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| I enjoy even the thought of submission. Letting go of every want but one. The desire, need, addiction to please someone. The hope that I can put a smile on their face, that I can serve them in a way that benefits them and makes them happy. I've tried all my life to engage in moments where I can give something up to help another. It's natural to me, and I can't imagine ever being able to pretend otherwise. Sure, I've acted dominant before, because the person needed and wanted it. So even in dominance, it was just another form of submission.
I don't want to be a slave, I don't want to be forced to submit. I want to do it willingly. Sure the thought of a spank or a correctional punishment here and there is fine, but I'm not like this just for kicks. I genuinely am this way, and it feels simply... natural.
In the mean time, there I am cross dressing in my pictures. Perhaps sexist, but maybe more by design, feminine things make me feel more vulnerable and weaker. Add to the docile feeling and perhaps erroneously, I feel "sexy" too. It is more about how they make me feel even more in line with my submission than any desire to be more girly. At the very least, that is how I diagnosed myself.
I love a good book or a good movie, getting lost in other worlds and ideas. I'm not completely detached from this world, I just find the others so interesting. I end up playing games board or video or otherwise to experience the same liberation. This has made me an avid RPer as well. So if you have some secret D&D or other RP chat something or other going on in some corner of the internet, I'd love to join in, give me a shout!
Also in my interests, but I love cooking. I just go a little nuts when I do it. I'll buy tons of ingredients and try to make some over the top gourmet dish. So I don't do it too often, otherwise I'd have no time and money!
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