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Sometimes, you really just dont know where you stand......thats a great time to sit.
Okay, about me.....I love the kink! Its exciting, provacative, imaginative, and , when it incorporates two people on the same page....its incredible! I have learned a great deal in the past year and I have finally come to the conclusion that life really is this simple: Find the one who is content, satisfied and pleased by you, and you will find yourself content, satisfied and pleased by them. Anything short of that is cheating yourself. I have a difficult time "balancing" this kink in every day to day happenings. I consider myself a dominate type person, however, at the same time I love buying flowers, giving massages, leaving notes, or generally trying to make my partner happy and feel good about themself......I consider myself intelligent, then again, most of us think of ourselves as intelligent..lol...so I guess I am somewhat normal there. I want something so simple....I want to find someone who enjoys this kink and will be happy in a long term relationship. I really am not into one niters....and that brings us to a real sticking point with me: If you interested, and you want to pursue something, THATS GREAT!....but if your going to pursue something, than do it whole heartedly. Dont pull the ole, "One in the hand and three waiting on the side in a backup plan" ....thats just not a good thing. I mean really. Lets just say you happen to find out just how real I am, how fun, how creative, exciting, ...ect ect..*Okay, the fonts are free but I really did just over do it " ..ohh back to where I was headed... lets just say you thought there was something worth pursueing and led me to believe that as well...I would expect a certain amount of fidelity, of commitment. lol..okay, all those who think thats stupid, ...please move on, THIS is MY wish list damnit! lol
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wondering aloud (sorta)... does anyone else go into the empty chat rooms so they can be alone? Its kind of a solitary moment....you dont have to read everyones entries, (cause yours are the only ones there), but it does get a little old if you happen to forget where the exit button is....OMG....thought I was gonna spend my birthday there....*whew*. (thank god for power outages) Speaking of power outages....ooops, no I wasnt..so forget what I was going to say....ummm..i already did. on to another interesting subject... bondage; I recently read "Dom's Guide To Bondo" ..thought it would be a new perspective. Instead, its merely a book about auto body repairs written by a guy named Dom. SOOOOO, dont waste your time nor money ..(unless your car has an owwie and needs fixin)...BUT, while i was reading, (took five chapters before I realized there WASNT any hidden meanings and it really WAS a book on autobody repairs) I thought, I bet a collection of tales of oopsies and OHHH no!'s would make funny reading! So, on that thought, if anyone has any tales they wouldlike to share, please feel free to share em with me. (thats going with the premise that anyone actually reads this....) chit, what I am thinking!!! Okay, time to make hay or something along those lines... ciao!!!!!
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Personal thought here..... down to the left, right under the various categories you can click on, is a "As the Collar Turns" entry. "puffing chest out" NOW.. I dont pretend to know everything about this kink, BUT I do know that if the collar is turning complete circles, then someone sure has goofed up!...ooops wait, unless its Air Bondage...ya know, sorta like an air guitar.....ohhhh chit, this leads to a whole new set of thoughts..like, If someone is into "air bondage", well, umm..do they get excited whenever they see a ballon?....(scratching head....but then again, I never understood a foot fetish either.. cause that goes against that inner voice in my head that screams for equality and justice and if your into a foot fetish you have to choose, left or right....SOMETHING is gonna get left out in the cold! ... WOW...anyone interested in joining a support group for the feet that feel disenfranchised ..(thanks Al Gore for that term that I never knew)..oh, where was I going with this?...ohhh yeah the support group thingy, damnnnnn another question,: ooops never mind, I just found my magic eight ball. OKay... NOW.. on to something about the kink. I learned something recently about sites like this. If your going to send a picture, DONT send your absolute worst ones. Overachiever here! I always thought if you send the worst pics (and they still look alright) THEN, anyone meeting you would be pleasantly surprised whenever they meet ya!.WRONG WRONG wrong...lol. That conclusion rested on the precept that they would want to take things to the next step as opposed to posting that they have moved to Antartica in an attempt to freeze their Ebola virus thats currently and suddenly popped up... (funny thing is, I have this fear that my mug is being used as a dart board somewhere by someone who dabbles in voodoo) lol...j/k. anyways...anyone want to give me some clues as to how you get handcuffs off when you dont have a key? ummm..actually I dont have any handcuffs but I like being prepared incase I come across some Nice looking damsel in distress and they have come to grips with the reality that this kink is for them AND they have been cuffed by some extremely late halloween custumed individual who also happens to be extremely unorganized and ran off after realizeing they didnt have the keys....*WHEW" quiet please, I am taking this moment to pat myself on the back for NOT forgetting where that little rant/rave/diatribe was going!!!!! THERE IS HOPE!!!! I can STILL be an active member of the Tpetoy fan club!!! lol ummm not sure if they will let me do this or not but I did find a really cool website that is designed for art/photography and fortunately they consider "fetish" a legitimate category, soooooo they have tons of cool pics. If anyone wants to look, just let me know. (I have nothing to do with the site, but I will have some works there) Anyways, I hope everyone limbers and properely stretches, uses quick releases and ...BIG AND HERE... AND, finds someone special that they can share their innermost desires with. CIAO and hope everyone is smiling! |
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okay....this isnt funny. the period thing on my keyboard JUST unionized and wants special recognition for being overly used....SHEEESHHH! ATTN: anyone wanting to clarify on the correct protical as to how many people are required to make a "scene". Do multiple personalities count as individual numbers or do they all have to have thier own bodies?...(just want to make sure in case it ever comes up as a question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...)
NOW, on to the really important stuff...... (insert here any ideas you would like to think that someone else would actually care about). ..-...--.. .... ..-...- --.-
DISCLAIMER: the preceeding dots and dashes was an attempt to speak to those individuals who do not speak english but do converse in morse code and in no measure or means attempts to portray myself as one who is artistically gifted nor inclined. Any loss of time or resources or hair folicals suffered due to an individual allocating the aforementioned assests in an attempt to make sense of that, is....uuuumm..well, your loss. (Really...LIKE I would have any thing valuable to say????????) ohhhhh almost forgot...to those that DID insert something into that little block PLEASE send me an email describing just how you were able to get your monitor screen clean WITHOUT altering the dust covering which also serves as a UV dampening safety screen. I will thank you in adavance and ..... CHIT...whistle blew, gotta give the periods their break. Have a good one !
