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000519dc-eef4-1102-420e-1bf1babcaf50_60
Just a rant
I believe....
Men should act like men. None of this sissy or submissive bulkshit. Men were not wired that way and it goes against nature.
That women should act like women. Dommes, dominatrix, mistress. No! A woman's place is by her man. Preferably at his feet.
The saying "Behind every good man is a good woman". I believe that. For a man to reach his fullest potential he needs the support of a woman. A woman who takes care of him so he can focus.
The feminist movement was the ruination of this nation. For women to claim independence from a a make dominant culture is the man's fault. He forgot his purpose to love and honor his relationship and his woman. Women discovered she cannot count on her man's word and loyalty. They were forced to be independent because men failed. We, men, have become weak, cowardly.
We prefer to hide our desires than to speak them openly. We cheat, we lie, we hold resentments for our decisions because we are too afraid of confrontation to stand our ground. Women have lost respect for us.
To make matters worse men actively seak to be dominated. I will never understand that.
I know all of what I've said is not very tolerant of me, but I don't care. I've spent my life trying to answer the question of what a real man is and I've come closer to answering that question.
A real man honors his commitments. Bye honors and cherishes the women or women in his life. He's not afraid to say no. He'll Stan up and fight for what is his. He'll make decisions based on what is good for the family and not give in to whimsical notions. He's not afraid of being the minority vote when it's for the greater good. He wants to give his family everything they need but not everything they want. He'll put himself in between his family and any danger. A real man does not raise his hand in anger, but will punish when necessary. This is a man. Someone who ignores the pain and shoots for the in zone. Who, at all cost, puts his family first. A real man is not afraid to let those around him grow and flourish. Who keeps his ego in check. Who isn't afraid to admit when he's wrong or to fail. A real man learns from these mistakes and failures and continues on. Still providing and guiding. Who laughs with his kids and makes passionate love to his wife.
Rant over. |
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Contrary to what you may think or have read this lifestyle is not easy.
As a Dom you must have the discipline to always maintain discipline.
You must appear to be in control even when on the inside you're tearing your hair out.
You need to refrain from getting sucked into "topping from the bottom" troationshios. Their expectations does NOT have to be your actions.
Do not second guess yourself. You get sucked into that and your self-confidence goes right down the shitter.
You are not perfect. You will make mistakes. That's just a given. It's how you handle those mistakes that shows the men from the boys.
Be a Dom! Don't be a pussy! 'Nuf said!
Don't be a couch master. This lifestyle required work. So get off your ass and do your part! She'll never follow you if you don't go anywhere!
Take the bitch by the nipples (kinda like bull by the horns). Nut up or shut up.
This isn't about sex! Well it is, but not. You'll understand once you get off the damn couch!
Remember to properly train her, beat her, fuck her, use her.. You must first love her, care for her, respect her, honor her. |
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"Give a man a mask, and he will show you his true face." - Oscar Wilde |
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I love this lifestyle. And for me it truly is a lifestyle. I don't want to do the part time Dom shit or weekend sessions. I like the 24/7 im the boss type of relation.
I read about Taken In Hand a few years back and loved loved loved the dynamics. Domestic Discipline?! Hell yes!! Love it.
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Being a "natural dominant" is not about always doing or saying the right thing.
We are human, we will not always get it right.
if we make decisions based on our own moral code we should not regret that decision. It may not have been the correct decision, but if we are humble enough to learn from it then that is true dominance.
Dominance is not about ego, it's about humility. |
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In my opinion there's only two reasons one wishes to control another. Suppress or success.
In my observations of abusive controlling households its motivated by fear and insecurities. Usually the abuser has life issues that run deep. Abandonment, sexual abuse, physical or mental abuse. All of these have the potential to create a controlling, overbearing man. Add a natural submissive to that and you have your classic abusive household.
The controllers fear strength so they try and beat it out of them. They fear abandonment so through force remove all choice and instill insecurities in the sub.
I believe society stereotypes the Bdsm lifestyle into this category.
Then there's the other side of the coin. A healthy, happy relationship where control is an opportunity for growth. Discipline is used to guide and teach. Boundaries are defined then stretched and in some cases broken.
