A friend and I were talking about early kink experiences when she revealed that her ex-husband had been trying to get her into Gor. I told her flat out that if she'd been into the Gorean lifestyle, I'd have had a hard time taking her seriously. Fuck yes, I'm anti-Gor, but it's probably not in the way that you think. Just thinking about it makes me start to giggle uncontrollably. They built an entire lifestyle around a mediocre work of fiction. It's even more hilarious when you see the parallels between modern religion and Gor. I guess that for some people, even if they don't belong to one of the main organised religions, they need someone else to think for them and tell them how to live their lives and/or have sex.

There's a CM legend that states that if you utter the words "True dom" three times, one will appear and throw a trantrum. Let's see.

"True dom"

"True dom"

"True dom"

And now.... I wait....

I'm in need of some entertainment. I think I shall remove the bulk filters temporarily. I want to see what charming souls haunt the dustier parts of CM.

Don't send me chat requests, I will decline them.

I should probably make it clear that if you don't have a profile or you're older than 35, your messages go to my bulk folder. I just couldn't deal with all the creepy older dudes blowing up my inbox so I can be their little or their tiny temptress. No, son. I don't have time for that, so don't bother.

Also, calling me adorable is not a good way to get in my good graces. It's actually a good way to get on my bad side. Human decency is the only thing that prevents me from beating the shit out of people who call me adorable.

Insomnia, my old friend. It's nice to see you again.

I am such a dork.

In other news, I really like this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45EiFh8H8uw

Collarme folks, a few things:

- Can someone explain the "time-wasters" peeve to me? I've never really seen it as wasting time. You see someone's profile, you message them a few times, and at some point you realise that they're not what you're looking for, so you cut things short and leave. Because things didn't end in someone getting collared, that means the person is a time-waster? That's utter bullshit.

- What is up with these doms/dommes wanting you to include the most ridiculous lines in your message "to show that you're serious/ that you read their profile." Why not ask a question instead? No matter how interesting your profile is, there is no way in hell I'm going to include anything along the lines of "I submit" or other nonsense in my message just so you will pay attention to me. I'll just not contact you at all and imagine you tonguing my ass.

-  To the doms/dommes who sit around waiting for their subs to come to them à la "The Spider and the Fly": how's that working for you? Do the subs, tantalized by how "mysterious" you are, flock to you? I'll be honest, a dominant who isn't a go-getter just has no appeal to me. I like ambition and drive. I'd respect dominants who goes after what they want more than I would dominants who just sits around waiting for things to come to them. You don't need to be loud and brash to be ambitious and assertive, either. I've met some quiet yet assertive dominants who were more interesting than louder "BOW AT MY FEET, SLAVE!" dominants.

Collarme folks, I'm going to level with you.

You may think I'm an uppity bitch because I refuse to give in to your yahoo/msn/skype requests. 

That's not the case. I'm just really lazy (or pragmatic, depending on how you spin it). This is especially true when it comes to internet behaviours: most of you motherfuckers are thirsty as fuck, so when I don't make myself immediately available I know that I'm getting rid of probably 90% of you. 

Keep that in mind if you're one of the folks who got their underwear firmly lodged in their asscrack: you're mad because you're thirsty and I didn't give you what you wanted because I am not in the habit of pandering to entitled assholes.

That is all.

Thank you for your attention.

I'm looking for clever folk to talk about clever things with. You know, like the latest trends in fashion, or the freshest celebrity gossip, or how marvellous your dick or vagina is. If you think you're that kind of clever, send me a message. 

I'm kidding about the fashion/gossip/body parts thing. I'm serious about the clever conversations, though. 

I live on a tiny rock, in the middle of the ocean. RT isn't something that's a viable option for me. In the future, maybe, but right now, no. So, what I want is friends and people to talk to.

I mean, come on, not everyone here can be utter idiots incapable of elevated thought.

Instead of whipping your dick out or flashing me your tits, talk to me about books. About philosophy. About that crazy idea you had at three in the morning and proceeded to spend hours thinking about and fine-tuning.

Do you know who Georges Bataille is? I didn't until someone from here mentioned one of his stories to me, and you know what, I'm grateful for the guidance, because it turned out to be one of the best pieces of erotic fiction that I'd read in a while. I'm not saying that our conversation has to be boring. Whether or not our conversations are boring is partly up to you (and partly up to me). 

