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 "Oh, to call you 'Sir.'" Hello. I am a natural submissive and am seeking to be completely owned. I turned 41 in mid-September, am not married, and have no children. I live in Los Angeles but could and would move just about anywhere for the opportunity to serve a male Dominant who is a decent person with good character and honor.
A little about me, since so many of you wrote to say that my profile was too scant (and all of this is in no particular order, by the way). I do not want children, which is a big part of why I have never been married. The other factor as to why I've never been married, of course, is that I am submissive to my core. Dominant Men are few and far between (TONS of people who pretend, however, in order to get kinky sex from women they assume must be easy lays). All too often, when a Dominant Man does happen along, a lot of times he wants kids (or more kids with me..::::shudder:::). I cannot stress this enough, that I do not want to make babies.
A bit of what I seek is a Man who knows what Dominance is and is not. I really am drawn to Men who are naturally Dominant, and don't have to try at it. It simply is who they are, and they can't help but to be that way, any more than they can help their eye color or height. I would like a Man who is strict but not brutal, who wants immediate obedience but doesn't mind a playful personality, and who will let a D/s or M/s situation unfold naturally. (Over and over Men seem to think I will instantly and completely obey. For example, I am not about to give out my address or last name to a Man I have known on the Internet for a week, no matter how intense our phone conversations may have been.) I also do best with one-on-one relationships, as my observance has been that poly situations just never do work out very well in the long-run. Besides, doesn't a relationship with ONE person have enough of a chance of failing? Why throw more variables into the mix and make the success of the relationship even less likely?
I am not religious. I believe "something" happens after death, but what that is, I don't profess to know. But I think the Bible is a book written by many many people over hundreds or even more years, and as with any story, as time progressed, the story changed. And besides, just because something is written in a book doesn't mean it is true or to be respected. There's a book I am recalling..something about a cow jumping over a moon. Are we to believe it true simply because it is in print?
Speaking of cows, I love animals, and cannot imagine my life without at least one critter around. There is nothing more pure than the love of an animal, and plus, I enjoy taking care of a critter. Right now, I have a cat. Some day I'd like to have more cats, and three big dogs, and a parrot or two, and an elephant, and a mini-monkey, and..Ok, Ok, I am just kidding. Obviously, this would be up to the Man but for now I am just saying I love animals and find them amazing and loving and sweet.
I need time alone to recharge. This doesn't mean I will never live with the Man I serve. It just means that I need some time every day to myself to recharge the batteries. It can be while cooking dinner or reading alone or going to a gym for a good workout. Alone time each day helps me rejuvenate.
I am more obedient than not, and am embarrassed by those so-called submissives who act out in order to get punishment. I believe a woman should obey the Man, and make it her focus to please him. If she makes mistakes, she should accept his discipline and his punishment, if it comes to that. And me, I am even thankful for the most hideous of punishments, because it means that he cares enough to help me become all the more of what it is he wants of me.
I work and am self-supporting right now, but that also would be up to his discretion. If he wants me to continue working, then work I shall. If he wants me to make his home and his life my focus, then I shall do that.
Some "deal-breakers" of mine: I am relatively healthy and health-conscious and would hope you are, too. I don't smoke, I don't use any illegal drugs (yes, not even pot). I do drink socially or have a bit of wine with a meal. I wear my seatbelt, even if I am driving just one block. (What good am I to a Man if I am lying in a hospital bed?) I try to get some exercise every day. So if you aren't relatively health-conscious, and if you smoke (even pot, or even just a cigarette or two a day), or if you drink tons of beer every night and think a bowl of Cheetos is a fine dinner, then we are probably not a match. By the way, I am a good cook, and know a LOT about nutrition. But by no means am I a skinny, fat-phobic, gym-addicted, celery-leaf-and-bean sprouts-munching, gaunt girl at all. (In fact, I'd love to lose weight and learn more about how to exercise my body in new challenges.) But I don't want a life where Bud in the can is always in the fridge, and a bowl of Cheetos is considered a meal is all I am saying. :)
I try to always be presentable. I am not a clothes whore, and I am not a slave to fashion. However, I try to always be clean, practice good hygeine, have on clean clothes and a bit of makeup and earrings. I would describe myself as pretty, feminine (not a frilly girl, tho, just not the jeans-boots-plaid shirt type!), and conservative in appearance. However, having said all that, I have also both gained and lost weight for past Men I have served, and have had my hair cut in a style he preferred. If you are the type of man who hocks a loogie in public, or has food-stained tee shirts as the mainstay of your wardrobe, or is not clean-cut, then we are probably not a match.
