5/1/2007 3:07:11 PM

Well, I guess it's time to make a new entry. Last October, we got married. I've never been happier! Life has been moving along since then. Thanks to all who've supported us and wished us well. I hope for happiness for everyone else out there!

6/30/2006 5:24:02 PM

Well... things have changed... I find myself back with him. But he understands my wanting to have fun with others. It's interresting. The time we had apart made us realize what we like about eachother and what was missing in our relationship. I still want to have fun... he knows that. He'd like to see me have fun. We will have fun as a couple, now. We will find others out there to have fun with. In all essence, we belong only to eachother, but we have to be true to the fact that we have fun with others, too. He wants to be "swingers". It was a concept that I tried to explain to him before. He understands now. If we had been doing that, he probably wouldn't have done what he did. In many ways, I'm very sub, but to be that way, I have to trust who I'm with. If I can't trust him to be faithful with me, it doesn't work. We will see how things go. I love him with all my heart and soul, so it is hard to put myself out there with that possibility that things won't work. I've always been an optomist, so I guess I'll do whatever it takes to make him (and myself) happy. Just having him back in my life is making me quite happy. So, any out there who'd like to play, please let me know. I think I'll feel better about meeting ppl from line with someone there to watch my back, anyway. I was really scared to meet someone with no knowledge if they were some kind of "internet stalker" or something...lol. I know many of you who I've been corresponding with will be sad at this change in my "status", but I know more of you will understand what I was going through and be happy for  me. Thanks for all your sweet words that got me through an awful time, and helped me gain my confidence in myself back! That will never go away! I know what I deserve in life, now, and I won't settle for anything less anymore! Thanks guys! Don't forget about me, and I hope some of you will still want to "play" with me! We're looking for some straight up fun... not necessarily "dom" and "sub"! Also looking for some sub males and females... I'm definately a "top"... I can be a great "bottom" but the only thing I enjoy of that is watching someone get such pleasure out of my touch!

5/24/2006 9:47:57 PM

Life is getting better... amazingly enough. I'm picking up the pieces of a shattered life and making a new picture. It's a much more interresting picture than the one that was there before. More... dimentional. More real. I'm not scared of facing the world alone. I'm excited by it. So many possibilities... I just don't want anyone pushy to make me theirs, when I'm not yet a whole person.

5/1/2006 4:13:57 PM

Things just don't go the way you want. Sigh... Well, I'm having the hardest time finding someone who understands that I've done it, I just do it differently. I don't like starting out knowing someone by them acting Dom or Sub with me. Just be yourself. It's the situation that calles out that side of me. I'm not just going to be Dom because someone shoots me an email calling me Mistress or Sub just because someone calls me slave. If I'm around someone....there's a feeling... almost a scent that says "you're dominant, and I'm feeling submissive" or vica versa.  I'm just not into role playing when words are just typed things from a keyboard. I like to feel the meaning behind them. Experience the "moment" of submission or domination. And I enjoy the moment when it switches of mutual, unspoken, agreement.

4/28/2006 6:39:58 PM

How hard is it to move on sometimes. I was with the same man for so long, I lost myself. It's hard to get back into things. I learned so much about the things I like and don't like with him. Now I have to change my way of thinking to be able to put them into practice with someone else. I'm scared of rejection, and at the same time, I'm scared of getting into situations that I don't know if I'll like with someone else. I wouldn't give up all the experiences I had, just the pain of them ending. But with ends, come new beginnings. I'm trying to learn how to start again. Anyone out there understand this, or am I just sounding whiney?! Moving on hurts, but I'm hoping that I'll at least have new memories to make. Yeah, I guess I have baggage. PPL who don't are either lying or just plain cold. I will always TRY to leave my baggage at the door since I don't think it's fair for someone new to have to deal with the "old".