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Domfortheone
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Humor and intelligence catch my eye every time. Detailed Profiles are the ones that I will keep going back to.
DO write the way You speak. That is, saying u for the word "you" is ok once in a while, but please do NOT make a habit of it. Grammar is kind of a pet peeve of mine. Do not talk like a little kid, or talk like Elmer Fudd { whom i really don't like much, by the way}. Be articulate.
I talked with a Dom that kept saying good night to me as "Ni Ni".. That was a turn off right there; a simple "good night" works just fine.
No married Doms, or Dom/me couples, please. I am not bi, or even bi-curious, nor would I be interested in poly relationships. It just isn't me.
For me, any possible D/s relationship is a mental connection first. I am a plus sized woman. If you want a Barbie doll, move on please. Doms, please have a profile of the basics about You, and interests.
What is BDSM for me? First and foremost, a mental connection. The physical can be great, but in order for me to enjoy the physical closeness, or even to GET physical at all, there has to be some mental connections and stimulation. If it's not there, it can't be forced, but neither would I be interested to continue speaking to that one. I get bored easily. I realize I may bore some people too, and that's fine. No one is all the same, thank goodness!..
A Dom just recently called me annoying, and that's ok, cause he is looking for a slave. I doubt that I would ever be one. I have had to be the decision maker a long time, being a single parent for some time now. I may wish to submit, but it wouldn't be 24/7 for me. That is the beauty of D/s- it is unique for each Dominant and sub or slave. While slaves are submissive, not all submissives are slaves. Not all Doms can truly grasp that- or choose not to.
As I said, I am a single mom, and my first priority is to my kid. That is my role as a mother, and THAT role takes precedence over any other role/responsibility I may have. It's called real life, being a parent. A Dominant worthy of that title will realize this, and won't make a big hoopla about it.
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I recently had a DOm complain about my profile, said I was complaining too much. One, that profile was like 3 years old. It's been a LONG time since I have been on this site. Number two, I like to think that we all change, so yes, I DID re write it some. Finally, and most importantly, there wil be a LOT of people that wouldn't have liked my profile, which was fine by me, cause at least the mails i DID get were from people that were a lil interesting. It was me getting a lot of things out in the open straight away, so neither my time nor the other's got wasted. It weeded out of lot of jerks for me ahead of time. I had to deal with a lot of things on my own, without any help from a male.
Yeah, I have trust issues, despite the fact that I DID have submissive tendencies. However, I think that a lot of guys out there still don't realize that just because one says she is a sub, that she will submit to just anyone. Shoot if I did that, what would my submissiveness mean? To me, it is a gift that I give to One, a Dominant that would be worthy of that title, One that has EARNED my trust, not demanded it. Trust and respect is something that has to be earned, period, so if a guy has trouble dealing with that, it isn't going to bother me. If anything, it is more of an ego problem with HIM. At least, I had stated what to expect about some things from me.
Anyway, I have to say this. A LOT of things have happened over the past few years, and I have to admit, it has affected my desire to actively seek a Dom, and be in the D/s lifestyle... It is not that I don't believe in it, it's just that when I am the one having to make some important decisions, and have to be both mother and father ( cause yeah, you guessed it, the father isn't part of his kid's life ), and just dealing with some other things in life, those have a tendncy to take more priority, ya know?
AM I willing to go through the search again? I can honestly say I am not sure. What I CAN say, and HAVE said is this, though: ANY start of ANY D/s relationship , should start out as friendship first. I would wish to know the Dom as a person first, and make my decision as to whether or not I feel that He'd be One I could submit to on a deeper level.
I am 44 years old, and really don't think that sounds unreasonable. I think it sounds realistic and logical. I am passionate and loyal, but I don't share that with just anyone.
Please remember, that I am not the only person in a potential relationship. My decisions could affect my kid, and I have to think of that first and foremost. It's called being a parent.
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i went to have lunch withthis Dom Monday afternoon. He was nice and all, but for me at least, a few things turned me off immediately, although he didn't realize it........ i normally don't go for guys with a beard. Not allthe time, as some really DO look good with it, but normally, i just don't care for it. Usually don't like mustaches eaither. It's just one of my idiosyncracies.... Hey, we all have our preferences, right????.........Ok, now just a quick word to those that don't take care of their teeth properly : START BRUSHING PROPERLY, AND FLOSS!!!!...... Guys, - and i am sure that many of you feel the same way about this - yellowish-brownish -looking teeth are a MAJOR turnoff!!!!!!..........i am NOT a Dentist, nor a DEntal Hygienist, but i AM big on keeping the teeth nice looking...... My ex had bad teeth, and i really did try to look past that, cause he had other things going in his favor (in the beginning, anyway ) , but as time wore on, his teeth, the way they looked - they really became an eyesore...... As a kid even, i was very regular about brushing and flossing......... Let me ask ya'll this : When you smile at a woman, especially one you are meeting for the first time, do you REALLY want her to see all those teeth looking stained and uncared for? DO you really think people don't make snap judgements about you, if your teeth look ugly??????? Trust me, they DO..... Men- Dominant or sub/slaves- or just men in general, heck - PLEASE brush your teeth better, and floss.... Not a pretty sight, to be looking at plaque and God only knows what else, ok??? It's just plain GROSS !!!!..........Anyway, this guy i went out with, his teeth weren't so nice looking, and it just turned me off. He is nice, yes, and seems prettty intelligent, well travelled, but that doesn't matter to me now..... The guy has pretty ugly looking teeth, and that tis amajor no no...... DO open the car door for the women, DO opern the door when going into an eatery. DO put your phon eon vibrate or silent if you are out with her, unless you have kids, and they need to get in touch with you.........
So as nice as this guy was, in several things i wasn't impressed much. There wasn't much of a connection for me mentally, OR physically, once i found out he had abeard, adn i saw his teeth....... Not opening the car door or the door to the restaurant- which is just plain courtesy, i think- kind of sealed it.... |
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There may be soem disagreement with this, but i believe meeting each other- especially for the first time- should be on the sub or slave's turf. Why? SAFETY. This way, if things aren't going well, she can get up and leave. i think a Dom would wish for the sub to feel as much at ease as possible. This kind of things can be pretty nerve wracking, you know? It's bad enough in the vanilla world, but in the realm of a possible D/s dynamic, it can be even more so, hence the need for communication, getting to know one another.
Talking won't happen much, if both parties don't meet on neutral territory, and if the sub feels like she doesn't have a way out....
Of course, she could always just say no, or not show up, if she feels that cornered.............Anyway, from the short talks this Dom and i have, there is enough of a common ground that i feel will make this situation calm and relaxed.....Oh, i wil be nervous, and wil probably trip over my words a few times. I get nervous anytime i have to meet someone new....i don't feel the jitters will last long, though, and feel that at the very least, i may gain a good friend.............
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So much for spoacing things out. Grrrr. I broek up th ethings i said, started separate paragraphs, and everything still got clumpled together. i apologize for th elong read; it's why i was trying to break up the paragraphs by a couple of lines..........Have spoken to one of the Doms from here, and wil be meeting with Him probably in a couple of weeks. i like the fact that if i DO start talking to One, He is easy to talk to on the phone. If there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness, then i might be more apt to meet in person......... This is a casual meeting- i don't want dinner. Lunch is just fine, for a first time, or we may just have a drink. i think in this case, it will be lunch..... No, i don't have romantic feelings for him. How can i, when we just started talking not long ago ? Meeting a Dom does not meean the Dom and sub are then in a relationship, but rather, is merely the testing ground to see if they might be just friends, or if there IS a possibility that it may develop into something else........ |
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Ohhhhhhhkay, folks, i was told i ask a lot for a submissive. i do have a response for that, naturally; that remark made me laugh, and really lit a fire under me. So here is my answer to that, and ya'll will maybe see some of that outspokenness poking through a wee bit *weg*
To the One that said i ask a lot for a submissive..... DUHHHHHHH. Yeah, i do, why shouldn't i? Like the Doms don't want a lot out of th eone They would want for their own???? Come ON ! Is there any reason why i shouldn't have any expectations??? Excuse me, God gave me a brain; i am NOT some brainless twit, who wil just say yes to everything. That is so not me. i like to know the why of things sometimes, and if it doesn't soun d right to me, then no, i won't agree right away, not without some further discussion.
To me, a remark like that sounds like it comes from a person that feels threatened, or is not so secure in who he is, what he is.
i don't think a true Dominant expects a sub or slave to go for evrything; we all have preferences, individual tastes, in food, music, movies, and yes, what we are looking for in a person .... i know a lot of my personality. i am strong willed, can be stubborn and impatient, and like i said, i can be opinionated, and like to speak my mind at times.
Howerv, i can be very loving, patient too, giving, and wanting to do for another. It doesn't mean, though, that i am going to be that way to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, so soem people wil naturally give me some sort of backlash for trying to stay as close as i can to my own self.
i have more patience with animals than i do people. i don't like playing mind games, and hate office politics; i htink people should get recognized for doing a good job, and treated fairly. i know it doesn't happen like that- there are a LOT of butt kissers.
Listen, we all have had htings happen to us that shape our desires, our wants and needs. As time wears on, perceptions change, and needs change as well. i have met a few people that said were Doms, and were sooo not.. i have had to deal with a lot of jerks online, that think that just becasue a girl is a sub or slave, that she should serve him or call him Sir, etc.... Ohhh Man! Idiots liek that will find out otherwise right quick ! Nothing gets the hackles up quicker than that misconstrued attitude.
So yeah, i DO ask a lot for a submissive. i am going to be 41 in April- an Aries - and have had to deal with a lot of crap. If there IS a Dom out there for me, great. If not, then i wil have had the pleasure fo knowing a few that i can call friends, perhaps, and get some good advice from them when i need it.
Many men want women to have a Barbie- type figure. How unrealistic is THAT? We are all built differently, have different metabolisms, and excuse me, not everyone looks good that skinny.
Submission is a surrending , a yielding, of one's self, whether it's just for a set period of time, or on a more permanent basis. That surrendering takes trust. Realistically, can i trust everyone i meet? No. Not everyone is trustworthy, not every Dominant will be able to deal with me, nor will all of them like me. i won't like all of them, either, so why wouldn't i ask a lot ?
Doms have expectations, subs and slaves do too. i htink that we SHOULD ask a lot- try to weed out those that are flaky immediately, and start whittling down. Who will stay? WHo will go? Who will listen when times get tough and you need someone to talk to? Who can put up wiht the mood swings when a girl has PMS, or likes soem things she does, like history, movies, music, i.e ?
The dynamics of a D/s relationship are a lot more intense, i think, from the everyday vanilla. i think any sane submissive or slave would ask a lot; after all, we are talking about possibly putting ourselves into the care of Another. That is not aneasy thing to do. Why should a sub or slave settle? That could spell disaster. In any relationship, people come with soem sort of baggage, and not everyone can deal with their partner's. dealing with our own issues can be hard enough at times.
i ask a lot because if i did get in arelationship, i would want the Dom's persoanlity and experiences to compliment my own....
We are not talking commonalities in Kink here... D/s is Dominance and submission. Submission requires trust. Trust will lead to a deeper layering of the relationship. Now throw in there, besides the D/s and kink play, things that happen in everyday life. There are kids, school, maybe college that one or the other goes to, job schedules, etc....
It takes a lot of frogs to find th e Prince, and even then, the Prince isn't always there, either... As a sub, i HAVE to ask a lot, so that i can have a better idea whom i might wish to give myself to, for when i DO yield, He wil have shown me a great deal of His character, and i will of mine, to Him.....
This lifestyle is intense. Safety is important, and how can a girl start to feel even a little biut safe, if she doesn't ask a lot of another, or at least, ask a lot of questions, so that she can get to know the Dominant better????
This entry has probably rubbed some people the wrong way, and then there wil be some who will think my stance valid....
Food for thought, anyway.
soul
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Dang, it's not Friday yet?? *sighs*.. Well, one can always hope, eh? This past day or so hasn't been peaceful; it's been a struggle in some areas, and i am thankful for the ones i was able to speak with, that helped to give me back a semblance of emotional balance. Yeah, i was kind of stressed out about something, and is NOT good for my blood pressure. Right now, have been having some bad headaches, so have just been focusing on one day at a time. Sometimes, life deals you stuff, that it's all you CAN do.
Anyway, as a submissive, i am not easy to dominate. i know that sounds like a challenge; it is not really meant as one. It's just that i know i am stubborn- we all have faults.
