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Officially, I am looking for friends.Repeat - friends only. Not friends with benefits, not friends with a thing on the side - friends.
Im married. My hubby is my subbottom. No, he is not my cuck. No, Im not going talk dirty with someone. Yes, dirty comments or comments about my appearance irks the hell out of me.
If you dont take a polite no to heart and continue to try to get my nudes, kik handle, or get me to talk dirty or otherwise get into my pants without my permission, fair warning - Im posting your messages to my friends chats and we will laugh at your futile attempts.
What I would suggest is.....
Tell me about you
What do you like to do on your day(s) off work?
Are you employed in a field you love or love to hate?
Pets (the non-human kind)?
What three things would you bring to a deserted island?
What is your favorite food?
Name a vanilla-life product (, something) that you swear was designed by a closet sadist. My number one vote - Pillsbury biscuits. Round-a-bouts come in a close second.
Favorite a) classic-ish and b) modern author.
Hint, hint. Lead with something NOT kinky. If I cant connect with you in the vanilla world, I will have no interest in talking to you in the kink world.
Kaylee (me) trivia
I enjoy playing video games and tabletop RPGs.
Telling me that I play like a girl is a compliment.
I just got reintroduced to DD, so much fun!
I am retired but currently homeschooling my children (so that means Im not really retired, right?)
I am very intuitive. Almost to the point of being scary.
You get bonus brownie points if you know the sci fi show my name originated from.
I like gardening, animals, and homesteading crafts (yes, I have a hippie card.)
Peace,
Kay
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Please, please contact me if
1) I've already told you "no" once. twice. ten times.
2) You are looking for discretion
3) You write me to let me know my hard limits are not valid
4) You live a thousand miles away and love me
5) You are a thinly veiled man posing as a lesbian woman
6) You are young enough to be my offspring
7) You are a no-limits slave
8) You are looking for a no-limits slave
9) You demand me to call you "Sir" or "Master" within the first message
10) You are Master of the copy and paste message
End sarcasm font. |
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I normally do not call people out on this stuff. BUT SERIOUSLY - Yup, a real profile (part of one, no names to protect the idiot) from this cesspool of humanity that is Collarspace.
"I am married and my wife is sub but due to cancer and now a long regimen of chemo, play is impossible as any bruise will cause infection and serious complications. So I seek a sometimes sub to help me take the edge off my needs and desires. I lost my first wife and sub to epilepsy and simply cant go through that again."
So this dude is not only CHEATING on his sick cancer stricken wife but is trying to play the "give me a sympathy fuck" card?
Because it is all about HIS needs, right? No one ever died from lack of a submissive at their fingertips.
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
WTH????? |
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Dear dude pretending to be a Domme.
Your cock is showing.
That is all. |
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If I update my profile...
...figure I must be bored stiff
Or
...one too many people have offered to biy my panties
Or
...several have asked where I'm from
Or
...someone has asked if my husband is a fuck
Or
...someone has asked what I'm into
Or
...my relationship status has changed.
Wait. Nope. We're good. Still married.
Whew. |
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I come across profiles with people complaining that others read their mail but never respond. Below are two actual email chains I just experienced (with names removed.)
THIS is why we do not respond.
I read his profile. It scared me. I decided we would not be a good fit, even for friendly chatting.
Him
hello
Me
Sorry, no.
Him
lol what was asked? lol
Me
I'm saying "no, I would not like contact with you."
Him
lol I didnt ask that. I didnt ask anything...
Me
You sent me a message which would imply a conversation starting. I sent a preemptive "no thank you."
Him
I sent a Hello....that's it...but hey its been nice exchanging with you but I've got to go...bye lol
Seriously, his was one of the better exchanges.
And there is THIS gem from a guy who claims to be a "pimp." Cause, you know, middle aged women want to give up house and home to be a "hoz" for a random internet dude...
I just glanced at his profile. Evidently that means he can talk to me like this?
Him
you can't speak?
Moi
excuse me?
Him
This is written text so you can't tell me you didn't just hear me bitch. Since we're playing slow i'll ask again.. yyuu you loo loo look bb bbuu but you can't speak? Why be so rude? Why not just say hello sir how are you?
Moi
You are rude.
I am blocking you now.
This is just a small sampling of what I've experienced over this last week. From what I understand, this is all minor compared to what other wo(men) have experienced.
We decline to respond to your message because we are either afraid to get one of these or just don't have time for the bull shit. When we don't respond, we are actually, politely, trying to say "no thank you."
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For every one person of quality I meet on CS, I have to wade through at least a dozen assholes.
Know that before I trust someone I am VERY guarded. I know it's not "fair" to you but if someone says something that makes me cringe - I am done - even if it is done innocently.
If you get upset/yell/or otherwise try to shame me for making that call you are confirming my suspicions.
I have had people
- make a "girl" account as a guy and pretend to be a lesbian
- insist on my calling them "Sir" or "Master" without negotiations
- assume that the only thing standing in between them and I is the physical distance between us. (note that MY consent to meet/befriend/talk or otherwise communicate with you takes priority over any distance issues.)
