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Today is...different. Perhaps its the time away from Mistress, perhaps
it has something to do with the intense orgasm i had last night (double
orgasm, after which i collapsed with all my muscles tensed and sweaty),
but today, i felt like a new person. It seems the course im on is
working, and even now, as i write this, i cannot help but have dirty thoughts in my head. Maybe its the lack of sleep, i dont know. I woke up early this morning to go to university with my dad. I was preoccupied most of the day, so there wasnt much room for spare thoughts on the way and during the day. But as soon as i lay back in the car seat on the way home, my brain sprung to life. The car in front had one of those capped exhausts, the one that curved up and has a funny round bit on top. I imagined the car had stopped and this slut had got out to ride on the exhaust, as if it was a dildo. Moaning and arching her back and she fucked it. My dad would sit in his chair in the car, absolutely amazed by the sight which he is viewing. Even now, as i type this, im feeling sweaty and frustrated, is this the return of fun nathalie? only time will tell...
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2 Orgasms each day is really getting me down. I feel like my old wanker self, which is not fun. I just dont feel like im anything at the moment, and each time i have an orgasm, it just gets that much worse. I dont feel energetic, enthusiastic or creative in any way. Has been a bit of a low point in my submission to Mistress Cara. Its starting to affect our D/s relationship. Still it is a task i will continue to do, as my inner submissive knows it is best to please my Mistress. Anyway, ill reflect on whats happened the past couple of days. First of all i would like to congratulate kate for joining the sister ranks of Mistress Cara's prestigious stable. I hope you enjoy your stay and will do so for the months to come. Since your the only sister ive been allowed to talk to this week, you have been a wonderful friend and sister. Nothing else has really happened this week, other than the usual interesting conversations i have with Mistress. I would just like to say, before i explore the more negatives sides of this week, that it has always, and always will be a pleasure and joy to serve You. Right now to talk about the past 2 days. I suppose there will always come a time every now and again where a slave will get jealous and turn to his selfish side. The side that wants to please himself. It hurts, i wont deny it, that i would even consider doing what i did, and in retrospect, i REALLY regret it. I was feeling a bit neglected, as Mistress was dealing with new slaves to add to Her stable, even if She had been kind enough to speak with me that day anyway. I tried to change this feeling, by making Her miss me. It is true, i will be a bit busy this weekend, and may not have as much time to devote to Mistress as i usually have, but what i told Her was that i would be away for the entire weekend, in the hope that She would feel upset that i was gone, making me feel needed. The response i got was not what i had intended to get, and made me feel worse, so i tried to fill the gap in me that was getting bigger and bigger by asking a question, that really, no slave should ask, as it doesnt really help at all and usually just pisses off Mistresses. "What can i do for You this weekend?". Of course, if i was away, there isnt much i can do, and this was my response when She asked what i could do. She put me in my place and told me to not ask this question again. I was left, as She signed off on msn, first of all wondering why i did, what i had just done, and also would She be ok in the evening, would She be upset and whether Her partner would have to come to the rescue once again. I was truly ashamed at what i had done. I didnt sleep well that night, i never do when ive upset Her, its an instant bodily reaction, like a punishment. When i went on msn the next morning, i made my apologies and explained everything. Being a compassionate and understanding Mistress, She told me what i should have done, and explained what it is i should be doing. I wont forget it and will do my best in the future to think only of helping Her. I apologise for what i did Mistress.
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Double orgasms each day is difficult, took me several attempts this morning to do it. Not sure if i will ever go back to the way i was. Only time will tell.
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Other than the new improved slave rejuvination system (copyright Mistress&slave2007), what have we been up to this week? Yesterday we discussed how boring i was becoming with my chastity and decided to work on new ideas to spice things up. We came with quite a few things, questions and experiments that needed to be tested. How often would i need to cum to have a dry orgasm? Something i have wanted to try for a while, but obviously chastity does interfere with this. I wanted to know if a dry orgasm hurts, what it looks like, what it feels like, and was kinda curious what the dangers are of doing it (though i dont think that would stop me). Was also curious how small my balls would look afterwards. I would be more girly with my teeny weeny and small balls. The thought of doing orgasms over and over again, inspired a new game.
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This morning and for the next 30 days, i will be doing something a little different for my Mistress. I have become used to chastity and to be honest, it has become second nature to me, like i eat food, like i shower every morning, chastity is a part of who i am now. This of course is not entertaining for Mistress. There is only a half week period where i am horny and sexual excited because of this, and unless Mistress said otherwise, or the pain became too much, i could go on forever without cumming. All in all, its boring for Mistress. She preferred me when i needed to cum, when i would beg to cum, when i would crave sexual attention and when an orgasm would be on my mind all the time. It never occured to me before, but we came up with a brilliant plan. To change me back to how i was, i will be cumming twice a day for the next 30 days, completely the opposite of chastity, in the hope that when i stop, i will crave to orgasm again. Today was my first, it was actually kinda strange. I sat there for a minute thinking, right, how do i do this again? I am used to edging, so i used that technique, but instead of holding back, i just let myself go over the top, spraying cum all over the floor. I quickly licked it up, as a slave should. Its obvious to say once a guy orgasms, his hormones drop, which is why i hate having them, other than protecting my chastity achievements. Not because i dont feel the need to cum anymore, but because you have to drag yourself back and continue serving. I love to do this, but after an orgasm it can often be difficult, which means this month, aswell as the weeks that follow, will be difficult for me. Saying that, i look forward to the results, as i know they will please Mistress, and nothing is better than the feeling of pleasing Her :)
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3rd night of something different. I have been edging every night in different ways for the past 3 days, and during the day, Mistress pushes me as far as i can in the hope that i will become a better slave. This slut needs fine tuning and to correct her mistakes, and this seems like the best way to do it, i nearly cried yesterday, i can only imagine that today will be worse. Last night i was allowed to reflect on the day, and was allowed to edge to one of my age play fantasies, as Mistress Cara's toddler. The effect was quick and i was on edge within minutes. My balls still sting today, i can only imagine it will get worse as the week progresses. I am completely and willingly in Her hands, to be shaped how She wishes.
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Its the second night in a row that Mistress has had me on an intense course of edging. This exhausted slut could not do much last night. Like yesterday, she is too edge in a position and manner chosen by Mistress, checking in ever hour with Her. Yesterday i was on edge most of the time. I found it very difficult to entertain Mistress, due to this fact and had to stop several times to avoid failing Her. She eventually decided enough was enough for this slut, and sent me to bed. For last night, i was to try a new position. Mistress thought it would be amusing if i were to have sex with someone. I confessed during the day to wanting to sleep with my mother and brother. She was therefore kind enough to let me practice my technique in bed. I was to stay on all fours and hump the sheets, until i edge and then repeat the process. Due to the intense experiences i had during the day and the night before, this was very difficult. It was only after a few tries at this position that i had to stop. So i did, and turned on my bag and edged for half an hour, using my sensitive nipples, it felt wonderful, but sapped all the energy from me. Mistress knows how to make me suffer and i thank Her for this. Every ten mins or so, She would send a text message that would make what was already difficult, even worse. I conceeded in the end and begged permission to go to bed. I was dissapointed with myself. Which is why today, i have asked permission for Mistress to not be soft on me. I want to be broken down even more, and to be trained further, so that i can be on edge all the time, yet also be able to control it. This will no doubt please Mistress. She has even promised if im good, She will make me cry :) I cant wait for today to get started, and have already had my cold shower to prepare myself. On top of all this, i was allowed the privilege to continue to work on my hypnosis, reinforcing the suggestions nightly, in the hope that eventually Mistress will be able to put me under with Her voice. This i will continue to do till friday.
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Who had a good nights sleep last night? Not i :) . This is not a bad thing though, in fact, last night was incredible, and instilled a new sense of servitude to my Mistress in me. Yesterday was the 1.5 week mark of chastity, not exactly too impressive, i know, and is quite easy to get to these days. But after 1.5 weeks, this slut becomes frisky, sexually excited all the time and usually annoys hehehe. So after realising this, She set me a most thrilling task. I do edge at night usually for Her. It just seems right. Tonight She took me to a whole new level of edging. The task was to first look at the pictures She had sent me. Each featured a female slave in a different bondage position. I imagined that slave was me, restrained in all these positions which i loved the look of. My clit went nuts over them, it loved them so much. I was already aroused by this sluts open window, which always makes my breasts so firm and makes my nipples so pert. Going from cold and horny, to warming up and nearing edge, was a feeling i have rarely experienced. The thoughts those pictures put in my head only made it worse. But i wanted it to be worse, i wanted to feel on edge, my slut body craved it so much, i couldnt stop myself. After the warm up, i was to edge in a position i had never tried before. I was strapped face down on the edge of a table, arms stretched out, face to the side, and legs spread wide to reveal my swollen clit. This slut had no clue how difficult it would be. What she craved for a few minutes ago seemed like a mistake now. I tried to maintain myself, but after 15 mins, i was already in agony. I wanted to stop, my balls were swelling up and down, my clit doing the same. Half an hour went by and i was desperate to stop. I would have done anything. I sent Mistress a text at this point. But She wanted to take me further. An hour, She insisted. I kept going, tossing and turning as i edged over and over again. One by one, people used me, men women, not even Dommes/Doms. I was just a fuck toy, for what seemed like forever. At 1:30 i finally collapsed and fell asleep. An hour and a half of edging, non stop. I was reminded at 2 of what i should be doing, but this sluts body couldnt handle it. I fell asleep instantly again, and woke the next morning. My balls ache, my clit throbs and my nipples feel raw. What i felt last night has not even worn off. I wonder how much more this slut body can take. I want to be stretched, moulded, pushed to my limits, while at my peak. I want to feel pain, for my cravings, i want to feel what it is to be a slut.
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Does your owner allow and encourage you to pursue your own dreams/goals? This question involves 3 stages of the training and D/s relationship. At first, You are beggining to know the Domme or Dom. You meet online probably and talk for a bit, you begin to learn the rules and a bit about the Domme. Chances are at this point, you have the excitement of finding a new Domme and like the idea of being Dommed, but probably dont feel as if She completely owns You at this stage. At this point, You are free to pursue Your own dreams, and do so without guilt or regret in doing so. Stage two comes along. You feel closer to the Domme, She has officially taken You on board. She knows you know what to do and what She likes. You have accepted Her terms and spend lots of time together. A lot of subs, i feel at this stage feel constricted, as the desperately try to please their Mistress and pursue THEIR goals and dreams. At this stage, you dont know exactly what you want in the future, and may even not mind if that Domme dismissed you. Still this stage can frustrate a lot of subs, who do feel some connection with their Domme and start to feel that they belong in this position. Although it may seem like a big leap, most of stage three develops in less than a few weeks. At this point, you are free to explore your own dreams and desires. Why? because Your dreams and desires are now exactly the same as Hers. Your only though is to amuse and please Her. You know that what She wants is what You want.
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I'll admit that my journals this week have been brief, and do not really do justice to the events of this week. A lot has happened, a lot of well, without exaggerating, life changing moments. A lot of you out there will know how it feels to meet your Mistress for the first time in real life. To look into their eyes and stand next to them. To sip coffee and laugh together. It went so fast, 4 hours seemed more like half an hour. When i jumped in the car to drive back to my place, my mind was on the go, thoughts zoomed through my head. I was shell shocked almost, couldnt believe it was over, but shell shocked in a good way. And as i stared into the windscreen, eyes glazed over, i kept looking over all the memorable moments of the day. These thoughts dont come easy to me, and i usually freeze up, but i will take it slow and just work my way through the day. First impressions are always important i feel, and this was no different, so i wore my favourite jeans and shirt, and matching sneakers. We met in a coffee shop in town. I was nervous as i walked up the stairs, and looked around to find Her. She was sitting in a corner with the family, sipping coffee. I felt confident as i walked over, smiled and sat down. We conversed for a while, as i finished my coffee. I was still feeling confident and words flowed out easily. I was even fine as mum talked briefly with them, they seemed to get on great. Mum left and i finished my coffee. We didnt have any plans really, Mistress had to pick up a skirt, which She found earlier. So we did that first, we walked to the shop and we waited as Mistress selected it and brought it to the desk. We had a small talk, but for some reason my conversations skills dissapeared. I made a few smiling faces and laughs, but could not think of things to say. This was how the day went most of the time, still despite this, it felt amazing to be with Mistress and the other two. Although i didnt have much to say, my emotions were a feeling of happiness. I was content and happy simply following Her around from shop to shop, occassionally saying a few words with Her partner. I felt guilty that i could not say anything, as they had taken the time to come and meet me, the least i could do was be social, but the conversation topics that usually spring to mind so easily werent there. When we got back to the car, it was nice to sit back and eventually i did start talking with them. But just listening to the music and the two of them talking in the front made me smile. I have never felt so much with so few words, it was, like i said, a memorable day. I enjoyed the girl shops, which despite my gender, i could have a look round, without worry. I would catch a glimpse of all the different boots which i loved so much and all of the pretty fabrics. In la senza, i would eye the various pieces of lingerie, not only wondering what i would look like in them, but what Mistress would look like in them. The mind of a slut i guess You could say. I know i kept to myself quite a bit, i didnt say much, and some would say i was antisocial, but i have had a life changing day, that i will always remember. The day i first met my Mistress in real life. We are meeting up again, so i must have done something right hehe.