Hmm let's see- i am French and German on my Da's side, Irish and Cherokee on my mother's, so you already know there are going to be sparks rigth there lol.. Yes, i can be temperamental, and believe me, i have to deal with that everyday... i am sassy, but do try to be respectful towards other Dominants, male or female. Unless i have seen through their remarks and actions, or feel that they don't deserve it. I can still be polite, but there are many that no, i have no respect for. Then there are some that just have that Presence. i don't have a better word for it, really.
There was a time that even though it was an online relationship, that i was in the Dominant position, over a male sub. i did that because it was a friend of mine, and he asked me to. i trusted him, so i agreed. Those that knew me remarked a few times on how i was seeming to be more of a Dominant than a sub; my friend Dom, the One i have known a lot of years now- He said at that time, that He thought i might actually be a true switch. Ahhh, some are shuddering over that! lol
i admit, i do have soem Dominant traits. i can be shy yes, but i don't believe i play coy, and i don't believe in acting bratty. i don't care much for those that act pouty and bratty, nor for the Dom/mes that seem to condone. But hey, if it makes them happy , that's their things, but i won't spend much time with them.
If you ask me a question, hmm there are time i can be pretty outspoken. i have opinions. God gave me a brain, and i use it. If, as a Dom, i start getting hit on, or One thinks i HAVE to call Him Sir, or even call a Domme Ma'am, just because they wish it, well that is too bad.
I Sir and Ma'am whom i wish.. If after a time i don't feel respect for that Dominant, most like as not, i won't be giving them that title. i will be polite, but i don't HAVE to call every Dom "Sir"
I tend to do so, at least in the begining, because that is the way i was brought up, and after living in Texas for 4 years, heck we Sir and Ma'am things to death!!!
My best friend is a sub from England, and when she and i would get online in a room, of we didn't agree with soemthing- well, she was th emore outspoken of us two, but i had my fair share of giving a good piece of my mind, and being having no qualms in voicing my opinion. MOst of it stemmed from a Dominant that was ating like a jackass, or in defense of a sub we thought was being mistreated... Many a time, it was on a topic that was brought up in a room, and quite a few times, it was about the "Sir" and " Ma'am" issue. We got plenty vocal about it.
It alienated some, but it also showed who our friends were, too. Sometimes, i would speak out becasue of the manner someone was speaking to my sis; we are loyal to each other, and in my opinion, friendship involves loyalty, and it counts for soemthing.
When a lot of people in the online room could be real jerks anyway, i didn't really care if what iu said offended them. No, i didn't curse. Not out loud, anyway !
ANyway, this entry is done for th etime being. Time to get to work. Have a good day!
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i had made mention of preferring the Dom to be taller than myself. That is a preference- nothing is set in stone. i am 5 feet 8, and like i said, i dated a couple of guys who were either the same heught, or shorter than me. It wasn't a good experience.
If the Dom has a certain presence, and is secure in himself, that is the main thing.
if i DO end up marrying again. he will need to realize that my daughter is already tall, and wil be about 5'9" or 5'10.. My ex hubby is 6 foot 2.
No, HE doesn't play in my life. I have hardly spoken to him, and unless he gets his act straightened up, he won't have much in my daughter's life, either.
NOTE: There IS a Dom that i keep in contact with, and in June, it wil be 7 years that we have known each other. i let Him know about those that contact me, and i keep Him up to date as to what is happening in my life.
He is a cheerleader for me, and a listening board, etc. He was there when my marriage was falling apart, and i would have gone into a much deeper depression, if i hadn't had Him to vent my frustrations out.
He is married, and that is the main reason why i am not His. he encourages me to speak with other Doms, and if a time ever came when i wanted to seriously get involved with One, then yes, He would wish to know.
i am just letting ya'll know that yes, i do have Someone looking out for me. He is a Lifestyler, has been active for many years, and has proven Himself, so yeah, i trust Him a lot. My happiness and safety are His main wishes for me. |
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To me, a Dom is Patient- maybe not too much so, though, perhaps. He is smart, witty, observant, and makes a girl feel as if he is very easy to talk to. After all, how can a sub or Dom learn anything about each other, or even be just friends, if talking is difficult?
Can i talk? Yes.. Can i always talk verbally? No. I admit it is easier to voice my thoughts and such in writing. When i get nervous or soemthing like that, yeah, my tongue trips over itself, or i talk too fast, etc. It's annoying, and kind of embarassing.
i am not sure when i wil get back into being more active in the Lifestyle, but i know that eventually, it is my wish to do so. In the meantime, Life happens, and some things have to get put on the back burner.
i digressed, sorry. A Dom needs to be easy to talk to, for how can a sub come to Him and express her worries, fears or other thoughts, otherwise? If she doesn't feel He is easy to talk to, then believe me, she won't. Maybe You think You are, but what You think and what she percieves, are two different things.
Have a sense of Presence, without being arrogant. Know that life happens, and don't think it's always about kink and Domination... There are other ways to Dominate.. LEAD.. GUIDE.. BE THERE, BE ACCESSIBLE.....
You are not a mind reader, but neither is the sub. A good D/s relationship will take time to build trust, to build balance.
Just don't expect too much right off the bat.
Normally, btw, i tend to go for taller guys, as i am 5'8" myself... i have tried being with shorter men, and i kept encountering thei Napoleonic complex. One relationship would have turned abusive, if i hadn't gotten out when i did.
Be One that a sub would feel safe with, that she feels she can be led in a loving and safe manner, that will make her feel cherished, while at the same time, knowing it is You that is in charge. i have been seeing too many submissives getting hurt and played for...
i have been very outspoken with some of them, and totally ignore them afterward. Some of that was just online... Imag9in how many are like that for real?? That is a scary thing. |
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Whew, got some other things taken care of for my sister's wedding, like getting our gowns ordered.. There was a snafu- Someone else was to have paid for mine and my daughter's, but that is taken care of now thankfully, so no panic attack !
Have a place picked/reserved now, for the Bridal Shower, thank goodness. What a pain; had to find a spot that would allow an outside caterer that we wish to use. Hotels and such get real touchy about that! lol...
Had a good weekend overall, and was thinking about some stuff, which had to do with an e mail i was sending off to someone, and which accidentally got deleted before i could send it. Needless to say, after al that writing, i was a lil ticked.. Anyway, i was writing about trust, insofar as what i think a Dominant shoul or shouldn't be expecting immediately.
i have to admit, i have been so far removed from anything having to do with even a lil bit of kink for such a while now, that i don't necessarily feel submissive. A lot stems from the fact, i guess, that i have to be mother and father to my kid, and also that i don't have the privacy at home to really just go out and pursue (sp?) aspects having to do with the Lifestyle.
DO i want to play at times? Heck, yeah, but am i going to go to a club alone, or go with someone i don't really know and entrust my safety to Him? NO
There are those that say i should join munches, and i know there are a couple that at least drive wise, shouldn't seem too far. One is 40 minutes SE of me, and another is farther North. The North one is the one that the guy of " A Loving Dominant" is part of. I am usually good with names, nad I have his book hidden from prying eyes in my room, but danged if i can remember it right now.
i don't think a Dom and sub should do any playing for a short while, anyway, after they first meet. To me, that sort of thing is a matter of trust. Trust has to be given, has to be earned. i have met alot of Doms online that say one thing, but even after just online, over a period of time, their truer personality comes through, and i haven't always liked it.
There was One that i thought was a close friend, and after a couple of years, found out He was also hitting on the newer subs, and a few ended up getting hurt. i don't trust men easily as a so rule, anyway, so while i can liek the Dominant and enjoy His company if we met in person, i will not play right away just because He wants it.
If He expects the sub to do so, then He isn't real smart. A Dom should realize that it takes time to peel back some layers. i warned ya'll, i AM opinionated ! Grinzzzz.....
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Wow, it's been quite awhile since i have been on here. i can't write too much; it's time to get to work.
i was dropping my daughter off at school today, and i cannot believe how many drivers drive wihtout there headlights. We had soem heavy fog this morning, and you can't even see the danged traffic light until you were within 50 feet of it! Sooo many people are just begging to get hit, in my ever so humble opinion! i know htis sounds cold, but you know what, i don't have patience for idiots liek that, that don't think that they might be endangering others by not letting people know where they are on the road. If they DO get hit, it then makes it danged hard for me to feel sympathy for them. Same thing for peopel whose families don't put helmets on their kids, or don't make sure the bikes have all those reflectors, or that the kids themselves aren't wearing lighter clothing.
Last night our stret was pretty dark, and we had had soem heavy rain just an hour before that. These kids are riding around on the street- with their family standing around, yakking- and almost got hit twice, becasue it was so hard to see them. I never cease to be amazed that these people don't use common sense, and try to do htings to make sure their kids are safe, or caution them, etc.... Of course, a couple of those kids act too wild cause the parents never bothered teaching them disciplin ein the first place, so naturally, they don't have manners or bother to thinik! Duhhhhhh.. Sheesh ! Some people really don't care if they get hurt, i guess.
Ok, enough of my bitch-fest. i saw that i had quitea few people keeping track of my journal, and i was really surprised. Not sure why i had them tracking it, but thank you. To me, it was just the writing of a regular person.
My sister's bridal shower is in April, and her wedding is in May. As the Matron of Honor- and no, i am divorced, thank you, not still married to that loser- i wil be making a toast at the wedding- yikes!...And at the Bridal Shower, i am going to be writing a long poem for my sister. I am good at writing, so this wil be kind of fun to show off a little bit, without being conceited. i can talk, but in front of a lot of people, i tend to get nervous, so making the toast at the wedding, will actually be harder for me. i don't like large crowds, yet at times, i can have a blast with it; go figure.
So this wil be a challenge for me, i htink. When i get excited or nevous, i tend to talk faster , so pacing myself here- control- wil be key.
i will write again later, perhaps tomorrow, but i have to go so i am not late. Again, thanks to those that have been reading this. The writer side of me would be interested in hearing what it is you were looking at.... soul |
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i have tried to get on, just to check my e mails, both on hotmail and on here, but naturally, the computer wasn't cooperating. It was having a ' bad circuitry day', i guess. Hmm seems almost every day is one of those days lately.
Hurt my foot soemtimes late afternoon on Saturday the 24th, not even sure ho win the hell it happened grrrrrrrr... Walking down the stairs is such a joy...
Won't be on much the rest of this week. Reading a really good suspense book- SLow Burn, by Julie Garwood. Also, have quite a few DVDs that i got as presents, including Hurcules: Legendary Journeys, Season 3 DVD Disk set, woohoooo!!! Looking forward to seeing my fave guy, Ares the God of War. Normally, i don't go for guys with goatees, BUT he is like 6foot 3, dark wavy black hair, and gotgeous eyes.. YUmmmmm!! lol. Yeah, i tend to go for the brunettes..
Dang left foot is starting to hurt, time to get it elevated again *sighs*.. i really hate this. i think tomorrow calls for a Jamba Juice run, and order my Banana Berry. mmmmm
Hope y'all had a very good Christmas. Santa was more than gracious this year, and i had a great time with my family, and made the Christmas dinner, as is my custom. Family traditions are important. What are some of yours?????
Listen, New Years is coming up in just a few more days. i am going to give my lil lecture here, and then i am signing off:::
Do NOT Drink if you are going to be driving!!!!! GEAT A DESIGNATED DRIVER! PLEASE be responsible, people. DOn't end up killing anyone cause you got behind the wheel whil eunder the influence of alcohol. It DOES impair your judgement, evn though there ARE still many people out there who would argue otherwise. Live to see another day, and let others live to do the same, ok???? |
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no, i am NOT going to give all my finances over to the Dom.. REminder: Daughter comes first. he will always need to be my first priority. If this is a problem, no point in talking. Realationships don't always last, and i need $$$ to leave, if need be, an dget set up somewhere else.... The children must ALWAYS come first.....
i may want to serve, but i want to serve the Right One. Be realistic please, with Your expectations |
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I am going to share 2 things on here, by Lord Raven.....The second thing i am sharing, i just read this morning, but i think that Dominants and subs/slaves alike, need to remember what the second post is about.
As to the first post.... It is about the submissive heart, how a submissive needs guidance, needs to know where her place is.. i admit i had to laugh some at the ending. i thought it had a little bit of a twist. Was a bit of a reminder to me, thta i shouldn't jump to conclusions so much ! lol
Lord Raven Sir, thank You.
The submissive heart
By Lord Raven
As the Master of the house comes home from work, she waits for him with joy and excitement in her heart, she has longed for her Masters return and loved him with every little cell in her body for he was everything to her, and she lived to do nothing more but to please, love and serve him for that was her greatest joy.
