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Whispered kisses through lonely nights
Silent tears through mine eyes
In my heart a longing lies
Tie my heart in silken ties
Iron will submissive pain
Only from Master to slave
Moonsembrace |
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All my life I have been told I was not pretty enough. I wasen't thin enough. I was to light or to dark. That my ass and tits are to big. There was always something wrong with me. People my own age don't seem to see my attactiveness. It has always been older men and wemon that seem to like me. When I was 16 my first master was 28. He gave me my first kiss and was the first person to show me what pleasure another person could show my body. We never had sex but he showed me so much. Showed me I was Pretty. Showed me my bodys power. I love the pain. The tug of hair. The sting of a crop or whip. The strain af bondage and I haven't turned back. Now I look for a Master to fulfill a missing element.
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I know...... I know your out there because I dream of you. Of how your body feels next to mine. Of how my body reacts to you. You are out there. I do not know whether your male or female. But I know the feel of your hands on my flesh as you touch me and the pain of each exquisite torment you shall bestow upon me. Each pleasurable pain. The sting of a whip or the sweet pain of you pulling my hair. But I know your out there and I shall wait for you. My future tormentor, lover, punisher, friend but most importantly Master. I know your out there and I wait with hope and patience for someday I will find you and give myself to you and that day will be glorious for a slave will find her Master. |
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Oh! How that phrase haunts me. Even when I sleep. "Yes Master" it sends bolts of pleasure down my spine. Just remembering the thrill it gave me. "Yes Master please abuse Slave Master". That and more running through my head. Every pull of my hair, every whip strike, the tightness of every restraint, the collar digging in to my tender throat, "please Master give me more Master", and other thoughts running through my head. They send my body into heat. Each Master unique but all the same in a couple things. They used me and abused me and I loved them for it. Each bite and restraint, each slap and command telling me how much they care. How I look forward to a new Master or Mistress waiting for someone to own me again.
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I need it. The slap of skin on skin. The smell of sex and fear. Never knowing what will happen next. What I will have to do next. Will I have to be tied up in ropes or walked outside naked like a dog. I need that suspence the thrill of giving my body and soul to a Master. I know its out there the pain pleasure and torment. I know that soon someone will come to dominate me. They will come to abuse every hole every part of my body. They will whip me till my ass is red and shove there cock inside my pussy as my ass burns from each welt. When that day comes I will glory in it and the pleasure it will give me. But for now I wait in my tormented state of unsatisfaction.
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Is there anyone out there close to me that gets it. Who really knows what I need. Knows how to take me over. Make my do what they want. Make me get on my knees and show them how much I want them to be my Master/Mistress. Knows exactly how to bend me over and spank me untill my ass is red and my pussy is wet. Anyone who knows what a real sub is and how to treat one. How to make me scream in pain and moan in pleasure. Someone who can play my body till it sings but make me hold the orgasem till maximum peak. Knows how topunish me if I cant. I need it so bad. I cant think right I am so horny all the time. Who out there is stronge enophe for me to call Master or Mistress. Who out there can take this flame inside me and stoke it till it blazes. I hope your out there somewhere. |
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Oh yes Master you can abuse me.
And god yes please use me.
No Master please dont stop.
Fuck me harder give me every drop.
Im shaking Master my pussys so wet.
No Master not one regret.
Please Master let me cum.