I am submissive to my core, as I stated earlier, and straight. I have NO interest in submissive males (come on, guys, give it up!), switching, or females. I am hard-wired as a straight female, so please don't write and tell me I "will" be bi. You may as well tell me I "will" be Chinese. I am what I am. So if you are submissive, or cuckold (what IS that, anyway?), or seeking a woman who will lick pussy, or seeking a slave to join your established M/s household, or female in any context, then we are not a match. [And in fact, I have set my mail filter to weed out male from men under age 38, all females, and all couples, and all submissive males. I do, however, occasionally check that folder, so if you are a female slave writing just to say hi, or ask a question, I will eventually get back to you. But anyone else, don't even count on me responding to your mail, as we're not a match.]
Some of my outside interests include, but are not limited to, cooking, reading, browsing the occasional fleamarket or garage sale, visiting museums, learning, going on drives for the day just to get away from it all, giving massages (yes, I am confident that I am good), backpacking, swimming in the ocean, listening to live jazz in a small club or listening to the LA Philharmonic at a fantastic evening at the Hollywood Bowl. I also dream of travelling to far away places - be it Thailand or Connecticut..lol. I would like to learn another language. I would like to learn to ski. Some day maybe I'd like to learn to belly dance.
Thank you for reading my profile, and if you believe we may be a match, please write soon.
Warm regards,
OH2CALLYOUSir
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Ugh! I HATE when people list "no children" as a limit! Well DUH! Like we're all pedophiles! Why the fuck do we have to mention "no children"? Shall we also mention "no bank robbery, no murdering, no car thieving, no knocking people over in their wheelchairs at Wal-Mart, no throwing donuts at passing policemen on the freeway," too? I mean, come on!! We're not pedophiles! Who the fuck came up with this rampant nonsense of mentioning "Oh, I don't want to fuck a kid." I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DRIVES ME INSANE.
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when i first joined this site, people thought i was a Dominant in Ohio, so i stopped using OH2CALLYOUSir and made the user name ohhhh2callyouSir. i wanted to make it more obvious that i was saying "ohhhh, to call you 'Sir'" and that the "oh" had nothing to do with Ohio. so i elongated the "oh" into "ohhhh" and lower cased it. (i didn't know, when i first joined, that Dominants traditionally cap their names on this site and submissives typically lower case their names. i had come from AOL where your user name is automatically upper-cased.) so there you go.
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Just updated my profile and now it seems to be gone. Anyone have any ideas of what might be going on? Thanks! |
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My mail on this site doesn't seem to be working properly. If you write to me, perhaps include an email address off this site. Thank you. |
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I was going through old conversations on Yahoo today and came across this conversation. I have explained this to many people over my time on here and I know some of you stillllllll don't get it, and some of you still occasionally drop by and read my journal, so I thought I'd add this entry of a conversation I had a long time ago with some guy who ultimately turned out to not be a match.
HIM: do you have a pic ???
me: again, no
HIM: that, i just dont understand.. why do you not have a pic at all..???
me: bec frankly, no man has seemed patient enough to get to know me. so why give him my pic so he can hound me if he likes my pic, and dismiss me if he doesnt? i'm more than a piece of meat.
HIM: yea.. you are..but the other side of the coin is, "other then friendship"... whats the purpose of getting to know someone, only to find out that you are not attracted to them.. and though, i guess one could always use more friends, i have trouble keeping up with the ones that live close...
me: well, all i mean is, a pic could be sent in a reasonable amount of time ..... i mean, if i send my pic and the guy likes the pic, he'll pursue when he might othrwise not ..... so i just wait to see if he has any interest in me based not on my appearance before i send a pic |
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I miss you, Mom. I would give ANYTHING to have you for just one more day. ANYTHING. I hope you are receiving this message, though of course I have no idea if you are or are not. But if you are, I want to say I am thankful to you and I miss you so very much.