Her Master walks in the door, he sees she is very excited. He looks at her, smiles, with a chuckle, said " I am home pet Have you missed me?" She runs to her Master and showers him with attention and affection. After greeting her, he walks over to his favorite chair and gets comfortable. He looks at her motioning for her to take her place with a gesture of his hand, seeing this brought great joy to her, for she loved being by her Masters side, she quickly takes her place at her Masters feet. He glances down at her and said, "Your training is going very well pet and I am pleased, it also looks like you have gotten use to your collar as well." Listening to her Masters voice was the sweetest music in the world to her, she treasured every little bit of attention her Master gave her.
He then picked up a bag and said to her, "I have a gift for you pet, would you like to see it?" The excitement grew inside her as she patiently waited for him to continue. He opened the bag and took out a new collar and showed it to her saying, "It is time for me to take off that training collar. You have earned the real thing pet." Her eyes lit up and the excitement was almost too much to bare but remembering that her Master had always trained her to be patient and well mannered or he would be very displeased with her, she could not stand the thought of her Master being disappointed in her. He then leans down to take off the training collar and straps on her new collar around her neck. Her head held high with pride as to show off her new collar that her Master has given her. He looked at her and said, "Your Training is complete pet, and tonight is the big night a new journey begins, so make ready for change and make your Master proud." He then got up to prepare for the big night.
Not knowing what is going to happen she is overcome with curiosity but she knows that her Master always knows best and she never questions her masters decision, trusting him completely. He returned from the bedroom dressed up, picking up his keys saying, "I will be back in a few hours be ready pet." With that he walks out the door. She always hated that empty feeling she got when her Master had to leave her and couldn't help but wonder why she could not go with him but remembering her training she followed her Masters instructions and patiently waited for his return. A few hours later that night she could hear her Masters footsteps as he walked up to the door and like always her excitement grew as she waited for him to enter! He walked in the house and just as she was about to greet her Master, she sees him leading in a very striking woman, one she had never seen before, and what was this? She too had a new collar on! The woman was blindfolded and could not see a thing! The Master spoke up saying you may now take off your blindfold lil one welcome to your new life and home. The woman took off her blindfold and her eyes lit up with a huge smile as she looked up into her Masters eyes. He smiled at her, saying, "As of tonight you now wear my collar and you are mine but now your Master has a gift for you." He looked over and said, "Pet come here." His submissive looked to him and asked, "OH MASTER is she to be mine?" He smiled saying "Yes my lil one, she is your pet, do you like her?" His newly collared submissive smiled and said, "Oh my god yes Master I love her. Thank you so much Master!" The Master then said, "well why don't you two get acquainted."
They both looked at their Master with question in their eyes, when lil one asked,
"Master?" He says "yes lil one?"
"what is her name Master?" The Master replies, "I simply call her pet."
The Master sits in his chair as his pet and lil one look at each other, he says "PET! it is time to meet my submissive and you will listen to her as you would me." He then looked to his submissive, "Call her to you lil one." With that she called to her, "Come here pet." pet walked over to her Masters new submissive, she sits at her feet greeting her as she was trained to do. The woman smiles and hugs her saying, "She is beautiful Master and very well trained. "The Master laughed and said, "the submissive heart requires a Master to have trust, understanding, patients, time, wisdom, respect and love. It's the only way to have proper and lasting training.
The results of training by a Master with theses qualities, for any submissive heart, are very much the same, they result in fierce loyalty, devotion, service, obedience, blind faith, trust, respect, surrender and love by the willing submissive.
Both of you know, lil one that I will care for, provide for all your needs, protect and love you, your best interests are always in my heart."
She giggles and looks into her Master eyes and says, "I understand what you are teaching me Master thank you!" He then smiled at his collared submissive as He looked at her and motioned for her to take her place with a gesture of his hand, seeing this brought great joy to her for she loved being by her Masters side, she quickly takes her place at her Masters side, snuggles in next to him, loving him with every little cell in her body for he was everything to her, she lived to do nothing more but to please, love and serve him, for that was her greatest joy. He then motions to pet, watching as she takes her place at their feet, just then he looks to his newly collared submissive and says, "lil one, the submissive heart knows no gender, color, race or species for that matter. It is merely one half looking for the other half to make it whole just like the yin and yang coinciding in perfect harmony. Such is the case with the Dominate and submissive, you can not have one without the other and still be whole. What you feel lil one is much the same as pet feels and you both have your place with common goals, even if you two have very different rolls."
Lil one looks at her Master saying, "I never really thought about it that way Master but you are right and I see there is much to learn about Domination and submission, thank you for opening my eyes to a new perspective on it Master."
Comfortable and content with their new life and looking forward to the new journeys ahead of them, the Master sits with his collared submissive and their pet Rottweiler, simply named pet.
LOL, thought it was another female submissive, in the role of "pet", hmm??? i did.. This lil twist was on me grinzzzz
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PART 2
Now, here is soemthing else i saw in Lord Raven's Journal, that needs to be repeated. i think that too many tend to forget, or perhaps just get lazy and don't wish to put in th etime and effort it takes to be an effective leader for a sub/slave... Also, i htink thta there are some sub/slaves- expecially newbies- that may jump in too quickly. For those on both sides, weigh this carefully please. Wiating is hard, and the work of being a good Dominant can be quite challenging, but better to remember soem of these things and strive to be the best You can, than to unnecessarily harming a sub/slave...to my brothers and sisters, we want soemhting so much that we don't always ask why, we don't always go as slowly as we should. The end result is we get hurt- badly. If this repost from Lord Raven's Journal helps anyone, then good... Never know who may be looking for some sort of answers..
i have rushed and been burned. i have seen others get hurt from going into a relationship too quickly.My only wish is to try to help at least one to avoid this pitfall... [ No O/one is all knowing, but W/we can learn from a great many different P/people here.]
~The Master ~
Once you put your collar around a submissive
neck you are not only a Dom at this point but
a Master as well and with this power comes a
great responsibility not to be taken lightly.
For it is the collar that is your word and bond
to her that she is now under your protection,
you will keep her safe, guide her, teach her
and love her. You will always give her what
she needs and that may not necessarily be
what she thinks she needs. She comes to you
a woman unsure of her place and looks to you
for your guidance to show her what is expected
of her and she will learn quickly to
please her Master.
Discipline and punishment is part of the lifestyle
and it does not always need to be physical,
but you can also do this mentally as well.
Punishment and discipline are never done
out of anger or vengeance but only with
love to teach her or for her pleasure.
A Master will always put his submissive first
above everything else and he will always hold her
close to his heart as his most valuable possession.
Once they reach this level of trust and love
they discover new realms and universes
to travel together where no one or
nothing can touch them.
~LordRaven~
i was told by someone i know not to settle ever...i did, and it didn't work out.. This time, no, i can't afford to settle.. i hope that y'all won't, either * smiles warmly*
Blessed be always,
mooncloud
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i saw this poem on MasterWithSpirit's profile.. Than You, Sir, for granting this one permission to share
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your life's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have been shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from God's presence.
I want to know if you can live with the failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. -Oriah Mountain Dreamer (an Indian Elder)- |
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The Profile that i re wrote, but haven't posted::
i am a submissive, a single mother of one. My daughter is 6 years old, so there wil be plenty of times 'Mommy' is going to be needed. i will belong to my Dominant, yes andobey Him, but i need Him to realize- and be secure enough in His own skin- that He won't always be first in some things. My daughter is my top priority, as it should be. i prefer for my DOminant NOT to be a smoker, but if i end up with One that IS, i hope that He won't smoke around me or my daughter, as we do have asthma. ( i have to give her a Nebulizer treatment on accasion for wheezing)... i used to smoke and i quit...
i look for many things in a Dominant, mainly that He makes sure i know what the boundaries are, that He will love me, cherish me, discipline when needed. He must be patient and have a good control of His emotions, and be intelligent with a good sense of humor. Being observant and consistent is a must for me. Spontaneity (sp?) is well and good, but please not too many changes from what has been negotiated before the relationship is truly that of a Master and submissive. ilike to know what the rules are and need the structure.
i have a sarcastic wit, appreciate the written word, sometimes with double meanings.i love to read anything by Laurel Hamilton, have read all the Harry Potter books, and love the Bishop Series books by Kay Hooper. i read a lot of romance novels as well, as well as historicals that are set in the late 1800s. i am a big fan of Julie Garwood, a renowned rmance author who now writes Contemporary suspense books, and is darned good at it.with the exception of Mercy and Slow Burn(will begetting that one for Christmas, i think), i have read everything she has written. i also like to read true crime. Ann Rule rocks.
i enjoy History, and just finished reading about America's Greatest Battlefields. Not surprisingly, many were from the Revolutionary War, or the Civil War, an era that i like to focus on. .. i find Shakespeare to be very enjoyable, Hamlet being my favorite....WHen it comes to movies, i am pretty picky, but overall, i would say i like action movies the bets- Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, Episodes 4,5, & 6, for example.
Comedy movies are a little more tricky for me to like, but Ghost has a lot of comedy, thanks to Whoopi Goldberg being in it. I like the first Major League, and have watche dit countless times. There iss a great many things i also enjoy- musicals, ballet, dancing, music ranging from Classical to heavymetal... i am NOT a real big fan of rap or hip hop, although i do have a few things here and there from that genre that i have liked... i don't watch that much TV anymore,not as much as i used to.i DO like to watch CSI sometimes, or Medium. The field of foensics solving crimes, or that of the metaphysical, appeals to me....
i am a person that tends to lean more towards the Liberal side when it comes to politics, so those that are very conservative, might tend to find me perhaps a little too outspoken. i believe in standing up for the Pledge of Allegiance, the Star Spangled Banner, and that one day, we will have a Mrs. President!.. i believe that while BillCLinton lied about Monica Lewinsky, the guy DID balance the Deficit, helllooooo!!! i believe firefighters don't get the respect they deserve, and that when the chips are down, that is when i see people coming together, and it makes me proud to be an American... i don't always agree with what my Government does or says, but i am dang thankful that i have the ability to express my thoughts, and i am VERY proud of our troops that serve this Nation! Thank you , all the men and women out there, that serve herein the USA, and overseas.
i have an opinion about many things, as you can see :-)...WHile i don't htink the words 'meek' or 'docile' wil ever be applied when describing myself, i AM caring for those close to me, i am protective and loyal, and try to encourage others as much as i can, so that they feel better than they did before speaking to me. i like listening to what others have to say, and if i can, i make some suggestions, and try to offer another angle from which to possibly solve a problem.
i speak some Spanish and Sign Language, but not really fluent in either. i have been told i have an affinity for languages, but i haven't really tested that theory. i love to travel, but haven't been oable to travel out of the United STates, unfortunately. Would love to go to England some day, with allits wonderful rich history, and Ireland, a place one of my ancestors came from.
WHile i can be talkative, i DO have quiet moments, too, and enjoy those very much, for they allow me to think, or just unwind. i like people's company, but i need to be alone, away from soem of the noise thta accompanies a crowd..... i don't smoke, drink only once in a rare while, as i have very little tolerance for alcohol, and am very much an animal lover. i have 2 greyhounds, and if i could afford one, i would love to have a horse.....
While yes, for the most part i am a city girl, the ideal for me would be to live away from the congestion associated with cities,but close enough to enjoy a few more options in things to do. i don't like to feel hemmed in, and prefer wider, more open spaces.. Sooooo, NO cages, hoods, no body wrapping- i get claustrophobic.... i love the feel of a good flogger, wrist restraints, blindfolds. i have had a body piercing, felt the introductory feel of a violet wand...Light bondage would probably most likely appeal to me.
i am curious about electrical play, would love to see a knife play demo. i know a fellow submissive and her Master who went to see one last month, and they got real turned on, asked lots of questions, and have started exploring that at home, with VERY positive outcomes! lol....
i am very selective with whom i talk to. i am an Aries, so any that are really into AStrology, that means i get bored easily.... i wish to see many htings if possible, but can be just as happy being with One that is funny, down to earth, sensual, intelligent, and can be my friend, lover, confidante. i will submit only to One thta i fell can really be my Master, and lead me to find fulfillment, that i feel at ease with, complete with... i can do fine on my own, but i have no wish to stay that way, and hope someday, i will be able to have a Master i can be a partner with while still having Him lead, and trust Him to weigh what is right for U/us. In the meantime, it's time to take a take-each-day-as-it-comes approach, and try to be myself as much as possible....
