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"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here." ~Milton
Perusing, I am a former poly Dom in Salem looking to meet others in the lifestyle. Not looking for hookups, or even a love interest. If it happens, then I am blessed, just wanting to meet intelligent articulate people who live as I do and understand the true balance of life. Wanting to exchange ideas, passions, literature, poetry and philosophy. Looking for someone who appreciates the deep gothic nature of the BDSM lifestyle and all it entails. I am a dark and brooding man at times, a true scorpio.
I have burned many bridges in My lifetime, in avoiding who and what I truly am, I have told lies and hurt people. I now embrace Myself, My truths and seek to live as I was meant to be. If you are curious, passionate and have a love of learning and exploring, please feel free to contact Me.
~M
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My theory as to the balance of BDSM
Firstly, Dom or sub, you cannot expect your partner to make you whole, to complete you, only you can do that for yourself. How we as Doms and subs interact with each other however, can have a great bearing on how well our partners are able to realise their own true potential.
As a Dominant, you must firts look inward, be introspective and understand your own insecurities, weaknesses, hungers, needs and wants etc. The better you understand yourself and your own issues, the more able you will be to control yourself and present your submissive with the best you that you're able to acheive. Once you have an understanding of yourself, you need to delve into your submissive and get to know their weaknesses fears et. al. So that you can create an environment within wich they can walk their own path, realise their own potential as an individual and offer back to you, the best "Them" that they can.
Within the intricate balance of power and trust you will both grow into yourself, achieve your own goals and become truly whole and confident individuals that when together, create a new whole that is greater that it's sum parts.
In the end sub or Dom.. it's about being the best YOU that you can, without the influence of others to cloud what you truly are. Only when you offer yourself, as you, whole and unadulterated, will you truly find a mate that fits you well. |
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Cruel
I came to you in secret
To share a hearts desire
Your heart a rough hewn jewel
Burned pure within my fire
Against our chains we push undaunted
It was cruel to make you fall in love, but cruelty's what you wanted. |
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She kneels before me, head down, lithe nude body arranged in a demure submissive array of silken skin and tender flesh. I run my hand through her hair, brushing it aside to see her angels face. Her eyes remain down, such a good girl, I lift her chin and her eyes tentatively meet mine, passive and waiting. "Arms in the air my sweet angel" My voice is calm and assertive, there is no fear in me that she might disobey, my will is done, always.She raises her slender arms above her head and I grasp her wrists, clasping them together and twining silk rope through and around them. I tug her to her feet and pull her towards the rough textured stone wall.I slip a soft velvet blindfold over her head and bind her arms up above her head to a solid eye bolt sunk into the stone. With a hand at the back of her neck I push her into the wall, her nipples scraping against the rough cold unyielding stone, she gasps softly at the sudden chill abrasion. I grind myself against her bare ass, forcing her into the wall, parting her sleek legs with my knee I slide one strong hand slowly down her back to cup and caress one bare perfect cheek of her ass. Squeezing, I let it go and slap the leathery palm of my hand onto it hard and fast, rubbing after to sink the burn into the meat beneath the skin. She gasps slightly and begins to purr deep in her throat.
I reach for a toy, something to stimulate and arouse, my hand wanders across my array of implements restlessly, wanting something new for this one, something intense and unforgettable. A cold hard smile slinks across my face as my fingers come upon the tens unit and violet wand. Two very exquisite toys, to prepare her for the ensuing torment I warm some lubricant and spread it over my middle finger, nuzzling my finger slowly between the soft round cheeks of her ass I work it deeply into her and begin to rotate it in slow lazy circles, loosening her up, relaxing muscles that are meant to always be clenched and clamped tight. Once her soft moans reach the right timber I gently slip the tens probe into her pretty little ass and gently begin to flog her back and ass with a soft suede flogger, arousing her nerve endings and giving her pale soft skin a warm pink sheen, her skin the perfect shade, her nerves awake and desperate for sensual input I turn her and rub her now awake and yearning skin against the cold rough stone, her entire body shudders from the sensation, I grasp her between the legs and turn her attention back to me. I lean close and kiss her, letting my now engorged and throbbing cock rub against her inner thigh as promise of what she'll soon receive. I let my mouth wander from her lips down her cheek to the side of her neck, nibbling, sucking and biting there, I could linger a lifetime beneath her ear tasting her soft flesh as it yields to my lusting lips and tongue, my mouth wanders lower onto her breast, kissing a warm wet circle around her pale sweet aureola and taking the tender rose bud of her nipple into my mouth, pinching it with my lips and flailing at it with my tongue. I let my mouth wander across her chest and repeat the process there, feeling her arch her back into my face, longing to feel her touch against my scalp, to feel her pull me to her, acheing at her bondage and revelling in the yearning within me for more of her than I allow myself to have.