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To make up for last night, i will write a bit more in the journal today. Today, was special for me, and i think im right to say it was special for Mistress. We finally met face to face in a local town, to have a wonderful day out. The kinky side was left to the side for the day, as Mistress (and i do agree) felt that it was too early. Real life is a big step for me, something which i havent done before. I should explain, although it is hard to believe at times, when i go out with friends, im very social, usually meet new people, and get latched onto as i talk non stop. I am not saying that my Mistress, and family are people i dont get along with, but for some reason i held back today, and was a little quieter than usual, especially at times when it was just me and Mistress. I should say a lot quieter. But i know, that come next time we meet, i will feel more relaxed and will no doubt be my loud and social self again, perhaps with a glass of Pimms in hand. I thoroughly enjoyed today, despite a few ditsy errors that this slut made. I wont mention them, Mistress knows what they are. i do feel the guilt badly and so i should do, but i have done all i can to help in the situation and re-embursed them with the money for fuel. I felt submissive today, and it was nice to walk around with Mistress in all the shops, eyeing out boots and clothing, and even having lunch with them. It was a memorable day, and i had a fantastic time. Cannot wait for next weekend
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Another day, another exciting moment with Mistress. She never ceases to amaze me. I mean this of course in the nicest way, She is a wonderful person whom i respect completely. Today i went into an exam. She sat with me the whole time, reassuring me and helping me. On the car ride home, She captured my mind, and when i closed my eyes, and laid back in the car seat, i imagined i was riding a sybian, as the car when over the bumps in the road. Pure bliss, i could not have as for a better morning and part afternoon. When i came home, She was there to embrace me, and was genuinly interested in everything that had happened that day. I was of course keen to tell all. We were both in a frisky mood, but soon moved on to more strange topics, such as sex change. We then neatly ended the day, discussing the good and bad things of my hypnosis training. I will be once again reinforcing the triggers in my brain. I have worries about meeting Her, and it not working, we shall have to wait and see...
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Today was an interesting day, fun aswell. I spent the morning with
Mistress and my sister slave, paula. We exchanged laughs and stories
and the usual banter that leaves us talk for hours and hours. Sadly, my sis had to leave early, leaving Mistress and i. She never fails to excite this little slut. Her words or even the mere thought of Her triggers off the hormones which stir around inside, creating sensations i could never feel with anyone else. We had a small session on cam, where she continued to excite me, and in return i showed Her just how much of a slut i really was. Teasing my nipples and doing a nice little striptease, which despite its amateur appearance, i thoroughly enjoyed. I also showed Her what my last orgasm looked like, a mind blowing experience which forced me to arch my back, thrusting my hips forward and screw my face up. There was plenty of entertainment for Her to enjoy. We continued to talk about my foot fetish. Mistress told me a few of Her secrets for captivating the mind. The use of trigger words, which tap in to your desires and leave you helpless at Her feet. Such a skilled Mistress She is, and never fails to impress me as She reels me in, piece by piece. The thought of trigger words gave me a brain wave. I had tried hypnosis again, i went deeper than ever before, diving head first through Her domain. Let me just tell You a little bit about how it feels, at least for me. Hypnosis is a very personal experience i feel. You start off, your heart is quite active, doing what it does best and keeping you alive, you fall through stage one, like its a light nap, comfortable and relaxing, yet aware of everything around you. Stage two, You are drawn, still aware of everything, yet fixated on the darkness that starts to pour in, clouding irrelevant thoughts. Stage 3, You fall into Her domain, you fixate solely on Her, the world around you dissapears and your heart slows down to that of a sleeping person. My first attempt at suggesting myself was done at this stage. Now, bare in mind, i have only gone deeper once before, and it scared the hell out of me. Going deeper, your mind melts, your body goes into overtime, and despite wanting to be hypnotised, when you do it alone, you have to make sure your brain holds on stays in charge. At lot of things can happen at this stage when your on your own. What happened the first time, happened the second time, but i managed to control it. My heart pounds harder than it ever has before, like it was trying to break through my chest. You sweat and are ceceptable to panicking, you will feel warm and dizzy, as the blood rushes through you at at least twice the normal rate. I remained calm this time, allowed my body to do what it does, and focused on Mistress, focused on the suggestions and focused on the trigger. Thinking clearly and to the point. After what seemed like 15 mins, i awoke again. I felt sleepy and slightly sick, but i knew i had done something for Her and that made it worthwhile. When She heard i had done this, She was enthusiastic to try it out. She said the trigger word, and it all went black and fuzzy. I could see Mistress on the screen, and focused on the questions She gave me. My sole task was to give Her anything She wanted, information, opinions, anything. Those few.... well i guess it was minutes, maybe half an hour, who knows, were hazy, i dont remember any of it, my next memory was Her counting to 5 to bring me back. I looked back on what we had talked about in the message history and was shocked to find that i had told Her THE secret. The one i tell no one, but my family. She was understanding, which i cannot thank Her enough for. She plans to take this further. When i meet Her, She might use the trigger word, and She wants to try it in the company of my sis aswell. I am looking forward to it, despite the fears i have about giving up personal secrets. Im an open book to Her now, willing to divulge anything, and this is the way it should be...
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Well, i have completed my task. I enjoy Mistresses tasks, the get me excited, and there is a real motivation to finish them. This one however, was different. Without going into all the nitty gritty, i went to a doctor, because of an infection. My chastity, it seems, was having unwanted affects. Having an orgasm, according to the research i have done, cleans out the tubes which lead to the testes. Not having an orgasm, can on occassion clog up these tubes, as excess sperm slowly dribbles down them. For some reason this creates an infection, not quite sure how that works, but its not nice. I am now on antibiotics for it, and it seems to be working. Edging that was once slightly painful, has subsided and i can once again practice my nightly routines. Upon hearing that the doctor suggested i ejaculate, Mistress ordered that i should tonight. For me, even though i have a submissive edge, orders are orders, regardless of whether i am a slave or not. My first gut feeling was, do i really have to? Most people would happily like an orgasm. Its like a reward for them. I, on the other, felt it was a punishment for not taking care of my body properly. Yes i know, my feelings are quite the reverse of what people may expect for a male sub. I dont ask for material objects, such as photos, i enjoy edging over actual orgasms, i love nipple play, i love torture of most kinds, and i worry like a little girl. So in a nut shell, i am messed up, but i get my kicks from it, and enjoy the pleasure it gives Mistress. Nothing else makes me happier. I also have a fascination with seeing how long i can go without an orgasm. Perhaps my ego has gone to my head, and i do apologise if it sometimes does, but after my big chastity accomplishment, i just cant stop, i want to push myself more and more. I do feel sometimes like it is all i have left to give. The rest of it i have already let go of, and given to Mistress. The physical side of our Ds relationship is not as prominant as the mental side. Yes i edge nightly and every few weeks perform for Mistress on my cam, but She captures me so much more mentally. When i recieved some pictures of Her yesterday, i will admit they aroused me, and i have told Her this, but my brain was more focused on stuff like: what was She thinking about in that photo? How should i respond, as Her slave if i was there? What are Her eyes doing?. Eye contact is important. One bewitching stare can make You shiver, make You turn into jelly. Eye contact is the key to control. When i looked at those photos, i could not help but stare deep into Her eyes. The voice would enter my head and i would feel Her presence, toying inside me. The mental service extended to other things. I was meant to meet up with Mistress on the saturday last. Instead of thinking, will She look sexy? Will She touch me, or make me do something naughty? I will admit, i offered an opinion as to the type of clothes She could wear, not for my benefit, but for Hers. I want Her to feel sexy and i want others to see She is sexy, the way She deserves to be looked upon as by Herself and others. Although i will no doubt enjoy the thrills that physical service will bring, the thoughts will continue to flow, as Mistress will capture my mind. Mental slavery, to me, is true slavery. Materialistic and physical aspects do not capture the mind as much. These however are only a mere slaves feelings, but sharing these thoughts, if they do not help anyone else, may hopefully give Mistress a better understanding of myself. Your loyal handmaiden and slut, nathalie x
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Had a little thought this evening, while watching an episode of House. Now this may offend some people, this is not my intention, please dont take it this way. If it does offend, ignore it. Anyway, it continues on from what i was talking to Mistress about today. My purpose in life, and passion. There are many things i like doing, many hobbies. Going out with friends, anything to have a good time etc. Everyone has these, and for some, it is a reason for living. Now contreversial as it may seem, some believe that love is a reason for living. However, some will go through life, marry, have kids, and do what everyone else does. They find though, that all this comes to an end, leaving you with nothing to do. The mid life crisis begins. I have a non-existent love life at the moment, and although this may seem sad to some people, it doesnt bother me now. I never lost my virginity and i never experienced being very physical as far as most men go by my age. Some may say i have not lived life to the fullest so far. I however am happy where i am. See your not living till you have found something, a passion you have. Love dies these days, the spark fades, the once amazing sex life sours. So, as my parents did, they try to spice things up. They bought new toys, a hot tub, a few kinky pieces of clothing not so discreetly mailed to our house. They are trying to fill a hole that was once full. They had a passion. Im not trying to be critical or pessemistic, and i may be wrong for the rest of you out there, but for my parents this is sadly the case. As mean as this may sound, i dont want to end up like them. I want a passion, something to live for that wont fade and force me to buy a sports car and start wearing trendy clothes again at age 42. House, to most, may seem like a sad, pathetic man, who has no spark, no passion in his life, but in this episode, it is clear, his passion is to save lives and solve puzzles, regardless of ethics or morals. He secretly indulges in all of it. The jazz musician in this particular episode, ordered a DNR (do not resusitate), because he couldnt bare the thought of not being able to carry out his passion for playing his trumpet. These people, although they may look sad, have a reason to live, something to live for. So what does this have to do with me? My passion, regardless of whether i get another girlfriend, have sex, buy a house, get married, have kids, buy a sports car, my passion will always be my Mistress, and that will never change. I am living a life with a purpose, and could thank Mistress enough for giving me this gift. It is truly a pleasure to serve beneath Her. My future will take on a new path, away from what my family and possibly my brother are heading to. My future has a purpose.
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For those of You wondering where the next chapter in the memoirs is, it is in the making, but right now i have to talk about something taht is too good to keep to myself. This afternoon i learned something that has changed my perpsective on slavery completely. I wont detail exactly what, as a lot of it is just between me and Her, but i will share about an hours worth of banter. I woke this morning, slightly well...doubtful, of so many things actually. Without causing too much stir among the ranks, i was considering giving in my collar. Look back on it now, that would have been drastic and would have upsetted a few people, aswell as me. My day didnt get much better, as i had to visit a very annoying dentist, who intterogated me about my brushing techniques. I came out with sparkly white teeth, and evil thoughts of strangling her with a piece of dentil floss. I do have good oral hygeine, but she was making it out to be a matter of life and death if i didnt floss. Fun. Anyway i came back home and went online, slightly upset to not find Mistress online, as i do miss Her, but She soon popped up and i was happy to be graced with Her presence. Nothing pleases me more than She. I was (and this is no exaggeration) a bit of a bastard and very unsubmissive to begin with. I just wasnt in the mood to be, who knows why, it confuses me thinking about it now. Anyway, we talked, and taught me several things in the process. We had a serious conversation, which moved on to a not so serious, but very arousing session, and ended with Mistress finishing Herself off with Her amazing toy chest. Ill skip to the meaning of all of this, as no doubt all of You subs know what it is like to have a session. I learned once again to be submissive. To not feel submissive, is simply to deny who you really are (would Mistress not act dominant? i dont think so, She embraces it and uses Her true self to the full), and denying who i am is to live in ignorance. I therefore pledge to not deny who i am, and to cut the macho bullshit that i came out with today. I am submissive, and from this day forward, will look up, to see my Mistress, as i kneel at Her feet, knowing who i truly am. After that session, removing my collar seemed unthinkable, to someone who is born to serve. I am a submissive, its who i am and what i want to be.