Here come the holidays and once again I am flooded with memories of you. Not all the memories are nice ones, but so many are. And then, finally, we become bestest buds and you die three years later. It just isn't fair, and the whole in my heart isn't fair, either.
Just going into the shops and stores at this time of year is painful, you know? I miss you so much, Mom.
xoxox |
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***This ridiculous journal entry has been removed by its author.*** |
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I had something very important to do this morning. I got up on time but my computer refused to cooperate. My luck. |
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Today is Halloween. It was 90 degrees today. When I was a kid, quite a few years I remember Mom stuffing us into our costumes because she made us wear our long underwear under the costumes. We tromped through the snow, running up and down driveways as fast as our short little legs would carry us. It was fun, and I miss the easiness of life back then. I also miss having someone to make sure I would be warm enough as I go through my evening's adventures. Being alone here is tough. |
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i can just hear it now, "How convenient." But on my mother's urn, i swear my alarm clock is broken. "How convenient," He'll say.
my luck.....
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You know, i thought i was upset. But i feel oddly relieved. i wouldn't go so far as to say i feel happy, but i feel kind of like that situation with that Man has come to its inevitable conclusion.
Many Men have taken me along this path and then drop me like a hot rock when They find out some stupid little thing that They don't like about me - can be anything - and in this case it was that i wouldn't blindly and fully trust Him from almost the getgo. Seems Everyone seeks to be swept off their feet, to experience that in-the-movies type feeling, but that isnt real life. i'm tired of being taken 50 yards down the path is all, and it seems when the Man realizes i am just a regular person, and not going to sweep them off their feet, and the feeling of bliss like in the movies wears off, that it is then that He finds a reason - any reason - to drop communication. In this case, i was told, "you fail to trust me, you fail to trust me, you fail to trust me." Excuse me, but You're damned right i don't trust You! i don't KNOW You, You jackass! :::smoothing ruffled feathers:::
i want to be a total slave to a Man and it's hard just going 50 yards down the path a hundred zillion times, and not ever getting to 51 yards, nevermind the whole length of the path. But You should know i have my human limitations, and my needs to have trust develop OVER TIME, and if You expect me to be okay with no contact for four and five days at a time, well, i won't be okay with that. So if You are the kind of Man who has been "courting" me for the past two months (at a snail's pace), who expects total trust and expects me to not notice if You disappear for four days straight after almost daily contact, well, that isn't me. As i said, i have my HUMAN limitations, and knowing i am not emailing into a black hole is one of them, thank You.
i just wanted to tell Everyone this now, so as to save U/us both time. Giving someone an hour of typing at the computer each night, and thinking of Him all day, and then having Him dismiss me cuz i don't trust him just bites, frankly. It also seems pretty pathetically pussy-like. i mean, what MAN demands xyz and then offers a big fat zero? What MAN takes, takes, takes, and then when the slave calls him on His shit, takes his ball and refuses to play anymore and goes home. Big baby.
i deserve better, but it still bites. i tried really hard, and i did what i was told, and i did things for Him (no, not sexual, You perverts..hahaha) that i'd never done for anyone else, and still, i get dropped, just 50 yards down the path, because i don't trust Him, even though He disappears for four days straight. (Don't tell me You can't take 20 seconds and shoot off an email. i am not unintelligent. That's selfishness, regardless of how busy the work schedule became.)
So here i am, once again, just sick and tired of the users and players on this site. But i also have hope that Someone out there will realize i will be of use to Him, and that He comes and makes a claim on me soon.
Cuz being taken just 50 yards down the path is so very, very tiring.
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i have a broken heart. Please - just leave me be. i can't take this anymore. |
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::::shakes head::: Easy come, easy go. Whatever.
The question is, why do I keep hoping? Why? Do I love emotional distress? What the fugg??? I probably should sign up for head shrinkage and some sort of heavy pharmaceuticals to get myself straightened out.
I just can't believe I keep trusting people. I just can't believe it. What is wrong with me? Am I fugging retarded???
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Please, no one with anger issues, k? If you're not willing to allow me to call you within a reasonable amount of time, and not willing to tell me what state you live in (nevermind city) within a reasonable amount of time, and not willing to give me another way to contact you (say, an IM or alternate email address) within a reasonable amount of time, then just move on, k? I am a complete slave, but not a complete idiot. Once you secure my submission, I am yours, completely and without question. But in the beginning, I have to assure myself that you aren't married, a weirdo, hiding something, or unreasonably paranoid.