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ATTN: ANYone wishing to sign up for the Tipitoe Fan Club, Please accept the fact that I am pres., treasurer AND Chief Drum Banger... (Our club colors are Pink!) ooops..."Puffing chest out" ummm...being Chief Drum Banger allows me to stay in the black leathers.... JUST an FYI |
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I was unindated with questions as to how the "miracle grow" experiment was going so.... lets put it this way. That damn stuff doesnt know where to go so if anyone knows where a person buys a pair of shoes in two different sizes ...please respond. ...Ohhhh and btw, in the event any hair folically challenged individuals try "Chia Pet" in an attempt to add to their numerically declining hair growths, well, just try a half a package at a time. (I refuse to put my pic that shows what I look like with a gigantic fro thats green) ...ohhh chit.... I should have ran the disclaimer that you can be a dom and still laugh....ohh hell, no one is gonna believe me now. lol..ohhhh well. I hope everyone is haveing a great year! ciao! |
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hi everyone!.... (tossing book "Rules Of The English Language" )... I hope the new year was good to ya and is indicative of a better year yet to come! I am enjoying a slow season....errrr wait.... not really. I would rather be busy than bored and just a FYI: wiring a clock to 220 voltage doesnt make it go faster. well, a little short on time, but hope to hear from ya! |
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I am secretly taking miracle grow in an attempt to have one of those really REALLy huge appendages ....the kind between my legs....so I can post a nakie picture too..... (a word of warning: Dont try this at home. OR taking too much ChiaPet at the same time...BELIEVE ME... having a totally seperate ecosystem growing in your boxers is NOT fun....) |
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OMG! ... who the hell wrote that previous entry?.. If it makes me look brighter I shall point out the spelling errors, while categorically denying that I did em....sorta. Alot has gone on, alot is going on, AND..and alot will be going on. Geeez....I made myself tired just rereading that. "putting on the ole dom aire that simply makes anyone with a pulse bow down immediately and ponder how they can make their lordship more comfortable"....ummmm.. *waiting patiently*... (still waiting patiently but wondering if anyone will notice if I bow to myself)....CHIT... our dogs are watching me. SIGHHHHH... OOppps wait. WAIT.. doms DONT SIGH! HEll no. not any doms I know. "in case your wondering, us doms usually ride to a high hill top and majestically take some pose atop our steed and look down upon our kingdoms. This moment of course is NOT planned as a press anouncement but hey....if they show up and I make the cover of Dom Quarterly or Dom Today...
Not much time tonight but wanted to know.....anyone else ever really think about the little message that says.."Bothered by too many Messages?".... OKAY...i admit...I TOOOoooo HAVE suffered that ailment and I finally figured out that If have a few drinks and relax a little that I typically forget my password and that takes care of messageing myself too much.....JUST a little helping idear......DONT send money... JUST bow.. |
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I recently sent this out as an attempt to garner some interest. Any feedback would be appreciated.
salutations from the outback!... First off...no. I am not the typical guy masqurading as a dom who wants to see two females together. I am neither typical, nor a charade. I am seeking friends of likemindedness for the purpose of bringing a new experience to my submissive. She is attractive, sensual, fun, and very much into sensual pain. We have spoken in great lengths of "new experiences" that we would like to have and due to the fact that I do not have a clit, the "being dominated by another woman" scene is one that I cannot do on my own. If she were to never experience this, it would not deminish how much we enjoy this kink together, however, with her mental psychie being as it is, I have no doubts it would be an experience that she would relish beyond measure. As for myself, I honestly believe that there are sensations/experiences/moments that only another woman could possibly manufacture due to the level of sensitivity that most females seem to have. This is not a knock against me or my fellow males, rather just a fact. Would I enjoy the situation?...of course. Would you?....I believe that rests in your own personal assimulation of the experience. I could without a doubt, mentally stimulate you as well as physically, until you become totally immersed in your own climax. Could I do that while you dominate a woman who has only toyed with the thought of submitting to another of like gender? Could you bring a "virgin" to climax from the fullfillment that comes with genuine submission, while at the same time submitting to a man who will not only toy with your mind, but your most sensitive body parts....? In essence, could you give up control while demanding it from another....
