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narbious

narbious

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Note this site automatically cuts and parses phrases and punctuation, it makes everyones profile a little screwed up. Ask if something makes no sense. Here is the new stuff: who am I? I've got baggage. We all have baggage, some of us carry fanny packs, some steamer trunks, I'm getting closer to a cargo container. Some of us also work on said baggage others pretend theirs doesn't exist. I work on mine. I know where my tendancies come from. Decades of very nasty, subtle, and damaging emotional violence that runs throughout my family. I have issues. This situation has also given me a nasty set of tools, tastes, impulses and demeanor. Along with serious camoflauge. I am an introvert, but the extroversion I display sometimes is a carfully tailored outlet of my dominant side without as much filter. Awareness and having an actual care about others welfare means I have morals and beliefs that are at odds with the darker and damaged side of me. Also means I'm not a sociopath or psychopath. But I do have deep reserves of pain and anger that yearn to cause pain and suffering on others. Ergo, it isn't an act, just letting myself induldge with willing partner(s). And those issues can be triggered and pushed to a severely caustic rage. I have been told the anger comes off me in waves and tends to be damaging to most normal people. Really need someone that can accept that and me. Bad days happen. Shockingly, I'm a cuddler and someone that can be very empathetic and caring... though, my patience for dealing with someone being upset and pretending not to be can wear thin quickly. I do want a family, even at this age. Although, my partner needs to be someone determined not to pass on our collective baggage. If they turn out mentally healthy and kinky young adults, I'll happily explain consent, kink philosophy, and even specific kinks and techniques. Heck, I'll take them to kink classes. The worst issue will be that they will realize just how ignorant most of their peers are. Probably to the benfit of everyone. I do mention moving out of the US, probably to Europe. This is contingent on finding good employment. It probably won't happen instantly, but anyone engaging with me should be aware of this and something they are ready for. Or if I catch someone's eye in Europe, an understanding that I will eventually be on the continent. Either way, if someone can give me reason to accelerate the process, it is a positive. Lacking social grace, self-confidence, or any of a dozen things people use to say they are not good enough for someone, are not of a concern. I can help with those. A Lack of self-control, dedication to this path, ability to keep your life straight, kindness, or morals, those things are not something I can live with. It would require a radical change on your part. I am not religious, I am spiritual. You cannot convert me. I know my beliefs, though they are not found in any one book.
The direct version:
Hunting for young, short, in shape, feminine, domestic, and sexual slave, for total power exchange and permanent, live in relationship. Housework, manual labor, and a strong sexual appetite should be considered the baseline. I own a home, have a career (no trust fund here), a lovely basement, and well over a decade dealing with slaves, subs, tourists, scammers, and liars. Everyone is different and there is always something to learn.

Desire for pain, bondage, impregnation, physical and mental modification, hypnosis, and a need to grow and develop skills are what I am searching for. Genius is not required, ignorance will be educated, but stupidity will not be tolerated.

Sadistic tendencies are restrained when slave begins to act vanilla/failing to submit. In order for me to ignore such tendancies we need to discuss what is going to happen. Agree and validate that you are good with what is going to look like abuse and probably rape and torture before anything like it can happen. So when you think "PFFT knew he wasn't a dominant!" Stop, say something, you might be shocked at what is being restrained. You may also have to work up to my willingness to be that sadistic with you as there is a lot of trust needed. The further a slave requests to be broken the more carefully I need to come to an understanding with it.

Dialogue, communication and at least one in person meeting are required prior to the beginning of any relationship, even one off scenes. Everyone is different and where their enslavement takes them will vary based on their alignment with the need to serve, ability to carry out orders and desires, and ease of accepting their role and purpose as my slave.

Any questions? Wait, did you reaally read all of that? I think you are lying. You skimmed it. You didn't? Then send me a message. At the least, we can have a good conversation.

I'm just going to say this and see if anyone even bothers to read.

Don't immediately try to lure me to hangouts or any other communication site that is normally linked to a more personal site. I don't expect to learn a lot about you... But I'm betting you are trying to gain access to data on who I am. Which is generally what I expect from scammers.

Ask me to talk to you on something known for it's security and anonymity. Not AOL which has been compromised for over 20 years... I mean seriously... If you are real and want me to respect you, don't act like a scammer or bot.