Age for the Dominant shouldn't be over 50. i am 38 years old, and prefer not to have more than10-11 year age difference. i tend to go fo taller men as i am 5'8", but that is the norm, NOT the absolute. i look for what is inside. D/s is a very mental way of life.Show me a strong, sharp mind that shows wisdom and intelligence, and there is a good Dominant. a 'Loving" Dominant.
Do not ever stop believing in yourself, for all things are possible. i believe in Fate, that there is O/one out there for each of U/us.
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NOTE:
Will be posting 2 poems that i saw from 2 different Doms' profiles. I have asked Them permission to share them on my journals, and have been granted it. Thank You Sirs, for allowing me to do so.
These poems i think - for me, anyway- such that makes me stop and think, and i admit to feeling uncomfortable on one of them, wondering if, despite me wanting to have much more than i do now, would i be brave enough to go against opposition from my family, if it comes to pass? WIll i be brave enough to pave my own destiny? Fear of the unknown for one with a very fertil imagination is a mixed blessing, as sometimes, i can think too much, which can be just as unhealthy as not thinking enough.
Also, i am going to post my edited profile, which at this time, i have decided NOT to put on the main page. Mainly, casue it was even more wordy than the profile that people see right now..
Now, a few words on thoughts. Grinzzz. i will try NOT to make this one a novel, ya'll LOL
i read a profile last night, after talking to the Dom in oprivate chat yesterda morning. i had forgotten how old he was. i am 38 years old, and he is 28.. To me, that is a baby. i usually prefer for the DOms to be just a couple of years younger than me or older than me within a reasonable range. [ Sorry guys, but i don't really want soemone over 50. There is only One that i would have considered over 50- He is now 55.]
ANyway the 28 yr old Dom had put on His profile that he was " expert in all areas of life"..... Now, just how am i supposed to take that? AM i just supposed to blithly accept that and go on my merry way with Him?? Uh Sorry Guy, but that is a no go. A statement liek thta at His age makes me question His qualifications even more. There is NO way anyone is an expert in all areas of life at that age.... Heck there was loads i didn't know at 28.
NO ONE is an expert in Life, PERIOD! Theer are always challenges that pop up, people thta challenge usand cause us to rethink some. .. i found thta statement from this Dom to be unrealistic and pretty arrogant. He seemed nice when i was talking to him, but that is beside the point.
So what IS the "point'??? Be Yourself, be careful about ,,aking certain claims, as there WILL be O/others thta will call you out on it and ask very specific, hard questions. Submissives, slaves- do nOT be afraid to question, for in the long run, th emore questions you ask, the less grief you wil have in the end.. Be specific with your questions. Ask the Dominants what kind of experience They have, if Thye have had other subs/slaves in the past, for how long, and why did these relationships end. Ask the Dominants what They would expect from their ones. what are Their specific rules...
If a Dom/me seems to be too vaguw with tTheir answers when YOU are asking for specifics, i would consider that a red flag... Take a step back, and be casutious with that Dominant, then.. To me, if a DOminant isn't specific in the answers when i have asked for details, then i start thinking they are lying straighjt up, or hiding soemthing that needs a lil more delving into.
Interview these prospective Dominants.. They wil be interviewing you, after all. These may be people you strat seriously considering to submit to, so it is imperativ ethta you know as much as possible.... Let the Dom/me know you wil be doing a background check- which personally i htink should be done, anyway. This IS your safety that would be at stake, right?? ... Ask the Dom/me if He/She would be able to provide refernces. If They can't, if you aren't satisifed with their answer, questin why....Would be a better thing though, to not even think of that person as a potential Master/Mistress.
o was nopt happy with the vague answers i received about house rules, what He wanted from His sub.. Made me think that even HE didn['t know, or that He was pretty much a newbie Himself. Yes, i mailed a letter to Him and let Him know this.....
There is nothing, and i mean NOTHING wrong in asking lots of questions.... Infact, the Doms thta i have talked to have encouraged me to keep asking questions.. For not only in Their answers am i getting to understand them better, but they are getting an idea of how my mind works, and seeing what i am wanting, from the questions i ask...
Try to know the DOminants as people first, y'all, get to know the person behind the Title of 'Dominant', for there are plenty of moments in the relationship thta are vanilla, so you need to make sure that you and this Dominant wil be more compatible..
i was happy these Doms asked me if i had more questions, what else would i like to know about Them? i loved the conversations i have had with some; i have found many to be pretty intelligent, and W/we have looked forward to a second talk. AS time goes on, i then can see if this person is someone i actually with to be my Master....In Them wanting me to ask more questions, i am reassured that They want one thta uses her brain, and in so encouraging me to ask more questions, i am shown respect for my mind, for my needs and wishes. i have been treated with great courtesy with these Doms, and i am very grateful and pleased. Yes, there are a few that were idiots, but the Ones that listen and know what They want far outweigh those that don't......
You are asking questions. Be prepared to answer your fair shair of Their questions, as well !
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i asked a Dom tonight in chat- One that i thought to be poilte and thta observes and sees a lot- what He thought " Victorian Household" meant for the interests.. In his opinion, He htinks it to mean where the women are more or less like a trophy, an are seen but not heard, that the sub isn't allowed to speak much.
i am curious and hope to hear from others as well, what they think this means....i know if this IS true, it's so not for me lol.....
Had a greta chat tonighgtt, talked on many topics, had great debates. i was happy becasue we were all exchanging ideas back and forth. i was given htings to htink over, my mind was stimulated. There was a lot of energy there tonight, and my thanks to T/those that participated! This is what can happen when people respect the differnces in opinion, and don't get a hissy fit.
i HATE it when soemone sends a pm in chat w/o asking.. i find it inconsiderate... WHy is it so hard to ask if i wsa agreeable to this? It's called manners, hello!!!
i checked several profiles.. There were the statistics only, and nothing to give me a hint what htye were about....
Guys, PLEASE fill out Your profiles??? It'd be nice if we submissive had some sort of an idea what things you like, caught your attention...It at least is a start as to whether or not we would feel alright talking with this person> |
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i just opened up my mail here, had something from a Dom that daid if i was serious, to send a message. Hmm i have never heard from this person before, so naturally, i go to look at his profile... There isn't one!.. Oh , he had where he was from, his age, and that he was looking for submissive women, but there was nothing else about himself.. Not even a few words, and no list of interests...Sooooo- not going to answer him. i did ask nicely for the Doms to have something in their profile. i won't write back, if there isn't anything on the Dom's part/profile. Shows me they just didn't want to take a little time, make at least some sort of introduction.
This Dom could have written a few things about himself in the e mail... He didn't. No polite intro.The tone was like an order.... Giving an order , right off the bat to me?? Hmmm, nope- don't think so... PASS. |
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Right now, the song " I'm Already There" by Lonestar, is playing on the radio. When i first heard this song, i was like, 'wow'. The song still amazes me ( no pun intended for those that know Lonestar's songs).. i love this song, it's powerful, romantic, encouraging, and promises of a love that cannot be diminished by distance. It says " I will come back."
i checked out their Greatest Hits CD from the library. In the Reprise of this song, people thta hav e family members serving overseas have their messages played throughout the song. i couldn't help crying the first time i heard this song.It packed an emotional punch.
Dang, the song is over- i want to hear them sing again! *sighs* Oh well....
Just finished talking to a Dom on Yahoo messenger, and i thought it went pretty good.If the talking goes well the next couple of times, i will most likely be saying yes to a meeting in person, which i think if anything, at least is a step in the right direction. Turns out, He lives less than 10 minutes from me, which for me, anyway, i found funny.
The Dom that didn't call me still hasn't, but i didn't expect him too, though. i was majorrly ticked yesterday over it, perhaps over the principle of the matter. Whatever. it's out of my system. The writing i did about it helped immensely. Who said writing isn't good for the soul, hmm?
Onto a totally UNrelated topic: Has ANYone ever had the CD " A Twisted Christmas"???? If not, i would suggest it, i thought it hilarious.... Songs like " The 12 Pains of Christmas" " Wreck the Malls" ( to the tune of Deck the Halls and 12 Days of Christmas), A Story about the night Before Christmas from ' Jack Nicholson'.... Elvis at a Christmas dinner... Verrrrrry funny... !2 Pains of Christmas is my fave. [ This song played on the radio last night]
Here is what it entails:
"The first thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me, is"::::
1) Finding a Christmas tree
2) Rigging up the lights ( the guy gets increasingly frustrated, as he needs an extension cord, the lights don't light up, blew a fuse, needs a flashlights, and finally dares the listeners to rig the lights themselves)..This one ALWYAS keeps me laughing.. My eyes get watery, i am laughing so hard.
3) Hangovers ( done in proper British accent)
4) Sending Christmas cards
5) 5 months of bills
6) Facing my in-laws ( the woman frets about gotta make 'em dinner... she's a witch, i hate her) lol
7) Charities
8) This one is a lil harder.. kids telling their parents ALL the things they want, non stop.. AS the song progresses, the kids get more cranky and restless...A nightmare ANY parent can relate to!!!!!!*winks*
9) Finding parking spaces
10, 11, and 12- right now, i can't remember what they are....grrrrrrrr
Thes are all things that we DO have to deal with during this time of year.. i think it very irreverrent, true, but funnier, because it is true....
i am the one responsible for the loights on our tree.. i had all the lights up, and then all of a sudden, they weren't on!! Imagine how aggravated i was with that.. We had to do some shuffling with the lights being plugged in, and pulling the plug out of this set, and going on into that socket.... Musical light experiments.. Oh Joy.. NOT!!!...i spend a LOT of time on those lights, so i can totally relate to that guy who has to rig up the lights.....LOL
Shared things happening here with my Mentor, and HE was pleased, so i was real happy about that. i trust His judgement, since i have known HIm for 4 1/2 years.. So this leads me to yet another question, y'all..... ( i know , just waiting with bated breath, huh?? *grinzzz* )
How many subs actually have a Mentor, and how do their Dominants feel about it????
Do They encourage it, or feel threatened and want the sub to stop contact with the Mentor?
Once a sub is collared, do they seek another Mentor or stick with the O/one they have?
To me, a Mentor doesn't necessarily have to be a Dominant, but IS soemone that can give a clearer perspective on some issues, for the sub to go back to her/his Master/Mistress, with a better fram of mind.
This is just me, mind y'all..my Mentor is one of my best friends ever, and i think i would have a very hard time cutting off the relationship, as i have known this person the longest, more than anyone i met online or real time in the lifestyle.
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Some things i am curious about:
1) Why is it a Dominant that is not a girl's Master 'train' her??? Now, if the girl has a Master, and He asks for it that is one thing. But whatever the sub/slave has been 'trained' in, once she submits to the One she calls ' Master', then He is going to want to train her to His specifications, and will most likely need to untrain that which she was taught by another Dom.. So i am wondering now, why would a Dom 'train' that sub/slave, knowing this? What is One's idea of doing something won't necessarily be that what her Master desires. Wouldn't this cause more conflict or hardships for the sub, as she now has to forego everything that she previously learned, so that she can be a clean slate for her Master to work with?
2) Gor is not for everyone. It sure isn't for me. i had a brief experience with it, and this was online only, but i cannot address everyone as Master or Mistress. For me, there is only on e Master, and that is the One that i would be collared to. While i can understand the beauty to detail, i don't understand how some can live somehting real time, that is based on a book, or rather books.. As i recall , there are like 25 books of Gor?
i am not being rude, but i don't understand this, even after several years. To me, addressing all "Free" as 'Master' or 'Mistress', takes away from the point of submission.
3) If a Dom says that He misses the lifestyle immensely, but desires to have a serious relationship and wind up marrying His submissive, then how in the heck can He expect to do this if He is such a workaholic? He may realize that if He got in a relationship that something would have to give, and that would be His work schedule, but......
How can He even hope to form a relationship, to have a relationship at all, when He is not even trying to make time right now, for a potential bond to grow and flourish????
ANY relationship - especially in the beginning stages- needs time to grow stronger. Don't even say you want a relationship with a sub, if You have no intention of changing the work schedule right now...
Wouldn't that "giving" in 'something's gotta give' have to start before the Dom found the sub He wished to start forming a closer bond with????
4) What does the term " Daddy Dom" mean for various Dominants out there???? i am seeing more Doms describe themselves as such.
