How is serving someone orally "fully serving" them, if, in fact, orally is not a manner in which they wish to be served? If you meet someone whom you want to serve, but, then, decline to serve them because they will not require you to serve them orally, then the oral service is really for your benefit, not theirs. So, then, you are not a slave - just a person who likes licking other people's genitals, so much, you are willing to give them money and wash their dishes for the chance. Which means, you, or they, or both, are prostitutes, pretending to be into bdsm for the sex and money of it all. Can anyone spell vanilla? I thought you could.

Elvis has left the building. And, I, lip curling in imitation, have followed.

Quite some time ago, there was a man who wanted to own me. I belonged to someone else, at that time, though, and, besides, he kept telling me he was with this woman and that woman, and, at the time, I was intended to be the sort of slave who does marry, and, basically, acts as a wife, of the old-fashioned variety. This person who owned me, I was, also, engaged to. The man who wanted to own me, who kept pursuing me, was already married, and, had other slaves he was considering.

Nevertheless, he, instead of taking my loyalty to the man I was engaged to, as an answer, pursued me. Instead of taking my beliefs that consorting with married men is wrong as an answer, he pursued me. He did, however, decide to make a concession to my beliefs, in proving to me that I would be his only slave girl, and, so, win me for himself.

He told me, weeks before, that he had  a woman coming in from Australia. So, one day, he tells me he went to the airport, and, to prove to me his power, told her to turn around and go right back where she came from.

He told me how she'd begged and pleaded with him, reminding him how she had quit her job, sold her home, cut ties with her family, all for him. He told me how beautiful and willing she was, and, how he did this all to prove to me that he had the power to take or give as he pleased, to control or destroy at his whim, and ... oh.. a bunch of other nonsense.

And, I thought "You thoughtless prick bastard."

That was his power - the power to make me think he was a thoughtless prick bastard, to see his weakness and disloyalty: that he'd give his word to a slave and then take it back, solely to impress another slave, who didn't even want him. It did make quite an impression, and, it was one more giant notch cut out of my ability to serve men.

 Why do I tell you this? Well, for one, you should understand me, and, with that understanding, respect who I am as a person So, now, you know a little more about why it is I am to be served, and, not to serve, except, perhaps, on special occasions. 

There has to be trust, and, while it is possible, after I have known a man for a great deal of time, that I could come to trust him, it would never happen, by choice, with him trying to lead me from the start. I could give to him, after he has proven himself.  There has been too much wrong done for it to go any other way. That is not the only reason, and, I owned slaves long before he did that to the poor woman, but, it is part of the whole reason. I used to be much more switch, because, to me, what is important is the feeling of exchange, the construct of the relationship, and, the promotion of good in each other's lives. Only, now, it is more important that I lead, where I used to do both, more. 

It is, also, important, because, some of you slave potentials come to me from wherever you sit, far far away, typing in hope, and, I say to you "Become local, and, then we shall see." or some variation thereof.  So, you need to know that, when I say it, I do understand that there are terrible risks involved, and , it would upset your life, and, that some people like to upset people's lives just to prove that they can.

I don't want you to sell your home, quit your job, and, cut all ties with your family, taking a risk that you might end up being told that you are not wanted, ending up on the street. This is why I tell you that whatever you have before you become my slave remains yours. If you have a home, sell it or rent it and keep the money just in case; or, let trusted family or friends live in it and pay the taxes for you. Transfer your work, or, find new work before you come, if possible  Tell your family and friends that you are moving to Tucson, and, will let them know how to contact you as soon as you find a place to live. And, be aware that if, for some reason, you did not work out for me, or, you were not happy being owned by me, we would cease this Mistress/slave business, and you would pay rent to cover costs until you could move back home, find an apartment, find another Mistress, or, whatever it is we decided was best for a cordial ending.
I want to own a slave, not destroy a life. 

    Question: 

What an interesting concept of a slave.

    ANSWER:

Question: 

when can i start

Answer: 

When you find someone who wants what your profile offers.

Question:

This is a little surprising, as, having read a little of your profile and journal entry, it seemed to me that we would be highly incompatible. I don't do those sort of things - peeing into the mouths of slaves; nor, when I had served as a slave, did I ever submit to it.  If that is the sort of thing you hope for, there is no point in coming to me.