By the way, this post is in reference to no one in particular. I just have been reflecting on what is important to me, and what isn't otherwise included in my profile or prior jounal entries. And in that reflection, I found myself getting angry at being treated, so often on this site, as if I am a criminal to be feared, or like I am an idiot who doesn't have her own emotional needs and should just "Yes, Sir!" her way through the almost abusive emails.
I wish everyone well with their search. May it be a much less bumpy and tumultuous road than mine has been. Yes, poor me. I'm really feeling beaten up right now. |
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What I don't get is the huge number of female submissives who have to go back home to take care of an aging parent. You don't hear of vanilla couples splitting up so one can go take care of a parent. You NEVER hear of that. So if vanillas don't split so one can go take care of a parent, how come in this lifestyle it is so darned prevalent? |
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The stress has made me sick. I have a raging cold now. Great. Slight fever and sore throat and sneezing. Great. I feel so attractive. Great. 
On another note, I recently received an invite to chat, and I accepted. I told the gentleman that I have been talking with another, and wanted to see where that went, and wished him well. Oh, the vile words that came from his mouth!! I try to be respectful and kind to all, and for what? |
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Ok, I have a "project" due tomorrow, and the pressure of it has me physically sick. You know, I can handle some pressures in life, and others, well, I just can't. I suppose this is a weakness, but it's who I am, and I can't apologize for that. I feel too vulnerable and too "under scrutiny" and I just want to run.
Course, if I'd been told to do the project, and not given a "Do it or else" threat, I'd have most likely gotten it done easily by tomorrow. Then again, this project is especially difficult and perhaps I am fooling myself.
I'd love to hear from other female slaves how they handle being told to do something that is near impossible, when it is an order from a Man they care for and want to obey, but the order is just too much too soon. Thank you in advance to any girl who opts to write me.
:::::parking myself in a chatroom so that hopefully other slaves will see this and IM me::::: |
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I've been watching that show "Bridezilla" for the past couple hours. Each segment is 30 minutes and features two brides and the goings-on before and during their weddings.
I truly cannot believe how these women talk to their men. And I cannot believe the men would put up with it. But they do. I guess if you have a small waist and big knockers and fake nails, men will put up with your shit.
Amazing. |
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Am leaving to go to a BBQ for this holiday. I'll be the only single adult there, and of course all my friends will ask me why I am alone, when am I going to get married, why don't I have kids. 
What am I supposed to say? "Oh, gee, I'm hard-wired as a slave, and I can't just be with anyone, and finding/being found by the right Man is 1,000 times more difficult in Master/slave relationships than finding/being found by a man in a regular relationship, so that's why I am still single, thank you." I just don't think that would do anything but freeze everyone in place, mouths agape. And what kind of BBQ would THAT be, anyway?
Course, I had high hopes recently, but he likes little girls with A cup boobies. Well, I had A cup boobies in August of 1976 for about 17 minutes or so, so I hardly think I qualify to serve this Man. And that just blows. I really really wanted to serve him.
Off to heave my Winnebegos into my party dress, and paint on my happy smile, and drive out into the 106-degree heat to go to a shindig I don't even want to go to.
Happy Labor Day, all. And Steve Irwin, may you rest in peace, and thank you sincerely from this animal-lover for all you did for the creatures of our Earth. |
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Here is the nice long holiday weekend. Most everyone I know is going to do something fun. I, however, am experiencing one of my once-or-twice-a-year back pain flareups. I can't straighten up, and my body refuses to stop leaning to one side. (I look pretty Hunchback of Notre Dame-ish!) One of my neighbors took pity on me (she saw me going to the manager's office to pay my rent) and offered to bring me lunch. So around 3 PM a delicious meal of Thai food arrives, complete with a couple bottles of water, some Ibuprofen, and a couple of cans of soup, and a few pieces of fruit. (Wasn't that sweet!?)
