"well reasoned and loving discipline"

looking after "spiritual growth and physical needs" of they who submit to guidance and fulfilment.

"There is a huge difference between punishment inflicted out of anger and cruelty by one person overpowering another, and discipline that is meted out with love and reason, gratefully and willingly received. "

"We believe that a man can adopt a submissive and servile role and allow his wife to dominate him sexually, if it is absolutely clear that outside of the bedroom, the husband is the spiritual head of the marriage. "

FYI, a man choosing to allow a woman to bind him with rules is still capable of being the spiritual head of the marriage, even if it is beyond just sex, because he has chosen that it should be so - she has not forced him or tricked him into it. And, if it is not marriage, there is no admonition that the man must, in any way, be the head of anything. He can willingly submit as a slave or servant for any woman where their lifestyles are compatible.

The above are concepts and ideas, some are quotes taken from another site, related to BDSM as can be healthfully practiced by Christians.

Keep in mind, practising BDSM is not like practicing Druidsm or Buddhism, where one must necessarily incorporate teachings which conflict with the Holy Scriptures. It is more like practising vegetarianism; a movement toward a more healthy lifestyle, eschewing the crap that, in modern day, passes for nourishment and acting more in tune with nature.
Nature, darlings, not animalistic instinct. It is the nature of man to rise above the animals, to think, to love, to have rules and regulations, to own and be owned, to serve and be served. And, of course, to cultivate.

I love Jehovah and I have no room in my life for those who would insult me for this love or who would seek to turn me away from it; but, I do have room in my life for those who can respect this love and the practices that stem from it and serve me in a manner that reflects respect, if not admiration, for same.

You should understand that and if you are not one who can do this, you should go on your way to find what will work for you. Whereas, if you understand it and can embrace such a life, where there are definite BDSM practices but not where it is about "dark desires'" or shameful practices, then, perhaps, you should contact me. 

There is no sense in contacting me unless you think you might want to be a part of my life. It wastes your time and mine.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/bible/mr/chapter_008.htm

   

Good morning.  

Some persons have expressed their opinion that my going to the Tuesday night cheap movies is a sign of a lack of dominance, even more so if I tell them to take me there. 
Well, which part of enjoying the spice of life that is sweet anticipation and exerting self control, as well as thinking of the bigger picture and what is worth spending that extra money on and what is not, then abstaining from excesses when they will not please one as well as leading potential slaves into a mind-set of thrifty indulgences over waste sounds out of control to you? 

You need to learn to use your mind to think,  consider, extrapolate information from surrounding persons and habitats in whatever way it is possible, and to act based on as close to accurate knowledge as possible. That's why you have it, in the first place. It's not just a place to store information on pornos, sports statistics and video game scores! 

Are you in Tucson or are you able to be so, within a matter of days?

Are you contacting me because you have read my journal and know you want me to consider you for service?

Do you know what skills and finances you have available for service?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, do not contact me.

Understand, I am seeking real slaves, as in you will not make up the rules, I will not modify my life to please you but you will modify your life to suit my needs and I will brook no limits or demands past basic health and safety concerns (which will include protection from social suicide).

All other things being equal, I would accept slaves in five basic forms of servitude:

1. The Play Toy. A slave who comes over or hosts, for the purpose of being objectified, tied up, spanked, ridden around like a pony, or whatever else his Mistress deems as fun for the day. This slave type would serve financially as well, but would otherwise be mostly living a normal life when not required by his Mistress. He might be put on a schedule, ordered to do certain tasks to remind himself of his status, but, he would not live with his Mistress, attend events with her or anything else.

2. The Companion. A slave who attends events with his Mistress. In fact, he would keep himself attuned to finding events, planning shopping trips and mini excursions, that would please his Mistress. He would also come over, perform needful tasks and simply sit at the feet of his Mistress and be content, at times.Whether he was also treated as a play toy would be based on personal desire of his Mistress, but, it would not be his primary purpose. Obviously, financial service is required for this type of slave.

3. Worker Drone.  A slave whose purpose is only to work, wherever, whenever and to whatever extent his Mistress requires. Some financial service may be required, and of course more is always acceptable; but, it would mostly be in regards to the task at hand. Such as, if the Mistress required shelves and did not have suitable materials, the worker drone slave would go and purchase, or otherwise obtain in a legal manner, the needed materials and then he would build the shelves as required. He would not be a companion. He might be a play toy, as well.

4. The Patron. I am an artist. It is a fine tradition for a patron who is particularly enamoured of an artist or their work, to give money to the artist so that they may pay their bills and purchase the necessary materials to create. Some patrons were treated much like slaves, because of their devotion to the artist. Some artists were treated much like slaves, because of their dependence upon the financial generosity of their patrons. Obviously, I am more interested in the former than the latter; but, I would consider any situation involving a patron that was geared toward the artistic side of life.

5. The All Around Slave. Companionable, hard working, financially sound and giving, as willing to be caged as cosseted. This slave is full time, whether live in or not, and would chafe at simply being a toy, or a worker, or a companion or a patron, but, might accept those roles if that was all they could get. For this slave, it is not what is done, it is how they are accepted, owned, bound to the other person and utilized for the pleasure or purpose of another. There may be some limitations, due to moral issues, religious beliefs, societal needs, or health.

These are all great slave types and they all have good purposes, that would work in my life. The common ground for these slaves is the desire to be owned and utilized, to belong and for this to be more intense than would happen from a person who was giving orders out of disinterested greed.

The difference between these slave types and submissives or sex or fetish slaves is that their primary desire is to be owned and to belong,  to fulfil the needs of another; wherein the other types primary motivation is to fulfil their fleshly or emotional needs.

This is not to say that submissives, sex or fetish slaves cannot be fun, as they can be; or that they cannot be deep, wonderful people. It is to say that when it comes to BDSM, they are mainly here to serve their own needs. That just doesn't work for me, at this point in my life.

At any rate, if you are interested in being one of those slave types whilst serving me, be aware that I work at my own pace, I will treat you like property and there will be no "getting to know you" period, beyond what one would take for a car, cow, or anything else one was bringing into one's life to suit one's needs. 

In the end, whether or not you will be accepted has very little to do with what you look like, how much money you have or what you do/have done sexually. It has everything to do with your attitude and if it displays a desire to serve and a need to think of the comfort of others. That is what you will be tested for, and that is where most fail miserably.

Look, you (and you know who you are):  It is not an attack upon you for me to state on my profile and in my journal entries what I shall and shall not accept in my life.

It would be an attack if I read what you found to be acceptable in your life and then I emailed you to curse at you, threaten you, belittle you, or send viruses your way because of my disapproval of same.

So, in fact, it is you who are attacking me, childishly, because you just can't deal with the fact that you see something in me that you want, but, I don't see you as desirable. Well, wahh! If, in fact, you really did see me as desirable, you'd accept the person I am. Because, really, we are both just saying the same things: There may be something good about you, but, not enough to make it work.

The difference is that I am not trying to hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable as a result. Nor am I attempting to force you to change to fit my lifestyle, in those "hard limit" sort of ways; but, you, while claiming to be submissive and slave-like, are trying to force me to change, to turn away from God and my beliefs, simply for the sake of allowing you to use my body in ways that would please you. And, that is just wrong!