I am being as open and honest as one can be. I seek your response. You, haveing been in the position of exploring your submissive side, might, and probably will be, a source of valuable information. I will not deny that the mental wrangling that is going on in my head, is exciting. One would have to NOT have a pulse to not get excited at the thought of watching you, while you try to find your way, try to find that place as a dom where you bring your submissive to complete and utter surrender. Even in its awkwardness, it would still be exciting. Even more when I consider what it would be that brings you to a level of abandonment; something that would most likely become apparent as you attempt to exercise your will over another submissive. Does this stir your spirit? Bondage and breathplay, and sensory deprivation is something that we enjoy immensly. Bondage; she can attain *release* simply by being bound tightly while having her senses nullified. I believe this is due to the fear factor that comes when the "flight or fight" urge is being contridicted, i.e Stranger Danger sensation..... She also has a propensity to try an move into a *Top from the Bottom* situation as her excitement level peaks and unless a dom. has the ability to maintain the control, she will usurp all authority. I wonder about you. Do you attempt the same? Is that the norm among those with a submissive tendency? I wish to understand the thought process that goes on. I do not need to do that for my own pleasure in one sense, but in becoming more knowledgeable about the mind set, the more pleasurable an experience will be for those involved. I am not a sadist in the pure use of the word. I DO enjoy giving a good spanking, (understatement), but only in the context of "pleasurable pain". I would enjoy hearing your breathing becoming labored as you struggle to maintain control while I administer various devices to your body. You would find yourself in a quandry when you feel the rope or chain being attached to your feet, while at the same time barking out some command to keep her under your administration....could you still do that as I rip your shirt, bra...panties off? leaving you as equally exposed as you had made her? Could you grab her by the hair and force her face into the gap between your legs and demand that she please you, while at the same time fighting the urge to whine or gasp as I whisper in your ear to push your hips against my fingers which will soon be manipulating your own cunt.?... Could you concentrate to that level? As her tongue is forced to manipulate your swollen clit, will you resist as I pull one of your arms behind you and begin to tie it to your ankles, leaving you immobile? Or, will that point come as I begin to hinder your senses, one by one. A blindfold or maybe a hood....a gag and ear plugs positioned tightly in place...all the while, your still responsible for maintaining control over the pain slut who you now have sucking on your most sensitive organ. Will you scream "harder...HARDER" as I begin to tease your skin with a smooth leather strap, all the while knowing, that soon, your not sure how soon, but soon, you will be unable to fight the surge, that growing wetness that is sure to accent your swollen lips. Yes, I totally intend to enjoy watching you move from one end of the spectrum to the other....You will go from picking the location where you want the whip to land, to hopeing your capable of maintaining your composure, though somewhat hopeful that you can not. You will raise her level of fear, and yet, while doing so, cause her to moan with excitement as she moves into a totally foreign area of submission. The sense of power and the rush that comes from another laying themselves bare for your use, making themselves vunerable to the point of being at your mercy, or watching them endure humiliation; by making them strip outright so we can inspect every aspect of her body. Only to find out that the stripping and going thru an inspection isn't nearly as pulse raising as being forced to fuck a vibrator, a dildo, their own hand, or maybe even a crop handle while being watched, being filmed. Would you enjoy a quick, sharp, swat with a thin cane at that exact moment?...something totally out of the blue....something to bring back the reality that you are going to experience "submission" yourself....Honestly, does the scenario arouse you? I believe it would. I want to know more. I have questions to ask. Would you like to talk?...I have pics to send and hope my forthrightness has stirred interest in your spirit...In the event you chose to experience something of this nature, we are not promiscuous and safe sex is the only option. We are disease and criminal record free. (Ooops, traffic tickets dont count).. email a phone number and I will contact you at an agreed time. I will give you phone numbers and anything else you wish. |
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hello to anyone that reads this page, or to anyone who can decipher the clicking of the keyboard....or, to those of pychic powers who know what I am thinking... (got time to help me figure it out?) lets see, where do I start.....I just recently came out of a long term relationship that incorporated the bdsm lifestyle/kink on a pretty regular basis. Right now, its almost a blurr. Sometimes, the excitement of the "new" has a way of keeping us blind to other issues which are truely more important....i.e.character, integrity...ect.
...*sound of screaching brakes*...oooohhh wow, I was heading to seriousville rather quickly...forgive me there! I am not ready to jump wholeheartedly into another long term relationship....or am I?....Isnt love a choice? one can chose to be open to that possibility or they can close off thier heart......(I choose the former, rather than the latter)..so, in light of reading my own writing, IF the right person were to come along, YES, I love the committed relationship scenario. (More to add shortly.....stay tuned as I travel down the road of exploration----------------------------------------- |
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wow....I just went back and read my own entries here in the journal. It will have to suffice for me to say that I really need to join the local chapter of "Save A Font" I will have to keep this short, but wanted to say thank you to those who had sent nice messages and thought it was really cool of you! Hope everyones 4th was fun and your spirits were high.
niters people! |
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okay...in my vast experience..(one long term relationship with a submissive).....I have come to the conclusion that life can really knock the wind out of you. Okay, so now that the revelation of the year is out of the bag, lets move on to something funny: my ability to keep my shoes tied....ooops sorry, was reflecting on my son's problem...DAMN i have to keep my roles straight....(mentally picturing rolls not being kept straight almost resembles hot crossed buns .....) the "you really amaze me award" goes to whoever followed that chain of thought.....lets see, whats new in my world....ummm..ummm..ohhh...the love of my life dumped me.....AND I am starting a new job....AND....its amazing how long this laptop has lasted without being plugged in....(the preceeding new news items were not listed in any sort of order and this writer refuses to be held indemnible for any such confusion) this disclaimer brought to you by...."I cant win an arguement, even with myself".....lol..then again, why waste time argueing with yourself, we all know whos going to have the last word on the matter..... But, as i mentioned above, I am now out of a relationship and have no doubts that I have been given a green light to pursue a new road. All those who are still searching for someone to send those wonderful fruit cakes you have been storeing up since xmas, I am more than willing to receive them, so please feel free to contact me and we can begin talking. (music fades in...the song..Born Free plays quietly as I begin to wonder Just HOW long will these batteries last???) |
