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evilpuppy

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About me

You are red velvet, Montmartre, polished wood of my violin, old red wine. You are a long historical novel with a bit of blood and a bit of laughter in it.
-- D

How it all started

Many years ago, after sporadic and unaware peaks into very common and borderline vanilla activities, I've been initiated to BDSM by a trained physician who gave me a profound insight about many relevant aspects of it, from the most practical ones, like anatomy, neural reactions to stimuli, body-language reading, safety, first aid, techniques, instruments' hygiene and maintenance, to the most abstract and theoretical, like gender-roles, power dynamics, shadow-playing, consent. As a switch she taught me everything from both perspectives. As a bottom, topped by her, I learnt how to control my senses, set my body into fine-tuning my perception, take off, come down and acquired a broad vision of bottom's standpoint, thus so I can better grasp a bottom's mind. This vision has been my greatest asset as Dom.

Vision

BDSM is advanced sexuality and sometimes a tool to discover otherwise very well guarded corners of our inner world, re-enact, in a safe space made of symbols, pivotal episode of our emotional life and even heal from unresolved wounds.

Approaches and attitude

Warm, caring, tuned. Although I enjoy playing "shallow" games with virtually anyone I'm attracted to, I find people I know and trust more agreeable by far, when it comes to dive deep down into our respective rabbit holes. I have a keen passion on storytelling and I enjoy telling tales I made up or anecdotes of my sexual life during scenes. I usually craft my tales around my partners' fantasies. Tales are powerful tools, they can set the mood before or in the beginning of a scene, they are Rorschach inkblots you can use to read your partners and they can fill long moment of silence (a complex kinbaku form can take even hours to be set up). Even though I gather how a good negotiation is critical and it is also a big part of the game (images of giggles, blushing, appalled expression, moans, tears are in my mind in this moment), I very much enjoy using my intuition, when playing with old time partners.

From personal communication with a vanilla girl

Bdsm is not a deal breaker, at least for me, first off because is not mandatory to enjoy sex and intimacy. As a matter of fact I hardly ever do it with people I'm not very intimate with: the amount of trust you need to empower someone else to do you "scary" things is not a privilege for everyone. Second thing: bdsm is a broad topic and can assume very subtle forms. For example I hardly ever met someone who didn't like the idea of being tide up to a bed and let their (loving, caring, skilled and wonderful) partner do a lot of "magic" things to their helpless body. Magic things can be also just teasing, or gentle love making. That feeling of helplessness is a powerful erotic turn on. This is already bdsm, as though as pretending to be a cat and rub your muzzle on your partner's chest, purring and let them cuddle your tummy: you are playing a game of consensual, enjoyable, pleasant submission ("I am your pet"). It is just fun and, with the right persons, is a big source of intimacy. When someone unused to it hear about bdsm, usually, start thinking directly about whips, fire, needles, sharps, pain, public humiliations and extreme sensations whereas the reality is not only different, but actually completely the opposite. Every form of sexual interaction implies some sort of (willing and consensual) power exchange: there is always someone who assumes some sort of leading role, though minimal or even prone to role reversals. Pain is never pain, but just a sensation. All the bdms thing is just smoke and mirrors, a game, like those game you made as children, where you pretend to be a strict teacher, a cowboy or a doctor, and players sometimes know how to play it so good, make it so real that when someone else sees it from outside they really believe that a poor submissive is enduring a lot of pain and humiliation inflicted by a sick psycho who enjoys seeing his victim suffering, whereas what is really going on is exactly the opposite: a submissive having some of his most deep and secret fantasies realised in a very safe, consensual and trusted environment by a very careful, empathic, perceptive dominant who is taking pleasure in pleasuring his "victim".

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dirtycourtney
 
 Submissive, Age:  27
 Boston, Massachusetts
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