It's wrong from the standpoint of simple humanity, it's wrong spiritually, it's tantamount to rape and oppression from a legal standpoint, and, it is certainly against the most basic principles of BDSM.

Give it up. I won't change for you. I am seeking what I need. You seek what you need. If we are not compatible, so be it. Move on!

I will reiterate that I am Christian, of very particular beliefs. No, you do not have to accept those beliefs into your life; it is your choice whether you do or not. However, if you do not believe them, as well, I have the choice not to accept you into my life.

Christianity, like many other things, is a discipline. Very few people manage to not fall short of the ideals, on a day to day basis, because, it is a very fine art to learn. Fortunately one gets points for trying.

However, if one is openly exhibiting one's naked flesh for the amusement of others, performing bisexual acts, and demanding ass play, one is falling very short of Christian standards, indeed, and it is probably best, under those circumstances, to stop and take stock of your life; and, then decide if Christian is really what you want to be. 
Because, if it is, you need to read the Bible and reapply yourself to its principles, such as not fornicating and only having sex with the person of the opposite sex that one is married to, if and when one is married; and, of course, modesty.

Bisexual exhibitionists, therefore - in case you did not get the point - need not apply for a position as my slave, for they will not be accepted. And, if you were not applying, you should not have been contacting me. 

Was on my profile:

STATE YOUR PURPOSE OR DIE!

lol

Seriously, do not contact me telling me you want to serve me or think you want to, unless you are ready to be  tested and considered. You will not get to know me well enough to make that determination by trying to chat me up, as if you try to chat me up, you are already not the slave I want.

Don't expect me to rehash the same information to hundreds of different men every week. I haven't the energy. Read the journal entries and forum posts. That's why they are there. If you would like to see additional writings, so you can learn more, ask politely, as a slave should, and I will provide you with links. 

Once you contact me, expect to begin answering questions and performing activities. That's how I will get to know you well enough to decide if I am even interested.

"You must love your neighbor as yourself.—Matt. 22:39.

That love (a‧ga′pe in Greek) is a moral love that takes into account duty, principle, and propriety, but it can be warm and intense. (1 Pet. 1:22) It is reflected in selfless words and deeds. (1 Cor. 13:4-7) Because love is a product of God’s holy spirit, it enables true Christians to do what others cannot do, such as overcome racial, cultural, and political barriers. (John 13:34, 35; Gal. 5:22) Sheeplike ones cannot help but be moved when they see such love. For example, when a young Jewish man in Israel attended his first Christian meeting, he was amazed to see Jewish and Arab brothers worshipping Jehovah side by side. As a result, he began to attend meetings regularly and accepted a Bible study. Do you show such heartfelt love to your brothers? And do you make it a point to extend a warm welcome to newcomers at your Kingdom Hall, regardless of their nationality, skin color, or social standing? w10 1/15 3:18, 19"

That's a quote from a friend's FB post. Hear, hear, say I. Love should take into account the full spectrum of life and needs of others, while being warm and intense. And, that is also how a Mistress/slave relationship should work. 

It should never be about coldness, abuse, degradation or indifference; but, it should be about sharing, leading, being led, and mutual benefit. And, that is not about being weak or catering to the whims of the slave. It is about caring for their needs.

"slaves" contact me, they talk as though they are ready to  be examined for service and relocate if found acceptable; yet, they do not want to perform any tasks, they do not want to give any information. What do they expect to happen? How do they think they will be tested for fitness as a slave? How else can one tell if someone is worthy of being a slave other than treating them as a slave and seeing how they respond?

Reality check, wannabes! Either you are slave material or you are not. But, guess what? When I go into a fabric shop to look for the proper material for a dress, I check the label and then, if the label seems to say the right things, I look at the cloth to see its quality, cost, what defects it might have and only then do I decide if it is worth my time to take it home. 

Think about it.
One of the most annoying aspects of this whole process is "I'd rather wait until I get to know you before I give any information or .."

So, I should waste my time? Am I the one applying to serve you? I don't think so. You come to me, you act as if you are hoping to serve, so it is you who should be providing the information and activities, to give me reason to believe that you are worth considering. Only after I have determined if I am interested in what you are offering, should further consideration be given. If you don't want it that way, don't make any offers.

And, no, you don't need to know me, not to the extent that you demand. I am not going to be your girlfriend, wife, lover, sister or mother. It doesn't matter if everything in my life suits your whims, or if you  like the way I look, approve of the spices I use for cooking, etc. I have given you the information you need to determine if I am someone you would wish to serve. Everything after that is 1) Am I real? and 2) Am I safe? 

Those are things you will not learn by hanging about online, attempting to play cyber footsie with me. Those come from observation and actual meeting, and maybe even a background check.

In conclusion: If you don't know enough about me to know that you are the sort of slave I seek and I am a Mistress that you believe you want to serve, you shouldn't be contacting me. That's what the journal entries and profile are for. 

Oh yes, you have the right to back out or change your mind, same as I do, at any point where things seem to be going awry; but, if you aren't even going to get started, there is no point in alerting me to your mild interest in fantasizing.

The first thing you should know about me is that I have a job, talents, family who can and will help when there is need. I don't NEED your money. I don't NEED you to make my life. But, I will utilize you to make life better, both for me and for other people. And, if you play your cards right, I might want you.

If service to your community, sharing a life together, family, kindness, tolerance, devotion to God and continued education (at least informally) are not driving interests for you, then we will not be compatible.

People will tell you that I am out of control, because I am overweight; they are right, in some respects. I have things I am working on and they are not fully controlled. Part of the reason I want slaves in my life is to create a situation where better control of those issues is possible. 

So, they are also wrong, to some extent, as when they say "out of control" they mean "unable to control, no matter what", and that is an absolute untruth. I am fully capable under favorable circumstances and somewhat capable even under extremely unfavorable ones. 

Aside from which, part of being in control is knowing when to seek help or listen to advice, or determine the needs of others and to prioritize.

 The mark of a dominant personality is not how much one has that fits within the standards of the society, but, how much one lives by one's own standards even if it means living in deprivation for the sake of not selling yourself out and/or the sake of helping others.

Some of this judgment as to whether a person is or is not capable of self control, you must understand, is based on the perceptions of the judger as to what the priorities should be of the person they are judging.

But, I don't live by their priorities and I do not live their life. I am me, with knowledge of what I need and what to do if I can get it. And, I feel they are equally out of control and unable to  even deal with their own issues, when they prioritize looks and wealth over kindness and connection.

To me, material things add comfort to life, but, they are not life, itself. What I need most is true connection, someone who "has my back". Loyalty and affection are very important to me, and acceptance, belonging. It is in those ways that I need healing more than all others. It is that which I need a slave for more than all other reasons. The work, the money, whatever .. they are all symptoms of the contagion of affection.

The glass is not half full, the glass is not half empty. The glass is cracked, with fingerprint smears, lipstick stains and someone has put a cigarette out and dropped it into the slimy drink remnants at the bottom; but, at least there is a glass and everything else can be cleaned up or repaired.  

That is the viewpoint of a realist optimist, and ,that very much is how I think.  I don't pretend things are great when they are going badly, but, I accept the situation and seek solutions.

I live by my standards and I accept those standards of others into my life which fit my standards. I'd rather die than fail to live by what I believe is right; and, I don't believe the conscious and wilful abuse of others is right, nor is conscious and wilful fornication or the incitement of lust. 