With her nipples swollen erect and wanting I roughly pull each one taught, twisting as I place tiny vibrating clamps on each one. A deep moan passes her full lucious lips and is music to my ears. I watch as the violet wand comes to life and glows deep lavender, I touch it to myself a time or two to be sure of the output and slowly I graze each of her inner thighs with it, she squeals and tries to withdraw only to drag her still pink fresh back against the cold stone wall. Up her abdomen I trail the wand, watching the static arc from the glass rod into her flesh over and over, hearing her gasp and whimper, up to her nipples and around each, her head whips from side to side as she bites back screams. Now that she's aware and yearning, afraid and lusting all at once I turn the tens unit on, set for a deep rythmic cycle. I watch her body tense as the first wave of spasms rolls through her, deep within her pelvis, muscles contracting and releasing in involuntary orgasm, a bellow tears itself from her delicate throat, an animal noise, full of anger, rage, lust and satisfaction. I place the wand between us and slide myself into her, waiting for the shock to tear into me as I make contact with the glass rod and press it securely between us, just as I rock my hips against her the tens sends another spasm through her and she grips my cock like a vice. Electricity courses through us both and it's hard for me to keep my rhythm, but I do, our bodies come together in a caucophony of lust and passion, grinding against one another, beyond the pain feeling only the deep deep pleasure being delivered.She orgasms again and again and finally I release myself into her, with shaking hands and weak legs I remove the wand and we both sigh at the relief. I turn the tens off and gently remove the clamps from her nipples.
My mouth seeks to soothe her as it softly works it's way from her knees to her mouth, kissing and caressing her flesh, I whisper into her ear "Clean me when I release you" she nods mutely as I unbind her arms and untie the silk knots around her wrists, slipping the blindfold up and over her head, her clear sweet eyes blink at the light and seek me out, I smiled at her and caress her face tenderly as she sinks to her knees and takes my dripping flaccid cock into her mouth, sucking at me gently, licking me clean. Without allowing myself to indulge too long in the perfection of her mouth upon me I pull her to her feet and sweep her into my arms. I carry her spent body to a waiting warm bath and soothe away the cold memory of the stone with gentle tender ministrations of warm water and lavender soap.
I wash and brush out her long molten hair and pull her from her bath to wrap her in a robe and carry her to bed, to slumber against me, safe within my arms, our souls bound. |
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Her pale skin smooth and silken, my fingertips whisper across is causing her to shiver with quiet pleasure. The lines and curves of her body cause me to want to explore every soft dip and swell that compose this work of art. She lies before me, eyes soft and patient, a wanton smile dancing deep within them just beyond easy sight, a hint of her passion, her need.
My fingers seek her core, pink and moist and swollen, my skin dances torturously over hers, flicking and teasing, feathersoft against her most sensitive skin, grazing the tip of it with my fingernail, watching her writhe in ecstacy at my touch. Her moans becomming louder and more wanton, she reaches out and takes me in her hand, rough and hungry, pulling at me, coaxing and demanding. I am aroused again, how many times is this? I forget, does it matter? I am a blaze, raging and insatiable, she feeds off of my searing hunger and her needy passion is endless fuel to stoke me again and again. I could make love like this to her forever, endlessly seeking to merge our bodies and souls.
I move closer and let her slide her mouth onto me, she moans against my shaft sending soft subtle vibrations throughout my body, her tongue seeks to provide me tactile pleasures as she works the entire length of me into her mouth slowly, her eyes locked hungrily onto mine, all pretense aside now, she wants me inside of her, thrusting myself towards our mutual release.
I roughly pull her head off of me and push her onto her back, her back arches defiantly and she pushes at me, she loves this dance, this feigned resistance to spark my strength, I force her down, my thick arms pressing her to the floor easily, she is as aroused by my strength as she is by my touch and passion. I force her knees apart and slide myself into her, she clamps herself onto me like some warm wet fist and we begin to move our bodies in unison, two animals dancing lifes most primal steps. I lean myself low atop of her, thrusting in and up, nearly lifting her with each thrust. Her eyes lock onto mine, her depths are open and free, her soul spirals out and dances with mine to the rythm of our pleasure. She wraps her slender arms around my shoulders, her nails dig into my skin and I let my lips caress hers softly in a minute moment of tenderness amidst the jarring impacts of our love making. Release crashes into us like some endless wave of pleasure, each new ripple flooding our bodies with sensory overload, we're left in a heap of sweat, juice and flesh, intertwined and spent.
