|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Thank you for taking a look at my profile. At this time I'm conversing with a gentleman who i would like to concentrate on getting to know. Please don't be offended if i don't respond to emails.
I long to find and serve a truly dominant man. I need to feel the freedom of complete submission. I want to tremble at His touch, the sound of his command; to float under His authority and to soar in sub space.
I would like to find an open, honest, respectful and trustworthy person. This individual HAS to be dominant and willing to train me to be as he wishes.
Percussion play is really a turn on for me but TPE is the key. I learned a long time ago that the one I serve needs to stimulate my mind as well as my body. I’m very sexual but am not into casual play that doesn’t provide the depth of the release I crave leaving me bruised and more frustrated.
A sense of humor is a wonderful thing and I enjoy laughing even if at times it means laughing at me. The person I seek will need to possess one too and patience wouldn't hurt. It appears I lost mine (if I ever really had any).
If you want to know my views on D/s, my submission, interests etc. please feel free to send me an email and I’ll answer them in a timely fashion and with openness and honesty. I would appreciate the same as answering the way you feel someone wants you to be is unfair for both.
I don't wish to be too abrupt but I'm trying to be direct in what I'm looking for. In a true D/s relationship I’m very submissive even slave like - so intent on my service to the One I serve. I want to find some man who is compatible and who wants to explore this journey with me.
Limits are hard for me to define as I have found they expand and change to the person I serve. Something I may have said at one time was a limit has become a major arousal point for me because it pleased the one I served at the time. I have hard limits and can't see those changing such as the involvement of children.
Only true and complete submission to one who is worthy will set me free.
|
|
|
|
|
An unexpected day off! Not always a good thing as the money is always nice but the sun is shining there is a nice breeze blowing so it's a nice day for a walk, gardening, lawn mowing or even sitting out in the shade with a favorite novel.
What shall I do?!
The day is mine to do as I please .... grrr ... sounds terrible.
To a submissive ... |
|
|
|
|
The other day I woke turned on my computer and for whatever reason it protested. I have mornings like that - really not wanting to come out of that sleep. However no matter how much i poked at it and coaxed it to wake up and function it really didn't want to co operate. Finally it began to work normally and I was happy.
As the day wore on a reboot was necessary and before I knew it she was asleep on the job again. This time it was dire; she had slipped into a coma. I bundled her up and rushed her to the nearest medic. Thankfully a young intern was able to revive her and at last she is back home and I am again online!
|
|
|
|
|
As a footnote to my earlier post ...
I'm submissive and very far from stupid. I was married for 12 yrs but was single and lived independently the rest of those years. I live in my own home, I pay my bills, and I have friends and a life. I'm looking for a dominant man to fulfill and stimulate as he will me. Someone who isn't intimidated by a strong-willed, intelligent submissive but who expects it.
|
|
|
|
|
A better look at me . . . .
I’m hoping that by posting a journal entry better explaining myself will allow a more thorough look into me. Here’s hoping some legit Dominant will take a look and see something appealing to him.
Submissive is something I am and want to strive to perfect, but how is this possible with no one to serve? I keep saying the need to serve for me is like the need of water to the body or oxygen to the lungs; this isn’t an exaggeration it just is. Right now I find myself trying to appease it somewhat by doing deeds and tasks to please and serve family, friends and co-workers. After being released from service a couple years ago I tried to replace the physical needs I felt such as a spanking or sexual release. I’m thankful to know some ‘safe’ people in the local community that was kind enough to provide such stimulus in a safe, sane environment. This however didn’t fill the void and as time has worn on it has only left me feeling more frustrated and distant from my search. The joy I get from submitting fully to another is the dragon I chase. Rapture, intoxication, ecstasy, perhaps even the purpose of my existence during this life cycle.
Being submissive has brought me such sorrow and joy. When I was younger with little experience in the ways of relationships between men and women I sought a type of man who in most cases turned out to be domineering and not dominant. (A huge difference) Because it’s my natural inclination to become subservient to a man in a relationship my poor judgments lead me to dark places and lonely feelings. Feelings of being taken for granted and even abused. As I matured and learned more of those special traits to look for I was lead into the Garden of Eden. Such joy and beauty are not known on this earth; my limited vocabulary is unable to fully put to words how it can make a soul feel.
The one I seek has to be a strong willed man, a dominant personality, respectful, intelligent, imaginative, and sexual. He has to be a person who possesses the mind, knowing it to be the best sex toy of all, before taking control of the body. He needs to control with his voice first. A man who knows the D/s relationship flourishes when the Dom and sub are compatible, moving in the same direction to achieve a similar goal. Who knows that whips, bonds, toys of various sizes and shapes are only adornments to an already stable relationship. He knows that sex is heightened by the dance he and his submissive do. He is completed before meeting me but stronger because he shares his dominance and authority with me. This man grasps the concept that discipline is an integral part of the D/s relationship; he cares enough about the well-being and progression of both the value of the relationship as well as the development of the submissive. He recognizes that both in the relationship will grow in themselves and together they will become better individuals because of the give and take. He sees that it is a balance – a Yin and Yang.
In my dreams I serve again and experience such lightness and freedom; is this something I’ll ever realize again in my waking hours?
LW |
|
|
|
|
This evening while chatting with a man who I have only chatted with a few times, he felt the need to shake his penis at me.
PLEASE hear me when I say this.
