also eternal.  Risk is part of life.  If it wasn't dangerous, I probably wouldn't have that moment of clarity.  I am a flawed creature, that is for sure. 

I saw a profile of a subbie who didn't want to date Doms who rode motorcycle because she thought those Doms loved motorcycle more than people.  This is an interesting thought.  You know, I call my motorcycle "she".  And she is my subbie, and I love her, yes.  I am anthropomorphizing her, but I remember that she is still a thing, and not a person.  I cannot see how she can be more important than a living person.  Remember Immanuel Kant?  If you saw your favorite pet and a stranger drowning in lake, who would you save?  For me, I would always save the person because no matter how much I love a pet or a thing, they are not as important as a person.  Also, if the situation is reversed, I would want that person to feel the same way and save me.  Moral philosophy of Immaneul Kant is a good guide.

My partners are in sales and marketing while I focus more on technology and operation.  I do have to say one thing about sales people.  They are a friendly bunch and I like them, but they are way to optimistic.  I take whatever they say with a grain of salt.  OK, more like a bucket full of salt.    It does get a bit frustrating dealing with them after a while.

It'll be full moon in few days.  I think I'll go for a full moon ride.  I love rinding my bike during full moon.  It is cool and I can see the road.  I think I'll go to Hollywood and hang out for a while. I haven't been to Hollywood in a long time.

Last 2 times I went to the canyon, I almost died both times.  I wonder why I love it so much.  Is it despite the danger, or is it because of it?  Ernest Becker would say such heroic (or stupidity) is my way to differentiate myself, transcend ordinary and achieve symbolic immortality.  Only a fool would analyze himself.  I am such a fool, sometimes.  LOL.  

I'm a knee dragger now.  Its an odd feeling.  I wanted to drag my knees on a motorcycle for a long time, but I never could.  I have been studying professional racing techniques, and that has really enhanced my ability to ride.  As my martial arts teachers have always told me, "proper technique will beat strength" and that is so true.  So why did it take me so long to seek proper technique?

Oh yeah, that's right.  I'm a Dom and I have a ego size of a ...  I think that is one of our (Doms) greatest weakness.  Having too much ego and self confidence have its own pitfalls.  I am trying to learn humility but it is not easy...  especially if you are as wonderful as me.  LOL.  You see what I mean?  

I did something stupid today.  It has cooled down a bit today after a month of intense heat so I took few hours off, and went to ride the canyon.  I was at Latigo canyon and I blew a line.  I was riding hard, and the road was very bumpy.  It caught me by surprise, and I hit the brake which stands the bike up, and I ended up on the other side of the road.  I panicked.  Such a rookie move.  I am not one of those "no fear" kind of a Dom.  My survivor instinct kicked in, and I made a dumb move.  Darn it.  Yes, I do say "Darn it" in real life.

At any rate, my business has slowed down a bit.  It is moving forward, but it is moving at a slower pace.  Despite of things slowing down, I still have too much to do.  How does that work?  

I just saw the video "Twist of the wrist II" video.  It is a "How-to" for getting the most out of your sports-bike.  In other words, how to ride really fast.  I have been riding for a long time, but it is only recently that I have gotten interest in riding hard.  It amazes me how much knowledge and techniques there are for something that looks as simple as motorcycle riding.

I went for a late night ride.  I have been cooked inside all day and I needed to blow off some steam, and the summer nights are perfect for riding.  I forget how beautiful this city is at night.  The streets are empty and quiet and most of the ugliness is hidden in the darkness.  All I see is the lights.

Hot, hot and then hot some more.  Who says Global warming is just a myth?  Too hot to even ride my motorcycle.  It is harder for me to withstand the exremes of the weather as I get older.  I stay cool in my car with AC cranking.  I used to ride all the time, but than again, I used to live by the beach.  

Mars Rover Curiosity landed successfully.  Woohooo!!  Go JPL, go!