I roll onto my back and she finds her spot against me. My arm around her protectively, her head against my chest. We whisper and giggle, I run my fingers through her hair and she runs her fingers across my skin.
We revel in each other, so right. |
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So yeah. From my earliest moments, I've known pain, loss, abuse, fear and sorrow. The very basic building blocks of my ability to trust, give and accept love and have open and honest relationships was broken from the beginning. Some of my loss is just fate or cruelty, shit happens, or bad people doing bad things, other things I have lost was because of my own arrogance, ignorance and selfishness. There are some things I've learned from all of this. To forgive, you can't live with rage and anger, and the only way to release it is to forgive those you feel it for. To think before I act, my knee jerks so hard I get cramps sometimes, and I have to think things through before I let myself act. To not dwell on the negative, that just leads to wanting to cry yourself to sleep and eat yourself to death. To try to have a positive outlook on life, as positve as you can. Be realisting, but also be optimistic. To love myself, to be ok with who I am. You cannot receive love from another if you don't love yourself, nor can you give love to another if you have none for yourself.
In the end, all you have is yourself to truly resolve your own problems, sure friends will help here and there where they can, but you need to be worthy of those sorts of friends in the first place. You need to always be able to pick yourself up by the bootstraps, stand yourself up and get back into the game. Giving up is not an option, moping around wallowing for long periods of time isn't an option. Put the pain and loss to use, learn from it, grow stronger from it, grow wise from it, but never let it break you.
Be strong, be positive.. be worthy.
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I lead you slowly towards the bed, guiding you carefully onto the silk sheets. The soft velvet blindfold engulfing your world in black. I position you on your hands and knees, your skin bare and cool in the night air, the only things you have on are a leather harness and the blind fold. You hear me moving about as my hand grazes the skin on your back, leaving a hot ghost of sensation there. I attach your harness to restraints and slowly slide my hand from the back of your neck to your ass ending with a deep full slap of each bare pale cheek, leaving them pink and gleaming. You strain to hear as I move around, making noises arranging my toys for the eveving. I've instructed you to be silent save for moans and whimpers and so you dare not ask what I plan. So suddenly you let out a small gasp you feel my hands cupping your breasts, teasing your nipples till they are hard and swollen, and then with no notice you feel the icey cold bite of clamps being affixed to each nipple. Your arms buckle a little but the restraints hold you in place. You can hear chain jingling and there is a weight suddenly hanging from your nipples, before you can wonder at it I am between your legs,parting your thighs and playfully twirling my fingertip around your clit, and just as the pleasure begins to sweep you away, the cold bite of a clamp shocks you back to where you are as it sinks into the delicate flesh of your clit. The chain attached to your nipples gets tugged and you can tell I am also attaching it to your clit. There is a deep sensation creeping into your clit and nipples a slow soft vibration that's flowing up the chains connecting them, the vibration begins to slowly easy the discomfort of the clamps and your pleasure sensors are waking up and clamporing for more, suddenly your body twitches a deep pulse of electricity danced through the chain and into you, making you want to write in exctasy, it dissapates and quickly as it appeared. My hand tangles in your hair and pulls your head back, you feel my mouth near your ear and my tongue slowly dances across your ear lobe "Do you enjoy that mine?" I whisper coldly, you nod gently in reply, "Good, the pulse will happen every 20 seconds or so and the vibration will be constant, I am so glad you approve mine" I chuckle as I release your head. You can feel me on the bed again, at your feet, both my hands grasp your ass, the heat of my hands sending warmth through you as my strong hands begin to massage your buttocks, squeezing and spreading them wide, I slowly work a thumb into your ass, twirling it in widening circles, relaxing you and warming you up. You feel warm lubricant drop onto you and the small head of an anal bead being pushed slowly into you, then another and another, 6 in all get pushed slowly into you, each gradually larger than the one before it, then the entire chain of beads begins to vibrate deep and hard within you. Between seering bouts of electricity and the deep vibrations of the beads you feel an orgasm buidling hard and fast as you sense me leave the bed and suddenly my weight is before you, warm and close, you feel my fingers on your chin, cupping your mouth and the head of my cock nuzzles into your lips, parting them, you quickly open your mouth to let me in, pressing your tongue up to stroke the underside as I have shown you enjoy. I slowly begin to rock myself in and out of your mouth, letting you play with the head on the out stroke, then back in deep and slow. Once I