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NOTE: BEFORE READING FURTHER,KNOW THAT I AM DISABLED AND THAT WILL NOT CHANGE, SO IF YOU DO NOT THINK A DISABLED GIRL CAN FULLY SERVE YOU, THEN NO NEED TO READ FURTHER, AS YOU WOULD BE WASTING YOUR TIME!! ALSO PLEASE KNOW THAT MY REALATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND THAT MEANS I WANT AND NEED MY MASTER TO BE A MAN OF GOD!THANK YOU!
Why is it, that men on here, contact me... only to mess with my emotions???!!! I wish the men on here would understand that people are not here, to be messed with and used as a phone slut to get them off!! Maybe I shouldn't speak for others, but I know I am not and I am tired of men expecting me to only do that.
I do understand my place as a sub, but if men want a TPE out of me it isn't going to happen and it can not be forced on me. I have my opions, desires, wants, needs and limits...and I will make them known, in a respectful way. I am not here for sexual submissiveness only so if that is what you seek, past me by!!
Please, again only email me if you have serious intentions and do not just want a girl to be your online and phone slut. At the sametime, know that I will not meet in person for sometime, there are several things that need to be talked about and addressed before such a thing is done.
Do not contact me, if you are looking for a girl to collar in 5 minutes!! It will not happen!! It also will take some time, to make sure it is something we both want.
I know,exactly what I want and I will not settle!! I will also not allow a man to fear me into submitting to him. I feel that my submissivness is something that I should freely want to give not something that will be taken from me. Yes, I am a strong person, but I know my place!
PS....I will show a photo upon request.
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So, I haven't gotten any messages in I don't know how long...I come here almost every day checking for messages....and there isn't any...when there is a message...its always from someone saying keep my head up, that the one I am suppose to be with is out there....well, where is he???????????
Maybe, this isn't the site for me, and I should just give up and close everything down, but I keep hoping people are right...so I am going to give it till the end of Feb. and if I don't meet someone I connect with, I am closing everything down. |
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Its offical! "Sir" was just playing with my emotions! I looked on his profile just now..and it showed that he was online today, however I haven't heard from him in over a month!
So, I am giving up! I will no longer be seeking anyone out at all.
If you wish to email me, then please do so and I will do my best to reply.
But, I have come to know who the players are very quickly, so if you are a player...don't waste your time, because I will just delete your mail...but if there is any real man out there, who wishes to seek things out...please email me.
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I have heard it all, I think!
I had someone email me today and say "how can you think God has a master plan for you? that is so ignornate, past the levels of sanity!"
And wouldn't you know it, when I sent him an email, to say "I am sorry you feel that way, I will pray for you" He had blocked me! Now why would he do that?
I think it was because a lil voice told him, I would email him back and say such a thing, and that lil voice was God, so to this person...if you read my journal again, know that I am praying for you! |
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Happy New Year!!!!
It looks as though I will be going into the new year, without a Master/Daddy.
I know that God has a plan for me. He has revealed to me, what my life's purpose is, but he hasn't yet given me a timeline of when things happen! I know that it is all in God's time, I just hope that I don't have to go to much longer without the Master/Daddy that is for me, because it becomes harder every day, to guide myself thru the world!
But, this does not mean that I will just be a sub to anyone either.
I have read so many journals, and profiles of people who say that they are tired of the fakes, and that they are not one...So, to all of you, please email me...after reading my profile...if you feel that I could be the one for you!
If, you do not think I could be the one for you...and you just don't wanna be my friend...then please do not waste my time, with emails! I do not mean to be disrespectful to anyone...but I just have no desire to play games with anyone! I hope that all the game players would do the rest of us a favor and take your profiles down and stop emailing people!
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"Sir", must read my journal entries! I got an offline from him yesterday...out of the blue...saying he was sorry for not messaging sooner..but that he had been super busy lately!
I am really kinda leary, about talking to him again...because I don't know if its true, or just an excuse!
I want to think the best of him. And I am all for second chances, so I guess I will see if I get anymore messages from him and go from there, but I don't think I will be sending any messages, any time soon!
I don't wanna put all my eggs in one basket so to speak. And not get the chance to meet others, because I am waiting for "Sir," due to the fact that, I feel at this point he and I would have to start over, and that I am not under his consideration anymore!
So, for any Master's out there that read my profile and want to get to know me better....please email me! |
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Well, it has happend again! I have once again gotten my hopes up, just to be shot down!!!
"Sir" has dropped from the face of the earth. I guess, that he has lost interest and went onto, another girl.
I am not, sure what the lesson is here?