It's not "Oh, she just wants my money and for me to work for her and to use me without giving me anything back." when it comes to these issues. It is not by selfish desire that I refuse you, but, by act of conscience. 

I find the proliferation of sex and sexual conduct in our society to be detrimental to human life, all told. It cheapens unions between us to seek sex and it dishonours all that is lovely about the person one meets to view them as a sex partner. We are so much more than that.

I will not purposely do that which I believe will harm me, for no good cause; and, I do not believe that giving into a lack of self control is a good cause. If I refuse to have sex with you, you should feel flattered, as it means I am also thinking of you and have decided that I shall also refrain from doing what I believe is harmful to you, even though it could have been a great deal of fun and made you think more favourably of me. You matter to me, even if I do not know you - even if I do know you and I do not like your personality. I do not wish to cause you harm, but, to do you good.

If I was married, I would have sex with that person, gladly, as an enhancement to the union we share. I will not have sex with a slave or a random stranger, as there either is a very different union or no union at all going on, and it would not enhance our understanding of each other. 

If we are married, the sex might, then, be playful and kinky and might even involve one or the other of us acting in a dominant or submissive manner, sometimes; but, it would never involve extreme fetishism,abuse or degradation as those things defile a marriage bed.

In other words, whips can be fun; whipping someone until they bleed is just not kosher; whipping someone in anger or disapproval is vile.

This is my hard limit. Do not question it, do not try to change it. Do not try to argue what is or is not sex to me, with me. 

Assume if it involves the purposeful arousal of lust or anything to do with fondling, touching or torturing genitalia, anus or breasts it is sex. Accept it.  Then, understanding my viewpoint, decide to stay and get to know me or to move on to someone whose viewpoint you like better.

While I do not hate anyone, there are actions and activities that I hate or that I find I cannot respect to the point of being unable to respect the persons who are involved in them. There are others that I very much welcome.

Heterosexuality is the norm, that which at the best of times enables the healthful propagation of Man. It is acceptable to me. 

I will only accept full time, live in service or marriage from those who believe this to be true and who will not seek out homosexual acts, including that they will not attempt to engage me in beliefs that females are naturally bisexual or that men should be forced into bisexual activities to humble them or allow themselves, purposely, to become enticed by women having sexual relations with other women or any other imaginable scenario by which they will be seen to openly approve of bisexual or homosexual activity, in whole or in part.

I might accept part time or live-out service from a bisexual or a homosexual, if the service in no way involves any situation where their sexuality will be an issue. They are still human, I love them, I wish them well, but, I don't want to live with them or have their direct influence in my life, as it does not agree with my lifestyle as I have it now or as I would have it evolve into.
I do block people, so as to prevent the wasting of my time and energy - which I have very little of do to Fibromyalgia - but, their sexuality is not one of those things. Neither is religion, unless it is a very specific, hateful viewpoint. 

What I block people over is stuff like gambling, dialation, fisting, cross dressing, watersports, and other things that simply would never, ever fit into my life or which would be so vile to me that I could never respect the person who did them, while knowing that this is part of who and what they are. Some things you can ignore or work around and some things you cannot.

Now, some people would say that gambling is a personal choice and wouldn't affect me, directly; but, there are a lot of families of gamblers who would disagree. I don't like addictive behaviors, people who seek loss of control, selfishness or purposeful thrill seeking. 

They lead to damage, of some type, more often than not. Yes, maybe they wouldn't, but,  I can't respect people who would even take that chance. I can ignore an occasional lottery ticket, but, that's the extent of my being able to pass over that issue; and, that's for family and friends, not for lovers and slaves.

See? It all goes back to standards and a need to live by them. I will not hate you if you gamble, but, I won't trust you, either and I won't respect your choices. It's important to be able to respect choices of people in your life.

Creativity is in me. I love to day dream and pretend shop, online or off, and plan room decor  and design; beading; playing with clay; drawing; painting; digital art: cooking; and I love to write.

Herbal nutrition, food as medicine, alternative medicine are very important to me and not just a little hobby. They are what helps me to maintain some measure of health and sometimes get even better than that. 

Proper eating for me is and must be a way of life, as much as possible. Any person who lives with me must be serous about keeping the air clean, the house dusted,  and learning to cook and eat such things as unleavened bread and beans and rice.

 Processed foods, regular store meats, etc. are unfortunate and necessary evils do to economics, at times; but, good, healthy, well spiced whole grains, grass fed beef, vegetables that have the pesticides and bacteria washed away in a hydrogen peroxide bath, and such as that are what I prefer.

If I could live anywhere in the world that I wanted to live, I don't know where that would be, but, it would not be Arizona. Yet, for now, this is where I am and I am not able to relocate until my situation changes. This is not something that can easily be solved. From what I have read, I would prefer to live some place with temperatures and weather more  like Oregon, Washington or North Dakota.

Right now, I am living in a two bedroom, two bath home. I have a sister who comes over to wash clothes and sometimes my nephews girlfriend does. My son has one bedroom, I have one bedroom and there are two formerly homeless men, one who sleeps in the living room and one who sleeps in the dining room. 

I had thrown out one of the homeless men for unsanitary practices, but, I believe he is now moving back in, with the understanding that if he is moving back in he must never do the things he did, again, and that he must be up bright and early every morning to look for work. 

He had only come by for a visit with the other two men, here, but, he abrasions on his face from where a cop had beat him up for loitering or somesuch; and, he had also been beaten down by some other homeless person, who stole his coat. It was cold last night so I let him stay and we had a talk, this morning, as to the conditions by which he might return. I'll know tonight if he is staying, I guess.

Often, when I am working, I play something like Notting Hill, About a Boy, Stargate SG-1, on the computer  (or, if at Mom and Dad's on their Roku device) for background noise as it helps me concentrate. Often, instead, I listen to a mix of music on Windows Media Player. The distraction of the right sort of noise and/or images helps me to concentrate on the important things I need to do, usually. When they fail, I turn them off. Think stereotypical genius with a bank of televisions. Same basic concept. When you've got too much mind, the extra noise and all sort of acts like an EM Pulse, knocking out all the unnecessary brain activity, by distracting it, so that one can stop being distracted and get on with the job at hand. Trust me!

When I say mix of music, for instance, one play list has Heard it Through the Grapevine by CCR, Somewhere Over the Rainbow (not Judy Garland), 21 Guns by Green Day, 99 Luft Balloons by Nena, 1979 by Smashing Pumpkins, 1999 by Prince, ABC 123 by The Jackson Five, TNT by AC/DC, All that She Wants by Ace of Bass, Alabama Rain by Jim Croce, Poison by Alice Cooper, All My Love by Led Zeppelin, All Shook Up by Elivs, All the Single Ladies by Beyonce, Horse with No Name by America, Annie's Song by John Denver, Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, Anything for My Baby by Kiss, Baby Love by the Supremes, Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie, Battle of New Orleans by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Michele by the Beatles, Night Fever by the Bee Gees, Up Town Girl by Billy Idol, Black Water by The Doobie Brothers, Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes and Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)  by whomever sang that song. That's not the whole list, but, just enough to give you an idea.

I'm listening to the song 'I'm Your Puppet' right now. It turns me on, sometimes sexually but more in the broader sense of being turned on as in feeling intrigued, alive and ready to explore the limits (in a safe and fairly moral manner) of what that means. And, here is the thing: I could often go either way, if I respect the person; and, I couldn't go either way if I do not. To me, that is the main difference between a dominant and a submissive, psychologically. 

