HOLY SHIT! I´m back!

Well... I got some things I have to report to my loyal minions (The Onion People of Cha Cha Chaaa. Put your hands in the air if you are a fucking Onion).

Things have been hectic lately. The weather has been shit. Pipes are bursting left and right up in this ridiculous dump of a house. I am about to go Godiva up in this shit and charge down the street wearing nothing put the stripped drywall from the basement.

BUT!

God takes a bit, leaves a bit.. And somehow it all evens out.

Seemingly, when the Powers That Be want to make my life a living hell, after their entertainment wears thin at my distress, they toss a hot piece of ass my way and I forgive them and keep putting those bills in the collection plates.

My most recent gift was this... Amazing... I mean, you could SCULPT this ass. You could eat off of this ass. You could make furniture from this ass.

I followed that piece of ass up and down the aisles of Home-freaking-Depot until my  overactive saliva glands took a hint and shut the fuck up (you can´t speak to the boys through a waterfall)... I hadn´t even seen his face! Just that AMAZING ass through his black denims... Everything else was insignificant, the world didn´t matter. Nor did I seem to mind that I mindlessly threw things in my cart as I went and ended up buying half the ceramic tiles they had in stock.

WTF? Ceramic tiles? I don´t need fu... Nevermind.

Perhaps I can construct some sort of ceramic fortress/throne for that piece of ass.

Anyway..

When the ass-with-legs finally turned about, I understood the meaning of Quid-Pro-Quo.... He was no beauty queen... Not like his ass, anyway. His nose was a bit too big, but contrasted nicely on his sharp features and pale skin... Not too bad looking, but definitely not too good.

Worse comes to worse, I will make him wear a paper bag, in the mean time I will pretend he is Irish and lower my standards so I can TAP THAT ALL THE WAY HOME.

High-lows, High-low, she´s off to tap a ho, do doo do doo, do da doo do doo, high-lows, high-lows.

~Lynch~

 

Have YOU accepted Xenu as your Lord and Savior yet?

 

 

So!

In my last post, I revealed to you that I am indeed a Dominant Masochist.

Well, Last night, at the hands of three blond teen angels, I suffered OH so good.

Well, returning to the office to finish up some paper work.. I had accidentally left my car in the wrong place.. Or hell, I don´t even think  it was in the wrong place. I just think I was overlapping and the cop was in a bad mood. Anyway..

I was booted an got a ticket, and after a brief while sitting in the office finishing my coffee, I decided to hit up the liquor store for some whiskey before calling a Taxi.

After buying my item and standing outside patiently waiting, I noticed a house party happening in the nearby trailer park - The one they were bulldozing down and replacing with a hotel of some sort.

There were drunk teens stumbling through the snow in the front yard of this fairly disgusting home. Girls were passed out on the porch, rap music was blaring out of everywhere.

I saw three young men approach me.

One was short and had a bit of cushion, with wide green eyes and a cute little nose, the next had a fairly average face, but an amazing looking body. Soft curves and muscles, well taken care of hands, and mile long legs. The last was dressed like a punky rapper, tight jeans, a checkered belt and a sideways oversized baseball hat, but his soft face and pucker lips shone threw his clothing decisions.

All three had messy blond hair, the punk, Paul, had long dreadlocks tied to the side of his head.

The short one, Chris, asked me if I had a lighter, putting the 150mm menthol in between his thin lips when I pulled out my zippo, sucking in near-seductively as I held the flame close.

The Tall boy, Richard, spoke up, asking if  I wanted to come over to the house party their friend was hosting. Weighing in my head my options:

1) Go home, get drunk by myself, fail my test, finish the portfolio close in the nick of time, and then dispute my ticket before retrieving my car from the lot.

OR:

2) Go to this other persons house, get drunk with three sexy young men, and see where it goes.

Hm. No contest. Strange.

I followed them back to the long mobile home. Setting the whiskey down on the coffee table in the opening of the home, I had to navigate through several bodies, drunk and strewn through the halls and rooms.

Paul encouraged me to try a drink-off with the other boys, and I accepted, shooting several lines of tequila before my reality was severely altered.

I began to get the sweats and removed my long winter trench coat, slinging it over the near by chair, stretching out. The boys leaned onto me and asked me what each one of my tattoos meant, trailing their hands up and down my arms and belly.

I heard the familiar sounds of sex screaming from the nearby bedroom.

Chris laughed and shot his last bit of drink before declaring ¨Now I am all horny¨.

¨Well maybe you boys should make out, eh?¨

I smiled, stretching back on the couch as Richard and Chris leaned into my chest, one from the  left, one from the right. Tongues touching and lips dancing, as Paul rubbed his hand in my hair.

¨You guys wanna go somewhere?¨

Paul stood up and motioned for all of us to get up and follow.

As we passed down the hallway, I saw the couple who was sexually enjoying themselves, and I noticed several floggers on the wall, most likely only for decoration.

¨Those are cool, right?¨ Chris saw them too.

¨Wanna take ´em?!¨ Rich ran right past the intimate couple and grabbed the two large wooden pieces from the wall, laughing as the girl started to yell at him and toss a pillow in his direction.

¨Oooo, I like being kinky!¨ Paul laughed and took one, ¨What about you, Lynch?¨ He smiled, whacking the Flogger against his palm.