I've noticed that people mention NSA hookups often. I offer you NSA conversations: we started talking and you lost interest halfway? That's cool. Walk away. You want to talk more? That's cool too, I like exchanging thoughts and ideas. Kinky people have some of the best, coolest ideas out there, why not share them?

"More women out there need to embrace the Inner slut wheather you are Domme, switch, sub or slave just embrace the slut that you know you are

 Why is life so hard all i want to find is a women that is all about pleasing me is that too much to ask. "

 El. Oh. El.

Do you really want to know the answer?

Some of these Doms, I tell you, they're a riot. R I O T.

I know that rap gets ....well... it gets a bad rap. I'm not a fan of it myself, but it has its interesting points. It'd be fun to discuss meta-reference in rap sometime.

I, too, get the warm and fuzzies sometimes.

When that happens, I like to take acetaminophen and stay hydrated.

Sometimes dominants take it upon themselves to let me know that I've stepped out of line. My apparently brash profile just rubs them the wrong way. I can't blame them. If I was looking for young, pliable ninnies to manipulate and control, if I came across a sweet young thing who was actually more acerbic than sweet and who clearly wouldn't want to deal with my rubbish, I'd take a moment to let her have a piece of my mind. After all, I am dominant. All other beings must cower before me. My few stern words will definitely set this sweet young thing on the path to submission and true enlightenment. Simply moving on to the next profile is absolutely out of the question.

*whistles*

I can't really whistle. I try, though. 

I've been away because there was a death in my family.

I'm not about to apologize for not replying to messages. Someone close to me died.

I'll reply to your messages eventually.

People on here who claim that they've been dominant "Since I was a little kid....[insert endearing story about the time they tied up some cute little thing/bossed all the boys around]"

 Bitch please. You weren't dominant as a kid, you were an asshole and a bully. Get over yourself. 

"True Dom/Domme" The moment I see that, I get turned off.

If you have to include it in your profile, I assume that you have an agenda and that you are not to be trusted.

Prithee, what would be considered a "false Dom/ Domme"?

So many dominants here, yet I can't see myself submitting to any of them. 

I suppose it's because I don't feel impressed by their intelligence.

After all, you can't submit to someone who you know is less intelligent than yourself~

Let's make it into a little rhyme: If you can't wow me with your wit, don't expect me to submit.

Fun fact: Razor blades can cut through one's fingernails and it hurts about as much as a paper cut or having one's finger cut off.

"Brace yourselves, the rainy season is coming"

We have only two kinds of weather here: rainy and sunny.

Ah! The joys of living in the tropics.

"Who is the third who always walks beside you?"

If you know where this is from, you'll have piqued my interest and gained a bit of my respect.

"Dolphins never do things accidentally. They always do things on porpoise."

Ahhhhh. I slay me.

I'm a linguistics student. I know the IPA. It'd be funny to have a sub use a safeword in IPA. I'd use as many diacritics as possible too. 

Imagine trying to remember whether ç is voiced or voiceless. Is r a trill, a tap or a flap?

Ah. So absolutely wicked.

You know how sometimes you go into a store, you're not looking for anything in particular, you're just browsing, but nothing catches your eye?

*waves hands* Welcome to Collarme.

If you say something funny or clever, my interest will be piqued and I might try to befriend you.

I'm actually less mean than I sound. 

I'm like an onion in that I have layers. Also like an onion, I can reduce people to tears.

In my latest picture, you can see a stove in the background. Yep, I'm out of the kitchen.

Let the "A woman's place is in the kitchen" jokes begin.

I was going to say "Be creative" but how likely is that on here? The majority of members are horndogs with single-digit IQs.

To the guys: I actually LOVE seeing photos of your cock. Combined with an asinine or blank profile, it really gets my rocks off. Oh, how I adore seeing profiles of guys who sound like uneducated serial killers showing off pictures of their penises. Size does matter. By showing me how big your dick is, you show me how big of a dick you are.

To the ladies: Keep showing of your tits. They will land you a guy who likes you for your razor sharp wit and your winning personality. Who needs profiles when you have tits? You get bonus points for showing a picture of you flipping someone the bird in front of your pussy.

Personality and intelligence is for LOSERS!