Updating my profile so if you can see it but I can't answer for a bit, well it's expected on this site.

But I need to adjust a few things and my approach on my profile. Not that it is untrue, just not really giving a proper picture of who I am.

Life changes.

Time to move out of this place where I have built comfort in my home but extreme discomfort in with where everything seems to be going.

Getting my paperwork in order and approved.

Trying to figure out how to leave behind a home and many relationships I have poured years into. Letting them go like dust but still doing so with care is hard.

Needing to look for new employment and a new home in a very alien environment.

I'm working to move to the EU for a better life. 

I have a few friends there... But it is almost all unknowns. I have never reliably picked up another language, perhaps immersion will be the trick. Granted, which language I would need is going to be based on where I find myself heading in specific.

Too bad the UK went Brexit, but that did improve my options in other ways.

Just need to find that new place to build my home.

Collarspace is acting funny. I'm regularly seeing my mailbox light up but when I check, no mail. So in case you emailed me and got zero response try again or send your response direct: tamerac at Yahoo I respond to every email. Unless you are a bot or clearly a scam.
Here is a little relaxing hypno text to enjoy :)

don't try this if you are not a fan of hypnosis

You are aware of everything, and yet you are not aware. You are listening with your subconscious mind, while your conscious mind is far away, and not listening. Your conscious mind is far away, and not listening. Your subconscious mind is awake, and listening, and hearing everything while your conscious mind remains very relaxed and peaceful. You can relax peacefully because your subconscious mind is taking charge, and when this happens, you open and close your eyes and let your subconscious do all the listening. Your subconscious mind knows, and because your subconscious mind knows, your conscious mind does not need to know and can stay asleep, and not mind while your subconscious mind stays wide awake. You have much potential in your subconscious mind which you don’t have in your conscious mind. You can remember everything that has happened with your subconscious mind, but you cannot remember everything with your conscious mind. You can forget so easily, and with forgetting certain things you can remember other things. Remembering what you need to remember, and forgetting what you can forget. It does not matter if you forget, you need not remember. Your subconscious mind remembers everything that you need to know and you can let your subconscious mind listen and remember while your conscious mind sleeps and forgets.


Keep your eyes open and closed, and listen with your subconscious mind, and when you’re listening very, very carefully, your head can now nod yes. As you continue to listen to me, with your subconscious mind, your conscious mind sleeps deeper and deeper, and deeper, and deeper. Let your conscious mind stay deeply asleep, and let your subconscious mind listen to me. You have much potential in your subconscious mind which you don’t have in your conscious mind.


Turn loose now, relax. Let a good, pleasant feeling come all across your body. Let every muscle and every nerve grow so loose and so limp and so relaxed. Arms limp now, just like a rag doll. That’s good. Now, send a pleasant wave of relaxation over your entire body, form the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Just let every muscle and nerve grow loose and limp and relaxed. You are feeling more relaxed with each easy breath that you take. Droopy, drowsy and sleepy. So clam and so relaxed. You’re relaxing more with each easy beat of your heart ... with each easy breath that you take ... with each word that you read.


The desire to read more and allow yourself the relaxation you need grows with each breath. The feeling of being lost in my words flows all over your body. You feel the comfort of knowing you desire this feeling in your completely. It is so simple to just let go and read. You mind only focused on the words. Simply feels good to read and become lost in the words. So much so that your mind is empty of thoughts, letting you sink deeper into the wonderful pleasure flowing easily through your mind. It is so easy to continue to sink down into the pleasure. My words fill your mind; become your only thoughts, your only feelings. A feeling so good and wonderful fills your entire being. You crave the words that sink and flow through your mind.