Chris fell against the wall, ¨She is bigger then you, you know, she could give me a spanking!¨

I smiled when Rich began to speak again, ¨Hey hey, you are a pussy! You would totally cry!¨

¨No I wouldn't! Lynch would!¨

Rich walked to me, ¨Would you?¨

¨Would I what?¨ I slurred, trying to bring myself back to a semi-concious state.

¨Would you cry if I gave you a lil´ spankin´!¨ He held the flogger up.

¨Mm, No I would quite enjoy it.¨ I smiled, plucking the flogger from his hands, and putting it softly against Paul´s full bottom, whose back was turned to me. ¨Ow!!¨

Richard picked up the collar of my suit shirt, ¨Come on..¨

He pulled me into the next room. Shooing out a group of boys who were enjoying some of the ¨white lady¨.

¨Ok... So....¨

I laughed, leaning down to put my hands on the bed, my back facing to him. ¨Go Crazy.¨

What started out as a bit of spanking lead to far more extreme ventures.

When the boys saw that I did not pain easily, I encouraged them to go a bit further.

Paul had my zippo under my fingernails, Chris got a steak knife from the kitchen and put it to good use on my back, basically hackin away at the delicate tissue. Richard found some rope and tied it to the end of the flogger, making the length and swing far more painful.

Staplers, Hot oil and tweezers, oh my!

FUCK it was a nice night.

 

That is right.

You read it.

I am also looking for Dominant Women to simply CHAT with, be friends. Hopefully I get a few responses from Dommes that are fun and quirky and down to earth and not high on their black-hair dye.

I see Dominance as being the willingness to stray from conformity.

Dominant women are fueled by so much more then freak-ego desires (such as with male dominance). How could they be? Society has repressed and oppressed women since the dawn of time. Dominant women and submissive men are the two outcasts that will forever be regarded as being somehow against nature´s ¨NATURAL ORDER¨ Meanwhile those who follow the so called order are submitting themselves to the demented idea of how life and gender ought to be perpetrated by some unknown person/force.

So, totally, I define my dominance not through leather or lipstick or any of that other ritualistic BDSM crap. I think of me being a Dominant Woman as me being ready to tell the world where to go before the world gives me permission to do so.

Unlike all of you stupid fuckers.



~Lynch~

NO. Did you hear me? No.

I refuse. What the hell is this friend thing?

I have like 90 requests in my box, and what the fuck man? The fuck is friend me?

Oh I see.. I SEE, This is like fuckin Myspace now.

You know what?

NO. I HATE MYSPACE.

FUCK OFF (See Below)

~Lynch

 

*Dictionary Corner!*

Fuck Off [Pronounciation- FUCK OFF]:

Definition:
Thanks so much, I appreciate the invitation, but I have checked my schedule, turns out, UNFORTUNATELY, that I am unavailable to adhered to your request. Thanks Again!

 

 

OKOKOKOK. Guiz, PICTARS are coming October 31 (or a tad before then).

So..

Stop fucking asking.

~Lynch~

 

 

*

Anything standing in our way, doesn't deserve to live We are void of human restraints taught to never forgive Answering the question of who we are is a must. We are anonymous, indeed. Therefore, Expect us.

*

 

LYNCH FAQ!!!

Ahh yes, here she is, the second version of the classic Lynch FAQ. Everything you need to know about me, Lynch, in a convenient-whore sized boxie.

***************

Q: What sort of things do you enjoy in BDSM?

A: I have no idea, I do not even like BDSM... Well the conventional stuff, that is. I think this whole idea of ¨lick my asshole and call me daddy¨ is totally retarded and should be left to the mentally ill.  However if I could sum up my likes in a few words:

BME Pain Olympics, straight up.


Q: Did you have a troubled childhood?

A: No. Wrrrooong. Booop. My Childhood was awesome. SO awesome that even now in my life I feel like I can be anything and anyone and I can do anything I set my mind and ass to. My mom is awesome, my dad is dead (I killed him), my dog kicks ass. We are a happy family.


Q: Do you have any STDs, or addictions, do you smoke or drink?

A: No STDs (yet), I have some heavy drug addictions but I have them under control, I do smoke and drink hard liquor heavily.

Q: What are your political/religious views:

A: I am of the extreme left on just about everything, I am pretty non-religious when it comes to those bullshit organized religions (damn you scientology). But I do appreciate ancients like Zen, Hinduism, Sikhism, Shinto, Jainism, etc...

Q: Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?

A: I hopefully will have a successful medical practice within the next 6. I am sort of a Jackie of all trades, I am a butcher, doctor, artist, spiritual adviser,  pimp and superhero.


Q: What do  you take in your drink?

A: Vodka-Fireball-Carbonated Water, ice cold, please.


Q: Do you have any piercings/Tattoos?

A: I expect within the next 3 years to be almost 25-30% covered in tattoos, and another 10% in piercings.


Q: What do you look for in a slave?

A: Clarity, motivation, and the body of a hot topic model (most importantly).


~Lynch!~

 

Damn You, Scientology, you may have won this time.

But I will return.

You are not true believers in the Intergalactic Convention, you are greedy capitalists who make our great leader XENU look like a joke.

But we, the Xenites, we shall bring order to thee.

Incase you have forgotten, the only reason you are here is because the great One dumped you for destruction, thus, you are mistakes by default.

We will win!

HAIL XENU!