|
|
|  | |
|
|
|
|
|
Full view my profile please before sending me messages!
If you are married, already with someone, or trying to do something poly. I am not interested. I recently ended a "relationship" with a man who tried to keep me basically as a mistress while keeping his relationship with his "girlfriend". I do not share. I currently suffer from depression and severe emotionally issues because of this. Poly is 100% a hard limit for me.
I am a three time college graduate. I have a BA in Literary Studies, an AS in Accounting Technology and an AS in Administrative Assistant. I am a highly intelligent individual who works full time in the banking profession.
In my spare time I tend to be a bit of a loner. I like to read, play video games, craft, clean, organize (I'm a smidge on the OCD side). I also enjoy being outdoors when the weather is nice.
I love to serve and please a man. That means more to me than my own pleasure. I honestly believe I was born this way, though it took me a number of years to realize what exactly I wanted, and I did so on my own. No one turned me into what I am.
My outward attitude oddly enough conflicts with my desires. I tend to be very out going and speak my mind. When I don't like something I'll say so. I'm certainly not a doormat. However, a man with the right attitude can easy turn me to putty :)
I'll admit that I'm a rather spoiled girl and enjoy being so. One day I hope to be a loving housewife and mother, of course that will happen when I'm closer to 30. I really want to live my life and have fun before I do the family thing. Though I do want an actual relationship with someone.
I'm looking for someone who has an education, whether going to college, has a degree, or has been in the military. There are some exceptions I'm sure, but I want to find someone who is intellectually on the same level I am, if not smarter. I am not, however, looking for the Daddy Dom type. I already have a father and I don't have an Electra complex.
I am generally only a sub in the bedroom though I do like to do things like cook and clean. I am looking for a relationship that could eventually turn into a marriage. I love being a sub, but I also want the vanilla side of life as well, therefore I am not interested in a poly relationship at all. I'm quite selfish.
There are a number of hard limits I have outside of what CM lists, animals, children, scat, those sort of things are an official NO. I don't do punishment as I find that punishment is for children who do wrong, and I am not a child and won't take being treated like one.
As I have also said in one of my journals, I am very leery about relocating. You can get a feel for someone online, but I don't believe that I can truely get to know someone unless it is in person. If you are looking for someone to relocate very quickly than I am not for you. I don't rush into anything.
It also may sound extremely presumptuous of me, but there are a few places that I would not relocate to: California and New York are the only two I can think of right now. I am rather conservative/libertarian and I don't want to live in a state that is very Liberal.
I have 6 Ferrets and 2 cats. I love pets and am not averse to anyone with animals (except seriously exotic animals like tigers of course).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I find it rather interesting that there are a number of men in my area that are Doms but maybe one has ever messaged me through here over the years. Granted, I could message them; but lets face it, I want to see a guy actually make an effort to try and grab my attention, to start a conversation, to be interesting. In some ways I guess I am pretty shy; but also at this point I am so used to being ignored in this state, I just think why bother messaging someone who obviously doesn't know that I'm alive (as evident by the fact that I've been invisible until now).
It seems I can get plenty of attention from boring guys off facebook and craigslist. But I don't want to just find some boring boy who will give me some attention.
I guess I'm just feeling quite a bit emo today. |
|
|
|
|
First and foremost I am dealing with a lot of emotional issues at the moment. I suffer from clinical depression (I am currently trying to stay off my meds). The last guy I "dated" tried to keep me as a mistress while he continued his non sexual relationship with his ex. I have serious trust issues and 100% I do NOT share. If you want any sort of poly because I cannot handle being second. Sexually I am a submissive. But in order to be submissive I need to feel safe and comfortable in a relationship first and foremost. The best way to win me over is to try and befriend me first. I don't just roll over and submit because you have a dick, I am not that kind of woman
|
|
|
|
|
If anyone is actually interested, I am looking for someone local. I am not in a financial position to move, nor do I want to give up my current job. I really like it there and they need me. Hit me up. I have quite a bit of free time lately and am interested in meeting new people. |
|
|
|
|
I get really tired of people sending me one message telling me to add them to my msn/yahoo messenger. I like to exhange a several cm mails at the very least to get to know someone. I am sooooooooooooooooo tired of adding people and they chat with me for a day, and then never say another word. I don't know if they're expecting me to put in all the effort or what. Let me tell you something, you sending me 2 little messages does not endear you to me and make me dying to chat with you. You need to actually catch my interest for that. If you're not going to make the effort to message me then I am simply going to remove you from my list, period. |
|
|
|
|
I am back from my fishing trip. We only spent two days fishing and didn't get very much. The first day we tried for salmon for a bit, but my father's friends said that it was too early in the season for them. We switched to Halibut but could only seem to catch flounder. The third day we went on a hike. Lord, I am out of shape. Of course this wasn't a lesurely walk either. The forth day I did a little bit of shoping but that was it. I've had a touch of vertigo from that third day on. Hopefully it'll go away tomorrow. It's nothing bad, but enough to make me feel like I'm somewhat drunk without actually being drunk.
