SOMETIMES MASTER'S ARE SO SILLY. IT'S A GOOD THING WE SLAVES KNOW OUR MASTERS SO WELL THAT WE KNOW WHEN THEY ARE WRONG, WE JUST HAVE TO GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND IT WITHOUT SAYING IT OR MOST OF THE TIME WITHOUT THEM THINKING THEY ARE WRONG.
MY MASTER BROKE UP WITH ME THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS SO BUSY, BETWEEN WORKING SOMETIMES 16 HOUR DAYS AT THE DIESEL SHOP HE OWNS, BEING WITH HIS WIFE AND KIDS HE THOUGHT I NEEDED AND DESERVED MUCH MORE TIME THAN HE IS ABLE TO GIVE ME WITH A MAN OR A MASTER.
SILLY MASTER, I TOLD HIM THE DAY HE COLLARED ME 1ST I NEVER EXPECT HIM TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR ME, IN FACT I WOULD NEVER WANT THAT AT ALL, IF ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENED IT WOULD HAVE TO BE BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN SHIT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I MADE IT CLEAR THAT I UNDERSTOOD HIS DEMANDS ON HIS TIME, THAT OTHER THAN OCCASIONALLY TAKING ME TO ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT DOCTOR VISITS I HAVE TO GO TO AND SPENDING A FEW HOURS WITH ME JUST A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK AND SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH ME A COUPLE OF TIMES A MONTH WAS FINE FOR NOW, UNTIL WORK SLOWS DOWN, HIS OLDEST SON GETS HIS AFFAIRS TOGETHER AND STARTS COLLEGE OR GOES TO JAIL. AND MOST OF ALL WHEN I GET MY DISABILITY SETTLEMENT AND I BUY OUR HOUSE. WELL MY HOUSE AND HIS SECOND HOME SO TO SPEAK. WELL RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO COURT AGAIN AND IT MAY TAKE ANOTHER 6-8 MONTHS TO GET MY MONEY, BUT I AM MOVING INTO MY OWN APARTMENT IN OCTOBER, AND TOLD HIM THAT I DIDN'T EVEN CARE WHAT CONDITION IT IS IN AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO MICE AND NO ROACH, SPIDER OR OTHER HORRIBLE INSECT ISSUE, THERE IS NOTHING THAT A COUPLE OF COATS OF PAINT, A CARPET CLEANER, CLEANSER, BLEACH, WINDEX RAGS AND A MOP AND BROOM CAN'T FIX. ONLY HE WOULD NEED TO DO THE PAINTING BECAUSE OF MY BACK AND NECK INJURIES. THAT WAY HE CAN COME OVER WHENEVER HE GETS THE TIME. SINCE HIS SON IS GOING TO COLLEGE HE WILL NO LONGER BE SPENDING THE NIGHT AT THE SHOP ALL THE TIME SO HE CAN TELL HIS FAMILY HE IS JUST TOO TIRED TO DRIVE AN HOUR TO GET HOME SO HE IS STAYING THERE AND GETTING BACK TO THE JOB HE IS WORKING ON EARLY. HE HAS DONE IT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME BEFORE. THEN HE CAN SPEND REAL TIME WITH ME A LITTLE MORE OFTEN.