One of they way to teach computer is to let it self-learn much like children do.  Create a neural pathway (like a brain), and let it repeat until it learns how to do a particular task.  An interesting and productive approach.  The scientists created virtual simple creature and they made it compete for food cubes.  Only the ones who got the food cube got to reproduce and pass their genes to next generation.  They also added random mutation so the critters can evolve.  Within few thousand generations, they learn how to attack each other to keep the others from taking their food cube.

The computers are getting smarter exponentially.  Of course there are limits to how smart they can get due to quantum effect, but it is a good bet that they will become much smarter than us.  Asimov's 3 laws of Robotics is antiquated and inadequate, but I always believed that we can teach the Robot to love us.  The artificial intelligence will be like a subbie in their mentality towards humans.  I'm not sure if this is possible or even likely.  This  approach to AI is something I have not considered about the coming singularity.

I was reading an News Analysis article, and this just popped into my mind.  Are we good by nature, and we only turn to violence if there is no other choice?  Are we predisposed to be civilized?  Or are we violent by nature?  There were centuries of continuous and open warfare during the Chinese civil wars, and Europe after the fall of Roman Empire.

Perhaps, this is where micro view does not explain properly.  It is not the individual, but the nature of organization itself that explains this better.  There is social evolution and human societies are evolving towards more efficient and effective format.  All the industrialized societies share similarities, not because we love education, individual rights, free press (freer press, read Noam Chomsky), democracy and capitalism/socialism, but because they are more efficient and effective.  If monarchy, dictatorship, communism, or religious caliphate were more effective, they will dominate the world.  In this sense, if unrestrained warfare was more effective, again, I believe that will dominate the world.

Anyway, my bike is in the shop.  Yes, I miss it. 

I had a vivid dream when I was a young lad.  In my dream, I was riding my motorcycle and I saw this awesome lake.  In those days, when I had a day off, I would just pick a road and ride until the road ended.  I discovered a lot of neat things about the city that way.  There aren't many lakes in Los Angeles,  but that dream seemed so real that I never forgot it.  At any rate, I went to Balboa Lake for the first time today.  And it reminded me of my dream so many years ago.  I doubt this was the same lake as my dream, but it was close.  I don't believe in premonition, but who knows.

As they say...  I don't believe in the Devil, but that doesn't mean the Devil doesn't believe in me.  

Gnosis.  Arcanum or secret truth beind all major religion only taught to the most dedicated devotee.  A universal religion which where all other world's major religion derived from.  Well, let's just say it was a bit of a disappointment.  I was expecting a bit more of a revelation.

Somebody took a picture of me riding my motorcycle making a tight turn.  I look good in leather.  Imagine that.  LOL.  Go me, go!

Yes, I know.  I'll break my neck, one of these days.  

Business wise, things are going quite well.  It seems like success (my own definition of financial and professional success) is within my reach.  We have been moving forward and some of the new developments are huge.

Of course, having something within reach and actually reaching it are two different things.  I am pretty calm, considering.  Well, I have had enough experience to know that these things can, and do, often fall apart at any time for any reason.  Maybe that is why it doesn't seem real.  Time will tell.  Well, at least my life is interesting.  LOL.

One more thing.  I know its few days old, but CERN found a 5 sigma certainty of higgs boson.  Well, I hope its higgs boson.  Time will tell.  Go CERN, go!!!

Well, I rode the famous "Snake" at Muholland today on my motorcycle.  I'm learning proper body positioning on my motorcycle and my turns are getting tighter which is good.  It is a bit scary, but it is also exhilarating.

I was in my full motorcycle leather.  Motorcycle is one of those rare times where a guy can wear a full leather in public and not get laughed at.  :-P  I must say I look pretty darn good with my motorcycle leather.  I was getting a lot of the "looks" from the ladies today.  I guess it gives me that "wild" look that some ladies prefer.  Does the cloth makes a man (or a woman)?  I don't think so, but I noticed that it does give you a boost.

Yes. I am feeling great. Considerable amount of adrenaline pumping through my vein right now. I love this calm but euphoric feeling. A lightness of being, if you will. 