Dominant personalities are capable of submission for a cause, for love, because being that strong means being able to bend your knee and retain your self. Submissives can, occasionally, take control in the same manner but they are out of their element and feel like they are faking it, because they are not acting true to their nature. Submission is geared more toward self preservation and dominance is geared more toward public service. Look at history!

FYI: What I speak of is not the same thing as "switching". When a dominant serves, it is by conscious choice and for a definite reason. It is not an emotional or physical need, simply for the sake of feeling that way. 

I, for instance, was a slave for several years, in my youth. It was not because I needed to serve, though I do enjoy doing things for people and giving to them, so I actively enjoyed some aspects of serving.

It was, from the start, because there was a situation wherein persons needed help and the only possible way that they could be helped by myself and the person who brought it to my attention was if he owned me; because, he could not do it on his own and I could not even approach where they were located as a free woman.

Later on, I worked ostensibly as a slave, but, in training other slaves and to me this was a necessity because the other slaves were not being trained well by anyone else and their Master was a very busy man. I also wrote contracts, which was needed, as contracts are very important in some relationships and the slaves were often grossly taken advantage of by people who would pretend to have their best interests at heart and then chide them for daring to ask for anything to be put in the contract that would protect or benefit themselves. 

Later on, I was a wife and then a mother, because, for various reasons, it was necessary. I changed baby diapers, fed them, woke to their beck and call and remained fully dominant, same as I did when I laid out my Master's clothing, cooked his food and served him at his whim.

Besides, I am a woman, I hope you noticed and women are simply not men, nor should  they try to be, any more than men should attempt to be women. It is not naural. Even dominant women are capable of being submissive to some degree to the right man. Even dominant men are capable, for that matter, but, that is a different story. This is about femininity.

Women are softer, more yielding by nature. They are the nurturers and men are the providers. That is nature. The man enters into the woman and the woman opens herself to him. That is nature, too. 

I have no desire to kneel before a bellowing idiot and mostly I have no desire to kneel, concede a point, live by someone else's house rules or anything like that. But, if I met the right man, whom I trusted and respected, that desire might manifest itself, to some degree and from time to time. It is not a lack of dominance, it is that it is female dominance and not male dominance. 

I am a woman, and I thoroughly enjoy being a woman. A very strong, capable, fun, intelligent, weird, sometimes quite silly, mad as a badger burger, sometimes yielding, giving, compassionate, God-fearing, beautiful woman.

Yes, I know some of you would say I am not beautiful. However, you don't know me. I am not speaking of physical beauty, though, really a lot of people tell me that I am beautiful in that way, as well, and they are also people who don't know me, so I shall thank you to understand that I honor their opinion, which they have the right to own.

Anyway, I am older, I have no makeup on, I cannot afford a hair stylist and fancy clothes. Yet, I have wide shoulders, longish legs, brilliant perfectly blue eyes with an almond tilt and asian fold to them, thick hair, high sharp cheekbones and many other fine attributes, all of which shall not be denied due to your love of youth or prejudice against weight gain. 

I shall not deny what I am, when I know I am beautiful, for God made me and I do resemble my mother, father, brother, sisters, daughters and sons who I see and know are lovely to behold. I look in the mirror and I see them, in some measure, reflected back to me,  but, different.  In my eyes is strength and sadness, tiredness and hope, desire for change and a sheen of intelligence. That is enough for me, whatever your opinion.

And, no, that is not just hyperbole. Because, some people used to tell me I was beautiful and some ugly, all through school and I really couldn't tell you, back then, which was true; nor did I much care. But, one day, I gave birth to my daughter and shortly thereafter someone said to me "She is so beautiful." which was completely true. Then, shortly thereafter that, someone said "She looks so much like you." and I checked out the facts and found that to be true, as well. So, then I knew I had to be beautiful, because we look much alike, and she is beautiful.

Now, you know things about me, not just as a dominant, but, as a person. Kindly return the favour if you write to me. I don't need promises and innuendos geared to entice me. I need real conversation, real people and real connections.

I dwell in hope, that if I stay here long enough, I'll eventually meet people who are nice, capable of carrying on a decent conversation and who are here for a better reason than seeking the permission of strangers to be gross.

Well, I just released one of the homeless boys, the more slave-like one, to a good home. Young lady with no man and children to take care of. Hopefully, that'll work out well for the both of them.

Now, here is what I was going to write about this morning. 
Female Dominance. 

Please note this is not Female Supremacy, which is about all women being better than all men and actually being God. I have no interest in Female Supremacy.

Female Dominance is  an explanation of dominance as relates to females who are dominant. It is an important concept. Why?

Because women are not men, they do not think just like men, they are not built like men and they should not degrade themselves, nor be expected to degrade themselves, by any pretence that they are anything other than women.

A man says: 

"I love women. I love dominant women.  I love the heels, the lipstick, the lingerie, the way the woman has of teasing and beguiling to get her way."  

That is not a dominant woman that has just been described, however. It is a woman who is pandering to you, to get what she wants from you. That is done out of fear, greed and/or sloth and a fearful, slothful greedy person is not a strong person. It is also her clothing and accessories. 

When they say "Clothes make the man", there is some truth to that. Yet, this is about dressing to suit the occasion and dignity of the person, not about being worth only as much as your clothes.

The man says:

"I need to feel your strap-on inside me, to know that you have dominated me."

But, a woman is not built that way. If he wants to be dominated by someone who has a penis, he should be dominated by a man! Women are not born to penetrate, they are born to enfold.

So, there are black leather boots with pointy toes, a push up bra, a whip, lipstick, mascara, a strap on which is representational of the power of men; and, a hope  of  a complete lack of self control, so that she will shout at you and kick you around a while? 

Where is the woman in that? Where is the strength?

Where they have common ground is that all dominants should be strong, able to lead, able to exert control over self and over willing others. There should be confidence and an ability to listen, as well as an ability to effect results. 

But, a woman is not a man and should not seek to make herself into one. And a dominant woman is not a submissive women and should not seek to make herself into one. 

Almost everything said or written about dominant women on sites are  based on fantasy of males who are desperate for female attention and who are doing the typical male thing of giving false praise to get what they want.  Or, written by females who wish to control men out of fear and/or hatred. That is not submission and it is not service; that is not dominance and it is not leading. 

A man who truly wants to be in a relationship with a dominant woman should be a man who admires her womanly virtues, those personality traits and stereotypical affects that make the French shout 'Viva La Difference.' and that includes her physical form. And, when he attempts to serve her, he should not be trying to force her into a mold of what dominants should act like and expecting her to learn to think like a man. 

If you want a dominant who thinks just like a man, then find a male dominant.

If you want a dominant who is a woman, then you would do very well to accept her word and learn her ways. Because, it is very insulting when a man tells a woman that she must really mean this, or that she can't really mean that; or when he asks her to perform sexual acts on him as if she was built like a man; or, when he interprets everything she says or does through his man filter and then judges her based on what he knows men would mean if they said it.

A slave or submissive should be turning them mind toward understanding and acceptance of whom and what they serve. So, a male should not be asking "Why does she do that?"  Or "Why do women do that?" in a dismissive manner. He should be asking it, considering it, researching it and coming to understand it.