get a good rythm going I begin to gently lay a soft kangaroo skin flogger across your back, waking up your nerve endings, softly, gently, barely raising a soft pink glow, just arousing your skin. With a deep spasm your first orgasm crashes into you, your body goes limp and hangs in the harness, you have to concentrate to not bite down on me as wave after wave crashes into you, in the middle of this intense orgasm the electricity slides through your system setting off another more intense orgasm deep in your core. I whisper my pleasure at your reaction and watch you writhe throug 4 more such orgams before I slide myself wet from your mouth and move to claim you wholly. Without waiting I kneel behind you and drive my full length into you, a deep moan flies from your lips as my hands clamp onto your hips and I begin to piston my cock into you over and over. Your orgasms sweep you away into a dream where all sensation is pleasure, with one final thrust and an animals bellow, I yank the beads from your ass and send into a new series of orgasmic convulsions as I release my own hot need into you, your body clamps onto me and sucks me dry of my lust. With gentle care I quickly remove all the clamps and the blindfold and lay you in my lap, stroking your hair and kissing your forehead, your body is sore and spent and you drift to sleep in my comforting arms. |
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A broken thing am I
Battered before I was ever whole
Love shines into my darkness
I run farther into the blackness
I cannot be loved
I will not give love
Keep it away
Force it away
Hurt it away
Afraid to be me
Afraid to be real
Always running faster
Afraid just to feel
Can I be healed
Can I be whole
Will always I wander
Seeking my soul
Alone when I die
Will I look back and cry
At all the love I ran from
At all the ill I have done
Just to keep my heart whole
Just to keep myself safe
There's safety in the darkness
An old and trusted friend
The light holds all the pain
And I never want to know it again
A broken thing am I
Battered before I was ever whole...
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No religion, God, Goddess, Philosophy or Cult can guarantee its followers happiness, prosperity, well-being or peace. To do such a thing would throw the world into such imbalance as to create chaos and havoc as nature sought to right the scales.
The divine gives us only one true guarantee; and it rests upon us to make use of it.
If we strive for our goals, work hard, with honor, honesty and integrity. If we care for our own needs, nurture the needs of our goals, we will be given the opportunity to survive and perhaps succeed. We are given no more than this, the opportunity; the outcome is a matter of our own personal investment, the clarity of our vision and a good portion of sheer chance.
This covenant is displayed in the world around us everyday, in every seed we see and every child we care for.
You find the seed you want, you prepare its starting pot with care and well mixed compost and soil, you plant it, water it, keep it warm and it will sprout, you must then nurture and care for it, toil and work to keep it healthy and alive, and in time, with great care and effort it will return to you the investment you put into it. Be it in the form of shade, medicine, food or beauty. Our children offer us the same opportunity, though the effort is much greater, but then, so are the stakes.
In the end, the divine offers us nothing other than the opportunity to do well with our lives. All else is up to us.
The God and The Goddess do not exist and separate sentient deities, apart from us, looking over and out for us and our wellbeing. The God and The Goddess exist, in all the deific forms man has created, as an interpretation of the infinite potential and power that humans are a part of and can lay claim to. They exist because humans have not come to a point in their evolution where they can grasp and accept the true nature of their existence and all the power and responsibility that comes with it.
This does not make their existence any less real or substantive, it merely underlines the fact that each deity we feel and interact with is an intimate and unfiltered glimpse into our own psyche and soul. Each individual has a unique point of view, set of ideals and very personal criteria for a Goddess or God. We each need and expect something different from the divine presence and therefore each person who encounters a deific manifestation will interpret it in a manner wholly unique to themselves.
The giving of human form and character traits to the divine presence is essential to our own psyche in its current state of development. Humans are incapable of accepting that in the end, we each are the Divine Presence given flesh, with all the power and potential that exists within the infinity of creation. To acknowledge such a thing is beyond us for numerous reasons, the two most prominent reasons being that we cannot yet wholly access and wield our power and secondly, that to accept that we have such access to the power of the divine would be to acknowledge the complete lack of care we have displayed in the development of the world and humans as a social creature. Our minds are not yet capable of immense power and responsibility, nor do we have the capacity to manage and deal with the tremendous guilt we will surely feel when we see just how wasteful and destructive we have been to our world.