This is odd.  I had such a great day, but I'm feeling down right now.  Emptiness of life.  Existential angst, I guess.  My life is going great, but sometimes (very seldom), I feel so empty.  I am not sure what I am looking for or suppose to do, sometimes.  It is a good thing that I am not immortal because if I was, I would kill myself.  LOL.  Life being brief makes it precious and worth living.  Nothing last forever, not even the earth or the sun.  Everything is transitory that makes all the moments of your life precious, but also futile.  Nothing lasts.  Not goodness, not love, not life, so so what is the point?  There is no purpose to life other than to experience life.  There is no purpose to life other than the one your give yourself.

These are hard questions, and the answer should be hard.  We must constantly seek to find truth within ourselves.  Still, finding your own answer lacks the moral certainty that comes with religion/authority/God.  Sometimes, I wish I can believe.  I mean really believe.  

It has been a while since I went for a motorcycle ride.  It is an exhilarating sports.  I have not ridden those canyons in a while, so I took it slow.  It takes a lot of skills to negotiate those tight turns at high speed, and one missed turn means falling off those cliffs.  LOL.  Motorcycle and Jujitsu are probably last few remaining domain of men.  Are we man?  No, we are manly man.  LOL.

It was a fun filled day.  And it is beautiful out there.

I do not like to work out, but I hate not working out.  I have always suffered from depression, and exercise keeps me even.  If I don't exercise for few days, I start to get a bit depressed.  I stopped working out for a week because i needed a break, and I was feeling blue for last few days.  I feel so much better now.  LOL.  I wish I was one of those people who loves working out.  Grrrrrr...  Still, I am a Dom.  If I can't discipline myself, how can I discipline anyone else?

Angst of youth.  Sometimes, it returns.  I can feel it and I don't know why I feel it.  I was such a angry young lad.  Not sure what I was angry about.  Poverty?  Harsh reality of life?  Existential angst?  Who knows.  I have grown out of it, but it still lingers.  It can be argued that we are sum of our experiences, and we can't escape ourselves.  As with most thing in life, it is good and bad.

Ivy league education for free on the net. ?www.udacity.com

For all you Doms and subbies who wants to get ahead... ?I always believed that all educational materials should be availble on-line. ?Finally, it is happening.

I just read an interesting article that states that "talking about yourself makes you feel better."  I guess this phenomenon is doubly true with doms.  I must admit that it does feel good to journal here every now and than.  

I am not a control freak.  I am a control enthusiast.  :-)

You know, I love Jujitsu, especially the Gracie Jujitsu.  It is one of the most effective martial art out there.  Of course, I'm not going to get into any fight soon at my age.  Still, in the back of my mind, even though my stand-up is decent, if someone tackled me and took me to the ground, I would have difficulties.  With Jujitsu, I'm much more confident about rolling on the ground, but I do have one complaint about it.

I'll admit it.  Jujitsu looks a bit gay.  Full guard?  Rear naked choke?  That's a bit intimate position for two straight men to be in.  Nothing wrong with being gay, and I have nothing against differing sexual orientations, but it is a bit too much for me, sometimes.  Maybe I should go back to my Tai-Chi classes.  Except for the push hand exercise, there is very little touching.  

I believe I reached my limit with work.  I could really go for a motorcycle ride through the canyon but the weather is cold.  When I was a young lad, I would ride no matter the weather, but now...  LOL.  I'm not sure if I am getting smarter or just older.  

Busy, busy, busy and than busy some more.  These projects never end.  Projects, one after another.. They keep coming. I am happy that I'm getting so many projects, but I sure wish I can get a break before I break.  Hahaha.  What do you call those people who laughs at their own joke?  

Yes.  Being busy makes me happy.  I hired few people, and most of them are working out pretty good.  Yeah me.  Go me, go!  

I get low energy and a bit down during the dark winter days.  SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder is not that uncommon.  There is a new product that improves the mood 9 out of 10 people who uses it.  You basically shine lights into the ear.  Yes.  You heard me.  Light in your ear.  Facts are stranger than fiction.

