Definition of a relationship

Whether vanilla or dom/sub, a relationship is a relationship. The goal of both partners that agree to live in a relationship should be to make each other happy. If you don't share this definition and you don't care about your male partner's happiness, you are not the woman I want to spend my life with.

In my view, the only difference between a traditional relationship and female-led dom/sub relationship is the fact that the woman is in full control and makes the rules. Does this mean that the sub can't ask his dominant for a favor? No. Does this mean that the dominant cannot give in to her partner's wishes? No. It just means that the male partner has to stick to his dominant's rules (e.g. he has to ask for permission) and if the answer is no, the answer is no.
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It's like he was reading my mind, not many submissives understand that kind of dynamic but it really is the healthiest one I could come up with. Ignoring the sub as a human being isn't inductive to long relationships.
D/s is the baseline always.

I never saw my desires as dark or bad or evil, maybe I am an exception...
I just don’t understand the need of others to explain and define and run around what they realy want.
I think we would all be happier if we just admitted to ourselves what we really wanted instead of trying to manipulate others into giving us what we want.
If you just want to play, then say so. If you want more then don't compromise.
Life is short stop wasting everyone’s time.

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors, and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings...

Where will the journey behind your tears take us? I dare you to fly beyond the point of your breaking....

So I noticed that some people on the site have very nice profiles...too bad the profiles are stolen from some where and do not reflect the person advertising. What's the point of that?

Does lying really get you any where with someone real?

No married men. How often do I have to repeat that?

What is wrong with people these days? Who could possible think I am fake? I have never ever had that problem...isn't this the purpose of having a well written profile?

I always felt it was easy to tell the difference between the fakes and real ones.

Personally I do not feel I need to prove anything to anyone.

The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility..

If the message you  have sent the first time did not work, consider changing the style and sending another one. Do not try the same failed message over and over again. What did not work the first time, will not work the next time.

This is not as much as being lucky as it is about preparing and thinking things through to give a good first impression.

I have to admit that sometimes I come on line here when I'm bored and know that there are tens of people who will entertain me with ridiculous messages. 

Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it is just frustrating.

الحب مغامره نجترحها لأننا نستحقه.

I feel truly privileged to be in a position where people trust me with their most vulnerable selves.

A word to the wise? Do not despair , there is someone out there for you.

No one is so unique in this world that he or she does not have a match. Someone who sees the world the same way you do and is waiting for you to complete them..

Don't despair.

لا تحزن.. هي ما جاءت لتبقى ، بل لتشعرك بفداحة رحيلها .
ماذا تستطيع أن تفعل ضد امرأة ، تذهب إلى الحب بعدّة ساحر ، تبتكر من أجلك فنوناً خداعية ، تمارس أمامك قلب الأشياء ، إخفاء بعضها ، استحضار أخرى ، وتحويل كل ما هو حولك إلى وهم كبير. تضعك في صندوق زجاجي ، وتشطرك في استعراض سحري إلى اثنين ، واحد هو أنت ، والآخر نسخة من رجل آخر. ثم تعيد إلصاق جزءيك في كتاب .
ساحرة ، لا تدري أخرجت من بين يديها ثريَّا أم فقيراً ؟ سعيداً أم تعيساً ؟ أتراك أنت أم غيرك ؟ أخرجت من قبعة خدعتها حمامة بيضاء.. أرنباً مذعوراً.. أم مناديل ملوَّنة للدموع ؟

أحلام مستغنامي

It's my birthday :)

time flys indeed...hope I get some nice flowers.

You made your choice by getting married, please, do not try to enforce that choice on me. If I can wait, you should have too.

In the end we all just have to deal with the consequence of our choices. No more, no less.

Any man who thinks it possible that I would accept being on the sideline of his marriage and his life is frankly delusional.

لم أعرف الموت إلا معك

نظرت إليك و عرفت

أنك لا تراتي

عيناك الزرقاوان حلم

في خيالي

و موتي أكيد كإشراقة ضحكتك الؤلؤيه

كم يغمرني الموت بأفكاره!

تجعلني أنت

أبتسم و أختال إليه

لم أكن أبحث عندما وجدتك

إنها الصدفه فقط!

ليس ذنبي إني عرقلت موتك

و صرت كفنا جديدا

إنها الصدفه فقط!

رقصت جميع العاهرات في عينيك!

فلا تلمني

إنها الصدفه فقط!

حتى قلمي ضل يضحك

و يقول إنها حقا

الصدفه فقط!

بعد أن نتحرر من خوفنا نصير نتسائل كيف لنا أن نتحرر من مخاوف الآخرين!؟

يدمن الناس خوفهم و يختبؤن تحت دثاره, تاركين له السيطرة على ما بقي لهم من وقت, و لن أقول حياه,لأن لا حياة لمن يختبء خلف خوفه.

أخاف من البوح,من الموت, من اللقاء وحتى من الغياب,من صدق يدمرني! يغير أهوائي, يحبني حتى الخرافه ثم يبتعثني مسخا جديدا,

أخاف من خوفك أنت! أن لا تجرؤ معي فأموت وحدي!

ياللوحدة التي يخافها الجميع فيتكالبون في معية أقسى من أي وحدة عرفتها!

و ياليتهم يدركون وحدة الخوف في هذا الخوف من الوحدة.

إرفض كل يوم صامت

يحركك مكرها على الرحيل

لا تستقيل

لن تهرب من موتك

و أن إغتالك خوف

فجأة ذات ليل

لابأس

فأنا إئتمنتك

و أنا أمتنعتك!