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Yes, its another fine day in the kingdom of Ken! I hope life is smiling on everyone and the IRS refund checks are coming quickly! This is going to be a rather short post, why??..umm.. (reading scratch paper that reminds me of my short term memory issue)..oops, wait, I dont have a short term memory issue...do I?..Ya know, one can never keep a thought to themselves in these small boxes....EVERYONE, turn your head for a moment while I do some deep reflecting......(picturing childhood scenes....mountains...sea shores.....a puppy....windy fields....dark earth......chit, I am recalling my fifth grade play "Oklahoma".. disregard the previous two thousand fonts or so....) Okay, disregard everthing I have written and your mind will probably be in even better shape.... May the Sun shine on your face, May the Wind be at your back...May..umm is the month your worry if the IRS will notice how late you are in filing your return......(wow, I really ruined the moment there)...lol..have a good day everyone! |
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lol....okay, I just read my last posting...I scared myself. Did I really write that??? Oops, nevermind, thats just a product of *myself and I* getting even for the exorcism I performed in an attempt to get rid of them. (just for the record; Me decided to drink the holy water instead of sprinkling it on myself and I)...okay, NOW, if you were able to follow that...this will be simple: lol...I am currently involved with the love of my life, she really is incredible and I couldnt make it a day without her in my life....(god, Do I sound pathetic or what??? lol...and I proclaim to be *dom*?? lol..) ohhh chit, wait, I am, DOMS can be in love with thier submissive!!! YES. We really can! (Picture the sun rising shining light into the dark recess known as my brain)..(music begins playing again and scenes from the Waltons begin flashing across my mind)... ohh OKAY, the Waltons are going a bit far...buy hey, we all have images of *family life*, so DONT bust my bubble! lol....anyways, I appreciate all the responses that I have recieved and will continue to post as long as I have a pulse.....if i dont have a pulse, posting will be rather difficult, so please forgive that. ohhh wait, if I dont have a pulse, I probably wont need your forgiveness for not posting.. or will I?....sheeshhh..wheres the preist when you need one???...OKAY ALL those wishing to participate in the religious scene give me a break, I am having a real spiritual moment!!! Stop teasing me with the lines about chastising the nuns.....(Confession moment: I never learned how to apply a chasity device during my years at the monestary, unless you count on adjusting the web browser content, lol lol..) Have a great day everyone... |
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okay, there was a time when people actually read this thing....lol...so, now, I am turning to *you people* in my hour of need.....(Music begins playing softly once again)....ohhh hell with that...slapping bandmaster and hiring Ted Nugent so I can listen to Cat Scratch Fever...... okay..THATS alot better... *whew*, I almost put myself to sleep there (and we all know that drooling on your keyboard shortens the live span of the laptops) okay, back to where I was going... Anyone else have this issue: I am of the dominant persuasion and the lady I am currently involved with claims to be submissive, but yet, she attempts to control all the activity once we begin playing.... Any suggestions? (Imagine suggestion box here).. okay...dont imagine a suggestion box there, over in the corner would be much more astetically pleasing....(All you typo experts, get off it!, its late and I seem to have lost my ":Hooked on Phonics* guidance card.) ohhh, btw...MERRY CHRISTMAS!...ohhh ohh chit, no, NEVER MIND, thats early, not late...or is it?..no, it is...well,ummm..maybe...ohh fuck i forgot.....what was the issue at hand?....(this is the part where the font police issue me a citation for wasting font ink) Okay...KARMA LIVES...AND..VOTE FOR PEDRO |
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you ever have one of those kind of days, ...ya know the kind, you wake up with cotton mouth then realize it really was the pillow you ate, you go to get out of bed and then you realize that you are already, and right at that precise moment, the leg cramps hit you from being in a position akin to a pretzel thats been tossed on the floor before it was baked....you know, those kind of days.....and then to make it worse you realize you could transpose the word *Year* with the word *day* and it would be just as appropriate....lol..YES, I have had one....errr, two?...chit, that short term memory issue is growing...maybe its been three????,..lol.I am really fortunate to have thick skin, sometimes I aggreviate myself so much,....oops..BTW: HAPPY NEW YEAR (thats to counter all the remarks about me being behind the times) |
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wow...time flys when your in turmoil...lol. okay, time to warm the fingers up and get back to reality here. (that indicates that I have been somewhere else, and yes I was) I was quite fortunate to have had the greatest of relationships with a particular lady I met on the internet. (music begins playing in the background, softly) ...but, alas, time changes things and so, here I am again. (how come its always "alas"??? Is that fair to the "alad"?) ... once again, I am needlessly wearing out the keyboard letters, no wonder my carrier pidgeons have an attitude. OKAY..where did that train of thought come from?...ohh ohh back to my thoughts...umm...Lake, Rodeo Isuzus, Rotweillers...umm..this will make no sense to anyone...lol..me included, but my backspace button went to bed. OHH now I remember...I was going to point out that ..I was going to point out that.....ummm..point out???...FRIGGIN short term memory issues... You just gotta hate em, but fortunately, we forget em before that happens..*whew*.. KARMA lives on! |
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cant write that much tonight, my emotions arnt up to the task. Just want to remind everyone, becareful with your heart. |
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GEEZ...aint i just a source of useless information: FYI: In the event you have a nephew or neice attending a beauty college, it is NOT always wise to be the first to volunteer as the guinee pig. (Moving right along to another useless and pointless bit of information) In the event, during a scene, you realize the toes are turning blue, the fingers are numb...and the room is quiet, a person will realize that selfbondage isnt really a good thing.
Okay...*climbing up to my mountain top*...I AM DOM, hear me roar!!! (For all those of you who began to sing along to the tune of *I am woman*, CURSE YOU!.....now i got that damn song stuck in my head.....Ya know, its moments like this i prolly ought to not be typing...so hard to keep a thought to myself... lol..whats really funny is, I really am domineering....and no, thats not the definition for *One who is presently playing dominoes*
sheesh..i cant complete the simplest of thoughts here ..... |
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okay....THIS IS IT! I am gonna start a petition to force Barnes and Noble to at least train thier salespeople with some knowledge of BDSM...ya know how much you stand out in a crowd when you have to take your belt off and simulate a spanking...JUST so the clerk understands what it is your talking about? Course the fact that she was a 20 year old sales clerk and didnt appreciate everyone watching might have had something to do with her pretense of not knowing.....oppps wait, MAYBE she DID appreciate everyone watching...lol...damn...sneaky lil sub just waiting to come outta the closet...
