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| I started out as a sub in a relationship way back when I was living in a dorm in grad school, say around 1990. Had a great partner and we kind of naturally transitioned into our roles while at the same time having a lot of fun. I continued to explore submission for about the next 12 years, though with a few Dom experiences. I’ve had a wide variety of experiences and have enjoyed them and the feelings of closeness and belonging they have brought me. For the past couple of years I’ve been in hiatus so-to-speak. Sorting out my feelings and where I’d like to go from here. And that is … I’m moving myself into the Dom column. I feel like I’ve had the experience of submission and I know the feelings of a submissive. How I have felt in giving of myself. But I’m seeing things from the other side of the street now. I see myself as the person who can make those feelings real for my partner, and as someone who can take my pleasure in my partners submission. The center of where I’d like to go is Control. Control with Consequences as I’ve come to refer to it while crystallizing my thoughts. Control representing my desire to enter into my partners being and in fact be her guiding force. But also letting her display her devotion in her willing submission to my ever growing influence. I really think my ideal partner would crave the opportunity to be guided by another and be willing to give up a significant amount of her free will. Consequences implying that there is a motivating factor, it’s tangible and real discipline, both physical and emotional. Rewards for the good, punishment for the bad. The dominant guiding and molding his partner.
There is more of course. I could go on and on. And I’d be happy to if you might be interested. Please keep in mind, I am a very affectionate and loving person. If I mead out punishment it is done in love, as it has been done to me (on a good day). I don’t confuse punishment and an ongoing romantic relationship.
I just like to take a second to address some of the points which women (quite rightfully) make in their postings. First, I not “pushy” or “forward” like some of the jerks you describe. I’m always a gentleman particularly when getting to know someone. I’m not an opportunist either, I’m much more interested in finding a partner whose needs we can each other complement. I’m very much a get-to-know me first kind of person and have even been accused of taking too long.
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Based on some of the replies I've been getting I should make this point. This is a relationship for a submissive who really wants to get to know her submission. There will be times when it is hard work and believe me, I know how to push your buttons. But there will also be moments of tender devotion. You should see this as your greatest reward, that and your service. |
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