I am a woman. I have no penis. I will not be using one on you.

I am a woman. I have womanly priorities.

I am a dominant woman. I do not think like other sorts of women and I will not react just like them, either.

Don't judge me by your man-standards or by sub-women standards. Don't, in fact, judge me. Take me at my word and for who and what I am. 

Another missive from the peanut gallery. To whit, a man whose profile hasn't changed in years, who misrepresents himself as a slave in order to trick women into having sex with him, is going all gob shite mad over my allegedly new profile.

The funny thing is, this is the same exact ID I had last time I rejected him. Just because I took a wee break doesn't mean it's a new profile.

And, all you other people with your paranoia need to get over yourself. I have posted more actual information and more photos of my real self than anyone else on here. I have new journal entries or a rewritten profile, often; and, my photos change, as in are updated but still of the same person, often.

Until you do the same, don't even bug me about how fake you think I am. Because, most of you have not changed your profile photo or given new information in over a decade and many of you have at least two, sometimes significantly more, profiles that represent yourself as switch, slave and sub or even dom, switch, slave and sub.

I've never lied about where I am,  how much I weigh, what I look like, my circumstances, my needs or my desires. Yet, the people who are untruthful about all of that are the ones who want to jump down my throat for clerical errors that occurred in an office I'm not working in.

To whit: there are a few profiles I created, and then I canceled to the best of my abilities. Look under 'My Account'. There is a button to click for closing out your account. On the page for closing it out, you have to enter the correct code to prove you are human and serious about it. It says it may take 2 or 3 days to disappear, after that.

Well, I did all that and they are still here, sometimes years later. I've written to Support and asked them about it. Allegedly, many of you reported me for it. But, I am not Support, so, guess what? 

I don't have the power to alter the profiles as I have no access to them. I don't have the power to force Support to delete the profiles. And, I am not Support so I cannot delete the profiles. 

Why waste your time bitching at me about what I am not doing (pretending to be something or someone else) or what I cannot do (act as Support for the site)? Go live your life.  Your approval is not required, requested or particularly welcome.

Finally found a program that will block images on this site, the filthy ones, without blocking all images everywhere or even all images on this site. Though, strangely enough, it left this one photo of a penis, so I guess that was a particularly clean bit of genitalia. lol

There is a man who asks about training long distance, with possibility of relocation later. He said he enjoys financial service, too. That's the short version.

Since he said he enjoys it and all, I set him a task to perform vis a vis proof that he is both willing and able to serve financially and which will show he has skills in listening and obedience.

He is blocked until I know the task is completed. 

Considering the way things usually go, I imagine he will remain blocked; but, I can't help but have that small flame of hope that this one means what he says.

Slaves: must be ready to work, listen and obey in all ways. You will explain your limits, I will read your profile and determine if you are someone worth testing. If you are, you must be prepared to follow orders and prove your existence as well as that you are capable and willing of financial service. If you are not, don't bother contacting me. Yet, don't make assumptions as to what financial service means, either. It is the will more than the actual amount, that counts.

Roommates: Obviously must be in Tucson. Must be willing to serve as a slave while at home and cost is $20 per day, payable upon arrival. No rental agreements will be signed. The $20 is for entering the premises. Anything spent in any other way is by private, separate agreement and does not count toward the roommate fee.

Part time/session slaves may be acceptable, depending on the individual.

Am willing to work with individuals for weight loss goals which involve following my ideas and the purchase of my supplements, for our mutual benefit. 

Am wiling to work with individuals to help them learn how to organize or clean their own home.

Not willing to engage in abuse or any acts which openly inspire lust; nor am I willing to pretend I am a deity or that you are less human than I am. I don't need charades to feel in control.

Romantically, I could only accept someone who knows they are my equal, with a compatible personality and a love of Jehovah. 

My suggestion is that you get proactive and I don't mean for your zits!

There are certain activities that I not only am not into but which I do not want in my life. A simple word search and an interest search can help prevent that from happening. I enter the information in, seek out those who practice them, and block their profiles. 
Now, I won't hear from them, and because their profiles are hidden they will not come up on a search if I decide to look for people who are interested in what I do want in my life.

The word search are for those interests that people have, or do not have, which are not listed under 'Interests' but are on their profiles, such as toilet slaves, K-9, and persons who are BBW or Christian intolerant. 

Many people think this is rude, I know; but, is it really rude to prevent me and those persons from wasting time later? They'll never even know, unless they try to contact me and if they do try to contact me, they'll quickly know the answer. 

Personally, I'd appreciate it if those persons who are prejudiced against BBW's or women over a certain age, etc. would go ahead and do this sort of search. Then, if I wrote to them, I'd know they were not into me, for whatever reason, rather than wasting time talking to them before finding it out. 

Keep that in mind, people who respond to this; because, every time I give this basic piece of advice some few idiots - always the same ones - write to me and tell me they want me to block them. 

Well, I am not here to do your work for you. So if you don't like me, what I have to say, etc. to that point, you block me. I probably wouldn't want to contact you, anyhow. 

Why? Because you fail to realize that BDSM is about strategic relationships and this is strategy, baby!

1. I seek a very rare type of dominant woman.  The dominant woman I seek actually loves and respects her submissive man, and does not humiliate and degrade him.   CHECK
2.   I want my submision to be a precious jewel to you, and for you to treat it as the delicate gift it is. CHECK
3.  I am NOT a worm or a pathetic loser, and do not like to be called that, or anything like that.  CHECK
4.  I want to be loved, and held. CHECK
5.   I want to be a priority in your life. CHECK
6.  I seek a confident dominant woman that does not see being mean, nasty, and evil as dominant traits.  CHECK
7.  I want to be loved for the rest of my life as I will love you.  Potentially: CHECK
8.   I just like to get spanked in a skirt every now and then.   Can you deal with that?  NO. Which is probably why he attacked me, out of the blue, via email and said some truly repugnant things to me. Oddly, he also claimed to be emotionally and mentally stable. 

After all these years, I finally learned something about Pilates that makes it seem more sensible. It's the basic stance, which really works certain parts of the body. 

Many people view the role of dominants as "easy street": no work, just reaping the benefit of others. 
Watching design shows, such as Color Splash, Dress My Nest, Clean House, The Antonio Treatment, may help you understand the truth about the roles of dominants - what role they should be playing in the relationship- because the dynamic is very much like the best of BDSM relationships.

You have the clients who need something but they are not sure quite what; they know they cannot get it for themselves, so they seek out someone who they believe can give it to them.

You have the one who listens to what they think they need, what they can't use or would make things worse, and what they hope for. 

This one, the one who listens, makes the plans, takes their money and orchestrates the actions that lead to them receiving what will work for them - not necessarily just what they thought they needed, but, what can be done with what they have to spend and what they need and what will be best for them in total.

The other ones, after sharing information, put their trust in the designer, follow their instructions, pay for what is needed to be paid for, and end with thankfulness for the results.

Now, you could say that when the designer orders carpenters and electricians to do work, that this is not work. But, what kind of show would i be, with just the carpenters and electricians, doing their thing, without anyone looking at the total situation and understanding what is needed? Or, with only the clients, but, no one to understand their needs and to direct the workers?

The designer is needed. The designer could sit there and tell you their plans for a room and be quite entertaining. However, even though the clients are not needed, they are wanted and enjoyed.

