So, had a random  thought, this is not directed at anyone.  Also, no, I really do not focus on my disability, but when I say I am strong this is a look into my strength.

to look at or hear about me strength is not usually the thing that comes to mind.  Why?  Well, guys in general are physically strong and we grow up thinking about that as far as strength.  The thought I had came to me while I was out today.  Imagine, if you will, being in a wheelchair.  Looks, cars attempting to hit you in crosswalks (no, that is not an exaggeration, I've been hit or been run over at least a dozen times and had hundreds of near misses, including one today because the idgit was on their phone and not watching), people thinking that your in a wheelchair so they can steal from you or take advantage of you because they do not think you can do anything in retaliation.  That does not include the rude comments.

Now, I have a choice.  I can hide at home, become bitter and never associate with anyone.  But, instead I am going out when I can, I am putting myself out here, I chase down, in my wheelchair, those stupid fucks that nearly hit me or kick in their doors and I still keep myself from being bitter and am actually pretty social....ok, maybe I'm bitter towards the dumbass drivers that race through light because they are not watching or are trying to beat me, but who wouldn't be there :P. I do give thanks to those drivers that go out of their way to stop or to get back out of the way though.

So, I guess I am saying that my strength is strength of will, it takes a lot of will not to get discouraged and to not become bitter every day, at least to me.

Now, imagine how much strength of that does take and having that will used in a D/s relationship.  

So, there's some insight into my thinking, hehe.  

Just as ga quick afterthought, I do not think everyone stares and disrespects etc.  I actually have had and did have today extremely kind people that I met all day.  Went to Jack in the Box and a customer saw me and already had the door open before I got to it, his friends asked me if I needed help with my tray before I even ordered, the person who took my order helped out getting my food to the table without me asking and someone saw the way I eat and offered to help then cleared my tray when I went to thank him, all in the same store :). So, yeah, please understand, I know not everyone is out to get me hehe, that was one of the best experiences I have had :)

Making dinner, have wine for midnight and feeling kind of alone tonight.

Changed my ad, hopefully for the better.  Also starting a new job on the 4th :D.

So, I have come to the conclusion my profile needs changing, however, I am not sure what to change......this is definitely not my strong suit, any ideas?

Finished my BA in Psychology on September 24th!  On to a Masters degree.

My shoulders been dislocated for almost a week, could really use a massage right now....

So, I was asked not to long ago, if I do not have a job how do I support myself?  Fair question.

I currently live on SSI.  That is only for the moment, however, as finding work is a priority.  I have enlisted the help of a government agency to help me with that.  I am not one to say "oh, it's all my disabilities fault", however, my trouble with finding work is, in large part, due to that.  That is why I have gone back to school, the computer field is a bit harder to get into in my situation because while I can do things such as build a network cable or computer with my mouth (yes, seriously, I built the one I am using right now) it is not exactly a way businesses accept and tech support is extremely saturated where I live.

So, yeah, I do depend on SSI for now, however, I do intend on changing that ASAP :)