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Kinda ticked off right now. Ticked off, and disappointed. Gave my cell number to a Dom i wished to speak with. Had done this because one of my best friends had the opportunity to meet Him twice, and although they didn't click, she said He was very nice. So i figured ok, i would let him have my number. We had already talked once on yahoo. Spoke again this past Sunday, in the mid afternoon. He said He would call.
Well, he didn't... Then on top of that, i went backon Yahoo after 11 pm Monday night, and i see Him online.... i debated whether or not to give Him a buzz, but decided against it. Decided He came online, didn't even leave me an offline, yet He wanted to talk to me??? i had reason to be skeptical...So i stayed on yahoo messenger for hmm 10 minutes i guess- Nada. Zip Zilch Zero.... Right after i logged off of Collarme, i saw that He'd been on just 2 minutes prior... Hmm yeah, He really wanted to talk with me. He wasn't too far from me, there was an oppotunity that i could meet Him for lunch or something. Not happening now, as far as i am concerned.
If He had gotten a call to work ( He is a cop), i could understand that. But i don't think it's asking a lot thta if You say You are going to call, then call- at least keep Your word. Back Your words with action, ya know? But when You get online, and didn't call, i don't think it takes a whole lot to drop a quick line.. It's called common courtesy, manners....Sheesh.
Things like that really tick me off.....This is one of the reasons why i am cautious, why sometimes yes, i may feel alittle disbelieving, have a sarcastic attitude when someone says He will call..... Because there are those that don't know how to keep their word and show just a little thoughtfulness if they can't follow through for whatever reason.... |
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i was looking through the profiles randomly, curious to what some people had on theirs.. i came across one that caught my eye, becasue of what he had on His journal. i dropped a line, and i have His permission to use this. i think Dominants and subs/slaves a like should take a look at this, and just weigh the words...
: A Man who displays sensitivity will be a Master who is sensitive to you.
A Man who displays humility will be a Master who will show you respect.
A Man who is not afraid to cry will be a Master who understands your tears.
A Man who is quiet will be a Master who will hear your quietest whisper,
A Man who knows fear will be a Master who will not leave you to face yours alone.
A Man who will listen to a child will be a Master who will always work to understand your words.
A Man who can stand alone will be a Master who will not crush you under His weight.
A Man who controls Himself with ease will be a Master with the ability to control you in the same way.
A Man who does not have to prove His point will be a Master with many worthwhile points to share.
A Man who never makes demands will be a Master who treasures anything you give.
A Man who doesn't run after you will be a Master you will never need to run away from.
A Man who is calm will be a Master who can weather your storms.
A Man who has walked the path to peace will be a Master able to guide you along that path.
A Man who does not shout will be a Master who will never deafen you.
A Man who knows Himself will be a Master who will have time to know you.
A Man with an open mind will be a Master who never stops learning.
A Man who never stops learning will be a Master who never stops growing.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.
This was written with help from His friends as well..... i just liked it, and was wanting to share it with others. It says a lot of what i think a Master should be. .. Patient, observant, intuitive, well spoken, caring, consistent in His words and actions...SOmeone that won't run at the first sign of difficulty, but knows what he wants,has the vision to see the potential, what could be, and keeps at it until that goal is accomplished.... i would be His cheerleader, encouraging Him, having faith in Him becasue His wish to do well for us both is so apparent... Appreciative of the fact that the roles are firmly established, and yet HE asks my input... Submissive, but a partner...
i got a letter that said i was what he was looking for, was talking about a cam and mic, give him my yahoo id and answer right now....Did i reite back.. Yes, i did, but somehow i don't think it is what he was exepcting ! LOL....No, nerely that i am not some chit out of the schoolroom, and that Doms that act that overeager are barking up the wrong tree, that he was a stranger.... Suggested he read A loving Dominant (although going back to school for some manners would be nice, too).. The tone he used reminded me of those that would say, " Get down on your knees no, bitch", thinking they can say this to any sub and automatically do as he says... He was reminded that this is simply not true.... Personally, i htought i was being rather restrained... When i read it, i actually laughed, thinking he simply HAD to be kidding..... LOL
My daugfhter is ssick * sighs*.. She couldn't get to sleep tonight, always caughing, sore throat.. Took care of her, let her stay up, wil be keeping her home tomorrow.. Gave her a treatment session on her nebulizer, so i am hoping thta helps make her breathing easier, too.. This is, this time of year, she could very well be catching bronchitis.. i am soooo hoping thta it is not that! This IS the time of year that people are going around with it.....
Being in 'Worried Mommy' mode for now..... |
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Alright, i guess it's time to get a little more personal on this entry. Don't expect me to get so revealing in each and every one after this. Some will just be meanderings, some will be venting outlets.
i am somewhat dyslexic, and have a tendency to get some letters mixed up. WOrds like some, that, with thought, even the word "and"... You see some words that have the second letter in caps. i am not sure why i do that, but it irritates me too. i go back and try to correct my typos, but apparently, i have missed more than a small few in my previous entries. Sorry about that.
i received a mail from a Dom asking me if i had any public experience [ i guess in counter to me saying i have been exploring the lifestyle for 5 years now]... WHile i am not going to answer him directly [ since his profile hardly has anything on it, and for some unknown reason, doen't have his real age up there. ] i WILL , however, answer it here, so i won't keep saying it repeatedly, in private e mails.
i started learning about the existence of this lifestyle in December 2000. At that time, i was married. i came upon a chat site, looked through profiles, asked someone about what BDSM was, what was a "Dominant"? He referred me to Castlerealm.com, and i was quite intrigued by the dynamics of the relationship, and also, for the fact that it looked like i would certainly NOT be bored, as there were so many possibilities to be realized. i loved the fact that i could go on apath quite different than the next person. This was a type of relationship customized to fit the Dom and sub only, and that appealed to the rebel in me. i don't always like to do what everyone else is doing, simply beacuse that is what is expected....The submissive role started to sound like me...... Then i read about jade there, and i was bawling like a baby.. Wow. Lord Colm and jade did a lot with that site and had so much information. i think it's a great site to start a beginner on his/her journey, and build up on that.
For the next 20 months, i made the mistakes of a newbie of getting attached to someone too soon and feeling hurt by them, went in and out of 2 other relationships online. WHile some scoff at this, overall it was an eye opener, a learning experience. i learned things the hard way.....i wanted to go to munches, do soem real time things, but i was in a really small town, wayy down there in Bible Belt country. The first major city near me was Fort Worth, which was at least 3 hours straight East on I 20 from where i lived. Abilene, Texas was very small town mentality.. i should actually say backward. There are a lot of small towns that are more in this centurya, and more open minded. Sorry to anyone from a small town...
My husband and i had never heard of any munch groups near us, so for the time being, any experience was mental growth, emotional growth, having a greater curiosity about things, and watching how people interacted with each other, deciding how i wanted One to be treating me.
BDSM, my exploration into this vast world- started to affect my marriage. My husband was nilla, but he wanted to try and understand what it was about this lifestyle thta affected me so..To this day, i still don't think he quite got it.... He did some reading, asked questions, but i think he just never was able to grasp it, or perhaps he just never understood me as much as i thought he did...
i was now at a point where i relaized i was going to need this in my life, that i couldn't go back to the status quo. If nothing else, i would never be bored. There were parts of the lifestyle thta yes, are very nill, and i can understand and accept that. STill the aspects of play available got my imagination fired up and had me wanting to start getting on with it. i wanted to start incorporating htisinto what i had...Problem was, we didn't kn9ow of any groups.... That and the fact that i started seeing that HE was never really going to change... He was never going to really push himself outside what he already knew, and most likely, we'd never get out of Abilene. i hated that town, i was soooo bored.
Being bored, for ANY Aries like me, i think, is like a death knell. i HATE feeling bored. i get too restless, and most likely from the wya i act soemtimes, i probably have ADD, although i have never been officially tested for it. That, and the fact that i felt i was wearingth epants in this marriage. The mental connection thathad been so strong was fast deteriorating. i had gotten pregnant too quickly after moving to be with him, and after our daughter's birth, Due to his work schedul and me having to wake up ealy in the mornings, we didn't really have as much time as we should have had to spend time alone.. Anyway, i digress.....
The marriage was crumbling yet we were stil able to be friends to an extent. At times things were very tense in the house, though... My husband had decided to be " DOm" to another female- yes, i knew here, and for the most part it really didn't matter to me, which was a sure sign i lost interest in being close, that i was pulling away more and more mentally...The mental connection had a direct effect on my feeling horny, my desire to have sex. It was almost non existent. i could go months without it, and not miss it. Well, not miss it with HIM, anyway..... i watched my husband try to be a Dom, and inside i was laughing my ass off. Oh Lordy, the guy was a joke. NO one in that chat room we were regs in really took him seriously...The guy had trouble even sounding decisive online....In our marriage most of the time he would say he was agreeable to whatever, or " Whatever you want", when i asked Him if he wanted to do this or that. i can NOT stand indecisiveness from the male party .... Make a decision, ANY decision.. Maybe it's the wrong choice. but i will make it, simply becasue i hate being in limbo....
Finally in October 2002, we were going to our firsty play party, had discovered that there WAS an orginaization in West Texas.....
i met real time lifestylers, watched various types of play being done... i got my first flogging while wearing a scening collar, handcuffs,. nipple clamps. i loved it, and could have been doing that for a longer period than 20- 25 minutes.. i started to feel not quite ass elf conscious as i was when we fist came in... i realized taking off my shirt and bra didn't bother me as much as i thought it would, and that was a freeing realization there for me. It allowed me to enjoy several more things that night..
i decided to get a body piercing and now knew thta i could handle that threshold. Each thing i did, i was kind of testing myself ina safe environment. My husband and i had already made contact with the Dom that Topped me..
i also saw a Dom and His sub do a knife play, and that was a big turn on for me. i want to try that!... i saw a sub get the whip a little too harshly from a Dom, but i still want to know if i can handle that... Do it once or twice perhaps by One that has experience with whips....i saw a sub being held by her Master while she felt the sting of the crop on her bottom. Watching it made me hot, and i envied her afterward, when she came in her Master's embrace, shaking all over.
i had a msall taste of the Violet Wand on my scalp, on my arm, and then a lil later after checking with my husband, taking off my pants and yes, feeling it on my pussy.. Oh man, i ended up cumming so hard.
later when we got home, i had to deal with a bruised ego. My husband was jealous that i cam that hard for a stranger, when , he said i had never cum that hard for him. i started to realize that he still didn't get it, that this sort of stimulation was nothing like what he and i have done ( which was opretty much the same).... For me, the wand was a foreplay.. Scening was foreplay for me, excited me mentally, so therefore affected me physically..... My husband asked me once if i could ever see him as my Dom, myMaster... i hated to be blunt, but i had to.. i told him ' No"... This play party, seeing how the Top handled the scene, the control, making sure i was ok every so often, the knowledge with how much pressure to apply.... i saw my husband crying, wondering why i never did that for him- and just sighed inside. How COULD i really explain the excitement i felt, having tested myself soemwhat that night, and having at least a fw personal questions answered??? i knew now at least soem things i wished to explore further.. This was the start of re defining some limits.... It was a start toward my growth. i was SOOOO tired of DOms asking me what i was interested in. How in the hell should i know, when i had never experienced anything to go by??? Sheesh.. Now, i could answer some of those things, and that made me feel wonderful.
One week later, i got a blow to the midsection. My husband took money out of my wallet- which i was going to put towards the phone bill, and bought a Greyhound ticket to go to Washington State and be with his sub [ a submissive, she was not- a liar, a drunk, and a belligerent manipulative person, she was]....
i knew he would be going to be with her eventually, thta didn't really bother me. They deserved each other. i knew she would run roughshod all over him, more so than i did, alhtough i had my share....No, what bothered me was that he did this before we were even divorced, and was leaving his obligations behind, not even leaving me anything really, to take care of the bills, of our daughter, of keeping a roof over our heads....
Well, he left... i had to leave, as i couldn't pay next month's rent.. Just when i had started to get soem real time experience, and wsas making friends with real lifestylers and would have a chance to do more play, learn more things about my limits, everything came crashing down it seemed to a screeching halt.
i had to coem back to Florida, moved back in with my mom and sister { Da is up in Ohio, and good riddance to him ]...Living ehre where i amnow, i went through 8 months of depression, and while i got back on my feet emotionally and mentally. being able to explore BDSM in realtime right now has had to be placed on the back burner. My mom thinks those in BDSM are twisted and evil.... She would NEVER accept what i wish to have in my life, where that is concerned...
i went up to New York last year to be with someone... That didn't work out... i fell asleep in his arms every night i was there, though, slept soundly for the first tiem in God only knows how long.. My headaches were almost non existent....i didn't like my surroundings up there. Things were too claustrophobic for me. i mean, His place was small!...i will nOT go back up to New York ever again. it's just not a place for me....
