I have came accross various experience relating to BDSM. At first i am scared, scared of other people's perspection.. scared if i were to be labelled as a pervert. But as time goes by, I can feel the urge to dominate someone fires deep inside me.. I can no longer hold it down, but there is always a problem.. is there any suitable partner for me?.. the one that are willing to submitt.. the one that are willing to accept my terms.

I want to quote from a submissive'e profile that really emphasise and also reflects the true meaning of my feelings and cravings:

"the difference between healthy D/s and unhealthy D/s is much like the definition of an addiction. If you want a drink and you enjoy a drink, then by all means... If you NEED a drink, then you are an alcoholic. I am writing this about the difference between enjoying and needing a thing. I would suggest that if you need D/s to be part of your self definition then you are likely in need of the ability to self generate worth. If on the other hand, you enjoy doing it, but could still feel normal if you weren't, then that is another thing... ...As with all addictions, it can lead to very self destructive behavior, like needing to have your blood drunk in order to feel complete, or needing that beating that is just a little more over the top, or needing whatever sort of more and more extreme play until we are talking about real dangers".


I am, as for now is more towards feeling the needs to enjoy and want BDSM as a way of life. I am sure that there will be obstacles here and there in excersicing BDSM in Malaysia. I want it to be as discreet as possible. I want to be part of it. a lifestyle that I crave for so long.