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| I have been in the D/s lifestyle for 20 years. For me it has never been a game, pretend, role play, or a fantasy. It is real. I am submissive. I am very open minded. I am a lot of different things, and one of those things just happens to be that I am very sexual. But that does not define me. I am a mother, a friend, a sister, an aunt. I am loyal, caring, compassionate, giving to a fault, gregarious, an extrovert. I am extreme in everything I do. I dont know how to do things half way. I am missing the filter in my brain that holds thoughts inside my mouth. I am very funny. I make people comfortable, so much so that they will tell me things they've never told another soul. I am sensitive to the needs, wants and feelings of others. I have a need to please. I am loud, I talk loudly, laugh loudly. And I do not dislike any of this about me. I actually do like it all. I trust...
The man that I am looking for has integrity. He is caring, responsible, has strong character and self control. There is more to him than his sexual urges. He has tact. He is a gentleman. He is protective, not jealous. The things that are important to him in a "partner" do not start in the bedroom, or in ropes, or her ability to withstand pain. He is looking for a woman that he will value and is therefor willing to invest in a foundation that has strength and substance. The man that I will be able to give myself has patience, and the desire to invest in someone that will be a great value to him, an asset to his life. He recognizes the wisdom in building and nurturing the relationship with his "partner." What value is she if she is insecure, weak, fearful? Is that submission a gift of value? The man that I want wants the submission of a strong woman.
I am not interested in discussing fantasies, likes and dislikes, limits or anything that has to do with sex or D/s. I NEED first and foremost a man. A real man. All of those things come with time. Because first I need a man that is interested in me for more than a sexual object or a toy. Not because I dislike being that, but because I dislike being ONLY that. It is painful. And as desperately hard to hide this fact from the world and myself, I am sensitive. I hurt when I am treated like I don't matter or mean anything. I am left devestated and broken when I am lied to and tossed aside, like something of no value.
When that man finds me, he will have everything else that he wants in a woman that will give her submission, her life to his keeping.
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