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Having a rough evening, after having to entertain 3 loud visitors, my head hurts. Anyway i cant sleep, and want to share my latest thoughts with everyone, most importantly Mistress. I suppose i could shut up, be a good slave, and never say whats on my mind, and god knows it would be a lot simpler if i did, but im me, and i feel, in any relationship, communication is a must. I'll admit im complicated and at times bratty, whiney and hard to reason with, but i know that no good will come of keeping in all my thoughts. My main concern is my recent lack of submissiveness, which only returned for about an hour today and then quickly dissapeared again, whats happening to me? I suppose if this is a phase, it could be that im getting bored of the lifestyle, but i know this is right for me, it cant be a phase. This is who i am, and it will stay that way. Ive often thought today, do i need a break? Ive often wondered if i need one, and have at times asked, but find after 1 day, i come back, because i miss Her too much. Being with Mistress, well, makes me comfortable. Its like that little blanky that you never let go of when you were a child. I often think, why dont we have a break, but still keep in contact, keep it vanilla, but often find we end up talking about the lifestyle. Do i make things complicated, no matter how hard i try? Most of her stable shut up and do as told, or express things that dont create issues, so why do i do it? how am i different? I will never know, though that wont stop me thinking about it tonight. The window is open tonight, and the sheets are pulled down...
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Well this is the first part in a series I will be posting each weekend, hope You like it.
Memoirs of a House Pet: Introduction.
A complete stranger to
the lifestyle I now lead, might ask one simple question: why? It's a
question I often ask myself, and when a lifestyle becomes second nature
to You, You do often look back and think, what was the appeal to begin
with? Some may say it was just pure curiosity, and they may be right.
Anything new is often exciting to explore, You want to find out what
its all about, even if at this point, You would never consider actually
joining in on it Yourself. This is how i felt quite a few years ago. I
dont remember exactly when i first took a glimpse into what is called
the BDSM lifestyle, but my first impression was why would someone want
to take part in that? Why would someone be excited by being beaten, or
wearing leather bondage gear? It seemed mysterious at the time, and
despite my objection to what at the time seemed like a bizarre world,
my natural curiosity got the better of me and i took my first steps.
I
dont know if this is how the lifestyle is discovered by everyone, I'm
sure it isnt the only way. Some are born into it; submissive or
dominant by blood, some are seeking a lifestyle that compliments their
personality (particularly i find this applies to dominant females and
males who lack confidence) and happen to stumble across this, some are
searching for more exciting relationship or sex life, and eventually
find that BDSM gives them a thrill they have never experienced before,
and some, like me, are naturally curious and have a drive that pushes
them to learn more, to explore the unknown, no matter how different and
bizarre it may seem at the time. Like all things, people learn at their
own pace and find things that are personal to them. It is this complex
lifestyle that gives them the opportunity to find something that fits
into their life and make it meaningful.
That is what is so
special about this lifestyle, it can be personal and special to
everyone. Everyone can join in, and those who do not fit in the
stereotypes of mainstream society are still welcomed. In fact, the less
normal You are, the more interested people with be in You. Not in a
behind the back, look at him sense, but in an open, inviting sense, an
opportunity to share and learn from eachother. You find that, because
this is such a shunned and secret lifestyle, the people involved in it
come together and share what they know. I find that in a normal
relationship, the one that we would call vanilla (plain and at times
boring, unless it is spiced up with a chocolate swirl, or strawberry
topping), there is one way, and that is the way it should be.
Stereotypes form, men should have big penises and should be cocky (no
pun intended) and care free, women should be perfect and blemish free,
sex should be done in secret and hidden desires for kinkyness are
strictly taboo.
Openness and acceptance is rare today.
Although we may all say we dont mind what others do, we all have our
differences, and often feel at times that things should be a certain
way. Yes we all do have some of these, but i feel those who at least
embrace and live a life, whether secret or not, that is different from
mainstream and "normal", have learned that differences are allowed and
should make You feel special, unique and most of all, free. You need to
feel freedom to do as You wish, regardless of whether it is right or
wrong. These so called standards will only hold You back from
experimentation, doing as You wish and milking life for all it is
worth. It is for this reason, that i will be sharing everything i know,
feel and have experienced in the short space of time. From the very
beggining, to where i am now. Feeling free to do as i wish, restraints
can no longer hold me back. I do what i want to do, and am happy to
tell others who i am, in the hope that they too explore their deepest
desires, and free themselves.
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I would like to take the time now, to apologise for the last 2 days. I was away at a wedding, quite far from here. Despite this, my behaviour was unacceptable and will take a moment to detail exactly what i did. I went away on short notice to the wedding, and did not tell my Mistress, or any of Her stable. I was lost in the moment, and did not even send a text message. Mistress sent me a text which i did not reply to. I came back today, unaware of what i had caused in my absence. I was upset to hear I had caused both my Mistress and one of Her loyal subs pain, and made them upset, as they worried over my absence. I have taken this to heart and will make sure next time that whenever I cannot be here with Her, no matter how small the time, I will make sure that She knows where I am and what I am doing, and for how long I will be gone. I apologise Mistress, this slut will not dissapear again.
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Part 1: The Hot Tub-
Slut felt
the ripples of water grow and splash against him. She had been lying peacefully
in the hot tub, and wondered what the disturbance was. It was mum, who had
slipped into a baby blue bikini and was now sliding the first of her long smooth
legs into the water. Slut sat up and admired the sexy body submerge into the
water across from him. Mmmm nice and warm”, Mum said, before playfully
splashing me with water. I playfully flicked water back, and she giggled,
before lying back, pushing her 32D breasts up; the thin bikini barely hiding
the small bumps of her nipples. I sunk deep into the water, till it was up to
my neck, and closed my eyes again. But it wasn’t long before a pair of legs
pushed against her clit. It came as a shock, and she nearly choked on the water
as she panicked and splashed about. Mum didn’t say anything, just laughed as I
composed myself once more. Perhaps it was a mistake, and I overreacted. An
awkward silence filled the air, as I watched mum, aching to know if she would
do it again. Sure enough, the legs returned to my clit, this time gently
rubbing up and down it, creating a slow friction, which made my clit grow. She
didn’t stop as she felt the small clit get taller and taller between her feet.
Slow, soothing rubs soon turned into quick strokes, until I was fully erect.
Foot wanked by my own mum. “What a dirty slut” the voice inside me said. I
pushed mum away again, and closed my legs, ashamed about what had just
happened. “Don’t worry” mum said, as a reassuring hand slid up my thigh, gently
prying my legs apart once more. “I’ll be gentle”. A voice raced again through
my head “your virginity is mine slut!”, and I jumped back. “No, I cant”, I
said, but mum was determined, and soon I was spread once again. The angel said
yes, but the devil said no. My loyalties lie with the devil, and I closed my
legs shut. “Good slut” the voice said,
and I smiled. An unhappy mum slouched down into the tub, but I was content
enough to sit back, and relax in the knowledge that I had done the right thing.
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I will be writing something special shortly, and will be posting in weekly segments (The first of which i will post on sunday) . I also have an erotic entry to paste in here. Unfortunately it is not finished yet, but i will find the time.
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New entry!!! woohoo!! Feeling suprisingly alert for this hour. The latest news on Mistresses stable? We have moved again. Busy busy busy getting all of it done, but feeling contempt in my new home. Was only yesterday that the username in the top right was caraslave3, feels a bit surreal, but nice. My screename now, nathalie011106 is my slave name, followed by my collaring date. At this moment, we arent certain exactly what the date was, but have estimated it around the 1st of November. Official collaring will be in a few years time, where i will completely give up my rights, soul, body, virginity, mind, spirit and my posessions.
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*Apologies if my old entries are a bit long and not broken up, having problems copying and pasting*
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8/11/2007 9:38:26 PM
All the things She said, all the things She said, running through my head, running through my head.... Ok lets a get a little debate going here, hands up who believes online D/s relationships dont work? I am guessing a lot of you out there are raising your hand. Ill let you in on a little secret, i was one of those people at one time. Online bdsm used to be just games for me. I used to be, what Mistress so perfectly calls, a cocktugger. Yup, you know the ones, sitting in front of your cam, spamming messages left right and centre, explaining they want to "submit". Oh dear, 3.4 seconds after the orgasm, they leave. Im ashamed, i admit, to have been in this category at one point; to be a mindless drone following his little prick. But i have changed, and i would like to take a minute to go back, back to the beggining. October 2006. Seems like ages ago, i was starting second year university, working during the day, coming home, hopping on the computer and finding the easiest Domme to have a quick wank with. A sad existance, i think you will all agree. One weekend, i stumbled across a "Mordsithlover". I am ashamed to say i originally messaged Her for the same reason i messaged every other Domme at that point. She replied, and gave me my first taste of real submission. We started with one sided webcam sessions. I will admit, i was awful and usually did what most cock tuggers do. I would cum and leave, or i would move on to another Mistress. I would do this daily. For some reason, and i cannot thank Her enough for this, She didnt give up on me. Yes She did show Her angry side a few times. We continued to go on in the same way, until one afternoon. I came online, in a bit of a temper (wont go into details) and swore at Mistress. She did the proper thing and abandoned me. I remained a cock tugger for a little while. But for the first time, i felt something was missing. I continued for a little while longer, but then i gave in. I craved that Mordsithlover again, She was different, not like the others. After a grovelling message to Her, explaining how much i desired to be taken back, She accepted. Why? Well just before She abandoned me, we tried chastity. Obviously, because of my nature, i failed after a few days. But during the time between being abandoned and sending the message, i didnt cum. It didnt feel right, and i included this in the note. This was, what i would call my first step to true submission. In november, i was allowed to talk again with Her. I began chastity training once again, this time i obeyed the rules. I stuck with Mordsithlover and did not contact others. We started chastity with 1 week, then 2 weeks, then 3. Going up slowly. I never broke the 3 week record until the summer, but Mistress felt i was doing well regardless. My hard limits, when i started believe it or not, included pain and dressing in womens clothes, both of which i do gladly now. I soon became a sissy and would perform on webcam wearing panties and bras. Summer came, and i said i would keep in contact with Her. A new profile, twice actually. I started writing journals and opening up more to Mistress. The mental aspect soon began to emerge. About half way through summer, we both had a revamp of profiles, and i started on what has to be the biggest milestone of my training. My 5 week chastity period. During this time i was tought female supremacy and the various roles i would fill. I soon was promoted to assisant secretary, doing some of Mistresses admin work, and then full secretary. I learn more skills and more about the true meaning of submission. I started to think of Mistress daily. The second milestone came when i applied for the position of handmaiden, a most priveleged position indeed. I signed over myself completely, in a sincere way. From there i learned that submission is to please the Mistress, with no decision for yourself. She decides the limits and what i can and cant do. There are no limits unless She says so. I would become a slave now, not a sub. Chastity was irrelevant now. I do not cum, period, until it amuses or is benefitting Mistress. At this point, i do not cum for myself, as relief. I cum for Mistress. I devoted myself to Her, and vowed my life would revolve around Her. Owned property to be used how She feels. From Her i became a toy, an object of use. I was allowed to aid Mistress in Her most precious admin duties. I vowed to serve Her whole body if She desired, and would cum 100 times if thats how long it took Her to enjoy a sweet orgasm. I finally changed religion, from atheist to a believer in the church of High Mistress Cara, whom i think of and worship daily. From cocktugger, to property, only to be released if Mistress decides to......And i couldnt be happier with anyone else...Its been a long journey, one that i will remember for years to come, as the D/s relationship expands and changes, bringing me closer to my Goddess....
8/10/2007 10:26:28 AM
I did not mention something important in my last entry. I have done something today which i have not done with any other Mistress or Master before. For the first time in my life, i devoted a minute of worship to High Mistress Cara, Goddess of Her privileged stable of sluts. I knelt on the hard wooden floor, put a picture of my Goddess on the screen, and knelt in front of it for a minute, reflecting on how privileged i am, who Mistress is, and what my life is about. Once the minute was over, i thanked Her out loud for this privileged and bowed once more, before getting up. She is my Goddess, the centre of my new religion. If this offends anyone who is religious, i apologise, but this is just how i feel, and always will feel.
