I am the monster people let off the leash when they need some dirt done...I am that very same monster when they have no further use for my kind, they expect me to just simply sleepwalk back to the cage like a good dog. I am the monster of your darkest most heated adolescent night sweats and I am the same monster expected to be silent...be quick...be deadly, then be gone. I am the reality you can't understand because it mirrors your most basic primal hate for what we do and what we have become...More focused now, All I can hear is comms. chatter. I can feel the adrenaline flowing freely. My heart pounding through my chest, sounds more like giant iron door knockers on a thick solid oak doors leading into a cavernous great hall... but no time for that now, I fall back on the skills I was taught and my mind keeps me steady. It keeps me from being you...blind, deaf and afraid. It keeps me firmly rooted, every slightest move, deliberate and calculated. I shall allow all fear to pass and become what sets your soul on fire and burns you to the core where you dare not see...truly free, without limits nor bounds. My chains are severed, my minds shackles, broken, shattered into pieces. Can you look at yourself and say the same? The next time you seek demons, look no further than your closest and dearest missteps. This 'monster' will not be there to be your whore...anymore. Steady now, there's work to be done, dirty deeds and the whipping boy has come home to strange eyes and unfamiliar faces...those faces that once gazed upon me with longing are now those of discourse and fiery discontent with the carnage that is me. The destruction they wrought now stands at the doorstep and truth doesn't matter to far too many...I will bear this burden until my dying day and smile when you have need of me and spit in my face upon my return. I am not what you have made me but rather what mettle was in me made itself, honed and carved to a sharp edge...now I am broken you say? I'M THE BROKEN ONE!?!?! Allow yourself to really think about that and let it sink in for a minute. Call on me to face YOUR demons, because you can not manage to find your spine and I'm the broken one...I have lived, where as you, you're just not dying, living out the lies you tell yourself in a futile attempt to escape your own unreality...I can not live in a cage where as you, build the cage, maintain the cage and invite others to the cage corruption built. Your life is infectious, poison...and you think I'm the monster?

Score is settled, life is good, came out of it with all body parts and faculties intact :-)

Peace everyone, I've got to go do right by myself and settle a score that is part of my birthright. For those of you whom I've talked with, I hope to hear from you and to be able to respond, take care now y'all.

And the hits just keep on coming... A close friend of mine who was Force Recon (Marines) in Vietnam has passed away due to a terminal form of cancer. May he guard the gates of heaven as well as he did the earth against hell's forces... RIP William Bailey!!!

I haven't smoked a cigarette in over 24 hours, was at the laundromat today and became nearly physically sick at the smell of someone smoking right at the door. Off to sleep now.