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My core
I'm strong enough to be vulnerable.
Persona
My dominance is an integral part of my personality. So, if you aren't interested in the other parts of me, then don't waste your time reading more.
In Europe, the Dutch have a reputation of being blunt and even rude.
Well, I am Dutch and I'm quite blunt and direct with people I care about.
Yet, I'm old school as far as manners are concerned.
I'm soft spoken, a good listener, stubborn, loyal to a fault, generous, clamming up when I feel judged and not listened to, sometimes not as assertive as I should be for my own sake, liberal even to Dutch standards (so an absolute radical left winger to American standards).
I'm also agnostic, extremely right handed, generally fairly organized, creative, absolutely fascinated by glass as an art form, an unrelenting bull terrier if I feel unanswered (yet: "red", is always perfectly okay); "trying to lick brains", as a friend recently put it.
In Meyer-Briggs terms: INFJ.
Moderately introvert and judging; fairly strong on feeling; extremely strong on intuition.
Dominance and sadism
I'm a natural leader and have been since I was a kid. Yet, I am not the lone knight fighting the dragon. I'm more the platoon commander who needs to know that his company has his back. And no, I'm not afraid to charge first.
To me: dominance and submission evolve around three essential elements:
mutual connection, the twins of trust and vulnerability, and sexual attraction (and indeed: 'mutual' apllies to all three).
The first step is a connection on a intellectual, emotional and hopefully spiritual level. Activate my brain (way bigger than my penis...), touch my heart, and my body will follow.
This is essential. Without trust (and the flipside of that same coin: vulnerability): connection cannot grow.
Sexual attraction is completely unpredictable. Closely related to connection though. Yet: totally independent of age, body type, looks and all those other things that will change over time.
Yes: I do like to inflict pain, but only in as far as it enhances a deeper level of connection. Just flogging the crap out of a masochist, is absolutely not my thing. I want to empower both my submissive partner and myself. I feel pride when my partner uses a safeword, because that implies that she feels strong and confident enough with me, to do so.
Indeed, it requires as much inner strenght to submit, as it takes to take on the responsability to dominate.
Limits
My limits are evolving.
I'd never thought I'd play with a knife, but I did. The scared trust, it took from my partner, was utterly amazing!! Trust being way more important than the fear of course...
Right now: I'm hardly interested in water sports; definitely not interested at all in blood, scat..
Other limits:
You are not allowed to use my profile in any way, shape or form;
And no, I do not accept friendship requests easily; unless we have met at an event, are both members of a local group or have a mutual friend, I'm not likely to accept such a request. Absolutely not without any previous conversation.
Enjoy your own, unique journey!
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