5/11/2013 12:22:10 PM: Friend: If one knows he is moth to the flame does it follow that he will get burned? Me: Do moths get burned or do they flit back and forth between desire and pain? Friend: Pain, not punishment? Me: not even pain, though that's part of it. Desire and fear. Friend: Oh Me: More to the point, the flame is just there, offering. If the moth comes, it gives what is sought. Friend: I get it.....shit.

1/26/2012 7:12:21 PM: Two lessons I learned this week but the one that applies to all you CM people is this: I've seen that many people here complain about 'liars and fakes.' I feel for all you people but I think closer to the truth is that it is extremely difficult to connect on a deeply personal level via email, text, IM or even phone conversation. There is something about engaging a person face to face at an event, or seeing their look and body language from across the room and knowing, just KNOWING that you have a lot in common. For the most part it takes a LOT of effort to do that in a two dimensional communication medium. I've met several people recently that I thought I could have a bigger relationship with, but they disappear or have busy lives and they didn't connect at the same level I did. It takes a huge amount of effort to create a connection long distance. I don't think that makes them...or me...a fake or liar, it's just life happening.  Having said ALL that (whew) there are fakes and liars here but they are pretty damned easy to spot. There age/sex/height/weight just don't align with the real world.  Here's an example of me failing another person on here. I was in a relationship with a submissive and our dynamic was Daddy/girl. We also mentally committed to the polyamory idea of playing with other people, theoretically. She and I both found ourselves being jealous of the opportunities the other would have. I cancelled two different opportunities with a person who was in town for vacation, not to see me specifically but we had plans. That person now considers me a flake and a liar and has blocked me. It makes me a little disappointed because my INTENT was not to stand him up and be a flake, nevertheless that was the impression he got from me. I like to be in integrity in all my relationships and I wasn't with him, because of my girl's desires. I vow to do better. 

1/4/2012 6:08:09 PM: Time to update my journal. Changes in my life give me more time and interest in acquiring a full time slave/submissive. I'm looking for someone with a slave heart. Whose happiness comes from serving and desires to be used and abused by their Master. I'll teach you what I want mentally and physically but I'm not interested in breaking a willful slave and building them up to a proper slave. I will be the Master that takes care of you and takes what he wants. 

5/4/2010 6:07:36 PM: I think I'm somewhat of an enigma in the BDSM world. I like to play intensely but I don't put off the persona of a strict, humorless Master. I wear clothes that are by societal norms, unusual, but at the same time, they aren't stereotypical leather and whip look either. I am controlling and domineering but caring and compassionate too. Being such an enigma I think it's hard for subs/slaves to tell whether we would fit well together. Oh well, I am who I am. 

4/29/2010 10:32:55 PM: Changed the picture so I'd better change the journal entry that says I'm not crazy in love with it. Because I AM crazy in love with this picture. Not the picture itself but the thought of being on a bike. Anyway, peace to you all, except perhaps the one who chooses to be my sub, no peace for you tonight, bitch. :)