A lot of people complain that this site is full of fakes. That's not true.

What I suspect happened is as follows: These aggrieved people saw someone they liked. They messaged this someone and the someone didn't give them the time of day or things didn't go the way they wanted. These people became jaded and bitter. They were upset that others weren't interested in their ordinary, uninteresting, unintelligent selves. Thus, all of the bitter boo-hoo-ing about the site being full of fakes began. 

To all people who claim that the site is full of fakes, I suggest that you read the story of the Fox and the Grapes by Aesop. 

Tiny tidbit: I'm on FL under the same name. :D 

Randomly adding me there won't get you brownie points or anything, though.

Some of the profiles of dominants on here are jokes, and by jokes I mean they're not at all funny, but actually slightly disgusting. I've been seeing a few of them where they say things like "You will have no limits" or "Your only limits will be mine." I know that hotels don't have copies of some mythical BDSM bible tucked below some generic holy book, but I think that subs and dominants need to realise that limits are there for a reason: they protect the mental and physical health of a sub (and sometimes a dominant). Repeat after me: Safe, Sane and Consensual. Ignoring limits is insane, I'd just like to point out. If someone lists rape-play as a hard limit, just because they didn't go into some long, detailed account of why they're not into it, it doesn't mean that you can ignore the limit.

What's the best way to break a play toy? By being careless and ignoring the fact that it can break.

I have my moments of social awkwardness. That's fine because I was a socially awkward teenager and an even more socially awkward kid. However, as I get older, I realise that I have fewer moments of social awkwardness. I assumed that it's with the passing of time and the usual ageing process. I can carry on long conversations with people I've met for the first time because I'm polite and I've learned ways to make people think that I'm listening to them (I usually am listening to them, but sometimes I REALLY don't want to hear about why you prefer x brand of soap over y brand). 

I usually prefer men who are close to my age or younger than me (women and trans people of any age are usually fine with me). I don't prefer men who are significantly older than me because I have some issues (not daddy issues)  that are yet to be resolved. There's also the whole thing of how we'll relate to each other etc. That said, if an older man decides to message me, I won't ignore the message because I'm too polite for that. However, I'd like to let any men who decide to message me know that the older you are, the more I expect from you and your messages. I really think that as we get older we're supposed to develop more advanced social skills, so while I'll just consider a guy in his 20s who send a one-liner as a slow meat-head, I'd consider a man in his 40s who sends me a one-liner an idiot without any social graces and I'll wonder how in the world he managed to have any sort of career or relationship because, good God, by that age you should have more to say for yourself than "hi" or "hey there."

I've been away for a while. 

Yeah. School is a bitch. But it's cool since I can take that kind of bitchiness. I have to learn, it'll probably take up the majority of my life (my lifelong dream is to be an academic).

Sorry to people who messaged me and didn't get responses. 

I'm back for now, though I don't now how long it'll last.

 :D

So far, I've seen two Financial Dom profiles. They're even sadder than Financial Dommes. 

Painting things with a thin, watery sheen of "humiliation and domination" doesn't convince anyone. 

It's not like I have a personal vendetta against financial Doms/Dommes. It's just that I think that they're a joke, and it would appear that roughly half of all of the profiles on here are for Financial Doms/Dommes. With those kinds of figures, the joke is getting very old, very quickly.

"This guy/gal's profile is blank except for a few nude pictures of themselves and the basic information that all CM profiles have. This person seems so interesting, I should message them and get to know more about them." Said no one ever.

Filling in a little box with a minimum of 100 words can't be THAT hard.

Dominate vs Dominant

Dominate is a verb. You cannot BE dominate, you can dominate.

Dominant is an adjective. You can BE dominant, but you cannot dominant someone.

Why are we confusing the two? 

Simple errors like this give me a headache. 

It's curious how many financial dommes there are on this site. The fact that there aren't any financial doms is even more curious. That only men seem to be interested in financial dommes is most curious. 

You don't particularly need CM to find a woman who will suck you dry or deplete your finances. 

The fin dommes just come off as spoiled women with an overpowering and unjustified sense of entitlement. But I suppose that there are people who are into that.

I just think that if you're going to throw your money at people, you might as well throw it at people who will appreciate it. Bitchy princesses, 9 out of 10 times, won't appreciate it.

I am just saying.