The designer is the master, the clients are the slaves in this analogy.

Just heard from yet another wannabe slave who had no limits at all, except what his Mistress sets for him. Ridiculous!

No limits, s-types? Really?

So, if I wanted to drag you through the Tucson Mall by your hair, stopping every few feet to make you beg to lick my shoes, that would be a'okay with you? Even after the arrest?

If I wanted to make you have sex with the neighbor's dog, you'd feel no regrets? Just satisfaction over a job well done?

And, if I wanted to chop your pelvic floor open with an ax, stand you up on your head and fill you bamboo sticks and flowers, as a vase, that would work for you?

When I decided you only needed one arm and that it costs too much to feed you, so I sliced off your left forearm and braised it in wine sauce for your evening meal, you'd be ecstatic over having found such a wonderful Mistress?

What about the preschoolers I had you run over and then molest as they lay dying? 

Do you really have no limits? Are all those things okay?

Then, I don't want to know you! 

I have limits and one of my limits is firmly to be set against owning a slave who has no sense of morality or self worth, or the worth of others.

I would never do those things, you understand? But, you don't know me, and you don't know that. Be observant, be cautious, and be self aware enough to know what you must have and what would be detrimental to your being, emotional and mentally and physically and financially, so that you know where your limits lay.

The saying "safe, sane and consensual" is not a guarantee; it is  a warning. Look out for those who do not live by it. Hard to do, while trying to falsely impress someone by telling them there is nothing you won't do.  

slave/slāv/?

I like playing dress up with "dollies" and that thrill that comes from positive change. Right now, what I'm most interested in are people who want to serve in all ways, with an eye toward betterment of weight and health.

Need to get in shape, myself; and, this would be a fun way to do it, and a way to make it possible. So, if you'd find someone controlling your eating and supplements, exercise schedule, etc. as a means of you losing weight and you can serve financially (nothing too expensive) in regards to this mutual goal, I have the knowledge.

Let me know.

Mind you, the other things still go (per my journal entry).

And, FYI gentleman and shallow cads alike: If the woman is one that you cannot persuade or should not persuade, she is still someone you could ask after the plans of; or, gee, maybe you could read her journal entries to see if she said anything like how she has the knowledge to lose fat, but, not the money for what she needs and could surmise that appearance does mean something to her, too; but, not so much that she feels she must dress as a leper and yell "Unclean, unclean!" when out in public, just because she has a health condition and has had the sort of lifestyle that encourages weight gain and such things.

I would be incredibly ashamed of my lack of control, if I chose to give up and gain this much weight. But, guess what? This is stress, Fibromyalgia, health issue that can be fixed for relatively little money and with a modicum of attention and listening skills being employed. So, no, I am not ashamed of myself for not having money and therefore not being seen as good enough for you.

I'm ashamed of you for being that shallow. You could have a great Mistress, or a great wife, if you bothered to look into the facts of things and if you prized things such as loyalty, intelligence, kindness, strength over things a plastic surgeon can do. 

I'm not ugly, I'm not old looking, I'm not stupid - I'm just in need of changes to my life. Hmm .. whatever could the desire for slaves be about, then? lol

You know, here is one way in which women tend to have it over men. Men look for a woman that looks right and then hope to alter the personality to suit their needs. This is a good way to work towards being divorced.

Women look for the right personality and then seek to change the looks, through buying the man's clothes and picking his haircut for him, so that he looks socially acceptable for what she needs him to do, such as keeping a job and being a father.

This can make the man feel unaccepted, but, that's only because the man fails to realize that she has already accepted his personality and that is why she is willing to work on those shallow aspects, that matter less to her but more to society.

Men, you need to learn this. Because, guess what? The big-titted fake blonde bimbette who can't figure out how to chew gum and walk at the same time is not going to be a good wife or mother; she is only going to be a good bimbette, until, instead, she becomes an aging clown.

The supreme bitch goddess act is going to wear thin, as well, and go from being a hot challenge to an annoying, unsupportive, unsympathetic female who only takes and never gives.

The woman that pampers and giggles over you 24/7 is going to have to come back to reality, later. There will be jobs or housework or children. 

And, eventually, you are going to want conversation, support, nurturing and all good things that should come from a good relationship with a good woman. 

But, where will your good woman be? She'll be across town, dating someone else, because she is that overweight friend that you dumped as soon as she expressed an interest in you; the one you long for the company of, because she is the only one who understood you; or, she'll be married to the "wrong" (as in not you) man, because now she's beautiful and you want her, but, she's moved on and she no longer wants you and she'll be giving her support and nurturing to him; or, she may be your ex, who used to be beautiful, before you started taking her for granted, started ignoring her, decided to start flirting with the waitress instead of her, thinking that you no longer had to pay attention to what you had, until you ran her down. 

The badly dressed woman with the frizzy hair and extra pounds on her, could probably be persuaded to dress nicer, lose weight, and get a hair cut. n fact, most of them want to, if they could afford it.  The wife could be persuaded to take extra time with her appearance and keep it up, if you gave her a reason to feel there was passion in the relationship. And, the friend could learn to be a lover, if you acted out your love for her, instead of worrying what your other friends will think.

You have to go for what you truly prize in a person, first and then seek out the other things that matter. And, when you are looking for beauty, it's a good idea to learn what the modeling agencies know: it's all bone structure and coloring. Everything else can and probably will be altered as the woman has less stress and more ability to effect the changes.

Don't believe me. Look at the before and after of Ms. Boyle, sometime. She didn't do that for a man. She did it because she now had the money and was seen in public more often and wanted to look better, for herself. 

Think about it.

Is there some fat little sausage of an s-type that would like to embark on a fat loss program together? I have the knowledge, if you have the money. Nothing too expensive, even.

Even better if you are local; but, I could do this long distance if need be.

I am against 'Female Supremacy' which is a concept that teaches that men are unable to govern themselves, that all women are superior to all men, which is completely senseless and contrary to thousands of years of history; it is as hateful as teachings of Male Supremacy.

At its' best, Female Supremacy teaches that by understanding male weakness and manipulating it, one can get their money. This neither empowers women nor dominates men. It's all about shallow, surface level, evil greed, lust, gluttony, envy and man dominating man to his injury.

However, I see nothing wrong with a psychologically dominant person owning or utilizing submissive persons, regardless of what sex anyone is, if it is done by mutual consent.

Dominance should be expressed in a loving, supportive manner. The manifestation of desires of the flesh, psychologically speaking, are inherent of a deeper need of the total person.

One can dominate the flesh through catering to the sexual desires of the slave, and achieve some small measure of control over them; but, in the long run, this has basically the same effect as handing a child a cookie or buying them a toy every time they perform a task for you. It creates spoiled brats, who expect to be rewarded for what they should be learning to do as a matter of course.

One can abuse the flesh and the mind, through ritualized torture and extreme humiliation tactics, and, this has more or less the same effect as beating a child. They may obey, they may fear you, but, there is no loyalty, nor love and you are not helping them to achieve their potential. 

There must be a balance between the use of the body and the mind, when it comes to training a slave; and, there must be a goal. Telling them "Clean" and then beating them for failure to do a proper job is not enough. Either is only making them clean as punishment, as this makes it more work for the dominant, in the long run. Ditto for using them as sex slave while ordering them to clean, at the same time. 
Do you want the floors clean? Or, do you want a sniveling slave, begging for mercy? Or, do you want to get your rocks off? What is your goal? Determine the goal and set your actions, accordingly; and, look for the person who can fulfill your needs.

