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So here's the thing. What I get off on the most is getting a woman off. The feeling of power as she writhes in helpless ecstasy and cums screaming. That's what I like.
I've found I get on better with ladies who approach sex from the viewpoint of hedonism: we're in this for pleasure. The reason why I like pushing a woman around, or tying her down, or spanking till she cries, is because I know it's making her feel quivery and warm inside, and that the endpoint will be bliss. Hopefully bliss many times.
Sex works best with a connection beyond the physical (usually, anyway: I can be as shallow as anyone sometimes). A sense of humor and a sense of joy are what I enjoy, and I think what I provide, also. Ideally good, hard, dirty sex should be followed with laughter and comfort and maybe a glass of wine.
So that's what I like.
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