         Question: 

     Question: 

Question:

I read something by a newbie dom, or so he called himself - or was it domme and she called herself? No matter. The point is, that I read something that, in answering, reminded me of one of the most important aspects of bdsm, that is, sadly, often the most overlooked.

See, they mentioned not being comfortable, until ... and, I mentioned how they should not be trying ... and, it set ablaze in me an old and important longing, to simply be myself, to have the comfort of not having to rein in my personality so as not to cause public scandals, frighten courtesy clerks, or, otherwise cause undue anxiety amongst the sheep. 

The sheep, in this case, not being mentioned in a religious context, I should hasten to add.  It's just that one does not actually get work, stay out of jail, etc. by trodding throughout the earth, taking what pleases you as your due, and, generally making lesser-willed mortals quake with fear of the unknown. And, it is unknown to them - they've never been it, never felt it, and, cannot comprehend it.

Slaves, either can comprehend it, or, at the very least, are drawn to the fear. Usually the former, the best of them, because, they, too, could be out causing consternation among the populace, by re-ordering their cabinets, kissing their feet, throwing themselves across mud puddles in glee so that no one else gets their tootsies wet ... 

I spend the majority of my life being less than myself, for the benefit of others, and, of course, due to the financial and legal ramifications of being myself. This society is simply not made for people who want to use your back as an ottoman, or, to whip the store clerk for their snotty attitude, or ... 

Nor, is it made for the store clerk, that wishes someone would call them on that snottiness, and, give them a painful reminder to change their ways, out of a sense of affection as well as a general desire for social decorum.

Sad, isn't it?

I want a slave, who can be himself by serving, so  I can be myself by being served and giving him focus and structure. It  is not "kink" except in the sense that it is outside of what people who have forgotten what it is to be themselves find "weird". They are too bound up in the rules of society to understand that the rules are made for Man, and, not Man for the rules. 

You know what's really frustrating? When you write one thing, and, it is translated, by three people, to mean three different things, some of which are diametrically opposed, in meaning, to each other - and, they run with those assumptions and reject you based on them. When people don't stop to consider meanings or to ask questions.

Some guy writes and tells me people could die living in a shed in Tucson. He didn't stop to ask what sort of shed it was, or ,what i meant by "outfitting it", or, if there would be air conditioning, or, how much time a slave would be in the shed out in the hot sun. Nope! Just took his own assumptions about what sort of person I am, and, ran with them.

Some guy I have talked to, many times, just told me we would not be suited, because, he is not interested in pain, not a masochist, not into cruelty, that sort of thing. Nothing that I wrote was about being cruel or wanting a masochist, though! 

And, yet, people who are masochists write and tell me I just want someone to do things for me, I wouldn't know how to really own someone, it is all just fantasy to me, pain and cruelty and sex have to be involved and, if I had ever lived it ... 

Yeah, baby, I've lived it. And, yeah, baby, I know, sometimes, pain is likely to be involved. However, I also know that relying n sex, pain, and, abuse to control someone -especially someone who wants to be controlled - is like relying on curse words to be funny. Only those who don't really have the timing or skill believe it's necessary. The rest of us know that one can sit quietly sipping a beverage and tear someone's world apart, should it become necessary, with a glance.

I don't have to rely on amateurish, immature, b.s. to get my way, and, I  don't have to demand to get my way. I just have to find the person who wants to serve, instead of b being a boring, oversexed little brat, and, tell them what my way is. The rest, the discipline, the protocol, all that, is about training to specific tasks, simple rules to live by to make us both more comfortable, and/or entertainment.

Read what's there, for goodness sake; and, ask questions! It's your life you're considering. Show it some respect.

Well, and, for the third time, in less than a week, the house has been broken into, while everyone had to be gone. Welcome to Tucson!

Spiced with garlic powder,crushed tarragon, an eensie beensie bit of basil, kosher salt, black pepper, the meat was sauteed, before the roma tomatoes, green and red bell peppers, and, white onion were chopped or diced and tossed in; the white mushrooms tumbled, playfully, in, to simmer and soak, while the thin pasta noodles made their journey from dried yellow corpses to quasi-tender spaghetti noodles. Lastly, the red sauce splashed in, followed by a more liberal dose of the earlier used spices, and, some cumin. It waited in its completeness, tasty and hot, to be consumed

lol

Is there some, new "absence from being interesting" holiday on? Or, a boycott on being entertaining? Where is everyone?