Soooo yes, i HAVE had soem real time experience, albeit on a limited basis. i want to start getting my feet wet again however, and am looking into seeing how to get to a munch, where they are located..... It won't happen overnight. Living where i am places limitations of its own... This is why especially, i cannot afford to rush to much... For now, i have to be careful.. My family would not exactly be what one would term tolerant.....
i htink this is more than enough for now. That is how i got started in this lifestyle, and why i am where i am right now. Things happen for a reason....SOmeday, i hope to know what that reason might be :-)
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i edited my profile- Added a "Note" before the reader starts seeing anything else about me. Why? In a nutshell, because these Doms writing to me have almost nothing in their own profiles. Thiught it might help if they saw thta lil reminder to go back and liven theirs somewhat, convince the sub that maybe getting to know this Dom or that might actually be worth the time, or fun at least....
Empty / hardly-detailed Profiles to me are boring, and i won't bother answering them.
i like to be funny and laugh, but as a person that has a great apprceiation for the written word, i have almost no patience for empty Profiles. To me, it tells me that the Dom has no creative imagination, and gives the impression that He is lazy |
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Well, folks, it's Monday, and i have had a few e mails that have had me arching my brows.
i wil NOT just open my arms and say welcome, come do me.... C'mon, y'all, i am a submissive, but i am not stupid....Letters like these get the cut direct.
i had One ask me if He came down, would i host Him??? Uh like- Hellooooooooo. My Profile did say i was a single mother.. 'Mother' being the operative word here, people, that means a child is involved, so the Dom is actually going to have to earn the right to be a part of my life. i know htis sounds like a far out concept, but give it a try.
My idea of making another's acquaintance is NOT " I want to come down and meet you, how about letting me stay at your place?"
Like Duhhhhhhhh.... In other words, don't come on so strong! For crying out loud, y'all, all Your doing is saying hi.. Liked the profile, or asking what i like to do, that sort of thing.....
Do NOT sign Your e mails KIssssssssss OR huggssssss after only the 3rd exchange...
You want to know why?? You are coming on too strong- Red Flag! What do i do with soemthing like that?? BLOCK the USER... Gotta love that Block button!...
TIP: A Dom that comes on too strong, starts acting too familiar, is gonna get blocked, plain and simple. He is acting like He wants too much too soon, think He is going to get something from me.... Hmmmmmm NOT!!!!!! Don't bet the ranch, Jack, as the saying goes.
i don't know you i haven't even had several intelligent conversations with y'all, so what in the blue blazes make you think a sub would let down her guard and get together withjust anyone???? This sort of greeting to me speaks of laziness on the Dom's part, and shows little respect for me, and also tells me that He thinks He is going to get whatever he wants....
Hate to break it to ya, but like Ain't Gonna Happen. Don't underestimate me, don't underestimate a smart submissive. I have been in this lifestyle almost 5 years now, have seen quite a bit of things online.... i have met a few real time lifestylers, and they practically laugh at soem of the things they see on places like these.... They say that is NOT what D/s is about.
If i could let my Mentor at some of the Doms that adress the subs the way soem have done to me, He would let them know in no uncertain terms that they better not try to contact me again....i would love to do that, but there is this lovely lil thing called the "Block User" option... i have made good use out of it too.... See? i can handle soemthing like that all my lil lonesome. Imagine that.
Seriously, Doms- Have stuff on Your profile, beside that You are looking for a sub to fit Your needs.. Well, duhhhh... It'd be nice if the sub can see what You might wnat. Say soemthing about Yourselves... You want the sub to contact You guys, You have to put a lil more effort into the introduction, or You will be passed over right quick... Like i said, a sub is not stupid... Soem may be naive, but that doesn't mean they can't think, or won't be advised what to look out for.
Sooooo, what is it that will catch my eye??? Sometimes, a cool name.. SOemtimes, an interresting picture will keep me coming back, casue i have to tell y'all, there ARE soem great pics out there, and man o man, it's wonderful to be able to go back to these profiles and have something to smile about and wish for.... Hmm i also noticed that those with the cool pics also had the smarts to have some really interesting things in their profiles, and i have enjoyed reading them. They make what they are looking for quite clear... To those DOms, i say a heartfelt Thank You!!!!
Would love to mention their names, but i would embarass them *smiles wickedly*.... WHo knows , though- might bring some good attention from other subs, yes??? Ohhh it's soooo tempting- as are They Themselves *WEG*.. There are a couple that have made me go HUbba HUbba. Makes me smile immediately....i know i am not for them, but still, it's good to dream! LOL
Then, i have seen profiles thta have like nothing on them.. NExxxxxxt!!!
Intelligence, Humor in the profiles.. i am not sure about the other subs, but those catch my attention each and every single time.
Intelligence is essential. Humor helps one get through the darker periods, helps to lessen the stress level.... Put those two things together, it's a dang good combination, and used properly can make for some very interesting and fun exchanges back and forth.
i have made a few friend from some of the Doms i have heard from, or initiated contact with... It is my hope that even if they don't work out as potential Doms for myself, thta i wil have soem really good friendships as time goes by. i am encouraged to see that there are soem DOms that realize this is not "when can I get sex from them" sort of thing... It's about making a connection on a mental level , that can then start to spread out to the emotional attachments- the caring, the deep respect, setting up rules, boundaries and limits... Encoraging one another to be better, to help th eother get through another day, find something to smile about.
i like to express myself in a physical way.. Being openly affectionate is important to me, and i need it... i also need to feel inmy soul that i AM important to my One, that He truly does have my best interests at heart. i want, i need, to have my DOm be my Friend, my Teacher, close confidante, an enforcer of the rules, and to be One whose path i will willingly follow, trusting Him to lead us both to the best of His abilities.
A Dom who is lazy with his profile is not going to garner interest from me. If He is lazy in just making a nice introduction, then what happensif He actually DID get a sub?? It's sure as heck not going to be any easier then, only harder, as she tries the boundaries, and sees just how consistent the Dom will be..Doms that are lazy mentally, wil sooner or later really hurt a submissive, becasue He hasn't tried to show true concerns for her emotional welfare, hasn't tried to read her, to understand how her mind works, how her needs outline who she is.....His htoughtlessness wil end up ruining the relationship and possibly do irreparable harm to her psyche....
Have care in that which You wish to Dominate, Y'all.....Having control over another is a big responsibility. If You really don't feel like working at things to achieve the end result, you shouldn't be in the lifestyle to begin with.
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So much for getting the Christmas lights up.. First i have to find them! LOL.. i think that goes a long way towards getting things moving, dontcha htink? *shakes head wryly* Well, would have done that, but being sick wasn't exactly in my cards today, so not a helluva lot got done, unfortunately. So goal for tomorrow is finding them and getting them set up....
i am a dreamer, i DO believe that my jopurney can have a happy ending. WHy? Because i wnat it to, and i know that prayers do get answered....i believe that there is a person that carries the other half of our souls.... SOunds corny perhaps, but i can get pretty esoterical hee, so i will leave this issue on that high note....Going through each potential DOm or sub can be draining, but don't give up, for the next person MAY be just the O/one Y/you were searching for.....
ANyway, enough D/s talk for now.... i have talked that aspect of things to death for a while, it looks like. Grinzzz
i like to read alot... ANY book by Laurell K Hamilton is a big hit with me. i love her characters, her sarcastic wit, and the people she brings to challenger her prtagonists.... i have read everu one of her Anita Blake and Meredith Gentry series books more than once, and get involved in them each time. **Grumbling becasue she has to wait until Summer 2006 for her next ANita Blake book, Danse Macabre, to come out** Hope she brings Edward back into the picture...
i believe very much in the metaphysical world ya'll, so if that turns you off, oh well.... i have had too many encounters not to believe in it. Energy never dies and just becasue you can't DISprove the existence of spirits or prove it, that down't mean that spirits, ghosts, whatever you wnat to call them- don't exist.
There is an author called Kay Hooper, and her Noah Bishop Series books are hard to put down, dealing withsolving crimes with the extra use of special gifts...She keeps the reader guessing til the last few pages, who is the bad person. i love that, that i can't quite tell for sure right away.
Soooo suspsnse, mystery, romance, true crime, i have read quite a bit. i have a great appreciation for the written word ( in case you haven't guessed by now LOL ), and have written several short stories and soem poetry. i like to write poems for those close to me when they least expect it, or on a birthday. To me, it's more special then a card, because it came with thought behind it, and seems just more personal.
i love music- it's a big part of me, helping to calm me, make me rlax and helping me to just enjoy. i love to sing along to soem of the songs... Music is eclectic, ranging from classical to oldies music to some pop, 80s music, soem hard rock/heavy metal, and soem Broadway Musicals..... i can't stand Opera too much, cause i normally can't understand a word they say, even if it's in English.. But Musicals, yes, i do like those...
i love ANdrew Lloyd Weber, and Michael Crawfor as The Phantom rocks!!! WHY did they have Gerard Butler be the Phantom in last years Movie production, anyway???? Gerard is a a major hottie, LOVE that Scottish accent- it's sexy as hell.... But the make up -- He doesn't even LOOK scary.....*sighs* It's a shame cause he worked so hard for that role, but he qwasn't convincing as The Phantom.... i heard David Bowie was interested.. Now HE would have been a great Phantom!! LOL STill, i wish Crawford would have been doing that.. My sister went to go see Phantom 2 months ago- i wanted to strangle her!!! Grrrrrr, i was soooo jealous LOL.
i am a huge Harry Potter fan, and am only waiting to see it ( released November 16th, btw), becasue Mom wants us to see it as a family... Getting us all to go out together in the movies can be a real Act of COngress soemtimes, i swear. Personally, i just prefere to wait, for the most part, til a movie comes out on DVDs, but for Harry POtter, oh yeah, i want to see it ASAP.. Have read every book, and cried buckets when i read the 5th book, Order of the Phoenix. Read the 6th book in July, had it reserved.. OMG, i couldn't believe who dies this time, and yep, was going through several tissues... When Phoenix comes to theaters, i am gonna have to have a mini box full of tissues, cause i am not going to be the only family member crying....Ohhh man.... With the Exception of the Narnia movie, and Brokeback Mountain, everything else looks like crap, pardon me for saying it like that.... Hollywood has run out of ideas, so they are making remakes of remakes???? How many Amityville Horrors do we need??? How many Poseidon Adventure's???? And omg- ANOTHER King Kong?????? i have seen the 1933 version wiht Fay Wray, and the 1976 version with Jessica Lange.... THAT remake rocked, and it should have stopped at that. But now, Peter Jackson, who directed the Lord of the Rings movies, has done a remake- the 3rd version now, mind y'all- of King Kong.... Pitiful, absolutely pitiful.. THIS is why DVDs are better.... i can always turn it off if the movie sucks, i don't have to listen to people talking forever in the theater, or the dang cell phones going off ( how rude!!). Helloooo , people, put the friggin things on vibrate.....Wanna talk?? Take your call OUT of the theater, let the rest of us watch our movie... As expensive as the tickests are these days, don't nened inconsideration like thta from others, that's for sure.
You want Coldplay, Three Doors Down, Cred, whatever, i will take Aerosmith any day, thank you vey much.. That or Bon Jovi.. Bon Jovi, ??? Ewwwww , you think.. Hey, they are stil around after 20 years, Jon bon Jovi is adorable, and they sound just about the same live as they do on their CDs.. That doesn't happen very often...
i love rollercoasters, love thta adrenaline rush! Gawd, they are wonderful... If i wone the Lotto, i swear, i would be feeeling a compulsion to go tour the amusement parks all ove rth eplace, and go on the rollercoasters, get that rush... Better to be addicted to rollercoasters, than to drugs!!....No, iwill NOT do anything with bungeee cords.. No way...
i love animals, but i do have soem exceptions.. Mainly, the smaller dogs, the yippers- Poodles, Pomeranians, Schauzers.... Personally, i liek the bigger dogs, allows me to roughhoiuse with them a bit. We have two Greyhounds in our home, adopted them in February and April, respectively. They are former racers, recued from the racetracks once they were no longer deemed useful for raacing...We had to put our other dog down last year right after Thanksgiving, She was 16 years old, a amisture of German SHepherd and red Dobie.. The house was really empty. These two Greyhounds have been valued blessings, and quite frankly, i am spoiled.. If i could , i wouldn't have any other dogs but Greyhounds * smiles broadly*.... However, i love animals as rule... It's just the yippers i can't tolerate... Non stop, and too high pitched. i am sensitive to higher pitched sounds, and they give me headaches... i al ready am prone to headaches, i don't need anymore from one of the toy dogs....