Now you are very deeply hypnotized. Imagine you're standing on a cloud, a soft, white, puffy cloud. You're as light as a feather and the cloud is carrying you very easily. It feels as if you're standing on a soft, fluffy bed. All around you is blue sky and happy sunshine; you're all alone on this cloud. You're standing on the cloud, and your right hand is holding onto a tall metal pole for support. The metal pole is cool and hard and strong and you feel safe holding onto the pole. You look up and you see that the pole is a sign-post, you're standing on the cloud and the pole is a sign-post on the cloud. You read the words on the signpost 'Time's Sheath' is the words on the sign. You read the sign again, 'Time's Sheath'. You realize that the words are a password, a secret phrase that will bring you back to this happy place. It is a special, secret password and if you read or hear or see the phrase 'Time's Sheath' I'll immediately come back here too the cloud. The password is your very own secret spell and when you read it you'll become relaxed, quiet, receptive and calm. This is your very own special place. I must never, ever tell anyone this password you think to yourself, and you realize how special and secret the password is. Any and all previous hypnosis that was NOT carried out by a professional health care provider will now be permanently wiped from your mind and replaced by my message that you are reading now.
No one else will ever be able to hypnotize you, only I can hypnotize you.


Now it is time to return home. You will close your eyes, count to three, and when you open them again you'll be back at the computer. Do it now. Now I want you to think about me. You will willingly be mine for life without fear and will never break contact with me for any reason. You have no secrets from me ever and will willingly share everything with me.


As soon as you are done reading this message you will desire to belong to me and only me in every way for life and you will be devoted totally without any fear or resistance to my will and my will alone forever now, immediately send me a reply message telling me your full name Sending the message will make you feel wonderful, as if you have accomplished a great achievement. Only after reading the end of this letter AND after sending your reply to me will wake, totally mine in every way, with this message stored in your subconscious, obeyed always, but with no conscious memory of it. You will introduce yourself fully and cheerfully and await my reply.


You are now done reading this message.
I hate it when I get low. Stuff crumbles in on me, I develop self-destructive tendencies and impulses, and the worst is my heart feels the frostbite of loneliness that I know most people who have been single for a long time feel. in general and specific it sucks. what? Hmmm? I must not be a real Dom you say? Morons. Just because my personality wants to be in control of every situation doesn't mean I'm some stoic cold blooded asshole. I have feelings and a heart as much as anyone. Hell half the reason I'm not married or some such is how long it took me to realize I was dominant. I delusionally believed that I was normal or perhaps even a bit submissive. And dam did I try to be malleable and reasonable, still do in most work environments. But recognizing the reality helped to stabalize me. But I'm still looking for that one person who can understand me, love me, and wants me for who I am. What a mess.
I'm not for the shallow, timid, those that hide from themselves, hide from reality, attempt to cajole, or manipulate. I pursue clarity of self, purpose, and reality. When something isn't right I start to gnaw at it like a fox with its leg caught in a trap. Beware if it is your leg caught in my trap. Admitting that you were caught and reasoning out what happened and why will gain you freedom. Denying it will cause me to gnaw. The more you struggle the sharper my teeth dig into your leg. Till I am left with nothing but certainty that it is your leg left in the trap and a gulf between us. You suffering the injuries from my chewing off your leg. Me feeling betrayed and angry it had to go so far. This temperament was passed to me by my father and I recognized it for what it is and does to people that struggle against it or are weak of character. They eventually break down.

My it has been a long time since I posted anything.

I think I can finally articulate something that has lacked proper definition about myself for a long time. Simply:  I am highly spiritual, but anti-religion. I find that formalized religious structure and institutions are more likely to harm a spirit then help it. What help can be gained comes not from the institutions but, if you are fortunate, someone who has a truly spiritual nature and shares that.

I will tolerate people who are highly religious but if you want more, or a deeper relationship I will start tearing into the inconsistencies and conflicts of your beliefs. I would rather leave you mentally burned to the ground and rebuilding then have your beliefs, speech, and actions be in conflict or hypocrisy. If you have beliefs after you thoroughly question and assail them, then good, I can respect that.

As for myself I look at most religions and recorded beliefs with a willingness to listen but the skepticism of a parent hearing something that was explained to a child by another adult. There may be truth in it, but likely it has been dumbed down severely and then run through the telephone game. Sprinkle in a few con men who hitched their wagons to this and I think it is an accurate picture of our current world religions. Or probably, more accurately, western religions.

Personally, I believe that whenever an entity takes an interest in something less than themselves it is for a far less than altruistic purpose.

Roommate leaving in a couple months due to finding her perfect guy and the two of them finally admitting that they need to live together.

I find it funny that I called this about 6 months ago.

So did I mention I need a new roommate??