I have had vanilla relationships in my life and there is a part of me that both needs and enjoys the normal interaction that exists between a couple in the vanilla world. I don’t think it is realistic to maintain a scene-like dynamic at all times. However, there is also a part of me that needs something beyond the vanilla aspect of a relationship where I defer control to the woman that I love and trust. I am seeking someone with whom I can share aspects of the vanilla world while maintaining an ever present undercurrent of BDSM.
I am a multi-faceted person in my vanilla life. I have a solid career which I am interested in continuing to build. I actively participate in three sports and maintain a high level of personal fitness. I enjoy eventful life. I am very well traveled and going to new countries and places is a huge passion of mine. I would be most compatible with someone who shares my interest in travel and has a general curiosity about the world around them. I want to continue to explore new places and it would be meaningful to share that experience with someone I love.
I am a planner and saving and preparing for my future is important to me. I believe in striking a healthy balance between planning for the future and enjoying life today. I am willing to spend on travel and life experiences, but I am not a very materialistic person. I believe that a similar philosophy in this area is an important component in a long term relationship and I am looking for someone who shares my financial values.
I am generally attracted to career oriented women. There is something very sexy and powerful about a woman in her business attire making decisions and handing out assignments. I find education and success attractive and deserving of my respect. I am interested in women who are within 5 years of my age (either direction) although there are exceptions to everything in life. I prefer a woman that takes care of her body and enjoys physical activities as it gives us one more thing in common. Like all men, I’m fairly visual and it’s important that I’m attracted to you.
Most of the time I imagine our relationship would function as a normal partnership and it would also appear that way to friends and family. We will laugh together, be supportive of one another, travel together, and be friends. However, we will share the understanding that she is ultimately the boss and I am her submissive partner. Behind closed doors (and perhaps discretely in public) she will direct me, lead the relationship, and I will work to satisfy her.
She would value my opinion and have my best interests in mind. I realize that she will sometimes make decisions that I don’t like, but I will be able to accept them trusting that she cares about me and would not intentionally do something in conflict with my best interests. I want to be with a woman who values my submission and feels that while she may play the lead role, my role is also valuable. I am attracted to a woman who can assert her dominance without the need to raise her voice or lose her temper. I will know by a look or gesture whether or not I am pleasing her. I will strive to remain in her good graces by being a supportive partner in the relationship and meeting her expectations.
She is decisive and firm in her use of punishment and discipline when I do not meet those expectations, but she does hold a grudge after she has punished me or made her point. She recognizes my strengths and may delegate responsibilities in the relationship accordingly for the benefit of both of us.
Lastly, I desire to be completely submissive to her in the bedroom. That doesn't mean I expect kinky sex all the time, it just means I don't have expectations in the bedroom except to perform in the way she chooses. That could mean vanilla sex, just cuddling, or even satisfying her sexual needs and then being told that playtime is over. I am an affectionate person and would be at my best with someone who is also very affectionate.
She is a girlfriend, mentor, boss, and a goddess. I hope she is out there looking for me too.