8/10/2007 10:15:26 AM
I can not say this enough, it the sentence that forms my life, it is what i am here for. I am mentally and physically obedient to Mistress, whom i will perform for and do anything She desires, in order that it may amuse Her and make Her life that much more comfortable. I live to serve Her. A slogan for my life, you could say, that will never change. I will be Hers for as long as She wants me, nothing less. She is away today and for the rest of the weekend for reasons that only She shall divulge to the public. I sit here in the hope that Her little break is enjoyable and gives Her a chance to sit back and relax, which i have no doubt in my mind She deserves. She works hard for us, and i appreciate every second She allows me to share with Her. I truly love Her as Her loyal pet should and give everything i have to Her. It is selfish to say that i ache to talk with Her, to have 5 minutes of Her attention at this time. I really am missing Her. Yet i know She is always with me. She has allowed me that privilege. Her spirit, whether it comes in the form of a whisp of cold teasing wind, or the soft voice, which floats around my head, is always there. I worship and obey that voice and spirit every day, never to leave it. I have learned that a physical presence is not needed to control me. I have been broken down and moulded, with Her unique talents, and can only obey her every second of the day. Yesterday, was another step towards complete enslavement. I consider my Mistress more important than my parents now. A new mother so to speak, who i will devote all the time i can give to Her. Mothers work hard and deserve great respect. I respect Her completely, like She was my mother all along. This may seem strange, and i do apologise if this seems twisted in some way. But what runs through my head must be shared, in the hope that it will allow Mistress more control over me. I cannot say thank You enough for being one of Her privileged sluts.
8/9/2007 10:22:56 PM
I think it is best i write an entry every night, as it lets me reflect on the special time i spend with Mistress and also lets Her know what is going through my head. I do have another story in the making, that will be posted soon, do not fear, i am not slacking. I just finished up a few things around the house, and finished watching a double episode of House. I just cant get enough of it now. Ok, so what happened today? Well the first thing that springs to mind is hypnotism. Ah yes, i tried to install a trigger word last night for Mistress, and we did a test run today. To be honest i was dissapointed with it after trying it, but i will explain what happened, how i felt and anything else i want to add in. When spoken or typed, the trigger word sends me into a deep trance, which is confirm with REM. I programmed it so that when i reached this state, i was more submissive and willing to do anything. In short it was an attempt to turn me into a perfect almost limitless slave. So we tried it, and Mistress talked with me for a while to see how it was changing me. To be honest there wasnt that much difference. Yes i did go into trance when the phrase was spoken, but the effects were not clear. I became robotic, a simple brainless "Yes Mistress" slave. Not only that, but a feeling of love and devotion, and willingness to do anything for Her shined through. Physically the most noticeable part was that once in trance, i was unable to take my attention away from Mistress and the computer screen. There were some drawbacks though. Mainly my creativity took a nose dive, which is expected when i turn robotic. Also, it seemed that i wasnt completely under, which dissapointed me. On reflection if i am honest, although it was fun to experiment, the hypnotism was not worth it. As Mistress explained, i would do anything for Her, regardless of whether i was hypnotised or not. She also is able to, and prefers to capture the mind with Her words and presence, and i too agree with this. So that was that, it was fun, but mostly pointless. However if anyone is experienced in hypnosis and is reading this, feel free to get in touch, i would be happy to talk with You. Please however respect that i am owned, and would never consider changing that. I am more than happy with Her. i discovered today, my obsession with Mistresses body. She is perfect, both mentally and physically and i couldnt be happier with anyone else. A little talk today however, set my heart racing. We talked about Her feet. I was eager to impress, and so in an erotic fashion, i started to describe exactly how i would worship Her feet. I got a little carried away i will admit. Despite this, everything i said was sincere. I was excited by Her feet, i was thrilled to have the simple privilege of running my tongue up Her heel, and licking in between Her toes. Mistress asked me if i would worship any body part of Hers, and without hesitation i said i was. As Her handmaiden i would be willing to give Her a complete tongue bath if She asked me to. My heart pounded faster and faster as i described the details, and soon i went into a frenzy, confessing everything i felt for Her. Im unsure if this was a mistake, but i felt liberated and able to express my true feelings. I feel honesty is a must. I know my place, i am a pet, an object, a toy, not a lover. I love Her as my Mistress and She loves me as Her property. I could ask for nothing more, and it makes me smile to know She feels this way. It lights up my life and gives me hope in this jail cell i like to call my house. I will one day be freed by Her. Until then, i wait patiently and obey.
8/9/2007 11:25:02 AM
New meaning has come to my life. It took time for me to gain confidence. It always will with me, but i would like to thank my sister slaves (one in particular, you know who you are) who have helped me, and also my Mistress, who has endless patience. I learned a valuable lesson last night at 4am. We all worry, that is, if we love someone and care we worry. But worrying does not have to be a tool, that breaks down your self esteem, and eats away at you. There are times, where, yes it will get you down, and you will feel miserable, but the idea is, if you feel you are not doing as well as you could, then you pick yourself up and try harder. My life recently has been full of pain and confusion, but as it all dissapears into the distance, i will aspire to serve with a difference. To be worried is to find reason to work harder, it is not an excuse to whine and pout, and this is how it will be from now on. I will give what i can, it is all i can give, and Mistress understands this, and soon i will be able to give more. But whatever i can give, i will work harder at. I really could not do this without a second perspective of a sub who i really appreciate the help of. You have found me new hope, and i will use this to serve to the best of my ability :) I am happy. No doubts, no whining. Just a slave, working hard, to please her Mistress xxx
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8/9/2007 2:47:10 AM
Its night like these that make me realise, Mistress has completed taken over me, mind body and spirit. I appreciate everything She does for me, and although i do not give as much as Her other loyal sluts, i give as much as i can back. She deserves a BIG thank You for all the hard work She puts in to Her stable. Over the past few weeks, i have been unaware of it. Dont ask me why, but now i have learned, and cannot should enough appreciation for the simple honour of being Her slut. For those of You who looked at the time of this entry, its easy enough to guess, i cant sleep. I have been up, with Mistress Cara bouncing around in my head. I cant stop thinking about Her. I feel guilty that i have the occassional thought of being bent over Her knee, while She applies a good spanking, or taking a dip in the hot tub with me, but i know that this only mean i have a male side, and am therefore inferior. Mistress is stronger than me, and that is the way it should be. Tonight i felt as free as the wind, waking up the next morning, i will have a smile on my face, i will be happy. I am owned by someone special, someone who i keep close to my heart, and who i allow to dive into my mind, and take whatever She desires. I give myself, as i have always said in the past, completely and wholely. I dont give money, i dont write amazing stories, i dont buy Her presents, but i give myself, and soon, much more, as i am liberated from my parents. I would truthfully give it all to Her. I dont make demands, i am simply happy in the knowledge i will be able to speak to Her the next day, a great privilege in itself. I wouldnt dream of asking for more. I went to bed early. I was smiling, i opened the window, i lay in bed, and gave myself up. Take me Mistress. Soon that familiar gust of wind, the spirit of Mistress rushed in, and floated above me. I smiled at Her, and presented my small, and fragile breats to Her, which She teased and tickled and played with. I wriggled and twisted in the sheets, an erotic dance which sent waves of electricity rushing through me. A little sub, happy to play for her Mistress, a thing to toy with for Her amusement. I would occassionally moan, unable to keep quiet, despite my parents in the other room. The thought sends a rush of adrenaline through my body, tensing all my muscles, making me pant like a dog. A filthy slutty bitch with her blankie. But oh what a feeling, no drug or activity could match what Mistress can do. I giggle and pull down the sheets. Mistress strokes down to my button. I gasp and grab Her soft cold weightless hand, and push deep into my stomach. The touch sends an explosive reaction over my body, forcing me to thrust against the sheets and grit my teeth, as a moan tries to escape. As i collapse back on the bed, it does not stop, i am slowly tickled to edge, and rolled onto my front. I knew what to do, what would amuse Mistress and i slowly started to hump the bed. Soft and slowly first, as if it was a fragile glass lover, which soon shattered into a fiery nymph, who craved long deep pounding thrusts. I aimed for the back walls of Her cervix, thrusting hard into the matress, giving every last bit of energy i could to pleasing Her. Before collapsing in an exhausted heap. Aching, breathless, and tired, but with a big smile on my face. I may have been aroused, and no i did not cum, but thats not the point, as behind me all the time, i could hear the faint moans of Mistress, as She watches Her little star play out her show. A three act play, with a twisted end. As She floated back out the window, i lept up and looked out after Her, thrusting my cold hard nipples to the wind. Liberation was such a good feeling, freedom it seems, can be derived from control. And there is no one in the world i would want more to control me than Her, there is no one i would want to amuse more. As i tucked myself back in bed, i prepared a surprise for Mistress, a little something for the morning.....
8/7/2007 10:43:01 PM
Something different, something magical happened today, all in quite a short space of
time. As instructed, I was to have a punishment for my recent bad behaviour. I
was to perform for Mistress on webcam, not only that, but do a good enough job
to amuse Her. To say the least, I was very nervous. The night before, I sat up,
watching strip tease videos, to get a feel of what is best to do. I then ran a
list through my head of all the things I could do, pleasure and pain. I came up
with the following ideas:
Ruler for slapping my balls, Rubber bands for tying around
balls and cock, A single peg (must get more of
those), Books for squashing meat, A glass for a nice cum shot
after, Small rope for CBT and
restraints
Today it seemed was quite a busy day for both of us, and we didn’t get to each other
properly till about 1:30, by which point the anticipation was killing me, as I
lay on my bed; jeans t-shirt and a pair of baby blue briefs (which I thought
would impress Mistress, as She loves Her sluts in pastels, especially pink and
baby blue). When She came back online, I couldn’t have been more excited. I
felt refreshed, as adrenaline pumped through me. I was raring to go. I should
explain first that Mistress and I have not had a sexual one on one cam session,
this was our first. To be honest I am glad we waited nearly a year for it. I
have a better understanding of what Mistress likes and dislikes, what makes Her
wet, and what doesn’t. It was to Her advantage that we waited, and this was
enough of a reason for me to wait patiently. It was only in the first few
months of meeting Her, that I craved online webcam fun. Back then, I was a cock
tugger. I would simply do it for my tiny man clit, no one else. Today, I do
things for Mistress, and I leave my desires out of the equation. Today, a cam
session for me, is a chance to please Mistress, and excite Mistress, not
myself. If I orgasm, it is because She made me. If I receive pleasure, it is
because She has allowed me it. If I receive pain, it is because She demands it,
regardless of whether I deserve it and as I am a slave, I have no right to say
no to it. I’m not unhappy about this, on the contrary, this is the way it
should be, and I would have it no other way.