All in all it was a fun trip. |
|
|
|
|
I'm going on a fishing trip to Alaska from the 3rd of July to the 8th of July. It's gonna be fun! I love salmon! |
|
|
|
|
I'm offically a college graduate! |
|
|
|
|
Busy busy busy. I will be graduating here in just over a week with a nice B.A. in Literary studies. This will actually leave me with some free time to persue a relationship. Although at this point I'm not planning on rushing head-long into anything. |
|
|
|
|
Lately a lot of guys have been messaging me from half way across the nation or even in another country. Some of them even express an interest in coming to see me or relocating. I don't really trust meeting a person online to determine their true personality. Sure, you can learn a lot, but there are things you can only assess in person. I don't trust myself enough to have someone move here to meet me; I'm very picky about the type of guy I like. I mean, I met my last boyfriend/Dom online, he lives in the same town as me and it only took one misunderstanding that would have only taken place in person for me to realize that he wasn't the one for me. I wouldn't want to repeat this scenario with people moving halfway across the country to meet me.
For me, life is not based on finding a guy solely because he is a Dom, I still want a regular relationship with that. So, I tend to be very picky about things. |
|
|
|
|
I've been working on getting over my last Dom. I think part of it was helped by talking with some people, namely Karolus whom I've been talking to. My ex-boyfriend as it were removed me from his myspace friends list which basically means that he's not even interested in being friends with me. According to a male perspective this means things are over. I'm feeling much better now that I haven't seen him in while. I suppose that could be part of it. It's also helping me get out there and meet new people and just get out of my complacency. There might even be a possible relationship for me in the future. Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to just throw yourself out there. |
|
|
|
|
The difference between Self Esteem and Self Respect, an excerpt from Psychology Today
I'm adding this in here because I believe Self Respect is a much more important aspect in a person than Self Esteem. Liking yourself because someone says something positive about you is transitory. Liking who you are because you accept yourself, the good and the bad, is an admirable quality.
"The person with self-respect simply likes her- or himself. This self-respect is not contingent on success because there are always failures to contend with. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because there is always someone better. These are tactics usually employed to increase self-esteem. Self-respect, however, is a given. We simply like ourselves or we don't. With self-respect, we like ourselves because of who we are and not because of what we can or cannot do.
Consider an interesting test of self-respect. If someone compliments us, what is our reaction? If we are very pleased, it would suggest a certain amount of uncertainty about our skill. Imagine that somebody whose opinion we respect told us that we were great at spelling three-letter words, or that our pronunciation of vowels was wonderful. Chances are we would not be moved. We know we can do it in the first case, and we don't care in the second. Because we were not evaluating ourselves, the compliment was unimportant. The more instances in which we don't "take the compliment," the less vulnerable we become to evaluation and insult.
My recent research, with Judith White and Johnny Walsch at Harvard University, points to the advantages of self-respect. Compared to those with high self-esteem who are still caught in an evaluative framework, those with self-respect are less prone to blame, guilt, regret, lies, secrets and stress." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I find it both amusing and annoying that people immediately want me to show them my web cam to prove that I'm female. Like it's part of my job or something. I currently have a dom/boyfriend and I'm not going to just show myself on webcam to some random person. I would consider that rude.
If perhaps I was single and looking for someone than I would be more receptive to the idea, because then I wouldn't feel like I was doing something I shouldn't.
Of course this whole journal entry is probably a moot point since the rudest people that email me don't even bother to read my whole profile. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