- tell me I need a "dose of humility" when I call them out on their entitlement
- use creepy/stalker wording
- swear at me
- yell at me
- try to "shame" me
- demand phone numbers and/or pictures and/or KIK and/or sex in the FIRST message
- assume that because I'm on a "kink" site I am expected to talk kink with THEM
- make multiple accounts so they can harass me after I've said "no."
- immediately talk sex/kink without my consent
- lead with several topics that are hard limits |
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Had a guy argue with me once. He said that Kaylee was my "real" name. I insisted that it wasn't. I mean, who goes by their real name on a kink site? Right? Seriously, this went back and forth for about three or four messages. :/ He finally told me that I didn't know what I was talking about - that people don't just make up names like "Kaylee."
It's not made up.
Well, if you are Josh Wheaton I guess you can say it's "made up." |
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My "Little"
This is one area where I'm learning. A lot.
I've heard of some littles going into a completely different headspace when they are "little." I don't think I'm quite like that. I actually dislike the idea of not being in control of my own body. (I don't even enjoy subspace too much.)
For me, being "little" means I have permission to do those things that I do not have permission to as an adult. Things like paint my fingernails green (my favorite color) or color or spend too long in a bubble bath or play video games or make spelling errors. :)
I find that my "little" likes to care for other "littles." I'm thinking that makes me a big sister - a role I've had my entire life.
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Why Punishment is a Hard Limit
Cross posted from my profile on Fet.
Yea. I know. I can't be a "real" submissive with "punishments" listed as a hard limit. Right?
Wrong.
If your goal is to have me happily and joyfully serving you, punishments will be counter-productive.
A punishment will push me away. Every time you point out how I fucked up, how I displeased you, how you need to correct me, I wither. If I wither enough I will be an empty shell and simply go through the motions. Once I realize I'm just going through the motions, I'm done.
Encouragement will draw me to you.
It takes a gentle hand to manage me. Pretend I'm a sports car. Pretend that you try to handle that sports car the same way you would handle your mom's mini van. How is that steering going for you? The brakes? Have you wrapped it around a telephone pole yet?
It doesn't take much to get me going in the right direction. I can almost read your mind. Yes I can, really. I love it when you need something and I can rush to get it for you.
In fact, If a D type needs to resort to punishment in order to manage me, I'm quite sure he's not that bright and I will be bored instantly...
As a teacher I've learned that the behavior you emphasize is increased. If I point out what the children are doing wrong, they do it more. If I ignore inappropriate (but not dangerous) behavior and praise desirable behavior, guess what I see more of? The desirable behavior.
If you point out what I'm doing right, what you like, you will see more of it.
Punishment does not make me feel safe and secure. It makes me feel anxious and fearful.
Spankings won't work. I like them.
Besides. You don't really need a reason to spank, hit, whip, torture, or otherwise entertain yourself at my expense, now do you? |
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My profile from the "other" site:
((waves)) Hi, I'm Kay.
I'm not quite sure what I am looking for. Officially, I am looking for "friends." Anything other than that would depend upon how good of friends we become. It doesn't take days or weeks to build that kind of a friendship - think months to years.
It would be awesome to find a non-sexual partner to beat up and to beat me up, but I swear they don't exist.
I list myself as a "switch" because they don't have a pull-down for a "bratty sometimes submissive sometimes bossy little that likes thudy and stingy things"
For those who have asked. I am a submissive to my Dom, I am a Domme to my husband, I am a switch to my FWB. I am owned by NO ONE. Come on, this lifestyle is so much more than "Are you owned or collared." It is multifaceted and every relationship is a different expression of the lifestyle. Mine works for me.
Don't call me patronizing pet names unless you want to take your teeth home in your pocket.
Kaylee (me) trivia:
- I enjoy playing video games and tabletop RPG's
- I am a preschool teacher as well as a CPR instructor.
- I am very intuitive. Almost to the point of being scary.
- I play a musical instrument, the mountain dulcimer. I love it, it's relaxing and very simple to play.
- You get bonus brownie points if you know the sci fi show my name originated from.
- I love scary movies
And now for the standard-I've-run-into-a-ton-of-jerks statement:
Yes, I post a lot of girlie-parts photos. I post them because they make me happy. Unless you are a close friend of mine, I really don't want to know what you do when you view them.
Hard Limits (other than the usual illegal stuff)
- tight rope (on me)
- immobilization (on me)
- bull whips
- hoods/masks
- mummification (on me)
- humiliation/degradation/patronizing interaction
- cuckolding
- animal/pony/puppy play
- medical play
- punishment
- cages
- branding/permanent stuff
- sexual actions
- TPE
I took "THE TEST"
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/
==
95% Voyeur
92% Exhibitionist
90% Submissive
90% Masochist
86% Switch
85% Brat (@WildGaWolfman ha!)
