I live in the Detroit area but have five nicely wooded acres in Northern Mi. where I'm going to put up a 1800+ sq. ft. home. I'm scouting out some great places for outdoor bondage and spanking.
I've been in the scene for many years both as a dominant and submissive. I started out as a submissive and truly understand both sides of this thingie that we do.
My first marriage was to a submissive woman. But at the time...? We were both young. I was 25. She was 21. I'd been practicing self bondage and meeting to play with others as a submissive for about eight years when we got married. I "trained her" as a Domme but of course not understanding that she was a submissive the "training" didn't take very well and we divorced. I now understand this in retrospect *and* after many years of therapy.
My present marriage, to my submissive pet, is totally poly. We meet separately as well as together.
If anyone asks me what the most important part of a BDsm relationship is I tell them it's most important that you like/love your partner and have mutual interests. To "look for someone you're compatible with" BEFORE tossing the **very difficult** parts of BDsm into the mix. After all, after the flogger stops flogging, the ropes are stowed, and the cuddling/aftercare is done whatinhell are you gonna talk about?
I'm mostly interested in sensuous bondage, body worship, mild to stringent bondage, and sensory deprivation/overload. I love role-playing, floggings, and other mild CP. This isn't to say that I can't or don't swing a mean paddle or strap. I also have a couple of canes but they don't get used much unless It's desired by my pet. I tend to enjoy bare handed spankings but these are for my partner's pleasure, not punishment. IMHO "punishment" of a mature adult is sort of nonproductive.
I don't have a fetish as such for anything like corsets, latex, leather, heels, etc. but of course being the typical male I am visually oriented so I "love looking" -- gazing at -- beautiful women thus clad. Well, I do have "a thing" for corsets.

Blessed be, Jim
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The probability of someone watching me is directly proportional to the stupidity of my actions.