(the preceeding writing was merely a joke, dont report me to the Board Of Governors for Dom's.....one more case of being disciplined and I will never shake the *switch* label) |
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okay...not sure whats up with the repetative use of the word *amazing*, lol...someone slap me if i use it again! Getting ready for a foray into the wilderness again this weekend, its gonna be a blast......(yes, its true, I CAN actually find my way back to the camp site WITHOUT the use of a breadcrumb trail!!) FYI: if you should ever attempt to use a breadcrumb trail, PLEASE, use whole wheat, the animals of the woods are health conscious!..lol
For those who wish to entertain themselves in a more restrained manner, (not talking ropes here, GET your mind outta the gutter)...i would suggest reading: One Hundred Ways To Tie A Slip Knot...by Ican Dew'it
Everyone, Have a great week! |
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ya know whats really amazing?...*besides the fact they havent figured out how to charge per font usage*...lol..ummm..chit...where was i?..ohhhh yes... I find it totally amazing how creative we can be .....(but damn, I HATE being encumbered by the physical restraints of this body!!! i.e. Sleep..rest...ect.) lol..yes...I had a nice weekend, but it just didnt have enough hours in it! NOW thats what the next American Inventor could be working on...HOW do you take 48 hours and turn it into 96?....anyone got a clue? lol..i am all ears |
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Its amazing....the number of people who have related to my procrastination statement, ...and i thought I was the only one who waited 20 years...lol
(Alot of time to make up!) All those in favor of living to the fullest.....raise your cup and toast! |
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okay....ALL THOSE WHO FIND THIS LIFESTYLE AMAZING.....say aye, and smile!....oops, hard to type when your waving your hand frantically in the air as a visual aid. Lets see, ..ummm..ummmm....I have a confession: (this is the part where I quickly find a confessional booth, but, lacking that, I will settle for this box) DISCLAIMER: The following statement is not indicative of my mental reasoning skills, and should not be viewed as such: lol, but, I do find myself wondering why it took me this long to pursue learning more about this stuff....(all arm chair pyscharitrists, this is where you point out my continual ability to procrastinate)....also, English majors, dont hurt yourselves figuring out where I screwed that sentence up so badly....lol, lol...anyways....HOPE everyone else is enjoying the learning process |
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Update time! Its been almost a month since I was on here last and I can say I miss the goofing around and camraderie that this place can bring. HOWEVER...lol lol...GREAT NEWS!.. I can say that the one who holds my heart, has given me hers as well. Its amazing what happens when you find *true love*. The upside is, your so damn happy most of the time you dont realize how sad you were when you were settleing for second best, or less than what one truely deserves! Well, I just wanted to post this cause I know some were interested in whats happened.....See ya around! |
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Tonight is one of the worst of my life. Why? Because of the loss of trust that my own actions has brought about. There are some here, who I have flirted with, and even led on, and for that not only am I ashamed, but I am remorseful. I have never been a *player*, typically, my heart goes out to one, and stays there ...riding the waves of a relationship, the good the bad, the highs and lows. In my opening statement I referred to *waiting for a season* for someone who I was very interested in, and primarily because of my own issues, I have riden the fence. I love this woman. I really cant imagine a day without her in my life in what ever capacity that could be....What I am trying to say here is this....I am apoligizing for leading anyone on, thats my error...and if you were in any way interested, and my actions have caused you any harm, please forgive me. You deserve better, just as the one who I have referred to as *my submissive*, deserves better.....much better. This whole online thing has some upsides..and downsides, and I for one will truely regret the mistakes I have made. I may be on occassionally to check up with friends that I have made, but I no longer will be pursueing anything ...with anyone. I already have a purpose in life, and up until this faux pa, I could have easily said I have lived my life trying to help people heal as opposed to being instrumental in hurting them, what have I become? I am of the thought that I have destroyed the very core of trust that was once between Sherri and I, and thats just another regret to add to the pile. For those that I had talked to, and had even led you to believe we could meet, once again, my deepest apoligies.....I have only met one person from the internet with any romantic interest, and she holds my heart. I am going to be quiet for awhile...maybe forever....I sincerly hope those who are looking ...get to taste what I have tasted, and have the wisdom to not risk it. The die is cast now, and whatever else happens between her and I, time holds the answer...except this time, I am not waiting a season, I will wait for however long it takes.....she is worth that much. Gnight, and good bye my friends! |
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Today is one of those kinda days...ya know, where your almost tempted to call information just to find out if they know what your thinking... *try it once or twice, you will be surprised at the response you can get*..lol. I was going to start a new portion of the book that i have been working on for years....and as soon as i get past the title..i am sure that the progress spent will be well worth it.
I think someone has been cutting and pasteing my postings into a sound program, cause every time i write something here, i keep hearing it in my head later...
The blogging police issued me a citation, for using a journal as a blog, course in my mind its like using a napkin or piece of toilet paper in place of a paper towel....lol...wow..i just made an analogy of that...and they really are similiar...i put the drivel out here...and someone, someday is gonna wipe it out..
I do want to thank the really nice people who have sent condolences in regards to my friends situation...well,...err, my situation. Thanks you very VERY much ...those lil acts of random kindness mean alot
Today i spent time just sorta being reflective....course, the longer i stared in the mirror..i began to wonder what i was doing. So, I opted to be productive....i went out to the shop and changed a clutch in a truck....which really reminded me why i never wanted to be a mechanic.....course, the truck isnt happy with me not being a mechanic.. Just in case anyone is really interested: the automotive books say...*Transmission repair is beyone the scope of most home mechanics*.....well, they are really right there. Cept, i never pretended to be a mechanic...i thought the odds my fall on my side. FYI; when you read something like; A manual transmission has 647 moving parts, take thier word for it. I am still sorta stuck on how number one and two go back together, (while singing...647 parts on the floor...647 parts...take one down..pass it around, 649 parts on the floor) YES, its true, you CAN drop a gear assembly on a concrete surface and make MORE parts if your really bored, or otherwise just naturally inclined to being clumsy....THAT would be me..
Sooooooooo, AFTER kicking the transmission's fourth point of contact..*thats a Parachuting term*, and NO, my chute NEVER failed to open ..thus rendering the concern i landed on my head, mute! ..grrr..i hate it when i get sidetracked...*having a visual of a country line dance gone wayyyy wrong*
I really was going somewhere when i started this thing....not as in physically, but meaningfully.....chit, lol..ohhhh...oppps, nevermind...that was me just having a flashback to the days when I really had clarity of purpose. ....too be continued, *as soon as i find a sharper pencil* |
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okay...alot has happened in the past several days. I woke up with the realization that the only thing I have ever done consistently in my life...is breathing. Do they give awards for that? Tonight isnt a good night. My best friend buried his son today. He was 22... addicted to drugs and found laying in a hotel room, very much alone. The overdose...is it accidental?..was it on purpose? Will there ever be anyway to answer those questions? who knows....my concern is for my friend. What do you say to a parent, who not only loved thier kid, (thier only kid) but really tried to be involved, tried to stay in communication.???? This isnt one of those, *didnt give a damn* type scenarios...Now my friend, who i love like a brother, is left second guessing himself on everything he ever chose for his son, down to the smallest detail. What kind of hell does my friend have in store for the upcoming years?...What do I say to him now? The words sound awkward, so I have resigned myself to just listen, and be a friend and try to help him remember the good times with his once vibrant son.