76% Non-monogamist
64% Sadist
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=1085464
...
"A good dominant does not place his submissive on a pedestal. Instead he keeps her tied to one."
... |
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Fibro SUCKS
I'm sitting here typing away and random pain is going up and down my right leg. booooooooo |
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Doms need to find another way to say "I like pushing limits/boundries." It makes it sound as if you want to challenge our hard limits. The moment I see that on someone's profile, I am done. |
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Dudebros can be quite predictable.
This is how 98.67% of conversations go:
Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: Wanna chat?
Me: Sure, but I prefer to chat here, via messages.
Him: Ok, ask me anything. I'm an open book.
Me: Well, you messaged me first. It would be best if you started the conversation first. Might I suggest the list of vanilla interests I have listed on my profile?
Him: Ok. I read the list. So what are you into?
Me: I like to sew, read, knit, play video games.
Him: Oh, I like games too! Do you like to tie men up?
Me: I tie my husband up, yes.
(He goes and views my profile again, this time reading it for content. Oh, look! I am married. Oh, look! I don't want to sex chat with random strangers off the interwebs!)
And crickets chirping.
Why is it that
1) Men lie about actually reading your profile?
2) They assume you want what they want?
3) These types are so friggin obvious.
And this is one reason why women are so, so cautious online! |
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I seriously doubt that I am a real submissive.
A Master messages me and my jeans do not imediately fall off.
A Dom sends me a message and my panties don't get wet.
I'm not interested in a TPE, no limits dynamic with a complete stranger.
I'm married and my submissive husband is not a cuck.
I'm not a slut.
My deepest darkest kink is not oral.
I despise foot worship.
(Hell, I can barely tollerate a pedicure.)
I will tell someone "no" - and sometimes "fuck no, you dipshit" if need be.
I despise, hate, and loathe being controlled, micromanaged, and manipulated.
If I think a rule is stupid, I will tell someone it is stupid.
I love strong, powerful, dominant men.
But know this - I am not submissive.
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A "Dom" calls me "fake" then sends his submissive(s) after me to send me threatening messages.
All because I am cautious and he sent up several "red flags" and triggered the "hell no" response from me.
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I love reading profiles. It is the internet version of people watching. Some profiles make me cringe - others make me smile.
Regardless. If I look at or read someone's profile, it does NOT mean I am obligated to accept rude messages, demands to submit, demands for sex, or any oyher squcky messages I haven't even thought of yet.
On top all of that, I don't care if you are the nicest man in the world. If you raise any "red flags" we are done. No I don't need to explain "why" or give you a "chance". No I will not explain what counts as a red flag - predators will then know how to work around them.
Additionally, if you pout, stomp your "Domly" feet, or worse yet, get a "friend" to cuss me out, you have validated all of my concerns.
If you (or the friend) cusses me out in this process - I win. |
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For the love of cats, people, stop asking me if I'm owned.
1) Not everyone is in a M/s dynamic. Some of us are plain, ordinary, run of the mill subby types.
2) Even if I were a slave, if I am on this site and engaging in conversation, it is safe to assume that I am permitted to do so.
3) I am more than capable of speaking for myself.
4) Asking me if I am owned is most likely the quickest way to get me pissed off.
Bonus bullet point
5) Saying "by all means, speak for yourself" after I mention the above is demonstrating that you are not, indeed, a Dom - you are a condescending prick and need to never ever claim otherwise.
Kay |
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I think one of the more frustrating things about this (and other kink) sites is this: The people who contact me, more often than not, lead with sex and/or kink. While I am submissive, the idea of submitting or performing in ANY kink/sex activity with someone I do not know turns my stomach. I read profiles where the D type begins with "what he expects" and I think to myself "FUCK NO." The fur on the back of my neck raises up and my eyes narrow. I am immediately put on guard.
The funny thing is that I have submitted to demands more kinky, more twisted than what a few have listed but (and a huge BUT) it has always been with someone I have trusted tremendously and have a relationship with. Not much of the kinks I've seen have touched on my own hard limits. But - I really don't feel the need to discuss those with complete strangers.
I have discovered that if someone feels I'm not worth the time to develop a friendship/relationship with me then they aren't the type of play partner I would want anyways. |
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I can't stop laughing. I just had a "dom" tell me that a submissive does not have the right to say no. Bwa ha ha ha. |
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There is a big fucking difference between a dude with control issues and a man who is Dominant.
Know the difference. |
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Dear Hypno-Doms,
The optical illusions you choose for your profile pictures are giving me a migraine.
Thank you,
Kay |
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What is it with the creepy Dom pictures?
When you attempt to look all serious and Dom-like, you really look
1) like Charles Manson
2) wasted or drunk
3) constipated
4) demon possessed (see related Charles Manson bullet point)
5) like you just had surprise butt sex
6) like a predator (nope, not a good thing)
Remember, gentlemen, you never get a second chance to make a first impression! |
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| Age: 20 |
| Houston,
Texas |
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