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| And you know it. But Unworthy of what? And in truth is it actually a measured value you lack or is it guidance? Guidance that holds you true and completes you, gives your life purpose and meaning. Gives you a reason to breath and a way to organize your world. Some would measure such ideas against the advertised stars of the world ... All independent, need no one actors of the world. Yet you know in your heart of hearts that is a lonely life, built of bars of anger, grief, and a general dislike for anything but the spotlight.
You are here because you have stepped far enough into the back room of your mind to find and realize you do not match this "Correct" type of life, that is what causes that measurable feeling of being Unworthy. Problem is just like everything else one is only able to be understood what they know by the measuring stick they have.
The hungers you have to serve to be or do Anything a Man desires of you is in my mind the result of a human that is truly free. Free because they put their desires above others judgments. Free because they have stepped far enough into the back rooms of their mind to know the only way they can be who they truly are, is to serve.
I have spent as much time if not more walking the back corridors finding the things I desire, attempting to solidify them into words and actions others can understand. In all the time I have been doing this, (18+yrs) I have settled on a single word. Obedience. True unfettered Obedience is what I seek.
Yes, life often determines much of this takes time even to do things such as collect reasons to believe each other. It also takes time to believe that the people you will share this life with think like you do. That all this is about is the smile you receive for the life you have offered and nothing else matters.
If you are squirming in your chair right now, that is your bodies way of saying Message me. Obey it!
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