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About me: I'm a white male, UNMARRIED and without baggage, healthy (STD-free) and active, naturally assertive with a positive approach to living. All things considered, I enjoy a very good life. That's probably because I make good decisions. I value solid relationships, respect, trust and good judgment. When I'm faced with problems, I work to make things better. I'll face up to a challenge but will walk away from a lost cause. I'm evolved enough for the "big head" to do the thinking. I'm a self-starter who knows how to actually create, manage and make things happen. I always push to reach my objectives yet realistic in knowing that I won't always win. I'll settle for most of the time.
I'm aggressive. I admit it. I've always been that way. But to be aggressive without control is to be abusive, and that I'm not. I'm very capable of drawing that line in my mind and not crossing it. That's a key to D/s which I enjoy very much. I enjoyed D/s long before I even had a name for it. The attitude is a part of me. As I've grown and matured, other qualities have developed to enhance and complement my dominant personality, qualities like self-control, self-awareness, understanding, compassion, intelligence, humor, respect and ethics.
Done well, D/s allows a submissive to abandon her inhibitions, to free herself of that armored shell, to embrace her natural essence. D/s can be lighthearted play or intense training, or whatever we want it to be. D/s should always be a positive and fulfilling experience. Personally, I most enjoy D/s as part of an ongoing loving, supportive, constructive relationship.
On a specific note, I enjoy controlling a woman's orgasms - when, how powerful, how many, and her roller coaster journey getting there. Maybe it's a shorter roller coaster ride, going right to the edge but not quite over, until finally it's all you can do to just breathe. Especially for those with a bratty nature, when mouthing off means extensive sexual arousal without orgasm, even the sassiest submissive gets motivated to do better.
The woman I want is eager to explore her submissive tendencies and fantasies. She will trust me to safely push her erotic threshold. Why? Because I can and will earn that trust. I don't expect blind obedience nor do I demand absolute devotion. She willingly gives because she knows I am worthy of her loyalties. The ties that bind her most intensely to me are in her heart and her mind.
My Ideal Person: She is a woman who enjoys the freedom of being bound, forced, exposed and helpless. Without D/s, she is out of sync with herself. When immersed into D/s, she is at peace and in that sub space where everything in the universe makes sense. She wants nothing more than to please her Dom, the man who sees into her soul and satisfies her hunger as a submissive.
When tied, helpless and vulnerable, her mind is charged up like an electrical storm. She wants to give up her own pleasure to her Dom, trusting that he will be generous and reward his faithful girl. She has learned that self-pleasure simply doesn't have the meaning or value it used to, preferring instead to receive those pleasures from her Dom. She understands that her Dom considers her not as a commodity but as a woman, a sexual creature, and as his own. She respects that her Dom controls her orgasms, that they come only with his permission.
She welcomes corporal punishment from her Dom in whatever form he decides. She is comfortable in her Dom's intentions, and confident that any pain she endures by his hand is done with care and will never damage her. She knows this experience is meant to inspire her to become both a better person and a more pleasing submissive to her Dom. And of great importance, she knows her Dom will never engage in D/s if he is angry.
She's a woman who's eager to push her boundaries, taunt her comfort zone, and bitch-slap those "good girl" expectations. Most importantly, she trusts me that she will remain safe while embracing her carnal desires.
As an honest submissive, she is true to her nature and submits without qualification. She does not try to manipulate like ordering from a menu. She confidently believes that her Dom understands what she wants and needs, that he respects she has valid reasons to avoid certain activities, and that he places her mental, emotional and physical safety as paramount over anything else, even his own pleasures.
As her Dom, I don't need or want to change her core, to break her or to hammer her into a mindless drone. In truth, I enjoy a spirited attitude. Her spirit and intelligence are two of the many parts that make her interesting to me.
I want her to be open to talk with me, to freely explore her thoughts, fears and emotions. D/s includes many activities. We can explore whichever ones we want, maybe even make up a few on our own. But most important is the trust, communication and bond we create that gives us the ability to safely explore these uncharted territories. If she's challenged by being truthful or showing good character, we're not a good match so please move along.
In everyday life, she is intelligent, compassionate, attractive, single and healthy. There is no "perfect". Race is not an issue but being STD-free is. Good communication skills are very important; if she doesn't have them, we will work on improving them. She appreciates that her honesty is willingly matched by my own. She understands that the scene is never as important as the people in it. We both know it takes time to build the necessary trust so we don't need to rush. But endless emails, etc. also won't get us where we want to go. Be prepared to chat, including video chat so we both know that we're serious. Experience in D/s is obviously not necessary.
LTR is preferred, especially 24/7. To that end, I have no expectations, only goals. I prefer a lasting relationship and am open to suggestions. Of all the variables, there are many we actually control. I am in control my character, moral compass and my ethical standards. I can safely say that if she respects me and remains honest with me, she'll have a very good friend beyond D/s. I hope for the same from her.
One final note: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE WILL I SEND ANY MONEY IN ADVANCE OF MEETING. I have no problem in reimbursing for legitimate travel expenses. I know, I've been called "not serious", "not trusting" and much more, all by "subs" who have already professed "undying love" (my seductive power during a text chat is apparently pretty amazing!) I will NOT send you money because you "don't have money to come to me", or "your Internet is going to get disconnected", or to pay for your food or rent. If you are real and serious, but don't have money to travel, either borrow from someone you already know and who trusts you, or earn the money honestly. Once you are here, I will promptly cover those travel costs.
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