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Hey there,
I've been out of the lifestyle for a couple of years and recently made the decision to look for a submissive partner after realizing that "this" was a big part of what is missing in my life.
At 38 I'm at the point where I'm seriously looking for a monogamous partner - someone who enjoys the lifestyle but isn't in it just for the sex. I believe part of the pleasure of the lifestyle is in the relationship between myself and my sub. I like to have conversations beyond the "do this, kiss that, suck this" - that's fun and all but seriously, we don't live in a fantasy world where we just do the BDSM stuff or whatever without paying attention to our partner's feelings, wants, desires etc.
So Me:
I have a great job, friends, have hobbies and basically do what I want, when I want to. I think I'm reasonably attractive, fun, amazing sense of humour and generally like to laugh and make others laugh.
What I'm not is an asshole Dom who expects to much too soon. The challenge of a BDSM relationship is that you need to focus on the relationship side as well as the BDSM side. It's a challenging dynamic to achieve - perhaps that why it's so difficult to make it last.
So You:
You need to be fun. I like to laugh and yes, I can be 100% serious but the laughing part is essential to having a sane, normal relationship outside of the slaps and tickles part. You need to be open, part of the lifestyle is a willingness to explore sexuality. I believe having limits is important but in the context of a safe and fun BDSM relationship willingness to explore each other is a huge part.
Other than that, let's chat first - see if there is potential, mutual attraction and that neither one of us is crazy - well, I know I'm not crazy and I'll let you know if you are!
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