So, back to the story, as Mistress returned, I rushed around and set everything up, and invited
Her to view my cam, and Hers to view. I stood, a little nervous and was told to
strip, which I did quickly. My body was being disobedient, and the words and face of Mistress gave me an instant erection. Embarassed, i tried to cover it up, and bring it down. After a minute of clean thoughts, i was fine. What i didnt expect was that Mistress wanted me to feel pain. I suppose i should have known as this was meant to be a punishment. So instead of doing a seductive strip tease, i was first told to edge and make my clit rock hard. I moaned and whimpered and wriggled, caressing up and dont my sensitive body. It was no surprise that it soon brought me to edge. The rush of stopping myself just before was amazing. I was turned into a wild animal, as i humped the side of the bed, and slid my hands up my legs and breasts. My clit would not stop twitching throughout the whole session because of it, but that would be the least of my worries. I knelt in front of Mistress, my heart pounding in my ear. The adrenaline rush from simply kneeling in front of my Goddess, was incredible. My clit still ached from holding back an orgasm, and there was sweat already forming on my body. I took the ruler and rubber bands. I tied my cock and balls up, and waited for the command for me to start slapping my balls, which i presented, with my clit held against my cheast. I start with hard smacks, each one sending a surge of pain through me, causing me to double over in pain. It felt great, i really enjoyed it. After a few smacks, i sat and did quick light strokes, causing my balls to bounce around in agony. I was like a river, constantly leaking now, and Mistress decided this was not allowed. I smack them till they couldnt leak anymore, in the process bruising and making my clit bleed. This was not a problem, i was following Mistresses commands, and that is all that mattered. If She was happy, i was happy, and i continued to slap at them. It came quickly, and really caught me off guard, i had brought myself nearly over the edge. I thought i could not stop it, still i didnt want to fail Her. I bent over and used all my strength and willpower to keep it in. I thought it had already happened, but i had done enough to make all that cum rush back into me, causing it to sting like crazy. The rubberbands kept the cum inside me, but my clit was desperate to get rid of it. Oh it was difficult, it kept twitching and edging, about every 10 seconds. I was in pain, trying not to fail Mistress. A little bit of pain does not compare, and so i rocked and kept clean thoughts. But every edge was so difficult, i have never had to try so hard. Mistress gave me a tip. Spanking with a ruler over a pair of panties would help, and i had no reason to doubt Her, so i quickly put on the baby blue briefs again, and soon i was lying back, in full few, giving my clit hard spanks. With each hit, i jerked forward, nearly kissing the floor. This sweet torture went on for about 10 minutes, and with each smack, i would throw myself over the edge, and with all my willpower, i would have to bring myself back. It was a workout with a difference. I looked at the screen again after a bit. Mistress wasnt finished with me. Slowly, i saw Her start to pull Her skirt down. It was beautiful, it was perfect. I nearly cried as i begged Her to stop. The sight of Her firm round perfect ass, was too much, i was panicking, trying to look away, but ever glimpse made me more and more excited. I composed myself and kept away from orgasm as best as i could, and after a while, i thought i had it under control. But Mistress is better than me, and knew exactly what to do. She slowly slipped the strap of Her shirt down her soft shoulder, and only slightly pulled Her bra down to reveal a part of Her nipple. It was too much. I felt myself say in a soft voice, "please no, i cant hold it" and frantically started typing at the keyboard, begging for Her to stop, but in my drunken testosterone state, all that came out was gibberish. I felt myself sink as one of the biggest orgasms i had ever experienced, shot out. I moaned out load and my cum soaked my briefs and wet the floor. I was limp, light headed, and most of all, angry at myself. I hit my head and lay in my arms, completely broken. I waited a minute to calm my heartbeat, before i started to lick my briefs clean. Mistress forgave me, as She was the one in control, but deep down i felt i could have done better. Despite all this, that afternoon is probably something i will never experience again, it was truly perfect, and i thank Mistress with all heart for it. As i licked up my salty cum, i was glad that i had amused Mistress, the one goal that drives me in life. Mistress is truly a Goddess, and whether She is in Her prized ball gown, or Her red and white thong, skirt and strap shirt, She is always perfect, nothing less. I could not thank Her enough for the privileges She allows me. Your loyal slut handmaiden and slave, nathalie :)
8/5/2007 5:01:13 PM
I have once again dropped below what is expected of me as one of Her slaves. I am privileged to be one of Hers, yet this slut still does not fully appreciate it. Today i was assigned a task that any slave could usually only dream of doing. I was told to watch over Mistresses profile while She is away. This slut took the task, but failed to be enthusiastic about such a wonderful task. This slut took the task as if it was nothing, and so will recieve her punishment. Slut is not in denial, she knows what she has done, and knows very well it was wrong. This slut is therefore glad to recieve the punishment she deserves and nothing less. I am not the slave i used to be. I have dissapointed again and again through my worrying. However, i would like to beg a fresh start, so that i may be the nathalie that i used to be. More confident, eager to please, hard working with enthusiasm, and most of all, serve properly for once in the last month. I will not let You down again Mistress.
8/3/2007 9:37:06 PM
A Sweet After Taste- As Mistress finishes Her main meal, kitten scoots off Her knee and into the kitchen. Mistress puts Her knife and fork down and stares in disbelief at the new subs sudden abandonment. She looks over to toy, who smiles and reassures Mistress, that all will be revealed. Mistress talks happily with the other Dommes, while toy readjusts her skirt. she nods to Mistress, who discreetly moves Her stockinged feet towards the now exposed clit of the slut. Mistress smiles as She hears from across the table faint moans, only encouraging Her to explore further. Knowing exactly when she is on edge, Mistress can expertly mainipulate the poor helpless sub. She massages her balls, which ache so much from being so full for so long. The slut arches her back and slightly pushes into Her perfect foot. she can feel it, the long forgotten orgasm is near, aching to be let loose. Toy moves up and down the foot. Nearly there. Mistress hears the sub squeak, a sure sign she is about to cum, and immediatly pushes her foot hard against the base of sluts shaft. The cum releases with tremendous force, but has nowhere to go, it is made to go straight back in. The overfilled balls beg for mercy, and begin to sting as the cum flows back in. Toy turns bright red and tenses up, making a face. she bursts out with a cry of pain, causing the room to go silent. As everyone stares at the slut, Mistress discretely moves Her foot away, and smiles at the slut. The silence is broken with the head chef announcing dessert. A surprise dish is brought and and presented to Mistress. One chocolate covered kitten, filled in all those delicious areas with strawberries and cream, and finished off with a bink bow and lace for decoration. The kitten smiles as she is placed down in front of Mistress. Mistress smiles, and can hardly believe what has been offered. She leans forward and licks up and down the kittens cheeks. The kitten giggles as the soft tongue traces up and down her. The two of them couldnt be happier. As Mistress moves back, She quickly removes the chocolate moustache from Her lips with a napkin and says "I will take dessert in my chambers". As the command is issued, all the maids hurry to clean up the tables. Mistresses attaches a leash to kitten, and is escorted upstairs by Toy. Toy stands at the Mistresses chamber doors and waits. Kitten is taken in, and it is not long before toy can hear giggles and laughs, as the pair finish off their meal. Such a privelege that toy only wishes he could have...just for 5 minutes, the honour it would be.. to be Mistresses dessert, providing that sweet after taste. END
8/3/2007 9:08:03 PM
I want to describe in more detail the goings on, behind the walls of High Mistress Caras household. A lot of people liked my Birthday Surprise entry, which gave a small insight to the daily activities of Mistress and Her stable. The following short entries will hopefully give a bigger picture of what happens behind those walls. (Newer entries are ABOVE this one)
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8/3/2007 8:18:41 PM
I am happy today. For once i didnt screw things up. So, what happened today You ask? I was just talking with Mistress. Thats all. But simply talking to Her has left me with a smile on my face. We had a few discussions today. A few are private, but the one i want to share involves the way i am owned. Now i know this is only an opinion, so You may take it or leave it, but i believe a true sub does not just give him/herself physically. After debating a certain anonymous subs opinions, we came to the opinion that a sub will only be owned, when their thoughts are filled with Mistress on a daily (and nightly) basis. My nights, for those who dont know, are filled with Mistress. Although She knows that while i am in chastity, it will be painful to be thinking of Her at night, She still enjoys the idea of toying with my mind. The night usually begins and ends with teasing. The Mistresses voice commanding "Dont touch", yet encouraging the cold air from my window to caress and keep me on edge for several hours (Again, for those who dont know, my body has been trained by Her to be one big erogenous zone, one big clit. It does not matter where i am touched, and i hope that the few subs privileged to serve Her, will also be allowed this pleasure.), but tonight was different. I have been practicing for Mistress, self-hypnosis techniques, and can take myself into a deep state of hypnosis with REM as an indication of this. Once there, i feel hornier, i feel more submissive, i feel more confident, and generally i am a lot easier to persuade. Tonight i wasnt careful, and i let my Mistress into my sub conscious. Although in this state, i do have some power to retain control of myself, i did not choose to, and instead let Mistress do as She wishes. My nipples, She said, were twice as sensitive. My button, was like a clit, throbbing and wanting to be touched. I was told to start stroking and not stop. I was sweating, i will tell You that. I was nervous, it was like i was being tested. This teasing and edging went on for 2 hours, before i was allowed to stop. Horny, exhausted and aching, i was then allowed to go to sleep. Being under was beautiful, despite this. This may sound strange to some, but i was allowed in Her domain, i was allowed to interact with Her, i was allowed to feel Her presence. It was a connection, that i will always feel from now on. What about my days? It may sound obsessive, but it is not meant to spook. I do think of Mistress everyday, automatically. It is built into me. It is routine. Not only that, but my life now revolves around Her. This may seem insincere and exaggerated, but we discussed it today. It is not. I sincerely do everything for Mistress. Its been an eventful year, and we have had our ups and downs, i suppose its expected, just like a relationship, but in the end, i have gained something special. Something i thought i could only dream about. Belonging somewhere, belonging to someone, someone who cares, someone who wants to help me, wants to further my life, and in return i do exactly the same for Her. Some may say after 2 weeks of serving a Mistress, that they are truly devoted to them. If im honest, i would say that statement may have some sincerety, but does not have the experience, the moments, the discussions, the getting to know eachother, the showing of devotion on a long term basis. Im not trying to criticise or put anyone off, i just believe these things need time, so that You can reflect, and think, am i really devoted, or did i just get caught up in the moment? So up to now, what have i given to Her? I have given my body, my mind, my soul. I can provide services wherever and whenever She likes. A handmaiden, a cuck, a concubine, a slave, a play toy, aswell as many other roles. And today i do everything in my life for Her. There was another addition to the list today. Now this may seem silly, but this is something i have held onto dearly for a long time. There are many times where i have held onto it, refused to let go. Honestly, this is not something i was easily going to let go of. The thought of doing it makes me uneasy, but at the same time happy. Today, i vowed that Mistress, when the right time comes, may take my virginity. It is locked away until She wants it. It is now no one elses to take. Even now as i write this, i have a lump in my throat, and i feel slightly sick to the stomach, but it is the right choice. I have to let go for Her. There is only one step left in my training. I know what it is, but this is not the time to share it. It will happen when it is ready to. Not forced, nor prolonged.
8/2/2007 10:21:39 PM
First week of chastity is officially over! Maybe I can do this after all...
7/31/2007 8:28:31 PM
Week one after 5 weeks and one week of failure. That familiar game rears its head and gives You a run for Your money. Sheet wrestling! woohoo! I know i havent been talking about my hormones and the effects my chastity has on me recently. To the point where Mistress thinks i cant be turned on by anything. So, i shall unveil all in a grim tale, that shall haunt thee all night.......... (statement subject to circumstances and length of chastity, our typical time estimate is 1.5 weeks before hell bares down on You, have a nice day :) ). It all started on a cold summers night. Toy was wide awake, nipples pert and clit on edge. She wanted to touch. This was not normal, for a sub who is usually used to a strong willpower, able to cope at the toughest at times. Mistress had broken her down. She was no longer the proud 5 week soldier, but a cum craving slut. Looking back now, it seemed as though i was back in november, begging for that sweet orgasm that would haunt me, uncontrolled, a wild beast, needing to be tamed. The cool air rushes in from the window, like a breath from Mistresses delicate mouth, over my body, setting me on edge for the long night ahead. I whimpered as my nipples craved to be touched, and as the feeling moved down to my button, i knew resistance would not be easy. I turned to the side, away from the window, but soon the cold air filled the room, sending shivers all over me. The wind, it seems, was on Her side. I moaned and pulled the sheets up, in doing so, rubbing my hand over my chest. Toys body is a human clit, and as the two surfaces make contact, i groan and whimper, wishing it would stop. The room goes quiet for half an hour, and for once i felt i had a chance to sleep. I let the covers down a bit, my whole body tingles with excitement. I freeze. To move an inch more would mean a certain orgasm. I stare up to the ceiling, and before long, i notice a presence. She whispers to me "Be strong". I whimper and begin to pull the covers up again, but am soon stopped, as the cold air rushes over my thin vest. "Give yourself to me slut", the voice says again. I quickly move the sheets down again, forgetting i was on edge. The feeling of an orgasm hits me. I fight it, with all the strength i have in my body. Its not easy, and as my muscles relax once again, the cum that would escape flows back down into my balls, increasing the volume, and increasing the pain. This slut knows from her training that overfilled balls are not fun, and as she screws up her face in pain, the voice lets out a delightfully wicked laugh. "Awww, you dont mind pet, you know which is better, i have taught you that. Release is for bad little girls. Bad little girls dont deserve my attention". I nod, and the creases of my face dissapear, as i relax once again into the sheets. "You may take your vest off pet, its not needed, neither are the pj bottoms." I slide the shirt and bottoms off to reveal a thong, white and lacy, with floral decoration on the front. "No bra tonight pet?" I shake my head and in a small voice say "My parents". Mistress speaks up, "ah yes, Your parents, now boi, repeat aloud, what do you think of your parents". I shake my head, as i know my parent would hear in the other room, but I'm soon corrected by a quick gust of cold air rushing over the thong, forcing me once again to hold it in. "You were saying slut?". "In a small voice, i start to say "I want Mistress to watch me...". Slut is intterupted by Mistress shouting "Louder whore!". In an out loud, speaking voice, slut says " i want Mistress to watch me fucking and being fucked by my mother and father and being made to drink their sexual juices and liquids as well as any other emissions from them while she watches and judges my performace." I stop and cup my hand over my mouth as i hear my parents get up and walk towards my room. Her voice dissapears, and i find myself half naked, wearing a thong, speaking my lowest desires to my parents, now staring at me through the open door...... END
7/31/2007 8:18:05 PM
Big it up for me main girl Cara and Her banging group of subs. Her cru, who stick by her day ba day, and earn da respect of der Queen. Wicccked Jungle is Massive.... Sorry had to write that, couldnt help myself. :)
7/31/2007 9:28:32 AM
Well its another beautiful morning, and as the sun blasts through my window and pokes me in the eye, i am forced to get up. I do the usual stuff and compose myself for the day..... And then they call. "Is that Mr K**?" "Yes it is, how may i help?" "Ah Mr K**, since You did such a smashing job last year, i was wondering if You would do the collection again this year?". I declined, but they women on the phone whined about how i was the only person in the area to do it and that i did so well last year, it would be amazing if i could just collect half what i did last yearr. Well, i guess im weak. I gave in. For those who cant read my mind, i do a charity collection for cancer each year, and to be honest, i was getting fed up. Its not that im a heartless man, its just the job itself. Yes its a small area and there arent that many houses, only about 100. But I have to go and ask for money! And whats more, when i do go and ask for money, all i usually get in return is a look, a look that could make your balls shrivel up and turn that fake smile into a frown, as You plod along to the next house. Collecting for charity is supposed to be a good cause, so why do i feel like the enemy everytime i do it? Maybe its just the bastards who live in my area. I personally give 30 pounds each year, which usually doubles the total, thats how little these people care! I mean these people must have at least half a million stored away, and all they can give is 50p, or possibly a pound? I can understand for people who earn less, but these people have no excuse.. And so, this year, i will once again be walking what feels like the green mile, going from house to house, to earn once again, that phone call once a year "Ah Mr K** you did a smashing job last year would you...."