BUT I AM SO USED TO SLEEPING ALONE ALL THESE YEARS THAT IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME, AS MUCH AS I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SLEEP IN HIS LOVING ARMS, I CAN HANDLE IT JUST FINE WHEN I CAN'T. AND I REMINDED HIM HE HAD BEEN ON VACATION FOR 10 DAYS THEN WORKING 16 HOUR DAYS WITH HIS SON THERE 24/7 SO I HADN'T HAD MY MASTER FIX SO TO SPEAK IN 2 WEEKS. YES TO SERVE HIM. BUT WE JUST LOVE BEING TOGETHER TOO, JUST TALKING, GOING TO THE MOUNTAINS AND PLAYING, GOING TO THE PARK AND HAVING A PICNIC. YOU KNOW THE OTHER SIDE OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP. WE FINALLY GOT TO DO THAT FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS, BUT TO BE HONEST, I DESPERATELY NEEDED TO SERVE HIM AND WELL YOU KNOW.....AND WITH AN INSANE WORK LOAD THEN A HORRIBLE SEIZURE THAT ENDED ME UP IN THE ER HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING WHAT WAS BEST FOR ME BY RELEASING ME. AFTER WE TALKED TUESDAY MORNING AND AFTER HE READ THE BEAUTIFUL EMAIL I SENT HIM HE COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD THAT AS MUCH AS IT BROKE MY HEART AND AS MUCH AS I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM, THAT LOSING ME WOULD KILL HIM TOO. HE WOULD WONDER EVERY DAY IF I WAS OK, IF I WAS WITH A MASTER WHO LOVED ME AND TOOK CARE OF ME AND TREATED ME AS GOOD AS HE DOES, AND TERRIFIED THAT I WAS WITH SOMEONE WHO ABUSED ME (IN A BAD WAY THAT IS) AND TORE ME DOWN UNTIL I THOUGHT I WAS WORTHLESS AND LOST THE FIRE IN MY EYES HE CHERISHES SO MUCH. AND HE AGREED WITH ME, I HAVE WAITED ALL MY LIFE FOR HIM AND HE HAS SEARCHED ALL OF HIS LIFE FOR ME. HE KNOWS HE WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER SLAVE AS AMAZING AS ME, AND HE WOULD SEARCH ALL HIS LIFE AND NEVER COME CLOSE. THEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WAS LEAVING ME, I WOULD NEVER BE COLLARED BY ANOTHER MAN AGAIN. THAT I WILL ACCEPT A COLLAR FROM A MISTRESS BUT NEVER A MAN.
SO TUESDAY MORNING HE CALLED ME AND WE TALKED FOR OVER AN HOUR, AND TOLD ME HE CHANGED HIS MIND AND WOULD I TAKE HIS COLLAR BACK.
HOW IN GODS NAME COULD I EVER SAY NO? WE FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, AND I DO MEAN LOVE. THERE IS NOTHING I WON'T DO FOR MY MASTER, NO MATTER HOW CONFUSED HE GETS, EVEN HE CAN GET THE WRONG IDEAS, AND MAKE THE WRONG DECISIONS. BUT NOW HE KNOWS THAT I WILL ALWAYS COME BACK. IS THAT A GOOD THING? I DO THINK THAT IT WILL BE A VERY LONG TIME BEFORE HE EVER EVEN CONSIDERS SAYING THOSE WORDS EVER AGAIN. WHAT KIND OF SLAVE WOULD LOVE THAT SIDE OF HIM THAT IS VANILLA AND FAMILY MAN, THAT LOVES HIS WIFE AND KIDS. NEVER ASK HIM TO LEAVE HER FOR ME. AND ASK FOR AS LITTLE TIME AS I DO. I KNOW PART OF IT IS THAT HE NEEDS MORE TIME WITH ME THAN HE GETS, SOMETIMES HE NEEDS TO BE REMINDED OF JUST WHAT HE HAS. BUT HE HAS ME HEAD OVER HEELS, DEEPLY, MADLY AND WHEN I SAY FOREVER I AM NOT LIKE 99.9% OF THE PEOPLE OUT THERE, I MEAN FOREVER. EVEN IF SOMETHING DID HAPPEN AND WE DID LOSE ONE ANOTHER FOR WHATEVER REASON, I WILL STILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER. THINK OF HIM OFTEN, MISS THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE, THOSE BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES I GET LOST IN THAT SEE DIRECTLY INTO MY SOUL, MISS THE WAY HE SMELLS, HIS LAUGHTER, OH GOD MISS HIS KISSES, AND HE WOULD ALWAYS BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE FANTASIES. NO MATTER WHO I WAS WITH OR WHERE MY PATH IN LIFE TOOK ME. BECAUSE HE CHANGED ME LIFE FOREVER. LITERALLY SAVED ME, AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT EVEN IF I WAS IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND WANTED ME BACK, EVEN YEARS DOWN THE ROAD, I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD STAY WITH WHOM I WAS WITH, THE SECOND I LOOKED INTO THOSE EYES, I WOULD BE HELPLESS, AND FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ALL OVER AGAIN. NOW I MAY NOT SAY THAT DOWN THE ROAD, I MAY BE STRONG ENOUGH BY THAT TIME, OR HAVE FOUND SOMEONE THAT I CAN LOVE EVEN MORE AND CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT EVEN MORE AND BE HIS FRIEND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. BUT RIGHT NOW, I FELL RIGHT BACK INTO HIS TRAP. IF YOU COULD CALL IT THAT. BECAUSE WITHIN MY SLAVERY TO THIS MOST AMAZING MASTER I HAVE TRULY FOUND FREEDOM WITHIN MY SLAVERY.