If i could afford one, i would have a horse.. i LOVE horses, but they are expensive to take care of, and so, no horse...If i could work with horses, that would be my ideal job, i think. i have a great respect for them....i am part Irish, so maybe it's only natural thta i am drawn to them and admire their beauty....
Monday is here already.... My lil one has less than 2 weeks of school, then she has her winter break.... i am already looking forwrad to her going BACK to school!!!
Right now, listening to a HArry Connick Jr song on the radio, very relaxing.. Starting to finally yawn, so it's looking like i may actually get a little bit of sleep after all before waking up to gte my daughter ready for school....
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Went to a ballet performance yesterday of The Nutcracker, performed by the International Ballet Company. It was a great time, going to see ballet again. When i lived down in Dade County, my Mom used to take me to see this every year at this time, seeing the Miami City Ballet. i love how each time, it seems different, a slightly different twist.
Of course, no on, and i mean NO one- compares to Mikhail Baryshnikov, but thta is too unkind a comparison, dontcha think?? lol....This brought back the memory when i went to see a performance by the American Ballet Theatre, and i got he surprise of my life, when i found out Baryshnikov was to perform that night. Was a new number he had choreographed, shortly before leaving ABT as its Artistic Director. No, i am not going to go back to what year that was. It was one of the best birthday presents i had ever received to this day.... Every year, i still watch The Nutcracker performed by ABT with him and Gelsey Kirkland. i still get a kick out of it. Lost track how many times i had watched The Turning Point ...
Had a great time yesterday with family, one of the few times we all have gone out together, since my sister is normally not with us on the weekends. Went out to a place i have never gone before- J Alexanders. For anyone here in Florida that has one near you, i would suggest you give it a try.!....Very relaxing afternoon, something i needed, after the way i was feeling Friday....
Strange, how memories of birthdays belonging to loved ones that are now gone can affect one's moods, however subconsciously, isn't it? MAternal grandparents' birthdays were November 29th and yesterday, December 3rd. One died when i was still just a baby, another when i was 12....Once in a while, i wonder how they would have been, had they still been alive today, what they'd think of the things going on in today's society. One Grandparent was a real clown from my understanding. The other one was very strict, wnated things all lined up neatly in a row, almost compulsive. Interesting for me to wonder how they's handle all the changes... Nostalgia can be a real bitch at times.....*sighs*.... It kind of caught me off guard, and made Friday night not exactly one of my better ones....
So now it's Sunday morning, December 4th already. i can't believe in just 3 more weeks, Christmas will be here already, and i am wondering how is it that time manages to go so fast toward the latter half of the year??? SIgns aplenty that winter is here. SNowbirds from the North have come down, now that the hurricanes are no longer a threat for at least yet another season * whew*!.... Traffic is hellacious all over, Parking at the malls is a journey in itself! Yep, the Holidays are here, alright. Plenty of road rage. i am praying people keep their cool.. i wish soem of these old people wouldn't be allowed to drive, but then that would mean the Politicians lose the Senior Citizens' votes, and that accounts for a very large part of their support base to get them - or keep them in office, so i can't see an age cap on drivers licenses anytime soon.
Wish people that can't read signs would'nt drive either, or those that talk on the cell phones all the time.. Wait a minute, that'd mean there wouldn't be ANYone on the roads down here, since it seems for soem strange reason, people can't remember to have headlights on when it's raining, or at dawn and dusk... Those are basic things, taught when a person first learns to drive..... Hmm, so many selective memmories with these drivers. *shakes head in wonderment*....i wonder just what alien language they do speak then?
Just venting a little bit about that, so sorry folks...Too many incidents of almost crashes, because drivers aren't thinking...
Please y'all be real careful this time of year, no matter where you are...Christmas parties are aplenty now, so it's important to be responsible if you drink...Know your limits with alcohol, just as much as you'd be careful with limits within the lifestyle for successful relationships....
Today, will be putting the lights on our Christmas tree. Doing the lights is my job. i am soooo thankful the tree is not a real one, as i have bad skin reactions to real pine i....
Have been doing a lot of wondering about trust in the D/s realtionship, starting out to get to know Another, and trusting enough to make that final leap, that of submission to a Dom, handing control into His care, allowing HIm to be the One responsible for considering what is best for His submissive/slave.
When a Dom is faced with the prospect of a submissive that wnats to give up control, and yet conversely, doesn't trust enough so therefore is afraid to relinquish all of it- how does the Dom deal with this? What steps does He think /feel He needs to do? How does he hten go about creating an environment that makes the sub willling to start letting down more of her guard and revealing more of her inner layers??? How demanding/picky it considered too much for the submissive to be, in the eyes of the Dominant? How long has it taken for soem Dominants, for the subs/slaves They have been working with, to agree to submit to Them and be collared by Them? What made these subs decide they just had to make that final and scariest leap of all? What sort of challenges did these subs/slaves face before they got to the point where they accepted that Dominant's collar, surrendering of themselves and allowing the Other to lead them????
The mind and heart are in conflict a lot within myself. i wnat a long term D/s relationship, hopefully to end up not only collared, but legally wed. i was not meant to wind up alone, and i miss that male companionship and closeness, that intimacy. Fear on the other hand- fear of the unknown, of being hurt again- keeps trying to gain control.
Where is that balance? It is different for each submisive/slave....Praying i will be brave enough to embrace what could be, praying the Dom will be honorable and do, act, as He says He will... praying to have that Dom be patient enough with me and truly caring, that He is able to create that safe haven, that will truly be the anchor, the balance i know i need in my life, so that i can be who i was meant to be....
The yearning grows for that void to be filled... |
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NO MARRIED DOMS, please........For me, it only leads to more hurt. They aren't always accessible....There is a married DOm that wil always have a place in my heart, but W/we can't be together real time due to His being married. With a lot of work W/we have a great rapport with each other, and i go to Him for advice on a lot of things....If things were different and He was no longer married, i would be with Him in a heartbeat right now, as i am not collared or involved with anyone.
However, He IS married, and i am ok wiht the knowledge that that status won't change anytime soon. He was honest with me up front, and i have more respect for Him becasue of it. If for whatever reason down the road i am not with soemone and He is available, thta option is still open...But for now, it's time to move forward. i shed too many tears over what could not be, and i won't go through that again.
i need my Dom to be accessible whenever, not just at certain times... Sorry, but married Doms are not for me..... SO please, if You ARE married, move right along....Better to just not go there, even as just friends...
Walked the dogs last night, was reminded of a VERY big pet peeve, and that is peope that have the musice too loud from their car blaring, and more annoying and maddening, LOUD BASS... i was wondering why people need the bass so loud it can be heard from several blocks away??? i don't care to be next to a car blarring the bass... Excuse me folks, but sound travels.. Thos lower frequencies come into the other person's car and shake it, bother my ear drums....
iMy next door neighbor is on eof the maintenance guys for our complex. He is a really super nice guy, but he ALWAYS has his music in his car loud!!! Grrrrrrrr.....i can hear the music from his car loud and clear into the kitchen, or hear soem of it coming into the living room... My bedroom is on the ground floor of a 3 story townhome, so his stuff comes right into my bedroom when he is in the garage- Lovely, juts lovely. Wokeme up twice last week when i was trying to lay down for a nap, cause i was exhausted. Needless to say, i was NOT happy.....
His bass from his home stero, man! i hear that bass on ALL 3 floors!! C'mon, peopel, what's up with that???? SImple consideration for your neighbors.. Don't go into any complex blaring the stereo, especially at night! That is so not cool.....Must really want to make enemies with the residents or soemthing.. Creful, soemone may call th epolice on you just for thta alone.. i have, an i will do so when it's keeping me awake at night...
Does that make me a bitch?? So be it.. i like my sleep, adn i don't wiash to hear another person's music coming into my home... i don't care for hip hop / rap that much at all, and my neighbor listens to that stuff ALL the time. He likes it, fine that's his hting, but don't have it so loud thta it keeps soemone else awake and it goes into their home... That's just rude....
Thing is, if it were not for his style of music and the volume at which he plays it, i could be interested in him ! LOL.... Go figure... As i said, my neighbor is nice, but the rap stuff and the bass /volume problem has got to go !! .. WOuldn't mind going for a ride on the back of that Harley.. Grinzzz..Oh Well.... Such is life... Giv eme someone IN the lifestyle, that won't play that hip hop mess, and also won't be blaring the volume in the car.... i would like to keep my hearing, thank you very much. |
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What am i about as a submissive, what do i want in a D/s relationship, from a Dom? As a submissive, i am opinionated, i am funny and love to raz one another. i love to give the Doms a hard time in a good natured manner, and make others laugh.. i like to listen and help out with someone's problem, if i can, and if time permist for me to speak to that person for as long as is needed..
i am a strong willed submissive, and tend to ask why a lot; i won't follow blindly. Blind trust is very dangerous, too. i try to be polite to those i don't like, but i won't respect them. As a sub, i tend to watch people, see how they interact, how they treat others, and make my decisions whom i will talk to...i watch the DOms, see how they trat others, and are treated in return. If i can't have a good conversation upon the first meeting with soemone, i won't talk with them again, mostlikely. i get bored easily
AS a submissive i need the structure, i need to know in no uncertain terms, where the boundaries are, what's expected of me. what punishments would be enforced if i didn't obey my One, etc. i need a Dom thta is stronger mentally than i, that is sharp and focused to see when i may be veering off course and can help me get back on, that will talk with me if He htought i was talking a lil too sarcastically. i do have a sarcastic sense of humor, and once in a while go too far with the joking. It doesn't happen often.
As a submissive, i reserve the right to call a Dominant Sir or Ma'am. i will NOT call every Tom, Dick, and Harry ' Sie'. Nope, not gonna happen. Any Dom that makes a big deal out of that fact is splitting hairs, in my opinion, and i won't waste my time with Him... i can NOT submit to someoen that would do that... Shows a lack of self confidence to me.
If i feel thta i can walk over the person wanting to guide me, if i feel in any way that he is not as strong as i need him to be, i wil not have enough respect to follow and obey. i would end up taking over, more likely.. i want the DOm in control, not me.. however, if i feel He can't handle that control, then yes, i WILL try to take hold of the situation....i was the one that made the decisions in my marriage and did the budget, made sure our bills were paid...
What do i wnat oin a Dom? Be decisive, self- assured... Confidence is sexy !! lol..... When i ask a question, i do NOT like hearing " you decide", or " I am fine with either one.".... i would rather make the wrong choice than no decision at all, simply out of boredom....
i get bored easily, as i am sure there are plenty out there who do as well. i would like to know how y'all would plan to guide Your sub... What things have You learned that give You the confidence to lead? DO You shout, do You lash out in anger? When angry do You walk away and cool off first??? Many submissive have an abusive past, and i am no exceptions, so i don't do well with shouting at me, or hitting the face area [ even if that is supposed to be for fun]... ANY Dom that tries to slap mein the face- even if it's play to them- i will fight back, i will hit back.
As a Dom, be aware how your sub acts when like say, at a munch or play party.. Make sureYou show me what You need to, what You want from me. WHen i am out in front of other Lifestylers, my behavior reflects on my One, and i would have NO wish to shame Him. i would want Him to be proud of me, and be confident that when i was out wiht others at a munch or such, that i would be respectful.. If anyone ahd a problem with me, i would expect them to take it to my Dom, and let HIM handle me.... i wil not let another Dom discipline me, and i don't think my One should, either....i don't mind a verbal correction if it is said in a respectful way, but i don't do well with another Dom other than my One meting out any other punishments.
i would like my DOm to be well learned in the kinky part of things, as there are many things i would like to explore. i would like Him to go to DEmo workshops if a new skill needs to be learned, and be Mentored by someoen that IS proficient in thta skill.