This is the essence of a D/s relationship. Each partner plays off the other. Strength is shared. Sumission is given freely and honored. Trust and honesty are not only expected by paramount to this lifestyle.
So for those new to this don't get sucked in by the suppressors. Look for the succeeders. The leaders. |
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The "hint of chocolate" has now gone to milk chocolate on its way to dark chocolate. |
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I like being in control. That's just my nature.
I'm not just talking about in the bedroom, but of all aspects.
Picking out clothes to developing the weekly menu for dinners and lunches to chores.
I never knew I was such a control freak during my marriage. Honestly, I felt emasculated. Definitely less than in control. Before that I wasn't that experienced with women. My first taste of control was bedroom stuff as a young man. Obviously I liked it and wanted more, but circumstances didn't cooperate.
There towards the end of my marriage I met a submissive on a lifestyle site and we began to explore. Unfortunately for the both of us I was too inexperienced and emotionally damaged to have a healthy relationship.
I was reacquainted with a high school sweetheart via FB and we immediately clicked. I mean the connection was so profound that it turned my world upside down.
I thought I was destined, once again, for a vanilla relationship. Resigned to my fate I vowed to make the most of it.
Recent developments have since changed all that. I see a hint of chocolate in the vanilla. I will keep vigorously stirring the mix until it is a nice abundance of swirls and flavors.
It has made me realize what submissive actually is and how that dynamic can play out in my life.
The demon I reluctantly locked up may be able to come out and play after all. :)
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This is just a self reflection and more for me personally. If you find any value in this then you probably have been on a similar journey as me and have come to similar conclusions.
I find it interesting how people behave online. So many people use the anonymity of the internet to create this facade of ourselves. We believe we mask our insecurities, fears, baggage, anger, loneliness, sadness, and unhappiness through our screen name and persona.
My experience has been that all I've done is amplify all these traits. I never was truly honest with myself so therefore how could I possibly be honest with anyone else?
I've met some fantastic people on this site and others and have ruined those relationships, before they even got started, by lying right out of the gate. Then I wondered what happened and started blaming my misfortunes and negative experiences on others.
About 14 months ago I had a near death experience that had a profound impact on me. I realized at that point I needed to make some changes.
So I asked my wife, yes I was married and lying about it - big surprise huh?, for a divorce. I began a spiritual journey that involved a lot of self-reflection and total honesty with myself. I mean how could I be completely honest with anyone else without first being honest with myself?
I then began looking at my attraction to this lifestyle and my motivations. I had this pre-conceived notion as to what a dominant person should be. Most of that was defined by stories that I read here from other peoples definitions and experiences. I didn't fit the mold on most of the unrealistic expectations people were looking for. I still don't.
So then I had to ask mysel - am I a dominant? My answer to myself now is... I choose to be. I choose to accept the responsibility of that role and everything it involves. Why? Because it fits my personality more than being a submissive. Not because I'm more confident, more controlling, wiser, superior, etc. on the contrary, I'm a very nurturing, caring, compassionate, loving, understanding, kind person.
I get off on helping others achieve their dreams, their potential. I love watching the growth and contentment in a happy sub/slave. I enjoy awakening the true desires of a sub/slave in a non-judgemental, positive manner.
I'll be the first to admit my kinks are broad, my desired dark and deep. I no longer apologize for who I am because I now accept me, like me, and yes, even love me.
I do not need a slave to define me. I do not want a slave who needs me to define her. I wish for a slave who will help me in getting to know myself better and who wishes to know herself better. One who will be as patient with me as I try and be with her. One who I may help overcome her fears and inhibitions as she helps me overcome mine.
A slave/sub who is non-judgemental and is realistic enough to know and accept that I will make mistakes and loves me unconditionally anyway as I will love her.
These are things I know about myself today. These are the realizations I've come to. I'm not perfect, I'm not always confident, I don't always have the answer. However, I am patient, I am devoted, I believe in personal and spiritual growth. I believe in learning together, laughing together, loving together, and living life to the fullest together. |
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Causing you pain thrills me...
Hurting you excites me...
Making you cry satisfies me...
Hearing you scream completes me... |
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