Currently, I have a young man who helps to pay the bills in some small measure, who cleans. Once he's cooked. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, as he likes to clean and he needed a place to live and is willing to sleep where there is room for him rather than to disrupt the entire household, attempting to take an equal share in the living space. He is not a slave or a submissive, but, he fulfills needs in my life, to some degree.

Back to the psychology. Most fantasies of sexual domination are not really about wanting to be abused. That is why you will see mixed messages on profiles, wherein persons are claiming to wish to be abused, yet, saying they want to be accepted and loved. They say they want to be forced, but, speak of limits that should be respected.

Sexual domination is not about the physical act of sex. It is about the mentality that comes along with being sought out, chosen, and desired. It is the being chased by what you are afraid to walk toward. It is about being given no other choice than to unfold and become yours  true self.

Therefore, sex is not needed in a relationship based on one person's dominance over another. What is needed is not an orgasm, or lack of orgasm, or being whored out, or being forced to perform fellatio or etc.  What is needed is to understand WHY the person wants it done and how to reach that part of them that is aching for some fulfillment; that part of them, however, is in their mind, their spirit, not their genitalia or anus.

It is harder to do, getting a slave to open up as a person, than it is to simply use them; but, in the end, there is greater fulfillment and a greater likelihood of them being a permanent fixture in your life, if you wish it so.

Many persons on this site view BDSM as being about the flesh, or if they take the mind into consideration, it is only its potential for generating dirty fantasies to force the flesh to follow through on. 

Many people on this site spend their time horribly frustrated, unable to find a true BDSM connection, too. Coincidence? 

If you are willing, you can find a deep mental connection that does not rely on the use of tools, special words, specific settings, rituals or costumes. Once you learn how to have that deep mental connection, it will serve you in other ways, such as your romantic life and friendships, your relationship with God, your ability to get along with neighbors,  your parenting skills. It is the job of the dominant person to help lead you to that deeper connection.

Yes, it can be in a relationship that also involves sex, romance, pain play, or many other things. BDSM is neither for or against those things. That is why it can fit into Christian lifestyles or extremely non-Christian lifestyles. It is not about lowering your standards, it is about  determining your needs, desires, beliefs, and then pursuing a life that is based on who you are, what you want, and, as much as possible, only inviting into that life the people who fit. 

Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. These words are all about forms of self control or controlling others who need guidance. Other people use them to also mean things about kinky sex, being cruel, seeking out cruelty; but, in fact, they are not. 

The Marquis De Sade did not actually teach cruelty. In fact, he badly wrote stories about shocking others and acting rudely. Sadism is not about what he wrote about, however; it is about how he purposed a desire and then he ran with it and even jail  and a lack of ink could not stop him. Filthy man, horrible writer, disgusting person in general, but, he knew what he was and he lived his life as he saw fit within the parameters that he was hemmed in by.

He was a libertine. The definition of a libertine is:

Adjective:

Synonyms:

Does this mean that everyone involved in sadism must be devoid of moral constraints? No. Not all libertines flouted all rules. Most did not flout most rules. They enjoyed having a government to run the country, a home life, and many other facets of civilized society. Yet, where it was important to them, they did flout the rules, whether it was for fun or, in fact, for other moral principles that society did not agree with.

Sadism is characterized, primarily, in the phrase "I know I shouldn't, but, I will, anyway." Persons who do not know that they shouldn't are not sadists, they are simply ignorant; because, sadism is a purposeful choice to do what is desired rather than what is morally best.

People who wish to own slaves in a society that teaches it is morally wrong to own slaves are libertines and are sadists. They do not have to wish to hurt the slaves or treat them badly, or force them into ownership for this to be true. It is the simple act of doing something other than what is perceived to be best, by the majority of law makers, law enforcement personnel, or those supporting them.

Masochism is the submissive side of Sadism. Sadism is the dominant side of Masochism. They are exactly the same, otherwise. They are about choosing to live your life in the way you see fit, rather than the way that is prescribed by the society you live in. Pain is not necessary, abuse is not required. 

Bondage refers to slavery and ownership. It can mean physical bondage, such as shackles or mental bondage, through loyalty, or bondage of an apprentice to their Master or the ownership of a slave by their Master. 

Discipline is the art by which one learns to be a better person. It is not punishment, but, punishment can be a part of the total discipline. How discipline occurs depends on what a person's limitations are, what the agreement is, where the desires lay and what one hopes to  achieve.

These are just a few of my thoughts and ideas on certain subjects. Take them or leave them, as you prefer; but, if you want to know about serving me, take them seriously and consider them, as this is also who I am.

"Men are like dogs. It calms them down when they know their boundaries." 

lol  That's a quote from a show. Do you know what show?

Interesting, so, the man who claims to be Christian, who is into ass play and strap ons - oh, and there is the extreme interest in the paranomral and the curiosity on vampirism -finds my post about how I am not interested in using men only for their money, unchristian.

It's unchristian to see people as being of more worth than their wallets? Wow! Thank goodness the man who comments acts,, and wants to commit others, that are directly against the advice in the Bible, is here to self-righteously lead me to salvation.

Not!

Dearest people: 

Men who write to me from too far away, offer to support me financially, then fill an email or two with obsequious b.s. about how I am the most intelligent and thought-provoking woman on the planet, do not intrigue me, thrill me, or even capture more than a slightly-amused attention. Why?

Because, the offer is over-the-top, as are the compliments; they are assumptive about me and they are, basically, calling me a vain gold digger.

What I'm seeking is far more real than that, and, I'd be far more impressed by a man who was totally destitute, who offered to come vacuum my floors, than some disrespectful offer to buy me. 

Slaves do not support their Mistresses. Slaves are the property of their Mistress. And, nowhere in my journal or on my profile, do I say "I need someone to support me financially". I say that there will be financial servitude - not to what degree. Why? Because, I am not in it for the money; so, don't talk to like you know that I am. 

Financial servitude is about:

1) The slave working toward comfort and entertainment for his Mistress

2) The slave having motivation to take pride in their work and further their career.

Both of which are about the slave feeling fulfilled in his slave role, feeling more controlled, more owned.

3) The Mistress seeing and experiencing the fruits of his labor.

4) Reality: Slaves throughout history are primarily used as a means of furthering the income of a family or individual. For some, it was by being hired out and for some it was by laboring to bring in the materials that the family would sell to support themselves.

5) Psychology: It is a fact of life that most men do not value their body or their dignity nearly as much as they value their money. So, if  a woman is to control the man, it is best that she control  his finances. If he retains full control of them, he thinks he is in full control of her. Yes, that can be gotten around, but, it's needlessly hard to do.

6) Reality: I don't have the money to support a slave. Therefore, I need a slave that can at least make a small financial contribution to the household.  I don't object to larger, but, larger is not what I am seeking. My ID says what I am seeking, primarily.

I've been reading about a combination of supplements which allegedly help lose weight. Some of them are things which I need to help control the symptoms of Fibromyalgia, anyway. Something, then, that I'd like to try, for more reasons than one, but, can't afford just now.