Important facts/questions that need answers from slave potentials:

1. How is your health?
2.  If you have a mental, emotional, or physical condition, disease or dect your service, and, what must be done for your care?
3. What is your income and how is it achieved?
4. Are you tolerant of other people's religious beliefs, or, indeed, of religion at all? As in respectful, being able to engage in conversation or research, whether it is your belief or not?
5. What is your experience with domestic skills (cooking, gardening, light housework, house maintenance and repair, carpentry)?
6. What are your talents and skills?
7. Tell me, in your own words, what you believe I am seeking in a slave, and, what experience you have in living this sort of lifestyle.
8. What questions do you have, or what do you need to know, to believe I am real, and, capable of performing as a Mistress?

The basic plans and protocols for the slave are as follows:

1. I don't do things in half measures .A slave who meets with me and signs a simple contract regarding service is eligible for consideration. 
2. A slave is "under consideration" or "being considered" at the point where he is actually here, serving, whether it starts with the building of the shed, or the buying of a prefab shed.  He remains under consideration until the point where he, believably, begs me to keep him and writes, signs, and, has notarized, a formal statement of intent, that has been generated by his own free will and approved by me. If I do not approve, he remains under consideration or, if it seems appropriate, he is released back to his former life or to another Mistress or Master.
3. I will not have an absolute set schedule and list of protocols for every situation for the slave, at the start. Most protocols and schedules are dependent on the task at hand, OR, revolve around basic politeness and deference to rank/position. Some that will always be in place are that the slave will act with discretion, never expect (but, sometimes be required or allowed) to eat meals with me, never use my bathroom, and, always prepare the food that is important to my health and pleasurable to my taste buds, regardless of his own ideas. He will always walk behind me in public, but, always proceed ahead to open doors for me. 
4. The slave will, over time, learn the basics of protocol for situations and tasks; and, a basic schedule for housework, preparing meals, chauffeuring (if he drives), grocery shopping, checking mail, putting the garbage out, etc. He will take notes and build a plan around these things, and, should another slave become a part of my household, whether as an enhancement to service or as a replacement for the slave, the slave already having learned schedules and protocols, will teach what he knows to the new slave.
5. The slave will live in the shed, which will remind him that he is a tool to be used for the building and growing of needful things, and, it will be used for him as a place of learning, punishment, discipline, comfort, or reflection, as needed. His environment will be altered through the use or removal of elements, such as cot, blankets, air conditioning, heating, the freedom to open the door himself, or, etc.
6. Corporal punishment, speech restriction, corner time/time out, periods of objectification, periods of enforced use , restricted use or disuse of words or physical actions or gestures, will all be part of discipline and possibly punishment.
7. Financial service will occur, but, it will not be by power of attorney, me blackmailing you, or by any other method than that the slave willingly prove to me his assets, debits, needs, and, then, equally willingly, begs me to receive the rest as a gift from his hand. It must always be a willing act of sacrifice to his Mistress, or, there is no point in continuing.

There is more to it, than that, obviously; but, that is enough t tell you that I do have thoughts in my head as to how life will go, and, I am not just saying I am the Mistress of my household.

I wonder, is there no longer any such thing as a  slave who finds pride in service well done, joy in serving? Who has a positive viewpoint, and, wishes to do good in the world? Or, is it all negative thinking, tearing down, and abuse now? 

How boring, if true.

Here's something for you to read in your spare time:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_(economics)

The key words being " where the benefits of the service are triggered by and rendered to the authorized service consumer".

Which means what?

It means, if you want to serve me (the authorized service consumer), the benefits of the service are triggered by me (in other words the actions you take must be about my needs, my desires, or it is not service) and rendered to me (therefore, you telling me that you will "let " me do this or that to you, or, that you must have this or that is not service).

Slavery is not a kinky little sex-filled vacation from the mundane. It is not the means to fulfill the desires of a ravening slut. It is, however, to fulfill the desires of someone who gets excited in their spirit, at the prospect of completing tasks, being of use, having someone provide structure and purpose to their lives.

