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mello

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profile: https://.com/users/2182336. Much more current and I check in there daily. **Although I chose submissive as my role on my profile, I am just as into being the bottom in scenes without the domination and submission aspect. I enjoy sensory play and impact play with and without being dominated during a scene. I am open to topping in similar situation.** Although I am pretty new to , I was fairly active in the lifestyle for a couple years and have always been sexually submissive by nature. I had some involvement in the local community, mostly through workshops (Erotic Deviance and MSDB) and occasionally volunteering at events. I left the lifestyle about 5 years ago when I was pregnant (with twins) and then a stay at home mother but my kids are starting school next year and I am ready to return. I am single and not in a hurry to begin a serious longterm relationship, but I won't completely rule out the possibility of one if I meet the right person. My time will be quite limited until the fall but with planning I can spare some time to play. During the years I was active I had my limits tested and found that I enjoyed many things that I never would have thought of trying. For example I attended a workshop where the Violet Wand was demonstrated and I got to experience the many different attachments (with an audience) and really enjoyed it. I knew I was submissive and had a longtime interest in being spanked (with the hand or maybe a paddle) but never considered having other implements used on me or pain inflicted by other methods to be potentially enjoyable. Thanks to encouragement from a patient Top and role models in the community I experimented and found that there are things that are both painful and pleasurable to me. I love the endorphin high that controlled pain can give me if I am able to cope with the sometimes severe discomfort and reach the point where the pain turns to pleasure. I also love challenging myself to improve my endurance and ability to withstand increased levels of pain, even if I do not reach that point and the pain itself is far from pleasant. I may hate the pain while I am suffering it (making me popular with sadists), but afterwards when I have made it through more pain than I knew I was capable of tolerating, I feel proud and almost euphoric. I also like to be punished by my Dom when I make a mistake. Perhaps appreciate is a better way than like to describe my attitude towards being punished. I do not enjoy the punishment (nor do I want to..it would not really be punishment if I did) and I do not do the brat thing to provoke punishment. I would be happy if there is never a reason for me to be punished but realistically I realize that I will screw up or lose control and act impulsively at times. I prefer to please so I feel bad when I fail. Punishment is both something to correct bad behavior and atone for it. It is unpleasant and usually painful, but afterwards I can let go of any feelings of guilt and start over with a clean slate. I still have a big bucket list of things I want to try and many of them are testing my limits or what I think my limits are. I want to experience these things with a person or persons that are experienced, patient, and that I know will respect the use of safewords if I find the activity intolerable. I have a pretty high tolerance level and have never had to use a safeword but if I am going to try something new that both scares and excites me I need to know that it will be carried out safely and will be stopped immediately if I absolutely need it to be. Some things that I am especially eager to try only with experienced and skilled Tops are: * whipping with a single tailed whip * breast whipping Other things I have not gotten to experience yet are listed in my fetish list as things I am curious about and I will write journal entries describing in more depth specific ideas that I want to find playmates for. Things I know from experience that I enjoy: * submission * being spanked with and without implements as part of Dom/sub scenes * impact play * sensation play * sex toys ( a variety both receiving and using on others) * anal sex * role-playing * bondage (in Dom/sub scenes and top/bottom play) * flogging with a variety of implements, materials, and intensities * violet wands...if you own one and want a canvas to try out attachments and see the lovely marks they make my back is available. I would also like to learn how to use one on others. My fetish list contains more things I have done and am interested in doing again. The ones listed above are some of my favorites. If I have it as in interest, it is something I have done at least once and enjoyed. Things I haven't done are all listed as "curious about" even if I am certain that I will enjoy some of the activities. In addition I have detailed lists in the writing section of my profile. Things that are hard limits and I will NOT consider trying are: * cutting * burning/branding or anything that intentionally leaves permanent marks (with the possible exception of a violet wand branding by someone skilled at it if I specifically agree to it and okay the design or tattooing with the same requirements). * anal fisting * play with animals * electrotorture (electrical stimulation with devices such as TENS units is fine, bare wires or cattle prods are not). * play with anyone under 18 * anything involving the use of urine or feces * anything with a high possibility of causing serious injury or death such as gunplay Things that I may be willing to discuss in the future only with someone I have developed a relationship based on mutual trust are piercing, suspension,knive play,and breath play. For sexual orientation I chose bisexual but was torn between that, pansexual, and even heteroflexible. I hate having to choose a lable but I think most people would call me bisexual based on my past relationships and it is a widely understood term so I will use that for now. I have had more relationships with men both vanilla and kinky. I am less shy with men and have found it easier to initiate relationships or have NSA encounters with them. I have had two serious (vanilla) relationships with women and have not (so far?) had any sort of nonromantic sexual relationship with another female. I have also not played with a female top or Domme (although I REALLY want to and hope to soon). I am willing to consider meeting people of any sexual orientation and I do also enjoy play without sexual activity at times. I am totally open to people looking for playmates who are not also sexual partners or even just friends to attend events with. Gender is not the primary thing that affects whether I am drawn to a person. I enjoy meeting people of any gender, genderqueer, gender-flexible, gender transitioning, etc. if we seem to have common interests. ### I honestly am not very interested in any more male sexual partners who don't offer something additional such as friendship or shared fetishes. My current friends are enough to more than satisfy any vanilla cravings I may have. ;-) I am interested in playing with couples or pairs of any gender combination as long as one or even both will top. In my non-kinky life I am proudly geeky. I love to read (nonfiction, sci-fi, classics, thrillers), I write fiction and poetry, and I repair and build computers for fun. I am terrible at flirting. I love Broadway music, 80's pop and metal, country music (mostly from the 90s), and a wide variety of music from the 60's and 70's. I can recite large sections of my favorite Shakespearean plays. My favorite television shows right now are Shameless, The Walking Dead, The Following, Once Upon a Time, and Smash. I am an Android enthusist who dabbles in development of custom roms and a social media aficionado. I am a BBW (or curvy, thick, whatever adjective you want to use) so if you only want someone that looks like a model then keep looking. For kicks I took that quiz that a lot of people post on their profile. According to the results I am: Submissive 89% Experimental 89% Masochist 82% Bondage 61% Exhibitionist / Voyeur 57% Switch 43% Degradation 36% Dominant 7% Vanilla 7% Sadist 7%