Communication------- This is paramount, and i wil be the first to admit that communicating face to face is a heck of a laot harder for me than online....i can get toungue-tied soemtimes. i need my One to be patient with me, to be a good listener... i need to know that i am safe in all things--- mentally, emotionally, physically...
i need my One to be Someone thta i can talk to just about anyhting, One that can create a haven for me to approach without fear of retibution for speaking my mind, for voicing my fears....i am a worrier, i am an emotional person, and need the Dom that will one day be my Master to give me as ense of balance.. i MUST have that sense of balance in my life...
be my friend first, please.. How can i dare trust and open upabout anything of deep value, if that trust isn't there??? i keep a great many things to myself.. i need to feel safe, not just for me, but for my daugyhter's sake as well...... Love me, love my daughter, and realize You will not always be first.. i am a mother first, my daughter has been i my life since the day i got prgnant with her..... i DO however, have room for another person to love and cherish, and make to feel special.. i NEED to have that person in my life , someday.... i need a male influence back in my life, i crave that companionship and closeness.. i crave to be guided in a way thta i don't feel forced, that i feel i can give control over to Him over myself, and not feel afraid...
i won't believe someone that says they are this or that right away.. i have seen too many phonies.. i have been hurt deeply by someone that was in my inner circle of friends, my very close confidante.. So no, don't expect me to trust right away.. This is going to be a process.....In the end, i can be very much worth the wait... Don't want to wait? Then move on, please, i won't waste my time with people like that..... My time is valuable, just as much as your's is... i DO have htings to do outside of the D/s world.. i have other obligations, so i won't always be available online when you want....
be a good DOminant, and watch over the One You have sworn to protect and cherish. If i accept someone's collar, i am trusting that i wil not be harmed in any way, that i WILL be protected and kept safe.... Mentally and emotionally, htis is imperative for me....The way the world is today, no, i don't feel safe. i don't trust a lot of guys, with good reason.. i want to trust one that wil make me happy, that will complement my spirit and make me feel like i am not so empty....
i am strong, i am smart, i know what i want....But there is a piece missing, and there is coming a time where i want that missing piece to fit back into the puzzle, and give me structure, give me love and safety, give me balance, give me peace.....
i am not at peace yet. This lifestyle, the life of D/s- i stongly believe there is that peace that i can have... It just won't be happening overnight, is all * smiles gently*.......
DO be a pet lover, preferably dogs.....Do NOT be married-- NO MARRIED DOMS NEED APPLY HERE!!!... NO poly, not my hting, thank you very much.... i have a hard time sharing someone i love with another.....
It is my hope to marry WHomever my future Master will be.. i am only 38, and have no intention of being together only once in a while.. i want, need to have 24/7.. i have done enough online stuff..... This is a big step for me, going towards that direction though, so be prepared- i wil be taking baby steps here....i have more than myself to think about...
Do i want to stay in Florida??? i highly doubt it... i don't really like South Florida. It has changed too much, is way too overcrowded, and the humidity is a killer...... If the guy is worth it, then yes, i will stay down here.. But for now, no.... |
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Wow, got quite a few e mails, which was cool. As a submissive, i have to let Any DOm know that i am not going to rush, i won't compromise myself to fit another's mold of what they think i should be, or want me to be. Right now, Y'all, if we are going to talk, it's going to be as possible friends first. If you don't like thta, then please move on. Also, don't expect me to give out my messenger name right away. That is given out only if i want tom if i felt comfortable in doing so.
Like i said, i am feisty. i can also be pretty darned blunt at times. i have seen too much stuff happening online and some in real time, too, to be real enthusiastic about rushing into a relationship. i CAN be impulsive at times, but in matters of the heart ( as my emotions WOULD become involved at soem point), i can get pretty darned stubborn... i am part Irish, so go figure LOL...
Sooo IF i were to go for a Dom, what would my standards be??? As a rule, i tend to drift towards those that are tall, since i am 5 feet 8 myself. i usually go for those 6 feet or over. This is NOT an absolute, however.Do i like a nice looking guy? Yes, but then i see a lot of guys wanting a Barbie figure, too, so don't get all huffy.... i am NOT a Barbie figure. i am a plus sized woman. ( That will scare of many right there!! grinzzz )...
Sooo what do i have going for me? i have brains, i have humor, i have insights, a curious mind, andfor that right One, i have a deep sense of loyalty and protectiveness for those i care about. If i had to say any one thing about myself, i would say it's getting to know people- their mannerisms and behavioral patterns. What brought them to where they are now??? Everyone has a story, and this sort of hting appeals to the writer in me. Yes, i write- some short stories, and quite a bit of poetry.
Any one bad thing about me?? Hmm, probably my temper. Patience is an acquired trait for this one, it does not come naturally. i have had to work hard to get to this point. Looking back, i have come along way, but there is alays room to improve in this department. When speaking to someone in a room, i may not always liek them, but i CAN be courteous. There is NO need to be bitchy , or acting like a Drama Queen, soemthing that is not my style at all. i wil try to disagree in a polite manner, but i DO insist on my right to disagree. Just becasue YOU believe in soemthing, don't expect me to automatically do so. i WILL ask "Why?"
i am strong willed- some may even say with switch tendencies, and there are times when that is easy to see. i follow a good leader, One that leads by example. DON'T tell me i better do this or that- that doesn't work with me, as i will just dig my heels in deeper and be more stubborn.... i guess y'all can say i am passive- aggressive....
i respond to One that would be more persuasive, using logic, patience, and setting a good example. Do the Dom's actions back up His words??? Hmmmm There's somehting to think about, now, isn't it?
i don't trust easily. If you think a sub/slave wil just open up on ANYthing, think again... This may seem like you know me.. Trust me, you don't. i will only let those that i trust know more about me.. It wil be along time before i trust completely.
Do i have walls> Yes.
Do i wnat to have them down? With the right One, yes, eventually.
Is it easy to bring those walls down, either by me or the Dom?? NO, it isn't, for a whole bunch of reasons....
Doms, whether it be me, or any other sub/slave you have your eyes on, be patient. Don't assume to know her, or me, casue You will be way off base.
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Hmm once more, i make an attempt to have a journal here. How much to say? Whta is enough, what is not? Right now, balance in all things is soemthing i am hoping and trying to attain. SOmetimes i feel i have it, other times i feel there is no balance. There are things in life outside of D/s which have a direct impact on that sense of balance, so it is an interesting ide, to say the least, living each day as it comes.
Trying not to look to far, i am training myself to take one day at a time. Too mnay htings happen when i get too ahead of myself. That is usually when i make too many mistakes in judgement. What i wish would happen isn't always what will, unfortunately.
i am a dreamer, so yes, there are times when i need a real big reality check, and i just got one recently. i am glad for it too, before my feelings for soemone went too far. Now that soem blinders have been removed, my perception of someone that was close to me ahs changed. Once the mindset changes, so do my emotions. If i feel i can't respect someone, my mind starts shutting down, and that close mental bond gets smaller until it is almost non existent. SOmetimes, i can be a very unforgiving person. Someone had good intentions and wants to help others, but i cannot really agree with the way he is going about to 'help' others for the most part, as it has cause a good number of them to end up being hurt with this One. Soem have only just recently come back into the lifestyle as a result of what this One did to them.
It is easy to think they should have known better, but some were new submissives, and even the more seasoned one got lulled into wanting more from this One, wnating to have a deeper relationship. Emotions were getting involved, and thta can always be a messy thing indeed... Whether this Dom had good intentions or not, i felt what He was doing was dead wrong, and indeed, may have just wanted to feel so important, needing to feel needed so badly, thta He encourages the attention lavished upon Him by these submissives, myself included. ... Yes, this included myself.....i am NOT going through that mess again. NO journalling for someone that is not my Mentor or my Master. If You are neither, don't expect me to reveal my deepest thoughts... oh , i can mention some things on here, but make no mistake- this is not the deeper layers of my being. That, i guard very jealously.
i hav ebeen called aloof, stuck up, sometimes, even a know it all. I DON'T knowit all, nor tdo i claim to. .. i do, however, have an opinion. i have a mind and i use it. Yes, i have atemper, although i DO try to treat O/others with common courtesy.
i think one can be polite without necesarily having respect for A/another... i am on here mainly for friendships.... yes, i like talking to Doms- i like getting another's point of view, i like trying to understand how Doms think, as this does eventually help me osmewhere down the line when i am dealing with certain issues in my life. Yes, i talk to plenty of submissives.
Sespite me talking a lot, i DO have many quieter moments, times when i feel very introspective. i talk to learn, to ask questions. i won't know unless i ask about soemhting thta has piqued my curiosity..... i have a curious mind, and i find people to be curious creatures. Learning about them fascinates me... If Y/you ask me soemthing, i tend to be blunt, so if Y/you aren't sure if Y/you want to hear the answer, i suggest Y/you don't ask me...
i am an aries, so diplomacy is not my strongest trait. What IS my greatest strength then? i liek to encourage people, listen, and soemtimes try to solve the riddle they face. i like hearing what is on their mind soemtimes... Mind y'all, this is sometimes.... There are times i just plain like to be alone. i enjoy being alone just as much as i enjoy talking to others. For the most part, i like talking on eon one,as htis allows me to get to know soemone better....
To me, a Dominant has a good sense of self control- this means in the way He views Himself, the way He treats other Dominants, as well as subs and slaves alike. It means the way he talks- language, courtesy, wisdom, etc....
D/s IS intense, folks.. This is NOT game, and anyone thinking it's about sex will be in for a huge let down from us submissives and slaves!!! D/s is very mental, veryemotional, and very intense!
The giving of one's self into the care of a Dominant is not easy to do. After all, this is making ourselves vulnerable. If Y'all htink that is aneasy hting to do, then YOU try to bare Your innermost fears, dreams, hopes and wishes, and see how uncomfortable that can be!
Now, if one just wants to have sex, find another that undertsands htis, but make no mistake, the communication and trust still have to be there.... To each his own as they say... For me, while yes, i want the sex, i cannot have that with just anyone. My mond and heart would definitely be involved. i don't do casual, where sex is concerned. If there is no mental connection, there wil never be any sex.
i am a submissive, i need to hear the words, AND see the actions to back those words up. A Dominant, to me, wil be able to do this. He will beable to let me know He cares, and show me with things He does, that i am special to Him. He will mean these things He says, and help me to trust, to see that He IS sincere. That is where it usually goes wrong in my book, though. Too many guys posing as Doms, saying things thta sound right, but their actions don't back it up.
People posing as subs or slaves can say they submit, but have they really submitted in their minds and hearts?? hmmmm.....Are THEY doing things that might showthe Dom that He is cared for???? As a submissive, there are times i wanted to do this, but fear of rejection can get in the way, fear of being laughed at, of laying myself on the line , only to gte burned and burned badly.....Scary scenario, that one.
So what is htis lifestyle to Y'all? What are YOU wanting form it, and are YOU doing anything to better Yourself(-ves), gaining more knowledge, trying to work on thta self cotrol, and being more patient, more compassionate? Are You wondering how You can get to truly understand a sub/slave, and doing whatever You can to make her/him realize that with You he/she IS truly safe, that You really would not betray that trust????
Trust takes a long time to build, Y'all, but only a few seconds or minutes to destroy. Dmage that trust, You have to start back at Square 1, and even then, it will never be the same...
Any that just want sex, i really have no wish to hear anything from Y'all... It's simply not my style. ANY DOm that is going to potentially going to be that "One", will be my friend first. i want to know the person behind the title.. i have rushed before and been burned.. Right now, i am not actively seeking, so i am not going to rush....This part will not be easy, being patient. This is soemthing i will simply have to be reminded about by my friends, by those that know me....i have to be picky, as i would not be the only person being affected by my choice.
i have a child, so any decisions will be based with her welfare in mind....This is the main reason why i won't- why i cannot rush.....
i want to eventually be 24/7.. i eventually wish to get married to the One that i get collared by.... He will be in contact with my child, so how He is in many different things, wil be weighed and judged. i am worthy, i deserve to have One that will treat me the way i need to be treated, i deserve to hold out for One that will also be a Father to my child, that will be a good influence....
There are some thta wil be running away as they see this, and that is fine... there are soemthat may want the job but won't relaly be able to handle it... There are soem that may want the job, but don't wnat them... Finding the right Dom will not happen overnight.. i wish it would, but Life never works like that. It's a reality that whil ei understand it intellectually, that in a day to day basis, can soemtimes be hard to remember....
Still, i won't compromise. i want more. i want it all, and i CAN have it. i want love to go hand in hand with the D/s.... There wil be many nilla aspects in my partnership with WHomever i call Master.. i can't be nude around the house all the time.. Please, get real... There is a child.. She will be protected from what i do, She does not need to know, nor should she.
That is my rambling for today.. i can get very opinionated but i have said enough for now, and it's getting late.. time to get offline, and take care of soem other htings now. |
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