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7/29/2007 6:35:03 PM
Finally have a bit of time to myself to write after studying for nearly 2 hours. I know the fantasies are lacking, i do apologise for that. Perhaps the unfinished ones are getting old, and i need something fresh. I will create a completely new one over the next couple of days. Any ideas are of course always welcome. Anyway, the discussion of the moment (after the best cures for hiccups) is something i have been thinking about over the past couple of weeks. There are certain people on here that believe the lifestyle has to be a certain way, and any other way is wrong. Possibly the biggest debate on here is whether or not BDSM should involve sex. Now i can see some of You standing up and saying "absolutely not! It is very unDomme like to have sex with ones subs!", but i can also see some of You standing up and saying "If the Mistress or Master wants it, and the sub enjoys it, then i dont see why not". My point? BDSM does not have to be a certain way for it to be "correct". It is often very personal to the parties involved. A lot of criticism on here is based upon what should and shouldnt be done. Now i know a lot of You may take BDSM very seriously and hold it dearly to them. But too often, people in this lifestyle act as if they are in a VIP club, and any activity which does not conform to what You see as correct is immediatly dismissed. Think about the phrase "BDSM Community". Community in the english dictionary means a group of people with similar interests. Not the same interests, but similar interests. BDSM can only develop if there is an acceptance of open discussion and a tolerance of others views. We dont have to say "no, that isnt right, that is not correct", instead think "well hang on, i havent looked at it from that perspective". I guess what im trying to say is,when someone says something You dont agree with, think why that person said it, look at it from their point of view, and then see if You can view it as if You were that person. If after some thought, You still dont agree; dont say it is wrong, or incorrect, just accept that in Your circumstance, it isnt something You prefer. I have honestly seen 60 years olds on here act as if they were two, because they simply cant accept something, and immediatly dismiss it. Think about it, discuss it, and enjoy the privilege of being able to share, but for god sakes stop being so stubborn and one tracked.
7/29/2007 3:49:48 PM
OPEN DISCUSSION: What is the best cure for hiccups? 1. Water-caraslave3 2. Frights- SirBobtheSubBuilder
7/29/2007 2:16:05 PM
Had an interesting day, this may amuse a few of You. For those who dont know, i am a student, so excuse the humour. Just got back from 2 hours of driving with my dad (im still a learner, hopefully pass this summer). Had a very interesting first hour, as i practiced my manoevers while everyone is giving me funny looks (always wondered why people do that, i have 2 L plates on my car, and everyone knows we have to learn manouevers, so whats with all the staring?) before driving on to the garden centre before my engine overheats. Had a nice lunch (couldnt keep my eyes off THE smallest dog in the world. This poor runt could have fitted in the palm of my hand.), before setting off again. Here is where it gets fun. I started to get the hiccups, which really does not help with the digestion. So i drank the rest of my coke, to see if that would help. It only makes things worse. So i slowly walk back to the car with my hiccups. Now bare in mind that garden centres have tons of old biddies walking around, and there were plenty around the parking area. I was finding it quite difficult to walk, because of the hiccups and digesting, and i had to stop every now and again to breath a bit. Before staggering off again. In short i looked like a drunken fool, who was now proceeding to open his car door and turn on the ignition. Every time i hicupped, i jumped slightly on the acceleration, which made my driving skills look very dodgy. On the way home though, i was in stitches from the looks they all gave me. They gave me the kind of look someone would give me if i had shot my dad. *sigh* I apologise if this doesnt sound funny, but that has to be the highlight of the day.
7/28/2007 11:28:04 AM
HOSPITAL SCENE: Personally i think that a woman in a hospital smock is quite
sexy (you know those knee length ones with the sashes to tie at the
sides). Slut is sent to hospital, after She accidently pushes a dildo too far inside her and will have
to strip off to wear the smock. Now i personally love the idea of a
nurse using a patient in secret. Whether it is in a private room, or
behind those pull around curtains that surround the bed. No one would
know but patient and the nurse. Of course some blackmail would have to
be used, such as the nurse displaying pictures of this slut in lingerie
around the hospital for all to view (especially family when they
visit). And so, when it comes to morning "check-up" this slut sits
still in bed and does exactly as she is told and does not move again,
until Nurse is finished. Mistress and i had a talk today about what
medical play She enjoyed, and we did come up with a few things. Number
one on the list is electrical play. So imagine if You will, as the
curtain comes around one morning, and that perfect nurse appears once
more, with a cathode, and a little electric box. She orders me to
strip, which i do immediatly before hopping back on the bed. She takes
from Her Nurses gown, two handcuffs and locks each hand to the bed. The
same is done with the feet, and soon, this slut is feeling quite
restrained and helpless. Not that this slut minds, she knows deep down
it is what she has always dreamed of doing. What this slut doesnt
expect is the cathode, which is now being forced down that pathetic man
clit of hers, until a burning sensation takes over. This slut yelps and
begs the Nurse to stop, but She pushes it in just that much more
further before taping it in place. Attached to the cathode is a lead,
which goes directly to what Mistress calls the "magical box". She
switches it on and suddenly i know why. A wave of pleasure surges
through me. Soon She starts to turn the
dial and the pleasure starts to fade, and for a while, it feels good. I
look down and blush, as i find my cock is fully erect in Her view. I
struggle to cover myself up, but its no use, and the Nurse only watches
and laughs, before turning the dial all the way up and leaving me to
suffer. The pain goes on for hours, as the slut sits on edge, unable to move and unable to take the burning sensation away. Unable to even call for help, as she couldnt bare the thought of being caught like this. she looks at the time...11am...one more hour and the doctor would be coming by. she had to do something. she starts to panic and wriggles, trying to free the tape from the delicate skin of her clit, and as each minute goes by, the movements get faster and faster, as desperation sets in. she looks at the clock again...11:50... she shuts her eyes as she hears the curtain pull to. she waits, unsure of what he will think, what anyone will think. But after 30 seconds of silence, she opens her eyes to find the nurse, standing up in the corner giggling at the poor slut. "awwww did i scare you pet?", she says as she walks over and turns down the dial and removes the cathode and box from the bed. "I would leave this here, but the doctor needs to do a little inspection". An inspection? Slut starts to worry again. The ten minutes go by quickly and soon the doctor arrives. Sluts eyes widen as from behind the curtain emerges her one and only Mistress.... END
7/27/2007 7:27:05 PM
*Congratulations to Bobbi who has recently joined Her stable. Bad luck Roxie.*
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7/27/2007 7:26:01 PM
I figured it out. It may be obvious, but the key to chastity is distractions. Chastity isnt something You should think about 24/7, or You wont get very far. When all the distractions go away, it usually results in failure. Most of You know i hold the record for the longest time in chastity (with Mistress Cara, not every sub in the world). What most of You probably dont know, is a week and a half after that (last wednesday) I gave in. For some reason my will power had failed, and i had an orgasm. Mistress knows the details and to be honest You dont need to know them to get the whole picture. The problem that i had, was for those 2 weeks, i was constantly thinking of Mistress. Constantly. I realised with my last chastity program, there were tons of distractions which made it easier. Holidays were one of them. For 2 of the 5 weeks, i was away. Also the journals do keep me busy in the evenings, which seems to be the time when i get most aroused. (I should probably inform Mistress about this actually, as it would be to Her advantage to know.) Anyway, Mistress and i decided to restart everything, and today is my second day. So i plan to distract myself by studying, driving, and cleaning. Going out to, and friends. Your probably all thinking, "but what about when You talk with Mistress". Well when im talking with Mistress, it seems to help. I dont feel the need to cum when im around Her (this is not to say that Mistress couldnt make me cum with Her words, or Her beauty, as She is very capable of doing this). But i feel more relaxed and all the stress floats away when im around Her. She is like a miracle cure to me.
7/25/2007 10:30:24 PM
A Birthday Surprise- 26th July
As the sun
rises, pushing rays of warm sunshine into the Master Bedroom (appropriately
named the Goddesses Chambers), Mistress sits up, and as She gazes forward, a
familiar figure comes into focus. The neatly dressed handmaiden, known only as
“toy”, walks over to Her bedside and carefully sets down a prepared breakfast
in bed, fit for a Queen. Freshly baked bread, toasted to a golden brown, with
the finest preserves in the land and freshly churned butter, made by the maids
earlier this morning. On the side is a fresh brewed cup of coffee, blended only
this morning, from the finest Jamaican
Blue Mountain
coffee beans, flown in last night. As Her vision returns, Mistress notices the
other maids, standing patiently around the bedroom, all dressed in their little
maid outfits, smiles on their faces. “Happy Birthday Mistress”, toy says,
before carefully leaning forward and kissing Her on the cheek. With a silent
and careful motion, toy tells the others to walk downstairs, and toy herself,
walks into the Goddesses suite, to leave Mistress to Her breakfast. Mistress
picks up a piece of toast, lies back in Her plump down pillows and linen
sheets. She takes a bite, and listens to the soft trickle of water in the other
room.
Before
finishing Her breakfast and savouring the last creamy taste of that delightful
butter, She snaps Her fingers. Toy comes back into the room, dressing gown made
from the finest silk in hand. Mistress places Her beautifully decorated red
nailed feet into a soft pair of slippers, before walking over to Her Ebony wood
dressing screen, and removing Her bedtime slip. Toy hands Mistress Her gown and
quickly picks up Her slip, places it on a hanger, and hangs it in Her walk in
wardrobe. When she returns, she escorts a sleepy Mistress into the ensuite. A
hot bubble bath has already been run and the smell of lavender oils fills the
air. Mistress slips off Her slippers and gown to reveal Her perfect naked
figure, and slips into the bath, letting out a deep sigh as She enters the hot,
soothing water. Toy hangs up the gown, pushes the slippers underneath it, and
walks over to the sink. On the edge is carefully selected cream soap, which she
lathers up in her hands. She walks over to Mistress and starts to massage her
soapy hands into Her back, releasing all the stress and tension and relaxing
the muscles all over Her body. Mistress moans as Her worries are swept away
with the careful hands of toy. Once Her back is completed, she moves to her
front and repeats the process, straddling the tub in a revealing fashion, to
reach forward. Toy carefully massages the lather into Her neck, before moving
down, massaging carefully around each nipple and further down Her firm stomach.
Once completely covered in soap, it is time to wash Her off, and so toy reaches
for the shower head. The warm water sprays out, and toy carefully tests it with
Her hands, before running it up and down Mistresses back and front. The soap
runs off into the bath, and before long, Mistress is clean and slick looking.
