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| They say there are lots of good masochists but few good sadists. True or not, unusual sexual fantasies are important yet under-developed parts of our personality. Often they do not seem to connect so well with the rest of our identity. That is why they can be exciting and also puzzling.
I am interested in how people want security but also want a way of life which continually tests them, sometimes painfully. D/s people represent the other side of the comfortable modern life--which can be unfulfilling--so they operate as a kind of balance. Some males have taken the fascist route of male supremacy, even misogyny, at this site. Some women have taken the route of seeing themselves through the gaze of the male brute, a thing to be used at this site. But both these routes extinguish personal development rather than add to it.
At this site many profiles by "submissive" women scold men for being (a) not who they say they are, (b) submissives in disguise , (c) totally rude. Although I agree in principle, the profiles I actually read go into detail about D/s experience, whether straight or lesbian or bi. Real-life narrative is best but fantasies are also vital because fantasy is a part of sexual "perversion" (quotes here of course). Autobiographical experience is way more attractive than lists of what the ideal partner should be or preaching from a soapbox. This is where sexual relationships become either possible or impossible. Women I have "dominated" have never so far been people I could really talk with, and yet...yet...that was part of the attraction. We remained intimate strangers and that was what was wanted. For a man dominance is about the eroticism of power, very different from brutality. Each partner in dominance/submission needs the other to discover energy and liberation.
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