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-03-ears-alleviate-sad-symptoms.html

I feel much better now.  Still coughing, but I feel much better.  What a disaster that was.  I hate to admit it, but when I get sick, I'm definitely 'Take me now, Lord' type of a guy.  LOL.  Nothing is more important than good health.

I am sick as a dog.  Such a funny expression.   Sick as a dog.  hehehe.  Cellar door.  hmmmmmmmmm.

I don't bounce back as fast as I used to.  I guess that is part of getting older.  I don't have to tell you that it really sucks being sick.  Not many things are more important than good health.

I had a massive craving for a Whopper, Fries and Sprite.  That was so good.  When I'm sick, my discipline goes out the window.

I am sick.  Good grief, I hate being sick.  I rarely get sick, but when I do, I get whiny.  LOL.  Hopefully, I'll fee better in a day or two.  I don't mind inflictig a bit of pain, but I hate pain for myself.  hehehe.  Nyquil and good night.

I am suing someone due to breach of contract.  It is interesting how I'm handling this.  My offer to settle was exactly same as the original contract and that is pretty strange.  Because my offer is so basic, I didn't give myself a room to maneuver.  I didn't give him an opportunity to "win" at something, and any negotiator knows you have to give him something, even if it is imaginary, to settle.  It is basic negotiation strategy to ask more, and settle for a bit less, and give them a psychological "win".

I think its my Dom nature.  My feather is ruffled up so I'm going for jugular.  I know I have a very strong case.  I rather crush him in court, and have that black mark on his company history instead of settling.  Logically, a bird in hand is better than 2 in the bush, so I'm not being 100% logical.

It is not enough that you win.  Others must lose.  :-P.   It is not easy being a Dom, sometimes.

Can anyone be over-educated in these days?  I read and read just to keep up, but new information keeps piling up.  There is so much to know, and there is no end in sight.  If I could be change one thing about myself...  I would wish that I was smarter.  Well, that or not having allergies.  Wow, that is a tough choice.

I had a morning meeting in Malibu this morning.  I took my motorcycle because of the traffic, of course.  ;-)  On the way back, I decided to take few hours off and ride through the canyon.  It was a bit cool, but beautiful and sunny day for a ride.  And the Malibu canyons are beautiful.

This is what I really enjoy.  The freedom to do what I want, and do the things I love every day.  Running a small business is tough at times, but I do have a pretty good life.  :-D

As a Dom, I find it very hard to ask for advice.  I have too much confidence in my abilities, and I don't ask for help.  I know better now thanks to some painful experiences.  Ouch.  :-P  I know expert helps are worth paying for, but I still have to remind myself to get it.  Do due diligence, and get advice at the beginning of each new project instead of rushing in.

It is not easy being a Dom, sometimes.

I hate working out.  Grrr..  There must be a better way, but I can't think of any.  How to get the benefits of working out without actually working out..  There is a billion dollar idea in there somewhere, but I can't figure it out.  :)

Should a Dom whip himself to get "cracking" on his workout?  LOL.

 “Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Words to live by.  Stay positive.  Patience, persistence and guts; they all start from being positive.  Worthy character traits for any Dom, in my opinion.

I get into these situation sometimes.

In business term, it is called "cash flow" problem.  I have invoiced customers, and I have money coming, but I don't have them yet.  Its like all my customers conspired to delay my payment.  Paranoid much?  LOL.  I have some money in reserve (not much) to pull me through these situations, but it is irritating.

I have studied probability and I know these kind of streaks are not uncommon.  Still, it makes me feel a bit uneasy.

I wonder if Hitler or Bin Laden thought they were evil.

I am worried about the European currency crisis.  Darn Greece.  Darn Germany.  This can result in a world wide depression, not just a recession.

I just landed a decent project for my business.  Now, how in the world am I going to do it?

