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I want to disappear.

I want to be gone.

I want you to empty me, and then fuck whatever’s left.

Calmly, carefully… not like a barrage of fists, which I more so enjoy in an attack simulation.

If I am lying in your bed, and I know what’s coming, move slowly.

You should know a little about the process of pain.

The act of sexual violence is a kind of drug, whether predator or prey.

The preferred dosage is always subjective.

So say you begin with a fistful of hair, coerce me into position, and smack me across the face.

You are not only turning me on, you are releasing chemicals into my body.

Maybe you smack me again, and again, and again.

The endorphins and adrenaline are building up inside me. My pain tolerance is building up, and it’s time to turn it up.

Maybe you throw a punch at me, or carve my flesh, or deprive me of air, etc, etc.

You gradually increase and decrease my pain and my level of awareness at your will.

The opposite of that would be we are sitting together, perhaps watching a movie, and you just sink your teeth into my neck. I might find that annoying.

In the process of you hurting me and fucking me, I would welcome such an attack.

The goal is to render me defenseless, limp, useless, and practically dead.

You can allow me to struggle, but in the end you completely annihilate me.

Show me your control.

You may want me awake and consensual. You may want a fight.

Then again, you might enjoy my inability to move, function, or process anything beyond what is happening.

You can take me any way you want me at your will.

I think you might learn to like it. It is very empowering, knowing you are god in this place.

My life is in your hands.

Keep fucking me.

I am not going to pass out.

My eyes glaze over, my pupils dilate, and I completely surrender.

Quite literally, I become your doll.

I want you to enjoy this.

There is more. There is always more. I always want more.

Let’s just let this sink in.