I think, cutting everything down to the very basic supplements needed to do what I want/need to do, it would be about $60 per month, to get much, much healthier, in far less pain, and, actually lose weight. 

Or, to say it a different way.

You are a slave wannabe, who likes cooking, cleaning, feels they need discipline through someone who will expect you to live by their rules and can effectively punish you to a proper degree for offenses; you cannot host; you do not want public play, as you don't want friends and family to know; you like cross dressing and hope for strap-on play.

You meet a Mistress who likes to cook and clean but would welcome someone who helps or does it on days when she doesn't have time; she wants to put you on a schedule and give you assigned chores and tells you that she'll keep a running tally of offenses throughout your time with her and punish you at the end of each week by giving you one stroke with a whip or crop for every offense on top of any time outs or slaps or whatever obedience training comes into play throughout the week; she will let you cross dress and pursue strap-on play when you are not with her but will not engage in it herself. 

You have no one to serve right now. Is it really better to continue to wait? Or, might you have some fun and gain some experience with that Mistress? 
The answer is in which part of what you are looking for is most important to you. If you know the cross dressing and strap-on play are the most important factors, don't approach a Mistress who has no opinion or who actively dislikes, hates or has a hard limit against them and beg her to change her mind. Find one who actively likes, loves or lives for them.

But, if rules and service are most important, act accordingly.

Gimme don't get: It's a basic fact of life and here is how it just might apply to you.

Subs come to me, telling me how they cannot find someone who can control them. They say "I need ... " and "I need ..." As in, I need someone who will force me to do this thing, someone who will insult me in this way, I have to have hypnotism, I have to have bondage... 

Most of them have little or no experience, just their own thoughts. Yet, they come to someone who has been where they are (inexperience and willing to serve), who has decades of experience in leading others, and telling them what must happen, what is real, what is the only acceptable and true form of submission that they can give because only these certain activities and sets of word count as real dominance. Or, so they say.

Or, they say that they do not fit my exact criteria, so they could not serve me in any way, even though we have over 10 points of interest and we haven't even begun to properly talk yet. Now, with some of them I know what it means. It means "You're fat and I don't want to have sex with you." But, for others, what it really means is more like "I'm afraid that  you want more than I can give, so I won't try." or "I'm afraid I want more than you can give, so I won't settle for something when you can't give me everything."

What's wrong with something, though? What's wrong with being less demanding, and spending some time having fun, getting experience, while you are, otherwise, not engaged in a BDSM relationship? 

Getting together with someone, initially, is not like getting married, you know? It's like starting to date. You meet, you learn things, you play, and as you go along you decide if there is a fit and if this fit is more about friendship, mentorship, romance, or what. Then, once you know that, you decide if you are gong to stay together for a while or not at all, whether you want to be lovers or you want to be chaste together, or ... 

In other words, when you meet someone, don't look for perfection. Check for what you absolutely must have and what you absolutely want to avoid, and some indication that the person wants somewhat of the same relationship you do and then just take  a chance and meet them. 

I am interested in a full time slave, who is live in or live  can be very obedient and very slave-like when he is serving me and who can and will willingly engage in some form of financial servitude.

Don't make assumptions, don't add to that, don't subtract from that. Just ask yourself, are you a person who can and who wants to do those things. Are you? Can you? To what extent? With what limitations? 

That's what you should be telling me. Not your fears, not your demands, but, where you can serve me and in what way. Or, you should be asking. 
"Ma'am" you could say "I am seeking a LTR, a marriage, with a woman who likes cross dressers. I can see that this is not you, but, in the meantime, would you accept me as a slave and train me to the rules of your house? I would be fully obedient whenever I am with you and I'd even be willing to mostly be obedient other times, but, I would still want my  private life to be separate, to the extent that I could still pursue finding the right LTR for me; and, I could serve you financially, but,only to the extent of buying little necessities for fixing up your home or the gas money needed to fetch things for you from wherever you desire, since I do need money to pay my own bills and to take out women who may fit my needs for a LTR."

Or, "Ma'am, I just want someone who I can come over and visit, who will make me lay on the floor, tied up, and, maybe whip my ass, for hours. That sort of thing. If you'd promise to do that, I'd gladly do some electrical work or yard work for you."

Or, "Please, Mistress, I can't serve you financially, directly, but, I could bring groceries over and cook you a fabulous dinner, if you'd be willing to allow me to eat out of a dog bowl, at your feet." 

Or .. .whatever .. so long as it fits in with what you've seen and read. Strategy is not about being in a rut, but, about thinking of possibilities and seeking opportunities and BDSM is all about strategy. So, don't demand everything you want, but, seek the opportunities that will get you at least some of what you need.

Was on my profile:

When I post these in my journal (my old profiles) it means I found they failed to get a salient point across, but, they still have merit in other ways;

What my profile used to say:

Fair warning: I am so tired of people wasting my time that, from now on, if someone writes to me making offers that sound fake or making offers that have nothing to do with what I'm looking for, I"m blocking them, marking their message as the Spam it is and deleting it, unanswered.

Read my profile. Only write to me if you are truly interested in what I am looking for OR if you have something pertinent to say that is not some scam artist crap offer. I don't mind talking to people on a purely friendly level, but, I will not be talking to the idiots who just want to screw with me. T hank you for listening.

Also, please note that everything I have written below is in regards to slave owning. It is not that I am against romance. I am, in fact, very much for it; but, I consider slave owning and romance to be mutually exclusive types of relationships. Though, they can contain many of the same elements. 

I have a passion for celibacy and am seeking chaste male slaves to serve me in strict obedience. My lifestyle is laid back, leaning more toward comfortable home life than clubbing and carousing, and I am seeking real day to day BDSM living, which means it is usually much mellower than is to be found in play and occasionally spikes into the truly weird.  But, make no mistake about it, hard work, gifting and tributes, objectification, discipline and punishment are all part of the total package.

Think of me more as a Mommy Dom.  I do employ corporal punishment, but, I am more into setting rules, including consequences, time outs, hand slaps for small transgressions, and less into more extreme forms of humiliation or pain play.

My slaves are expected to engage in active self improvement. Recently, I took two street kids (legal adults but young) and trained them to better hygiene, an end to thievery, and both are now looking forward to obtaining gainful employment. They do not wish to continue as slaves, so I am open to allowing others into my life, again.

The slave or slaves I choose, will impress me with their listening skills, obedience, willingness to serve and lack of demanding or arrogant personality. 

The uses I will make of them are , first and foremost, whatever I desire, of course; but, mostly what I desire is a clean house, a quickly answered telephone, paid bills, and the other things that add up to a comfortable, happy life, with a slave at beck and call, when he is not waiting at my feet.

Don't ask me if I will or will not do whatever it is that is not listed. Take me at my word. I am not hiding anything from you, but, neither do I make you any guarantees of anything but that you will be well utilized  in a safe, sane and consensual manner. If you need more than that, then you need someone else and so do I.

If you are full of "should"s and "must"s, vis a vis how a Mistress must dress or undress her slave, how she must punish him, what activities she must perform for or with him, then you are not a slave. 

Slaves can and should make it clear where their personal limits are, what their own desires, likes and dislikes are, as it helps a potential owner decide if they would like to own them; but, slaves do not dictate rules to their owners. 

If you do not like my philosophies, if you do not think you could live under my rules, do not seek to change me. Just say goodbye, politely, and go away.