The light from the window bouncing off of Her. Toy turns the shower off again,
and carefully moves off the bath from her straddle position. Toy sits on the
back of the tub, places a towel in her lap and gently brings the Goddesses head
back to lie down. Toy lathers up some of the shampoo in Mistresses hair and
starts to slowly massage it in a circular motion into the scalp. Once again,
this technique is used to remove all stress from the day. Deep exhales are let
out by Mistress, as She closes Her eyes, lies back and feels the warm flow of
water rinse over Her head, followed by gentle hands, running down Her body. She
hears a faint giggle as the hands tickle around her pelvic area. Toy hears the
familiar growl that is always a sign Mistress is having fun, and before she can
do anything, a firm arms grasps her and pulls her in the tub. Toy feels herself
submerge, as two carefully placed arms start to tickle her. In a fit of giggles
and laughs, toy rises to the surface and clambers on top of Mistress in a
straddle position. Clothes soaked, exposing her pointy nipples underneath. They
smile and gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment, before toy gently lowers
herself to clean Mistress. After a long night of play, there is a lot to lick
up, and the bubbles that form as toy laps away under the surface at Her lips
feel exquisite. As they gently follow the creases up to Her clit, sending
shivers up Her spine. Mistress moans and arches Her back. Downstairs the little
slaves and maids stop and listen as they feel the ceiling move and hear the
bath water rock back and forth, the splashes soon voiced over by the orgasmic
screams of Mistress. Soon all is quiet, and they quickly scamper back to their
daily activities.
Upstairs a
tired Mistress, and a very happy sub lie exhausted in the bath, wrapped in each
others arms. They cuddle, and Mistress gently kisses toy on the head, before
indicating with a soft nudge that it is time to get out. Toy stands up, slowly
moves over to the bath mat, and reaches for her own small towel; the material
is just wide enough to reach around her waist and only long enough to either
cover up her nipples, or her clit. She decides today she will only cover her
clit, and quickly ties the towel to the side of her waist, before grabbing her
Mistresses towel. She stands in front of the bath and holds the towel out.
Mistress stands up, and holds on firmly to toys nipples, to support Herself as
She steps over the tub. Toy winces but does not move, and when Mistress is out,
she helps Her with Her towel. She escorts Mistress to Her bedroom throne,
before quickly running off to get changed. She is back in minutes (which has
taken practice) dressed in her daytime lingerie set, composed of black translucent stockings, framed with a
lacy top, which is neatly held up by a black lace garter belt, which is wide
enough to form a mini skirt, with small bows on each side. Worn on her small
thrust out chest is a black bra, complete with matching small bow down the
middle. The picture is completed with lacy gloves and a silver collar, with
diamonds that drape down her front. Her hair falls down neatly on each side,
long and slightly curled at the end. As she does a twirl, Mistress notices a
cute bow, tied around her waist. The bow pushes out as toy happily sticks out
her ass. With a smile on her face, toy walks toward Mistress and carefully
dries ever spot of Her, running her tongue gently over Mistresses labia to just
make sure. Toy escorts Mistress to Her dressing room. After about an hour of
giggles and laughs as they try on each item of clothing, and imitate models
walking down a catwalk, Mistress selects the perfect outfit for Her special
day. She shines as She walks out the room wearing matching black lace stockings
and garter belt, with a black bra, decorated with a lace top. Like her sub, She
has Her hair down, brushed and with volume, it falls down onto Her seductive
red dress, which drapes down in a v at Her to show off Her beautiful cleavage,
and frame Her full breasts, which push the dress out, before it is pulled back
in at the waist, with clever ties at the side. Down the legs it is tight, but
open at the side, to show off those wonderful sexy legs. She does a few twirls
and pouts her lips at toy, who giggles and claps, before running to Her side to
help Her to help put on Her diamond necklace and leather boots. A quick zip up
and She is ready for the day. Toy fetches her leather leash, which fits snug at
the bag of her collar and Mistresses whip, which she hands to Her. Mistress
playfully whips toy on the ass, who yelps and giggles, before placing it in a
holder on the outside of Her boot, designed especially for this purpose. “Good
girl”, Mistress says, before taking the leash and leading toy downstairs.
Mistress
stops at smiles at the top of the grand staircase. In front of Her, is a
decorated room of silk banner, tables covered in embroided silk table clothes,
chin sets and food as far as the eye can see, decorations beyond even
Mistresses belief. In one simultaneous sweep, the maids, who at this point have
all stood in a row, removed their maid’s outfits to reveal matching white
evening dresses and matching diamond studded white collars. All together, they
begin to sing happy birthday. Before parting to the side, to reveal a large
ribbon covered box.
The room is
silent, as Mistress walks forward to the box, and carefully removes the
ribbons. Inside, is a little kneeling sub, unbroken and untrained. She looks up
into Mistress’s eyes and in a small timid voice, says “Happy Birthday
Mistress”. Mistress smiles, and looks back at toy, who simply curtsies and
smiles. “This is going to be a fun day”, Mistress says, before scooping up the
sub like a kitten, and walking to Her throne at the head of the table.
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY MISTRESS, Lots of hugs kisses and licks from Your loyal handmaiden and
slut,
-nathalie
7/24/2007 2:20:15 PM
I am now working harder than ever for my Mistress, with a smile on my face. I couldnt be happier anywhere else. :) Thank You Mistress Cara,-Your forever loyal handmaiden, slut, slave, secretary and possession, nathalie :)
7/23/2007 6:20:50 PM
A little exercise, completed for my Mistress.1. I'm a pussy cleaning little slut 2. I'm an object, ready to be used at anytime by Her 3. I'm Her cum whore 4. I'm unable to orgasm unless told by Mistress 5. I'm a flexible slave, who can change roles to suit Her needs 6. I'm limit free, all limits are decided upon by Mistress 7. I'm Her slave, lower than all animals and objects, yet still cherished 8. I'm willing to do anything to amuse Mistress 9. I'm a sex toy, trained with am open ass and mouth 10. I'm forever loyal to only Her
7/23/2007 2:58:39 PM
Thought it would be appropriate, before i add the last three stories, to just sit back and reflect. Ive had an awful day today, and it seems that the only thing that is keeping me going is my Mistress. This could be just a really late teenage rant, and i do apologise for using this journal as if it were my personal blog, but i feel comfortable enough with the people on here, to share a little. *sigh* my family, oh bless them, they try so hard, but at times, i think they just get at eachothers throats in their efforts. I could be really wrong, but i seem to be the only one who gets the bigger picture, and has some sanity in this snobbish southern part of England. My dad. Yes he has a very stressful job, and i can understand if some evenings all he wants to do is come home and crash on the couch, but he seems to have this false idea that he is king. Im not talking about him making rules, and taking responsibilities, and im not a whiney teenager complaining about his parents, he just generally has this false idea that everything he does and says is right. For example, today he came home from lunch break, and i was a bit worried because i had lost a piece of paper that was important and was in a bit of a panic. I had forgotten that dad had put it in a safe place in a binder upstairs. Still, he went into a rage, and eventually did remind me, and went to get it, which i thanked him for, but he then came out with the exaggerated and if im honest, completely laughable statement "I have to solve all the problems in the world". I sensed he was getting angry, and after saying thank you, kept my distance. I even offered to make him a sandwich, as he had been working. Now my brother is on his way to university and has to sort out all the documents for entry. Dad in general likes to take control of all things important and does in my opinion leave my brother in the dark about so many things that really he should be told about. When my brother goes to do something that involves university, such as paperwork, and doesnt understand it, my dad will have a go at him, claiming he doesnt listen and cant do anything right. Mum will calmly and practically go to help my brother, at which point, dad makes the assumption that we are all working against him, and start to build up another temper. After a small amount of time, my brother is doing well, and all he has to do now is sign something. my brother has a consistent signature, and that is all you need, but when he went to sign it, dad went off on one again, complaining that his signature, and i quote, "looked bad" and then assumed my brother wasnt taking it seriously. I decided to step in and as a brother should, i defended him. Dad went nuts and started shouting at me. I had had enough and decided the best thing to do was to shut myself away in my room, and calm myself down. My dad came up minutes later to tell me to never slam the door at him again. He then said, and this really pissed me off, " i deserve respect". Now excuse my language but Fuck off he doesnt. In my world people earn my respect. My friends did, my brother did, and my Mistress did. I respect all of these people, because they have earned it, i dont just give it out for free. By my world, i dont mean me in my little fantasy world, as im fairly sure others share my opinion about this. I told him he was out of line and didnt deserve respect at this point. He stormed out the house for work in the afternoon.... Im sorry, i really had to get that out of my system. Its made me think about so many things. I dont belong here. I belong somewhere else, i just dont know where yet.... My best guess is at university, earning a Masters degree and settling down in the evening at Mistresses feet.. I need to think about it. Home as i used to know it, doesnt feel like home anymore. Its a jail cell, a place i have to serve time during the holiday months. I appreciate all the good things they do, but it all seems like bribery when i compare it to the grave faults they make in things which should be simple for any down to earth, rational, practical person.
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7/18/2007 6:53:37 PM
SCHOOL SCENE: Story so far "Its always nice to write
about new ideas, and when Mistress thought up two new ones, i just had
to write about them on here. The first is a classic scene of the
naughty school girl and the headmistress. I have been dying to have an
excuse to wear a school girl uniform, there is something so exciting
about wearing it. This slut does not wear and bra, and everytime she
goes to sit down, that black miniskirt would also rise up to show off
her white cotton panties. Her top would be unbuttoned for the most
part, and would show off her breasts to everyone. Then of course there
are the pigtails, and high socks and smart shoes. I can imagine that
Mistress will think of a few ways to use those pigtails. As for Her
uniform, i cant say i am very good at describing, but i will ask my
Mistress what She thinks She should wear. So the scene...this should be
fun. The scene starts after class as usual, and this slut had forgotten
to do her homework the night before, as she was too busy being fucked
all night long by her 9 inch rabbit. So she is told to wait behind by
Mistress. She walks over to the door and locks it, and shuts all the
blinds. There is an awkward silence as She slowly walks up behind this
slut. She presses Her firm breasts against the sluts back and gently
says, "so what are we going to do with you then, this isnt the first
time you have forgotten". "No Mistress", the slut replies and the sinks
back into silence. "No it isnt, you have forgotten far too many times
in the past, and why is this?" "Well i......." Mistress cuts her off.
"yes yes i know, you sit up all night with your slutty hole, which you
insist on ramming with that rabbit of yours. How many rabbits have you
broken this year?" "ten", the slut replies, her eyes dropping further
and her body begining to slouch down. "does it hurt today?" Mistress
says. "yes Mistress" she replied. "I believe a punishment is needed,
wait at the front of the class for me". The slut hesitates. "NOW slut"
She orders. The sluts face turns bright red as she runs to the front of
the room, meanwhile Mistress rummages around in Her office, before
coming out again with a slightly obvious extra appendage. She walks
over to the slut and forces her over a table. "Any regrets now slut?"
"yes Mistress" the slut cries. "too late". She grabs the sluts
pigtails, rolls her round on her back and sits on her breasts, cock
inches away from her mouth. "Im sure you can figure out what to do".
"yes Mistress, the slut says as she grabs the tip of the cock with her
teeth and slowly moves her lips up the shaft. Before i knew it, i was being face fucked by the most beautiful
Goddess in the world, and every time She pushed a little bit deeper,
probing my tonsils and making me gag. This slut however, was doing Her
job well, as soon the strapon was slick and wet with her saliva. She
unmounted Her prey and slowly moved off the table, leaving a moist
trail down the sluts tummy. "Stand up", She ordered, and the slut did.
she slowly moved off the table and stood in front of the chalk board,
hands covering up her man clit. "Is it right for a girl to cover up
when she knows it is not in nature to usually do so? I see you bend
over in front of all the class, picking up the books you "accidently
dropped, showing off your beautiful white cotton panties". The slut
moves her hands away and to her side. Mistress moves towards Her desk
and brings out a long wooden cane. Slut cringes as Mistress moves back
over to her side, holding the cane ends in both hands, flexing it in
front of her. "Bend over slut!". slut does as she is told and
delicately bends over, exposing her cotton covered ass as the skirt
rides up. With a quick sharp CRACK!, Mistress brings the cane down hard
across both cheeks, leaving a nice red straight line under her panties.
Slut jumps and soon feels the stinging sensation of the bruising
kicking in. she whimpers and pleads "please stop". "So pathetic",
Mistress replies and once again, brings the cane down hard on the slut.