Wanting a strap-on used on you, then having it used on you, is serving you, not the person who is using it. Therefore, it is a grand reward; but, rewards are not chosen by slaves, nor expected by them. That goes for anything else that brings you pleasure, including the acts of service.

The worst thing for a slave is not to find out that a woman is not going to be sitting on their face or servicing their cock, today; it is to know that they failed in their duty or that they are no longer allowed to serve.

Once again, I spent time on a "slave", who said he wanted to serve me, as I see fit. Then, he tried to guide that service to what he could do, based on what he enjoyed doing that would not benefit me, and, which would keep him from losing one iota of luxury, when he already lives better than I do. In other words, his "service" was to get what he wanted from a relationship, expecting me to waste all my time fawning over him and structuring his life, without considering actually doing anything for me.

I have outlined the basics of what I want in a slave. Don't contact me, if you don't want to be that slave.

If you believe a woman cannot control you, without using sex as a weapon, then, you do not believe in female supremacy, and, you do not have a slave mentality. You're just a horn dog, who wants a woman telling him how much she needs him.

To my mind, the purpose of a slave is, in fact, purpose. I'm not talking about a "slave", who grovels in the bedroom, or, only in private, for kinky fun, but, an actual slave.

Therefore, training of slaves is to task, for the purpose of them better serving at that task.

"Slaves" come to me and want to be "trained" to take a dildo up their keister. Really? You need to be trained for that? Why? It's easy. You get a dildo, and, shove, and, then it's done. Do it yourself.

They come to me, wanting to be "trained" to drink urine. Really? You know how to drink water, don't you? Then, you know how to drink urine.

Now, let me ask you this: what is the purpose? How will it make you more successful in the real world? How will it enhance your intellect? How will it get the dishes washed faster, or the beds made?

I want a slave that wants to be useful, used for tasks, purposeful, who wants their slavery to make them more disciplined, better educated, more successful at their work. In other words, someone who needs guidance and guidelines, protocols, and, such as that; not just someone seeking ritualized abuse.

I'm back. 

I left, just in case you didn't notice. lol

A slave boy followed me, and, since he followed me as a potential slave, not just someone being friendly, I decided to come back, as this is the best place for us to interact as slave and Mistress. 

Or, as I just told the aforementioned slave-type being:

"If you want to be considered,make yourself local. What I ask for is not that much, for slaves, and, the question is not can you do it, it is will I allow you to continue doing it. For that question to be answered, you have to start. There is no other way to be a slave, than to simply submit yourself into slavery and go.

If you don't like the scenario I outlined, don't do it. If you do, get off your ass and start acting like you are owned. End of story."

Because, newsflash, until someone knows your qualities, you are all interchangeable. So are the doms, Mistresses, Masters, etc. until their qualities are known. It's not rocket science. You pick a likely candidate, that seems to have enough of what you want, and, you jump in with both feet, see if you work out, and, if not, then, you both move on to someone better.

If it does work out, then, affection might develop, respect for a skill, needing this person because ... until then, I just need someone who can fill the role, and, so do you.

I mean, this is not about love, fitting in with each other's families, impressing each other's bosses, making babies together. It's about you living in a storage shed, living as as slave, because, we both like it that way. Don't make it harder than that.

  That's right, I am a woman, and, I change my mind with the swiftness of a sex that sees many possibilities  before it, and, tries them out to see which one fits;or, something like that.

  I will have the whole shebang, or, no shebang at all. However, more than one scenario could be considered as being what the whole shebang is constituted of.

  I got distracted, by a slight interest in a slave, and, a slight desire to be reasonable. I'm over both. So, let me reiterate this point, which cannot be made to fine: 

  If you are not local, and you want to be owned by me, make yourself local. And, yes, I know that would be almost wildly insane to do, but, take a frigging step in the right direction. Make yourself local enough that we can meet. Make yourself local enough that if we met, and, if we agreed to you serving me, you wouldn't be asking for several months  of non-service to be able to move. Plan on serving me long distance while you move, or, plan on you being moved before you contact me. Plan on something that embodies the concept that I am the one you want to serve, and, you want to please me while doing so. What can you do, that will prove that you want to serve, are able to serve, and are capable of serving me? 

Do it!