The Goddess, The God, Hecate, Zeus, Great Sky Father, Isis, Yahweh, Allah, Krishna, each is as real and as solid as our individual faith in them. As our faith in ourselves and our own abilities and power builds our Deities will slowly fade, becoming the foundation of our new found religion, giving us guidance and teaching us how to ascend to our true place within creation. We are our own Gods, and they are us. |
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You watch her carefully, the way the fabric of her clothes glides over her skin, the way the lines of her body contort and sway as she moves with that effortless grace. Her beauty is subtle yet stunning, she turns your head then moves your heart. Her body is the perfect expression of divine feminity, lean and strong, but soft and full, curving and supple, her curves flair sensually, drawing you into the contours of her body. She makes you realise why ancient pagans believed that a woman was a mans path to god, through the one act that allows we mere mortals to have the power of a god and create a life, through sex do man and woman truly bring themselves to the power of the divine.
She seduces you with her calm confidence, her soft smile, the dancing mirth in her deep alluring eyes. She sees you watching and her cheeks color softly, she drops her eyes but not before you see that she's more pleased than embarassed. Her full lips purse up into a demure smile as she composes herself and lifts her eyes to meet yours openly, accepting your interest and returning it. She tilts her head exposing the line of her neck, offering her skin to you, her pulse thrumming and strong, she smiles and watches your eyes dance over her.
She is beauty embodied, she is the keeper of humanity's soul, within her lies the womb from wich all life springs, her strength sustains us, her wisdom guides us and her compassion heals us.
She is our balance, her gentle care, her patience and wisdom, her passion and strength. Without her we are mere mortals, angry and uncivilized. In the perfect union of man and woman lies the key to all things. In the balance of masculine and feminine is the one truth that will never change.
She is cherished, she is glorified, she is what makes us divine. Without her we are whole, but mortal, together we ascend to our godhead. She is woman and without her we all fail in the end.
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Empty, for all my elloquence there is no word more fitting that this
I am empty
Empty of love
Empty of pain
Empty of anger
I am the cold endless dark
There is no rage, no hope, no wanting.
There is no love, no passion, no fire.
I am empty
Husked out and clean
Too tired to fight
Too beaten to care
I cannot heal
I cannot feel
I have no more tears
I want to fall into the infinite
Let it's cool darkness wash over me
Consume me
End me
The darkness lies at the root of my soul
I want to accept the dark eternity and toil no more
I can't
To quit is not within me
To allow myself to lose hope is beyond me
I will wake tomorrow and seek once more
The love that evades me endlessly
Make myself a man worthy of the sort of love I want
Find myself a woman capable of giving the sort of love I want |
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You hear alot of debate and discussion about the nature of the balance of power in a true BDSM relationship. And in truth, each relationship has it's own balance to find, some are wholly controlled by the Dominant one and the submissive is entirely created and controlled by the Dominant. For me personally, I prefer a real balance of power. Not in that the submissive exerts an overt control over me, but rather there is a bond of trust and understanding.
For me, the Dominants role is to earn the trust and respect of their submissive, listen to them, watch them, and learn their fantasies, desires, fears and weaknesses. Find what triggers pleasure, pain, fear, joy and then use what they have learned to create scenarios that expand on those themes. By doing this the Dominant allows their sub to grow as a person and individual, allows them to more fully become a self realised and self aware person. In this way you show your submissive that you love and cherish them, and with that you earn their unquestioned obedience, born of love and respect. And here is where the balance lies, you expend effort to learn of your sub, all there is to learn of them, and use it to create ways for them to experience their fantasies and deepest pleasure, allow them to conquer their fears and demons and just become a more pure version of themselves. The Dominant subverts their own desires for their sub to the needs of the sub, and in this submission, they earn the loyalty and submission they seek.
Balance.
~M |
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Any Man that cannot control Himself
Has no business controlling another
You rule by will and word alone
She serves out of love and respect
All else is a lie
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Just a note to those few who have ruled Me out due to My ideas on being poly. Merely because I state I am poly and would love a bevvy of darling subs at My beck and call does not mean that I don't imagine that there is one woman out there who could fullfill and satisify Me to the point where I have desire for her and her alone.
~M
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