DON’T DO THAT TO ME. I find it very offensive and disgusting.
I love cock, and can’t think what I wouldn’t do right now to have one that I was permitted to enjoy. In the flesh and enjoying the man attached to it.
I DON’T WANT TO SEE SOME STRANGER’S!
Please no cock pics. Please. |
|
|
|
|
***I’m using ‘he’ here since I’m heterosexual and I serve men … er … a man, this is however something that faces both sexes on both sides of the coin.***
The married dominant ...... that is married to someone other than the one who serves him.
To who is this fair? Him? The submissive? His wife? Children if part of the package?
I speak from experience; the first Dominant I served was married with two children at home. His wife and children of course didn’t know of this woman who Daddy went off to meet in hotel rooms and such. Some excuse or another used to make his departure from his family seem justified. We all know of someone who has been unfaithful in their marriage, perhaps it was even ourselves being the unfaithful one. That is one thing … to be messing around with a married person or being the one who’s messing around. We’re adults and we make a bed and we lie in it.
In a D/s relationship – or at least one that I seek – goes deeper than that. It requires someone who is ‘there’, not always physically but mentally and emotionally to offer support. Sometimes in these types of relationships punishment is required for misdeeds, sometimes after a punishment a submissive is down even depressed for his/her failure to please. Even if the one they serve isn’t there in body a call to have a little reassurance from the voice that means so much to them is enough. When that ‘voice’ is married that isn’t an option available to this submissive because they can’t call the ‘happy home’ and ask to speak with Master/Mistress. An intense time together can be similar in after effects leaving either the Dominant or submissive needing a ‘touch’ from the one they shared such an intense experience with. This has to be denied because of ‘family commitments’.
The Dominant I’m sure feels pulled between family commitment and the desire to be with his/her sub. I’m sure s/he finds themselves sometimes begrudgingly at an event that they would rather be spending time training and sharing with the submissive. Perhaps, even when they should be concentrating on family activities, they are more mentally focused on activities they would like to share with sub. I’m sure the guilt associated with this turmoil must be a heavy burden to bear. Divided loyalties.
The submissive has to show more restraint than any bonds can provide, for s/he is more alone now then when they were single, unattached souls. To whom does s/he share how that punishment spanking made her feel when those emotions are at their highest? Quite often hours perhaps even days after. A submissive comes to rely on the one s/he serves for so much moral support but with a married dominant this isn’t allowed because of certain restrictions. Activities that could be shared with someone they are in a deep mental relationship with can’t be shared for fear of being seen or family commitments come first. (As they should) Where does this leave a submissive who is trying to go deeper, because deeper means more trust, faith and devotion and all this comes with security which there is none?
And finally the spouse; the one who is kept in the dark from all this. The one who doesn’t like such activities as is played behind locked doors – perhaps even finds such to be degrading and ‘sick’. So not only are their partners being unfaithful (whether sex is involved or not; because they are going to see it as being deceived by the one they are married) but they are doing ‘disgusting’ things with this stranger who is disrupting our ‘happy home’. How do you say ‘HUGE’ alimony?
I personally do not want to be involved with a Dominant who is married to someone else for these reasons and more. Please don’t take offence to my opinion it’s just that ‘my opinion’. However I am entitled to it and at the end of the day I'm the one who must look myself in the mirror.
LW |
|
|
|
|
Wow, how quickly a terrible experience can take place!
I only just joined this site last evening and only after a lot of thought and discussion with myself. Upon joining I perused a few profiles, commented on those I was intrigued by. One gentleman responded and we exchanged emails and then added each other to MSN to see how things progressed. There were very few questions exchanged and most of them asked by him. This morning when I log on line he's demanding a definitive answer on me relocating to a different province. When I ask if I may ask questions, this gentleman becomes sensitive to such begrudgingly answering and taking offence if I asked for clarification. The end of this brief messenger exchange was for me to undergo major surgery so I will arrive at his location without fear of getting pregnant by him as he DOES NOT practice safe sex. When asked if he was able to visit before me 'relocating' I was told this wasn't something that was financially available to him at this time. I excused myself from the conversation and thought about all that had been discussed and even reviewed the conversation that I kept. Upon logging into my messenger an hour later to tell the gentlemen that I didn't wish to waste his time, (as he stated several times that he doesn't like to do that) but I didn't feel we were compatible. Talk about sensitive .... he informs me I hurt him, I conned him, he invested time into me and for this.
Good grief I wasn't disrespectful, I didn't promise anything I couldn't/wouldn't deliver, and stated I wasn't someone to jump into things.
I have a horrible taste in my mouth and really resent having it! |
|
|
|
|
I have been part of bdsm communities (online) however tend to loose patience with the BS that abounds in such places. Married men looking for some kink on the side, people looking to add to a harem they have little control over, some swinger looking to add to the list of people they chat or play with. This is okay but not what I look for.
The person I seek is a dominant by nature, respectful, caring, trustworthy and honest. Someone who needs to share his dominance and authority as much as he wants to accept my submission and total service to him. I need someone who will stimulate my mind as well as my body; someone who will make me strive to be a better person/submissive.
When I found myself here last night I asked if I had the emotional energy to start sorting through profiles, chats, emails - will this be the time I find someone genuine and true? Is it right to deny my body and soul what seems to be as necessary to me as oxygen?
LW |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