The sight of sluts ass jiggling every time she jumps puts a smile on
Mistresses face, and She lets out a most evil laugh. "Awwww poor little
nympho, show me where it hurts then". Slut obediently drops her panties
to reveal the swollen ass and 2 perfect lines which Mistress had
created. She slowly moves around the slut, bringing Her nails across
the swollen areas, digging in only slightly, aggrevating the already
painful parts. She spanks it playfully and smiles. "Good, now if You
would please, help me bring something out of my office." Slu obediently
follows Mistress to the small office space, all the time making sure
her eyes are kept downwards and her body exposed. As she walks in, she
sees Mistress pulling out a handcrafted set of medieval stocks,
complete with hands and head holes and spreader bar and chains behind
to hold the slut in place. "Help me drag this out into the corridor,
slut" Sluts eyes open wide and she stares in disbelief at the perfect
form in front of her. "You heard me correctly, now help!" Slut is
obedient and after several minutes, she manages to drag it out into the
school corridor for all who stay after school to see." The slut knows what to do next, and kneels behind it, pushing her head and arms forward. Mistress carefully locks her head and arms in place, before attending to her backside. "spread those legs" She orders and the slut does so immediately. The spreader bar is locked in place just before a crowd arrives. Mistress playfully sets the keys in the sluts mouth. "hold on to these for me slut" She says as She walks back into Her room. Meanwhile slut is left there, unable to do anything but stare at the new arrived staff audience. she closes her eyes and pretends this isnt happening, but is soon brought back to reality by the soft whispers and chuckles of the crowd. After what seemed like an eternity to her, Mistress came back with the same cane She had used before, and a few other toys. She places a blindfold over her eyes and the sluts world goes black. All she can hear are the whispers of the staff, watching. Soon, she hears once again the familiar clicking of Mistresses heels as She approaches once more. Silence fills the air, until a faint whisp of air fills the hallway. Slut soon feels a chill around her clit. she shivers as the chill travels up her tummy, past her button, over her nipples, up her neck, before she feels a pair of warm full lips softly kiss her cheek. slut moans between her teeth and crosses her legs together, as the arousal sets in. Mistress knows exactly what to do, and with a firm kick, moves her legs wide apart. slut bites her lower lip in anticipation as she feels the cool breath of Mistress gently brushes once again across her most sensitive part. slut moans, as Her teasing and starts to breath heavily. A small bead of sweat travels down her forehead, before falling to the floor. her clit is tormented. It wants to expand in arousal, to allow for the cum that longs to explode out of her, yet wishes to shrink to conserve heat. slut whimpers as she realises she has absolutely no control over her torture. Mistress lets out a most delightfully evil laugh. The hall is completely silent as an announcement comes over the loudspeaker. "Would all members of staff in the building please make their way to hall 2B". The hair on the back of sluts neck stands on end and a worried look washes over her face. she feels a cold metal object snap into place over her clit and hears Mistresses voice say "Good night pet". In the distance, slut can hear the rumble of feet, as everyone makes their way down the hallway. slut takes a big gulp, and from her dry throat lets out a long desperate wail.....END
7/18/2007 9:04:37 AM
THREESOME WITH MUM: Well i know the scene with Mum will make Mistress tingle, so i will finish that one first. Here is the story so far...... "Mistress would turn up at my door when the rest of the family is out. Mum would answer the door to fin Mistress in the sexiest red catsuit money can buy, whip in hand, and a smile on Her face. Once allowed in by me, She would make Her way upstairs, while i have the exciting task of explaining who She is. This of course would take some time, and Mistress would get impatient, and so She would come back downstairs to confront mum. With a soft touch and a bewitching stare(not to mention a kiss that made my knees wobble and my nipples harden), mum is quickly seduced to the bedroom. This slut follows to the door, but does not let herself in. From outside she can hear the animalistic moans of mum, and the low growl of Mistress. One can only imagine what is going on in there. Is She using Her strapon?, licking mums wonderful pussy? pinching and teasing those pert pale nipples? Or perhaps she is already bent over Her knee, and recieving spanks. I leaned closer to the door, lost my balance and fell into it, pushing it open. There i was, collapsed at the doorway, staring up at mum in a harness, with Mistress on top of her, using her hair as reins and penetrating deeply with Her strapon."I froze and mum went bright red. But Mistress didnt stop, and instructed me to walk towards us. I do as told and Mistress, stops, stands up and walks over to a chair in the corner of the room. "I think its time you lost your virginity to someone close to your heart, dont you think?" I sit, as mum looks at me in disbelief, but i must obey, and i strip down in front of her, exposing my short erect penis. Mum refuses to accept it, so i lean forward to grab her hair, and quickly start to face fuck her. Mum would never bite down on her son, and so, all she can do is sit and suck on the lollipop. "She is so obedient", Mistress says, standing up to get a closer look. I start moan and enjoy it, as i press my cock further down her throat, aiming for the back, but unable to reach, forcing me to thrust harder and as deep as i can go. The feeling of being inside mum made me fully erect, and soon i was edging, ready to burst inside her. I pumped harder and harder and was nearly there when a cane came down on my back. "Stop!" Mistress shouted, and i did. Mistress sat down in front of Mum and spread Her legs to reveal Her perfect pussy. Go ahead little one, she whispered to mum, who eagerly jumped forward to lap at that perfect, wet juicy slit. "She needs a little work out from the back end slut". Mum looked up, as she heard her little boy being called that name, but was interrupted as a dominant hand quickly pushed her face back down to a now gushing pussy. "Never stop girl, know your place." "Mistress..." I started to say, but was interrupted quickly with "Obey slut! Fuck her!" I was a little nervous about what mum would think, but i slowly pushed my tiny cock in. I think mum was trying to make me feel better, as she pretended to moan, but i knew i was too small to make anyone pleased. Still, i took the moan with a positive view and began to slide in and out of her, slowly at first, i didnt want to hurt mum. But then i realised, she has been fucked so many times by dads huge cock, my little prick would not hurt her at all, and so i start to thrust harder, slamming my pelvis into her ass, watching it slightly jiggle each time. I giggled, but was put back in my place by a sharp cane which came down on my back. I shrieked and mum turned around in alarm. Once again, she was pulled back, and i could only continue to do what i do best: please. From my position, i could not see much, only the bobbing of mums head. I could never see mum as a slut, but Mistress changes people, for the better. Mum could be who she truly wanted to be. This thought travelled from my brain to my penis and only made me pund harder at her firm ass. Mum by this point was breathing hevily and moaning so loud, i feared the neighbours would hear. What would they think of us? It didnt matter, and as mums orgasmic wails travelled through the night, i smiled. Who could have asked for more? END
7/17/2007 10:59:04 PM
Ok there are 4 entries i need to catch up on, and one which i feel will be nice to start. I need to finish the "Slut in the Dark" entry, the "Hospital" fantasy and the "Teacher" fantasy and finally the "Sleepover" scene. I will also be writing something which i will discuss later...t'is a secret for now. Ouch, lots of work, must get started.
7/17/2007 10:33:48 PM
Sorry I havent written a daily entry recently. But after filtering through a few messages, I now have a bit of time to myself to write. I would first of all like to say a little bit about the progress of my training for those who are following it. Today i have restarted the chastity after being in a state of chastity for 5 weeks. I would like to thank my Mistress for the support She has given me, aswell as the kind advice and support of Sir Bobtheslavebuilder. Thank You to both of You x. Release was difficult, i had mixed minds about what i wanted. On the one hand, i didnt want to let go. I had come this far and Mistress was so proud, i wanted to last the whole summer without a single orgasm. But on the other hand, chastity was becoming unbareable for me, it was affecting my everyday health and was keeping me from serving Mistress properly (although She did admit i was amusing to watch in my state :) ). However Mistress was kind, and insisted that my health must be put first, and so for the first time in 5 weeks, i had an orgasm. I must look forward now as the cage is put back on, and my focus is once again set on Mistress. Milking was attempted, i will say. But with little success. I wont discuss the details, as it may make a few of You squirm. Anyway, thats an update about my service. Now i must catch up on the entries which i have carelessly set aside, due to my annoying need for sleep, and time constraints, aswell as not actually being in the country. Oh and if any sub who is reading this, who is having difficulty with chastity and needs advice, dont hesitate to message me, i am happy to help others. In fact, if you want help with anything, go ahead and ask. Im friendly most of the time, and do bite on occassions ;) but i love to help others, so yes, please message me. :) ........ I think i know that girl with the Hooters shirt, she was in my 9th grade homeroom......
7/16/2007 3:45:25 PM
This worthless whore would like to make a formal apology to High Mistress Cara. This is not bribery, or a cry for sympathy. Today i was incapable of serving in a proper and polite manner, which was at the level of Mistresses expectations. I will be named and shamed with the following mistakes: Forgetting to address Mistress Cara as Mistress and instead chose the imformal and impolite title of Miss. This slut knows better after the extensive training She has given me. I also gave an order to Mistress, "come on". This is out of line for a submissive, who should know his place. A slut who takes orders and carries them out, nothing else, and certainly this slut should have no demands. This slut also made the stupid mistake of saying after a failure to orgasm with the kind help of Mistress, "I need something that sends me wild", indicating that Mistress was not adequete enough for me to orgasm. This was not what i meant, but a slut should never make excuses ever. It is not their place to, and certainly not mine. I would like to say now that Mistress is the one who has been in my mind every waking moment, Mistress is the one who has driven me sexually crazy and pushed me to the edge with on a simple command or a few words. To say that She incapable of all this is blasphemy. The final straw for this slut was to say that i was broken to Mistress, a simple error in words (i meant to say i am broken), but one that should not go unpunished. This slut is truly sorry for the pain she has caused, and is willing to do whatever it takes to amuse Mistress once again, in the knowledge that this mistakes will not be forgotten and certainly not unpaid. I humbly apologise Mistress, i dont want You to feel this way, You deserve far better.
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7/15/2007 3:55:40 PM
Its official, i have been broken. Chastity, once taken seriously (which im surprised to say most dont) hurts. It HURTS. Well i wrote the previous entry earlier today, and usually i am fine after an hour of pain. Today the pain has not gone away. Not only that, but the pain is bad, really bad. Its times like this where a sub doesnt beg to orgasm, because its been a while, and its been on my mind, and yeah ok it sometimes gets in the way of daily activities, this is a sub, on his knees, scared for his health, balls aching beyond belief non-stop, who, in the past has said he will never ask again for an orgasm. I am not going to ask, i am simply giving the facts and leaving not just my orgasm, but my health in Her hands. If that isnt submission, then what is? Mistress is not around today, and as instructed, i am not to contact Her on certain days. So i wait patiently, in agony, till monday. Despite all this i feel good, because i have not decided to give in. I am fighting it for Mistress, all thoughts of myself gone.... Thank You Mistress for showing me a world i could neverr have imagined myself.
7/15/2007 1:14:54 PM
I believe chastity is finally taking its toll on me. Today, something happened which truly scared me. I was sitting on my bed, brainstorming for my next entry, when Mistress, as She does on occassions popped into my head. She was taunting me, pushing me to my limits. I know i am not allowed to touch, and i will honestly say i did not do a single thing. I politely tried to block Her out. I know that Mistress would be prouder that i kept going with my chastity. But She stayed there, as soon, i was on the edge. My clit had grown bigger than it ever had before and my nipples perked up and my button craved to be touched. I panicked and started pacing the room in my pjs. Through the thin fabric you could see the bulging clit pushing through, and the nipples in my white vest were fully on display. Thank god everyone was out shopping. I started pacing more and my clit began to gush precum. I was wetting my pjs and didnt know what to do. I start to sweat and panic more. I wouldnt touch, it would only make it worse and would be a direct violation of Mistresses rules. No i would not touch at all costs. Soon, it grew more, i was not helping it all now, it seemed to have a mind of its own. I was getting nearer the edge, it couldnt get worse. But it did, my balls started to ache badly. So badly i was doubling over. Its like nathalie is having her first period pain. her first monthly (as i have been in chastity for a month) period pain. I started to whimper. Failing Mistress now is not acceptable. My pjs are now soaked through at this point.Just when i thought it couldnt get any worse, it did. You see recently, with chastity, even peeing turns You on, in fact, most things turn You on. I found a sperm shaped piece of onion in my coleslaw yesterday, i kid you not. Chastity takes over You and doesnt let go easily. And when i thought i could control myself, i felt the urge to pee kick in. The pressure on my bladder was not helping things, and the only way to relieve it was to pee, which, when You have the hardest erection you have ever had in your lifetime, is not the easiest thing to do in the world, in fact its almost impossible and i wasnt going to let the arousal of peeing push me over the edge. I was going to sit and wait it out. Easier said than done. I was now a wreck, sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for it to end. Eventually after 15 minutes of waiting, it did. My balls still ache and so do my kidneys. Still i continue to try and be that dream role...
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