فلا تصر متمنعا

كأمرأة إرتدت حجابها

إمعانا في إغراء الشياطين!

معك...عرفت كيف يصبح الرجل وطنا...

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

~ Maya Angelou

Enjoyed no sooner but despised straight;

Mad in possession so;

Had, having and in quest to have, extreme;

A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;

Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.

All this the world well knows; yet none

knows well

To shun the heaven that leads men to

this hell

sonnet 129

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."
- Jim Morrison

جلست فوق سحابه
ملئني صمت
أذابني نور
جلست أراقب يوسف
تراوده نفسه عن نفسه

و أنت
هل راودتك نفسك عن نفسك؟
بين سياط محبتي و خضوع إشتياقك
بين وصل السهل الممتنع من أجسادنا
من خوف أرواحنا
بين موتك و إنبعاثك على حلمة ثديِ
بين أمك و زوجك و أقدام قسوتي

What are the “ties that bind” we seem to take so much for granted? We move along in the lifestyle in such a way that accepts everything and nothing all in the same time. We do have become the other vanillas, we take things as they are and do not challenge them. It is difficult enough being kinky, you want to me to think on top of it too? That’s really too much to ask Miss Bee! Really!
Some speak about spirituality in the lifestyle, they speak about other spaces and mythical times. They speak of internalizing and symbols. They speak about a lot of things. Very rarely if ever, does anyone speak about love.
Yes, love, that forgotten currency. Some how our lifestyle has become a dump of human sexuality bereft of the warmth that makes us human. Meet, great and beat, that is what we celebrate and endorse. It is fair to say that it is our way, this is how we do it, but it should also be mentioned that it needs not be the only way. Our physical needs ideally, should not, over take the need for fulfillment on other, deeper levels. Companionship, humor and even sympathy should not take a second place to our overwhelming desires for the physical. They say that D/s relationships don’t last. Well, of course they don’t, no physically and mentally regulated relationship can survive with a level of sanity; based largely on one aspect of each partner they find compatible.
I remember reading on a blog and then later in a book by the same author, about how sexuality seems to be the focus on first “dates” or perhaps more aptly named “meets” within the lifestyle. No one would dream of discussing such topics with someone they just met, but some how, since we are lifestylers, the rules of decency and normalcy don’t seem to apply.
The definitions of intimacy and sexuality are very difficult to put to word within what we do. Is play always sexual? Is it always intimate? I tend to say that it is not always straight forward sexual because it can often scratch an itch that the straight forward act would never be able to do. I tend to think it is always intimate because it is a very deep personal expression of who we are. Labels tend not to go very well with us in this part of the spectrum and yet we have dominant tendencies just like the rest of it. The old guard perhaps was the place where the dominant approach we currently see was set; glorified impersonal and casual play over the normalcy of human relationships within a BDSM dynamic.
It is also very often difficult for us, the dominants, especially female ones to admit that we have needs that extend beyond service and beatings. We also in general tend to be so jaded and surrendered in our souls to truly seek out a connection. What happens when everything within a lifestyle relationship clicks? What happens when love is mutual?
I once asked an Italian Master what he felt for his slave girl, he told me it’s a kind of “pity” mixed with some attachment. I wonder how many of us come onboard thinking of love. I cannot judge, but from what I see out there, most men deal with this as an itch to be scratched once in a while or a something to experience when they have had too much of the regular thing to make it boring. Let me have a little fun with this kinky slut then go home to my wife and kids. I wonder what kind of women dominant men meet out there; it would be interesting to compare notes. I would also like to know, how men reconcile the submissive woman need to settle and become a family.
Dominant women also fall into the trap of male defined roles within the lifestyle. It is very sad to see. I do not know why the strap-on has become such a symbol of power for us. Why do we, in our most powerful situation end up glorifying the penis? I cannot wrap my head around it. This is just a small example.
I like to think that we are over all not very unique, we as humans that is. We tend to fall into behaviors and patterns that are common. Vanilla dating and relationships are not so far off from our way of doing things as we would like to think, perhaps we could build on the collective wisdom instead of dismissing it. Perhaps we could make it better and feed it back to them unawares. I know, I’ve always been a dreamer.

Is there a tie stronger than the loving adoration you have for your owner? Is there a bond stronger than that connecting you to the challenge of control in your submissive? Is there a stronger love than the sense of belonging at Her feet? What can fill the void in Your soul like the prayers of adoration in his looking up to you from where he sits?


A tie that binds? It is a tie that infuses the two wandering parts into a new whole. She makes you to break you, and then remodels you into Her own. That is a tie that binds: an imprint on your soul, a mark to carry with you into the tempest, your compass through the night.
That is a tie that binds.

من كنت عندما أحببتني و من أصبحت الآن؟

I wonder if it will be different this time....not holding my breath.

IDIOTS CHECK LIST:

Are you used to paying for this?
Do you pray?
Are you religious?
Did you not decide that this lifestyle is for you 100%?
Do you think this is weird or strange?
If you answer yes to any of the  above then please do not bother me.


I've no intention to help anyone experiment nor of walking you through your internal conflicts. Accept yourself, know who you are and what you want.
I'm a grown up adult, you need to be one also.
I'm looking for someone to be with me, a partner, a man, someone who will treat me right not just try to use me.
Respect me, so I can respect you.

Drama Queens, step away from my profile!

Lebanese? you need not apply.

“Step One to pleasing your Mistress

SHUT UP.

That’s it. Shut up. Listen. Do what She says.”



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lil post I saw, made me laugh, it's all as complicated or as simple as you make it!

Come into service, break free.