Is it that he wasn't the one?
Is it that I did something wrong?
Is it that I am just a bad girl in general that I will never find the one?
Is it that God has another plan for me?
I don't know what the lesson is here, but I do know that I will not allow it to effect me, as I did the other ones and allow it to kill my spirit, that I have to again bring back to life on my own.
If it is, God's will for me to be alone...I wish that he would find another way, for me to figure that out...because even though I am not going to allow this to kill my spirit, it still causes me pain.
So, maybe I need to be a lil more upfront..and state it more clearly. IF YOU ARE NOT, HERE TO SEEK ME OUT IN REAL, DO NOT TEASE ME AND WASTE MY TIME. HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON, NOT TO DO THAT KIND OF DAMAGE TO ME OR MY SPIRIT! THANK YOU |
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I talked to "Sir" again today! We are learning more about each other. I think things are going well with him.
He told me today, that if he had 2 girls....I would be the Alpha! That made me so happy and made me smile!
However, he hasn't decided if I am yet to be his full time girl.
He is teaching me small lessons. The lesson right now, is patience! He told me tonight, that I need to learn the girl goes at her Master's pace. And that she always walks a step behind him....when he moves...she moves...when he stops..she stops.
I find his words so strong! I find myself wanting to be better and do better so that he will choose me.
I can't wait to talk to him again and learn another lesson, and hopefully become one step closer to being his sub!
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It has been a few months, since I have made an entry here. There are a couple of reasons for that:
1. It had been quiet. I wasn't getting any emails.
2. I wasn't sending any emails to anyone.
3. When I did get some emails...the talks never lasted more then a week.
However, all that changed about two days ago! I met a gentlemen, I will refer to as "Sir." He is a very nice man.
It surprised me, that we clicked because he is my age! I usually do not click with men my age for a lot of different reasons.
But when I talked to him, I found myself smiling and feeling very happy! Something, I hadn't felt in a long time.
He understands me so well. There is no pushing me. He wants to go slow, which is something that is very important too me.
He hasn't tried to collar me! Something I respect. I am tring to not go into this, being over hopeful because I do not want to get hurt. But things are very much looking up!
We have had a few conversations on here. Each time, it seems that he and I become more and more on the same page with things.
I honestly, never thought that I would find that with a man my age, but it is very comforting that I have.
I am excited about continuing to get to know him and see what happens. And who knows, maybe he is the One I am suppose to serve.
But I am not going to focus on that right now. Right now, he and I both need to focus on getting to know each other and make sure the excitement of things, isn't blinding.
I would like to thank him, for him allowing me to have this time to get to know him. Thank you Sir, you know who you are!  |
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Things, are quiet here today. No messages to reply to.
I am still debating, if I should be the one to message people. I am not sure about it.
I don't want to come off to pushy. Then again, I don't want people to think, I am not serious about finding the One for me, because I am very serious.
HHHhhhhaaa, What is a sub to do?????????  |
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Things, are looking up!!! I met a really nice girl on here.
We kind of met on accident. She sent me, a invite to chat. I then, sent her an, email letting her know, that the chat feature doesn't work for me on here. And gave her my yahoo email, letting her know, if she still wanted to chat, that she could im or email me on there.
I got an email from her a few hours letter, telling me that she didn't remember ever sending me, an invite!!
Well, she did im me on yahoo, we began talking. I was telling her about my current sistuation in looking for a Daddy, and how I had met some not so good ones in the past.
Her and I, talked for quiet some time, and by the end of the conversation, I felt much better about myself and my sistuation.
She also, helped me become a part of a Yahoo group, so that I may seek help and meet new friends.
I found comfort in her story about her life and search. And now we are sisters in the lifestyle!!
I hope, that one day, I can meet her in person and give her a hug and tell her how much better I feel about myself and things going on in my life.
If you read this sis, thank you for everything...and I know that we are gonna be great friends, for a very long time. |
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Here's to hoping, that I will find the Daddy, that I know is out there for me. I know, that I am to serve a man. Every man that I have met on here though, seems to have a different idea of service. I have had so many people tell me, that BDSM, isn't about sex, yet every man that has contacted me, wants only sex, or it is the main reason for getting a sub...or they want someone they can just walk all over and treat them like trash. I know, once I find the right man, it will bring out a side of me, that I haven't even seen fully. I am very excited at that thought. I am very old fashion, and just wish and want to serve a man in that way. I want to be his help mate, not his sex mat. I will find you, and I will serve you, as I was put here to do. So, till then, keep safe and don't stop looking for me!!!! |
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