My mind is all over the place, lately.  I think I'll go to nudie bar.  Yes.  That's a good place to stop thinking, and just enjoy being alive.  :-)

I saw a body laying on the middle of the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) in Malibu last night.  I was riding to fast to stop as usual, but there was a car stopped (with an emergency light on) and a body laying in front it.  He looked like a dropped manikin.  His limbs were placed at odd angle.  I swing back to see if I can help but the ambulance was there by than.

Remember to use the crosswalk.  It is a bit of extra walk (in his case, about 100 yard), but it is worth it.  Besides, we can all use the extra walk.

www.khanacademy.com

Try this site.  Thank me later.  This is not a Star Trek site (Wraith of Kahn).  But since Wraith of Kahn was mentioned...   Kahn!!!

I have back pain.  Ouch.  Ouch.  Darn this getting old stuff.  I never had back pain before.  I can't even workout because my back hurts.  How inconvenient.  I'm not sure if I like this model.  I wonder if I could get an upgrade.  Can I get a pain-free version, please?

I don't mind giving a bit of pain, but I certainly don't like pain.  :-)

I love control, but I don't consider myself being a control freak. I do not like to micro-manage in my business life, or in my personal life.
I am not a control freak. I'm more of a control enthusiast. :-)

Conscious and subconscious fear of death permeates our lives. We try to reconcile our fear through symbolic immortality, ie, institutions, nations or religions. In this model of thinking...
 First, we develop a faith into a world view through institution, nation or religion. Second, through mechanism of culture, we develop and become a contributing member of that world view, and acquire self esteem.
The trouble happens when we are reminded of death or when our world view is challenged. Different ethnicity, religion, nations, gangs, sport teams and so on. It is common for us to react violently to re-assert our world view. It is human nature. Our greatest evil deeds spring up from our desire to destroy what we consider evil.
Ernest Becker.

I went for a what I call "full-moon canyon run".  The canyons at night on the motorcycle is a bit tricky because the motorcycle leans as it turns.  This means the headlight doesn't work on turns.  In the summer night like this when the moon is bright, the moon light is enough to see the road.  It is a bit hair raising, but it is also exhilarating.  It makes me want to sing the "manly man" song.  LOL.

"Unexamined life is not worth living."  Plato said that, and who am I to argue with Plato?  Being a Dom, a part of me thinks, "you can do it.  you are smart."  Still, I learned a bit of humility over the years.  :-)  Being a Dom, sometimes, we have more ego than sense.

Unfortunately for me, I have not had much time to ponder on my life, my thoughts, or my actions lately.  Business has taken so much of my time, that I am caught in a busy current of life.  If I'm not careful, I will be swept away and I'll end up wasting my life doing what is expected of me instead of what I want.  I am exhausted.  I need a more balanced life.  I need to ride my motorcycle more, and hang out with my friends more, and date more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYF8cUlbs3I&feature=BFa&list=FLnfzUa2pOgIYYUPeQ2icaOg&lf=mh_lolz

Now, that is a beautiful song.  Awesome, in fact.  Who among us doesn't want someone to "follow into the dark"?  Am I a person worthy of following into the dark?  well, that's the trick, isn't it?  :-)

Things are going well.  I'm quite busy with my business, and that is a good thing.  Last few years have been tough, but it seems to be getting better.  Go me, go!

On the side note, I have been getting into Dr. Noam Chomsky.  I have been meaning to learn more about his ideas, and I finally jumped in.  He is a very brilliant man.  I don't agree with everything he says, but I do agree with many of his observations.

 It is amazing that once you see or understand something, you wonder, "how did I miss it in the first place"?  It is so obvious once you see it.

 Anyway, it is hot as heck around here.  Darn global warming...

My business has certain taken few unexpected turns, lately.  It is quite exciting, but a bit exhausting.  I guess I can't complain as this is the life that I have chosen.  What am I saying?  Of course, I can always complain.  

I am enjoying the wild ride.  I should write a book when this is over.  "How to swim with sharks and not get bitten." or maybe it'll be "How I got my ass bitten off by the sharks". It is too early to tell.