As for me; I was so wrong...i confused love of the heart..for the love of the experience. I guess that was wrong, but I had my hopes. I had hopes that this year was going to be something different than just settling for the status quo...something great was going to happen and come hell or high water, it was gonna happen this year cause *I deserved* it... lol..omg, how vain is that? lol... I think I am going thru a metamorphisis...from one who was once optimistic, to someone cynical... but then, if one allows the winds of a turbulent time to change them..... were they ever really optimistic? or just untested? Does accepting the fact that you really cant smile at the thought of a new day, does that mean you were never really an upbeat fun kinda person?, but rather a clay jar who hadnt met the kiln yet?...and how does one really know?.. Is there some destination in ones soul that the lights go off and bells flash and you can puff out your chest and scream...I AM HERE!! I HAVE ARRIVED!!! Is there that point, where you just know that you know, that you know, ....your tested and you passed. Or is life just one changing season for another, with a lil rest stop between seasons and the testing never ends?...Is there a moment, when, with a loud clang of a dinner bell, god and all his infinite wisdom says..*DONE*..and he pulls you onto a steady ground with no more testing?
wow, i guess i went a lil deeper tonight...i look so much better being shallow.. |
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just a quick update....heading outta town for a few days....(singing...leavvvvving..onnn a jet planeeeee) oppps..sorry i gotta stop listening to those 70's hits |
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STOP STAREING..i am doing my celebratory dance right now ..and i feel a lil self conscious if your watching and not blinking... (suddenly, Ken is hit with the fear that you have fallen asleep, OMG..i am gonna have to work on those dance moves) |
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Okay..something is amiss. I think i went sleep walking last night...i had too. I lost my pj's somewhere....and woke up this morning with a couple of twigs between my toes. Not that I wanna throw my *Save A Tree, Build Your House Outta Plastic* membership into the garbage, but i think i really need to cut back on the level of involvment with social causes for a bit. The other cause of the month, is, "Save a Lettuce, Eat a vegitarian" lol..yes...( SEDUCTIVE GRIN) YESSS..thats my favorite... well..sorta...This is my warm up rant/rave/speil/spew or (insert here, any other word you have for nonpurposeiful chatting). Okay, i have to do something productive this morning in an attempt to ward of the nervousness of waiting for that engineering call. |
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once again..throwing all restraint to the wind, i AM gonna double post again...all in the same day, so FINE, Call the Blogger police...Damn them too. *puffin chest out in a strong show of alphamaleism tempered with a lil geekiness..* NOW thats something ya aint seen before! lol...opps..sorry...I almost broke the cam out just to capture that moment... Sitting here patiently for the engineering company to call me and tell me the great news that I have the job of my dreams...that I am going to be back into engineering, ..that I am the missing link for thier company..that I...opps..wait ..wait WAIT... being called a missing link BEFORE you even start might not be a good thing....I mean...*gulp*..if they happen to notice a resemblance to Pro Magna Man and me...omg..this could get bad, hell, they might even notice the hairy knuckles..and the way they ALMOST drag on the ground when i walk..... ohhh great..they may even do a complete personality test and find out I really do have a thing for pulling hair....slapping some skin....(this is sending me down the depths of depression)..sorta... I mean..really, being a missing link type...hell, I only worry bout food, fire, and making sure my fred flintstone costume is ironed and starched. How STRESSFUL is that?...then again, ever try ironing with a stone thats been left out in the sun as its source of heat?????? NO FUN... and I swear...if i have to go hunting or fishing for food again.. i better do better than the seven eleven..those clerks just think i am a typical american male who cant speak arabic....*though, in close review, one would find the spitting noises of arabic, very similiar to the spitting noises of a neanderthal man who just realized...when eating your favorite catch of the day (not your typical menu item), well..when eating it...you always regret not removing the hair...(but that skinning and clean stuff..thats sooooo vogue...whats a lil hair in your mouth when your enjoying the meal??)...omg...I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THE FIRST RECORDED ORAL SEX MOMENT... oppps...dont read that..then again, you can, cause I am not sure I want my name on a historical exhibit..like; KEN ate here!...and having a blow up doll with a provocative pose...sheeesh..i think this is gonna be close to a record for the longest sentence without a period....(SEE HEADING: Post Menapusal Sentences; longest.) okay..my fingers are glad they did their laps around the keyboard and now, I only have to spend a lil quality time with the letter z....*they do get jealous ya know).... soooo...to everyong..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
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okay..someone pull the rudder up..this plane is gonna crash! |
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and now..with the latest word on my ever changing career path...*I am sure your gonna sleep well knowing that i am going to be using my engineering skills coupled with my construction background to advance in the wonderful world of envelope testing...for those that dont know what it is...put it this way, I am not licking glue...just wanna clarify that. However, its a totally cool job and one that doesnt require as much travel....sorta..lol
Lets see..another thing..ummm...One of my twin girls took second in the local spelling bee, and is entered into the regionals...the other, one first place in creative thinking...*wonder where she got that?*...and last but not least... my son is the sweetest kid ....the other day he decided that the ole man that lives down the road just needs to have someone check up on him....NOW thats something! Kuddos to the kiddos |
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another rant..but first...a word from our sponsor: this is for my friend TexasCutie...