Yes Master you are my only one. |
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Master are you out there? I know you are becuase your in my dreams. You come to me and give me exacly what I need. I plead for you to use me. Im screaming out your name. My heart races my body pulses as you wring out every pleasurable pain. You can use me Master any way you please. Put me on my knees or dont let me cum. Spank me tie me up its all fun. Make my pain your pleasure. Master do you hear me. Make my dreams come true. Someday Master Ill be slave to you |
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Master.........I cant wait. Ever second every min that goes by I think of all the pleasure and pain. Master I need you. Need that strong Unrelenting Domimating hand to lead and guide me. Oh Master how can I wait. How can I servive. It eats at me...........my thoughts of submission. They haunt me untill they take over my dreams...........Im in a dark room nothing can be seen it is pitch black. I am tied kneeling down in the middle of a room hands above my head. Suddenly a door opens and a figure is standing there. I cannot see his face as he steps closer. The only thing I can make out is what is in his hand. A riding crop. My body tightens in anticapation as he walks to stand behind me. He pulls back and as the crop would reach my skin I bolt awake breathing heavy my pussy soaking wet. See Master. See how even my dreams scream for Domination. How then am I suposed to keep living this mundane life when I could be withering in glorious pain? Drowning in pleasure? |
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Have you ever felt that something in your very soul is calling you. "look at me see me" it calls. For the longest time I tried to be vanilla and I was never happy fulfilled. Satisfied. It taunted me "who are you kidding this isent you" I tried to ignore it tride to be "normal" but what is normal. Well to me its giving my mind body soul heart to my submission. Everything I am and will be. I will no longer hide from myself. Becuase thats what I was doing. Not the world my family my friends but myself. Now I love me. I am confident in my submission. Secure enophe in myself to give up control. To give every ounce of myself over to a Master. I am ready to explore myself in this world of pain humiliation extasy and pleasure. I feel free. Free to be me. Thats all I want to feel free fulfilled safe and satisfyed happy in being me. submissive and all. I dont hide it I wear my collers(my own for now until someone ownes me) proudly and with dignity. |
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I have learned alot from a close friend of mine. He told me I was pure. I asked him pure what. He said pure submission. I thought about what he said and tried to understand. so I decided to try to see what he sees. I want to please what submissive dosent. I want to give my being to someone to have and protect. Not just my heart soul and body but my very being. I want to give everything I can with little thought to my wishes. I do not like to say no. I am loyal to a fault. I obay even when I do not have to. I take care of everyone around me. Becuase I care. I love fully and with all my heart even when its not returned. I solve my problems peacefully and with care. I am free with answers to any questions even if I dont want to answer them. I hate the way I look even thought people say I am pretty. I care when a stricked look is thrown my way if deserved. I do not cave under pressure but thrive. when pushed I suceed. When told to do something I do and in a timely fassion. I do not stall though I am shy. I give my everything to no matter what I do including my submission. Is that pure submission. I dont know what do you think?? |
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Oh was my night glorious fantastic wonder-full. Every welt and bruse and cut like paint strokes on a master piece. I feel revitalized refreshed and renewed. I feel free. My eyes are open and I will not close them. More.......I want so much more. Every bite of pain was like a signal flashing bright within my mind pointing the way down my path to my true self. To being happy. Don't let this relization end. Never end. Let it consume me take me over and never let me from its hold. Don't fear my consumption for I am filled with contentment....wonder. i am happy. I am free. I am me. And I am sub. |
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It haunts my dreams and thoughts its turned into an obsession! I beg and plead my Master he teases me waiting......... already knowing his answer. But I rejoice when he tells me to find the right person. I hope your out there and ready to help make my fantasys come true. All that domination directed at me turning my body to fire. My strong need to please worshiping them as they dominate me. Oh how delicious! It makes my body hum just thinking about all the sensations. The intensity! Oh my body trembles and throbs with each imagining. To my futur love I burn for your touch on bated breath I wait for you to show yourself and to my Master I thank you on on my knees for fullfilling my every desire knowing it full fills yours. |
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How can something that hasent happened yet fog my brain and enter my every thought. Images dance within my mind swirling withering entrancing me. I dream of them. Feeling two pairs of hands branding my flesh with there claim. Pushing me to respond to feel the same to give them everything. I am high on sensation feeling my body burn waiting for them to thrust into my willing submissive body. I tremble with the waiting reaching for that which I have not felt.........and then I wake shaking wanting needing. Oh I hope it happens soon that fantasy so close but just out of reach without that other partner. Are you out there? I hope to conjer you out of my dreams to full fill my fantasys in the flesh. |
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You don't let me hide. You keep my self esteem safe. You make me feel sexy. Not hiding me from the day to let others see and apreciate the beauty I just relised I have and you bask in there admeration knowing I am yours. You unfold me from this shap I have tucked myself into exepting and molding the new me. I feel free with you Daddy Master Lover Friend. You let me live my fantasies without judgment or discust. No you live them with me. And when you dont you give me what most won't freedom to explore not only myself but others with your blessing and trust. With each encounter I love you more. You know not how much you give me by lending me to others with that knowing smile on your face. For you will be here waiting to reclaim me when I return. |
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I feel so wound up. Though I have had release there is something missing. That hard damanding over powering amazing feeling of being used. Don't get me wrong I love being taken care of but being used gives me a satisfaction that other sexual experiences cant. It sky rockets my arousal to another level. Flooding my thighs with wetness and washes my brain clean of only the sensations I'm having.(which is hard for me because of my adhd) It frees my body to just feel. I miss that miss the carnel feelings of cumming while being used even thou there only intention is to take there pleasure or being forced to wait orgasme building and building until it drives you insane with want. Clawing at air unable to find a hold of anything else becuase my body is restrained. Pleading over and over to cum while being denied. And if you are granted release it is the most wonderful amazing thing in the whole world. I miss that. |
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It grows and builds every moment sending pulses threw my body. Every breath a sexual sensation. Tension rises bodies tremble and hands itch to touch. Every heart beat rushing blood to places readying themselves..........preparing for exstasy. |
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Disclaimer please read the story after the poem its worth it thank you.
