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| There's a bit of a paradox involved in a bdsm relationship that has always bothered me.
Basically, "slavery" is illegal and morally wrong. :P So, if a person is a "real dominant" that could very easily mean the guy has some type of psychological disorder or need to be abusive to women.
If the guy realizes that there is a real problem with being a real "dom" and he embraces the "fantasy" aspect of being dominant, and plays his "role" as a dominant, then you get Dungeons and Dragons or Ren Faire and not bdsm. :P
Is there a way out of this? I believe so. The only acceptable male dominant is a guy who is 100% honest with himself, self-actualized and does not engage in fantasy domination. He "dominates" because he knows that certain special and creative people have a "secret" and periodic need to be "dominated." The truly "real" dominant male dominates as an act of altruism and empathy.
Ergo my monitor: empatheia...the ancient Greek word (transliterated) which not only means empathy but also passion.
Yes, I derive immense gratification from watching a partner lose herself in submission while the partner knows that I am a person who can be trusted with her submission.
Conversely, since bdsm is not a ruse or display for me in which I have to masquerade as a dominator :P, I have no problem being lost in my own submission to another.
Eliminating all the pretense provides a much purer experience.
Wanna try? :)
I do not have a photo up because of my profession and the hypocritical stigma against bdsm - but we can exchange photos later if you wanna.
About me: I have done alot of work in the non-profit world. I've volunteered alot and I love reading, art, classical music etc.
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