(yes, its a reprint of something i wrote earlier, BUT that doesnt count against my daily font count allowable under law  )
May the heart who is willing, be vindicated by the rewards that will come. May YOUR reward, come in the next year. May that love that finds you, be so great, that it acts as a salve over your wounds that you suffer now, to the point, where the pain is gone, and is replaced with the greatest of joys. AMEN Another day is upon us...and umm..dont you hate it when reality just invades our life?...lol, I think i am taking the kids camping this weekend, or, I am meeting someone for a date, or I am going to have to conduct business, OR...combination of all three.... *Sorry, mathematics was never my strong suit otherwise i would go in to some spiel about how if x + y+w= xyw, or...xy+w=(xy)+W or...omg...this could go on for awhile...and after typing all this...i still wouldnt know exactly what i was doing this weekend.!!! Who says men cant multitask?? oppps...sorry guys, I am just strengthening that argument...
(sorry, had to take a quick break to get dressed for a meeting)..and i didnt think asking yall to turn your heads would really work...so.
I hope everyone is remembering their New Years Resolutions......and as soon as i remember mine, i will share them. Until that time, yes, I am still doing whatever it was that i said i would quit, though its not really breaking the resolution due to my inability to remember, so thats sorta like a Mulligan on a golf course....opps..wait...the only thing i have ever done on a golf course is (this portion edited due to adult content)...NOW, let yer dirty lil minds figure THAT one out. No, It didnt have anything to do with some bizarre fantasy bout 18 holes....sheeeshh...
VIVA La Ropes!!! Viva Da Bondage!
Remember...when all is said an done......
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lsorry...i cant remember what i was gonna say..but the suspense is killing me here.......
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chit..i give up...oppps..wait..i gave up ...way up there...*pointing to the above entry*, now, i am just trying to find the change that fell outta my pockets...
lol..have a good dayl
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okay..i MAY be violating the sacred double posting in a journal, on the same day rule...but..so be it...take away my sharpened pencil..take away my parchment paper....GRRR..i hate it when modern technology takes away classical lines..for some reason..."Take away my IBM compatible keyboard....TAKE away my NEC 19 inch color monitor with mulitsync technology"..just doesnt have the same ring... ohhh OPPS: YES, your absolutely correct..i got the 19 inch monitor cause i thought it would make me look bigger....(pervs, get your mind outta the gutter)..... okay...i dont know who just did that...but is there really any reason to send me an email titled; To the one whos overusing the free fonts. (thats soooooo crass)
Okay..on to tonights ramblings....short stroll that it is, i will get right into it.....Texan Cutie, sorry your heart is hurting....your a doll, and i will reprint my prayer for you.....oppps..cant cut an paste and i dont want the *Save the Font Committee to come after me for deleting all this...oppps...
Now, on to someone else...no, this isnt where i get vague...I have had the opportunity to speak to several here and I can say...without a doubt...you girls are wonderful and have a way of making any guy feel like he is on top of the world! Thank you for laughing when i am in the chat room....nothing like laughing to a comics ear....To anyone ...in any way shape or form who may or may not have felt included, left out, hurt, offended, in any way...my apoligies..(Trying to cover all the legal jumbo mumbo is best to attorneys) |
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another day passes, YESSSSSSSSSS i made it! opps..i guess breathing really isnt such big deal that it deserves so many "s"....but hey..being the classic dyslexic overachiever,...oppps..wait..that would make me an underachiever then wouldnt it? chit, sometimes being confusing to ones self is just as confusing as being confusing to other people. *I wrote that and I really dont understand it either, so dont feel bad*... ohh, on to my point...holy double surprises batman!.i have a point? yes, i have a point. For those that actually made it to this point, may I remind you, theres not gaurantee that tomorrow will come. Before you close your eyes tonight, make sure theres no ill will in your heart. Tomorrow should start out fresh! |
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okay...Is it just me...or is it easy to get caught up with the attention one can recieve here, and lose sight of the goal? Does anyone else have the problem of trying to figure out, does the feelings of ephoria you get from meeting someone new, ...is that because of the experience you have with them. or is it because of them?...or sometimes..maybe even in spite of them? Does anyone else consider it totally impractical, almost arrogant to think that there is just ONE person out there who floats your boat....considering there are several billion people on this planet? Logically one could assume that there would be at least two people in that number of people who would have basically the same personality..same chrisma..same style... and yet, if we think thats true, does that deminish the aspects of us truely being unique individuals, or shall we just simply fall back on the ole adage ..*the experience makes the person?* Dont you love it when someone says..*I want someone with a purpose, then you tell them, and they run?...Does anyone else find the thought emailing back in forth probably less efficient than smoke signals?..oppps...burn ban going on here in Texas..so i guess thats almost like a mute button? I consider myself typically in touch with my thoughts and emotions, but anyone here have to tell one of thier kids that the other parent is suffering from a terminal illness, and then realize you are just as hopeless in it as the kid your telling?.....I should never have started this entry, but its here now and i refuse to waste the fonts |
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okay..at this rate...my therapist will need a therapist.....ohh chit..i dont have a therapist. nm, dont read that. Has anyone else ever had one of those days..where...well..you go outside to grab a smoke with your coffee....and you get the two confused?...(take my word for this....inhaleing freshly brewed coffee really isnt as bad as one might think, if your aquaman...as a human however, i highly discourage this. ohh, i forgot, swallowing a lit cigerette isnt fun either..so dont try that as well.) okay..back to our regularly scheduled programming....I recently found out the joys of playing in a semi pro poker match. OOHHH CHIT was it cool, of course, the fact that i kept getting everyone to fold for the first 20 something hands was a real confidence booster. Only later, when i bet it all, did i realize...those flushes i had been betting on....well, umm..werent flushes, its the red going out on my monitor again..makes everything sorta look like black and white...*sigh*..and i thought i was on a roll...