As for insanity, if a slave boy showed up in Tucson, with proper ID, a job, and, a desire to submit to my will (being able to explain what he thinks my will is)I'd take him in, and, be glad to have a slave that showed some initiative. 
Don't sit on your hands, wondering if you could be a slave, wondering how you can do it all safely and get everything just the way you want Make a frigging move!

  xx 

Someone(s) have brought to my attention that, from their viewpoint, it would seem what I am seeking is all about me, me, me and nothing for the person serving. Now, as I told them, I really don't care what their opinion is, on this subject, since, the man who wants to serve in such a position would see it very differently, and, he is the one, after all, that I care to meet.

However, on the slim hope that this will save me time from reading more such missives, let me point out a few facts to you.

1) When someone keeps another person in their storage shed, in a captive state, even with a signed contract, that person is taking an extraordinary legal risk, should the other person have a change of heart, or, if the neighbors get weirded out and complain.

2)Let's examine a simple chore: cooking dinner. Assuming that the slave even knows how to cook, and, does not have to be taught this skill, assuming that the slave knows how to spice the food correctly for the needs and desires of the one they are cooking for (an unlikely but possible scenario), a slave's work time for the act of cooking dinner is probably about 30 minutes. That's some basic prep work, putting it in the oven, if necessary, serving it, clearing the table. However, their Master has to first find the slave, create the rules of the house, decide by what methods and means the dinners should be prepared, either prepare menus and grocery lists and instructions for the slave or teach the slave how to do these things in the proper way (but, usually both), then, monitor the slave's progress in learning, devise appropriate punishments or disciplines to encourage growth in learning how to perform tasks to certain standards (having first determined what the standards even are), administer advice/admonishment/discipline/punishment, as needed, and, continue in this constant state of being on top of things until the slave learns enough that, maybe ,just maybe, their owner can relax while they are cooking dinner, trust them to get it right, and, only has to perform the same tasks for every other chore, every other ordered activity, that the slave performs during their first few weeks, to few months, of service. And, then, when something new is added, it begins again. So, the slave takes 1/2 hour to do this chore, to do that chore, but, for every 1/2 hour the slave spends, the Master spends at least twice that long, initially. 

3) I would be allowing a stranger into my home, opening myself and my family to vulnerability.

4) The slave wants to be disciplined. I am disciplining him. Who is getting, who is receiving, then? I say, it is both, because, I like to discipline people.

Lest you forget, those of you I have dealt with before, do kindly remember that I have served as a slave, for more than one Master, in my time. I have also served as the Alpha slave, I have even owned slaves while being a slave, and, I have owned slaves without being a slave. I've been a wife, a mother, and, I've been a child.

I can tell you, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that being a mother is  far harder than being a child, and so is being an owner of a slave far harder than being a slave - unless, of course, you are an owner who is an absolute scum bucket, who feels no weight of responsibility to do it well, upon their shoulders. That, however, is not me. 

I have told you, this will involve discipline(which is for the slave), punishment (to help the slave learn), provision of what is needful (which means monitoring of the slave's health and mental welfare). So, if you think it is all about me getting, and, giving nothing in return, then, you are too short-sighted, too selfish, to be my slave in the first place.

Thank you, to all the idiots who pointed out to me that I am fat. If you hadn't told me, I never would have noticed. 

The point of having a slave is to better your life. The point of it being consensual, is so that it is legal, moral, and, also, something that betters their life.

I've been talking to a lively, zaftig Canadian male, who is, alas, too far away; but, the gist of the conversation has been that he needs more restrictions to his life, more boundaries and consequences, to help him lose weight, whereas I need less stress and someone who has the time and inclination to cook the foods that are better for me, which I do not have the time for. Therefore, any overweight slave types, who like to cook, please be aware that this could be a win-win situation, that is mutually beneficial, whether for a sustained long term, or, by visits/vacation.

To those who find my weight offensive to the point of feeling the need to be rude, I would suggest you go tell it to someone who cares. If your words had the actions upon my life that you desire, to hurt and stress out a fellow human being, it would only adversely affect my health to the point of causing weight gain, which, if you hate it as much as you claim, you would be trying to prevent, not encourage.

Yes, I am overweight. However, unlike you, I am not a scourge on humanity, fit for nothing but spouting bitter platitudes. What I am, that you do not like, only affects me. What you are, that I do not like, affects everyone who comes into contact with your personality disorder(s).

Have a lovely day.