Do you see me I'm right here......I'm screaming jumping up and down......but you can't see me.
You aknoladge my presents but you don't really see me......see how much I love you.... how much I try.
I know I'm not perfect I can't be because I'm broken.....shattered into little prices always trying to be whole.
I know its not fair to ask you to take this broken shattered remnent of a person.....but I love you even if its not fair to you......I'm sorry......sorry I'm not whole I don't think I ever was.....I was always broken.
Always cracked to my soul.....I have tried everything to fill in my crevices and smooth out the dents.....you are the only thing that has ever come close.....but alas I am still broken.
It is not you......I do not know how to let you in......explain my brokenness.......let my guard down to let you see.....see my brokenness.
I don't know if I can.....no one has seen me......I don't let them......I don't want them to see how I'm broken......how I'm not whole.....no ones ever tried that hard to see past my carefully venered serface of smiles and pain........of joy and of laughter.
I don't know if I want them to........what if I'm to broken.......even for others who are broken. I......I want to be whole.....I do.......becuase i love you........but I don't know how........help me for I'm lost......scared........and alone surrounded by people.
Moonsembrace
So I'm not going to lie at first I wrote this for a man and it saddened me to the very core. But after I wrote this in the middle of the night I played down and prepared to cry myself to sleep. But as I laid there I realized something. I did not write this for him. I wrote this to myself. I had forgotten how to love and except myself. And I know its corny but I remembered and it relived me. I had forgotten that I need to love myself. That I do love myself. That I am the only one who can fix myself. I know this is all clich?ut relizing this remembering this brings me half way to making myself at least somewhat whole. I know I won't be completely whole but I will be proud of my cracks and dents because they make me a well lived in person. |
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The quarrel that goes on in my head between my bratty side and my submissive when I sigh.
Master: What's wrong pet.
Pet: nothing (cut to inner monologue)
Brat: *pouts* then *sighs*
Sub: what's wrong
Brat: nothing
Sub: obviously that's not true
Brat: fine this sucks
Sub: what sucks
Brat: I wanted to be beaten and fucked. I should have got what I wanted.
Sub: you know it dosent work that way stop being a baby
Brat: no you stop being a baby
Sub: really mature there
Brat: I don't care I'm a princess and I deserve to be treated like one
Sub: oh get over yourself
Brat: you know what bite me
Sub: not my job
Brat: well its some ones job and there not doing it
Sub: oh calm yourself we will get there
Brat: *jumps up and down* well I want it now
Sub: ya that's going to get you what you want
Brat: * plops down and starts to cry*
Sub: now don't do that there's no need for that
Brat: *crys harder*
Sub: oh come now pull yourself together
Brat: *wails* your so mean to me
Sub: *walks over pats B on the head* come now it will be all right
Brat: * looks up cross* well I know that still dosent get me what I want
Sub: oh for fucks sake why do I talk to you
Brat: cus you love me everyone loves me
Sub: ok I'm done I'm not talking to you right now *walks away*
Brat: wait.....wait come back....get back here...................bitch
(Back to reality)
Master: Well good night pet
Pet: good night Master
Inner brat: Fuck you to Master
Inner sub: oh give it a rest.
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