In todays other developments..*putting on my deepest dom voice* omg...i sorta sound like a seasame street character under water when i do that....no wonder the subs all laugh....chit, i am really REALLY blowing the Dom image now.....how bouts we all forget this and come back tomorrow? |
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okay..due to the great joy of working on important projects this weekend..i am having a slow morning...ya know..its amazing when you realize...staying in your nightclothes, at 8 am isnt really that bad..i think work places would be alot happier on Monday mornings if they were to make that manditory.....*just come on in your pj's!* |
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lol..sometimes..i am so undom like..i probably need to slap myself just to get me to think normal....ohhh well... HOPE everyone is having a good night |
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posting this because???..ummm...someone once said this was a theraputic release, I am finding out that it merely creates finger cramps.....WHATS wrong with this picture? lol.. Today was to be a day where I was going to meet an incredible lady that I met on here......instead, today is a day where I have run into a low, rather than a high. My work is invading my private life and its rather irratating, and to think that she was looking forward to the meeting as well, only adds to the misery of the moment. Sure, we could meet another time, and my desire is to do so, but it will be weeks before either one of us is free........my inability to be patient is showing, ....i guess thats what happens when your looking forward to something as much as I was. Okay...do i feel better for writing this?..lol....NOPE, I still miss her and the possibilities that come from the thought of meeting her! |
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okay....this is it...my intentions are to crawl out on that limb with another, Is there a tree specialist out there who can tell me just how much a branch can hold?....(insurance people are so picky bout getting all the details before they issue coverages)....lol.opps....wait, JUST for the record...neither her nor I are heavy..*thinking, if she reads that, she may just stop being the submissive one and slap me*......For all those interested ..i am chroniclizing my progression in a new book titled....*One Hundred Ways To Be Dominating, While Having A Sense Of Humor*...its in the oxymoron section of the blogs..... |
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okay..in the name of starting out the new year in complete honesty, i came to realization.... horniness is directly related to the ability to find someone with whom such things can be handled..lol GAWWD..if i get one more email from someone living on antera island, Argentina, saying..*I really want you*...ummm ummm....anyone got a row boat i can borrow for a year or two? |
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OMG...EVERYONE....do you hear that?...ITS THE SOUND OF SILENCE! LOL..the holidays are over!!! ....* I was seriously hopeing not to have join in one more chorus of *12 days of christmas*.......NOT being of humbug spirit, yet...lol..PLEASSSSSSSSSSE no more! *though i really did love some of the more innovative advertising campaigns....lol.oppps..THATS not a sign of boredom....and neither is writing in this thing, I would keep a blog, but being of a writers mind, that would require remembering where the hell i keep the thing at,,,and sorry..I AM NOT ADDING anymore to my already clogged memory system..lol.... have a great day everyone! |
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just thought you might get some humor outta this..
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
>fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
>fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must
>be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids'
>stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.
>
>One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses
>and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell
>those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore. If
>you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only
>confuse yourself.
>
>I was there an hour saying things like,"What does this do?
>You're kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the
>inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated
>doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I
>could use the car pool lane during rush hour.
>
>Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many
>different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the
>box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I
>settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price
>scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.
>
>On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise
>came to life.
>
>My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee
>morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the
>dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I ate the
>cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray.
>I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.
>
>The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his
>house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left
>the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away,then come back
>and bark some more.
>
>We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the
>rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the
>traditional Christmas dinner.
>
>My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door.
>"What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained,
>"It's a doll."
>"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had
>several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.
>"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.
>"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said,to steer her into
>the dining room.
>But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"
>
>Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and
>no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on
>Granny, hang on!"
>
>My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up
>to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?"
>I told him she was Jay's friend.
>
>A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to
>Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that
>we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.
>
>The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had
>died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise
>made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning.
>Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, an
>fell in a heap in front of the sofa.
>
>The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and
>Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began
>administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back
>over his chair and wet his pants.
>
>Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in
>the car.
>
>It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.
>
>Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to
>decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise
>had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
>
>Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored
>her to perfect health |
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INCREDIBLE!!! One complete New Years Celebration; no spills, no messes, nothing broken and last but not least....(this portion edited due to adult content) lol..yes..gonna leave ya wondering.... I hope everyone elses was as good as mine!! |
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My prayer for the new year..................
May the heart who is willing, be vindicated
> by the rewards that will come. May YOUR reward,
> come in the next year. May that love that finds
> you, be so great, that it acts as a salve over
> your wounds that you suffer now, to the point,
> where the pain is gone, and is replaced with the
> greatest of joys. AMEN. |
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okay...back to being serious...sorta. Omg, I hate that word in the wrong context.... This year is going to be so different from last year. I never really could come to terms with my sexuality; How can one love someone on one hand, and yet, enjoy the exchange that takes place when someone is will to be submissive, then, to take THAT a step further, how does one justify the delight that comes from the physical side of a dom/sub relationship. To the untrained eye, it may seem a contridictions of sorts and if your like me, you spend years wrestling with these emotions/thoughts. Many times wanting to venture out, but yet not doing so because to do so, is to risk judgement or rejection, but after 20 years, you also realize that you can only deny what exists for so long. Then what? go celibate and join the preisthood?..or, worse dont go celibate and find yourself constantly wondering??? Hence, this past year..I jumped off the edge of *normal*..and the landing has been.................................................. nothing short of incredible!!!! ...okay.i am about to venture into rambling... |
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the years almost out!!! I have experieneced my first online love, found myself anxuously awaiting the next Pirates of the Carribean sequel, and looking forward to catching the Who reunion tour. I have a hope that my career path finds its way back to writing or engineering and last but not least....I Hope everyone here has a great one as well!!! |
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ohhhh..i forgot..*which happens alot*, umm. HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR! |
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Okay...the holidays were a success, I measure this in three different ways...1) My kids had a wonderful time, and DIDNT forget that its not all about the gifts... 2) I am ending the year with not ONE bad experience in regards to my friends, loves, or family.....and last but not least...3) I still have a pulse.!!! lol..okay, so maybe the last one is really setting a low goal..but hey....aim low,..land high..ya never get disappointed!! lol (And who says underachievers never have a sense of humor??)
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well, everyone...xmas day is almost upon us and as I sit here, I wonder, how many of us have had the opportunity to really meet that special one who makes our world rock, thats always an interesting thought, but the flip side is, how many of us have been willing to live for it, to step out and say, failure or success, we try! May your next year be filled with success and May the sun shine on your face, the wind be at your back, and smile in your heart!!!! |
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