I ate the lunch and laid down for a rest, and fell asleep. I've just woken up, and my face is swollen and my skin has a rash and it's itchy. Arrrrgh!! Seems that Thai food had ground cashews in it, which I am allergic to. Greaaaaaat. I can't wait for a few more hours because by then I'll be crazed with the heat and itchiness of the rash, and quite irritable from the fever. Greaaaaaaaat.
Not to sound whiney, but jeesh! What's next? Oh, and if anyone knows of a cashew antidote, I'd love to hear about it.
Happy Labor Day Weekend, everyone.
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A Man contacts me. Fine. I reply. He replies. I reply. I grow more and more frustrated at his one line, sometimes not even one complete sentence, replies. I send him the following letter. Learn from it if you are going to contact me, please.
~O.
Listen, I am NOT going to pull teeth. YOU claim to be a Dominant, so ACT LIKE ONE. I am NOT going to lead you by the hand and lead our conversations and ask a bunch of questions and wait for you to reply. Be the man and lead, for god's sake.
PS - My prediction is you'll get your panties in a wad and send an insulting note back and block me, but really, no disrespect is meant. It's just you HAVE NO PROFILE and yet YOU CONTACTED ME, and here I am BEING THE DAMNED MAN!!! I don't want to be the Man!!!
O. |
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Spent the latter half of the night in the ER. Nothing like looking your absolute worst, with crappy clothes on and blood pouring down your head and face, half-asleep, eye shmig, and having to go to the ER and of course be treated by the most attractive male in the entire city of L. A.  |
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My nephew and his wife miscarried their first pregnancy today.  I certainly don't want children, but I am sad for them, very sad, indeed. |
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This is kind of how I feel right now. I'm trying to be a good slavegirl, though, and keep my chin up, and just accept. |
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Did last night really happen? I feel kind of like I am in a parallel universe, living a really great life, and that I'll soon be thrust back into my own life. I hope not, though, cuz last night was really incredible.
On a sad note, today my mother would have turned 72. Oh, how I miss you, Mom, and I hope you are ok. I think of you so often, and I remember the fun times, the intense times, and the not-so-fun times. You taught me so much and you were/are an incredible soul. I am so glad we had each other for the years we did. I miss you and I love you so much.
xo |
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I am a "glass is half-full" type of girl. I have to wonder about all the people on here whose profiles go on and on about you don't want to be with losers, or fakes, or wannabes. Ummm, hello! Like the losers, fakes, and wannabes are going to say, "Oh, gee, I am a loser/fake/wannabe, so I better not contact this person!!"
And besides, who wants to read all that negative crap in someone's profile anyway? The losers don't give a darn about anyone but themselves, and therefore aren't going to be put off by your proclamation to not contact you. And the serious, happy, sane folks don't need to read the negativity in your profile, since it doesn't even apply to them. So why even bother putting all that stuff in your profile?
Just a vent on a Saturday morning while I wait for *him* to come online.  |
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Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. |
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Jeez. I sent an email to a "Dominant" letting him know that a LOT of people take offense to the term "subbie." I was polite, not berating him at all, and we had already exchanged a few emails back and forth, so he had had the chance to get a feel for my personality. In any case, here is his reply back. Is it any wonder people get so whacko on here, dealing with the likes of this???
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ha ha, thank u for the advice, subbie, lol,
I have been using "subbie" for the last 12 years,I used it in BDSM groups , fetsih clubs, and among BDSM community members on the East coast, here in the bay area, and it has always been very well appreciated . I guess only where u live , subbie, the word "subbie" is not common because where u live could be fantasy world or "wanna be" world or who knows what kind of world u live in !
Or, no, wait, maybe I don't know how to use the word "subbie" because I am not dominant enough, or maybe because English is my third language, u know what, u r absolutely right, I am a stinky immigrant who is pretending to be dominant to get into the pants of a 42 year old lady, THAT 's WHAT IT IS,lol, oh and only YOU, smart Olivia were able to figure that out! very smart Olivia, very smart.
What a joke u r, my dear, instead of focusing your time on finding a real Master , this is how u spend your time, no wonder u r 42 and not owned yet! Thank u for the advice again, I will keep it in mind, it is an excellent advice, lol
Adam |
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Is it sacrilege to be reading a book by an English author on the 4th of July?  |
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Hey, Ding-Dong in Burbank!!!
I was going to answer you, but I've had computer issues for a few days!!! So now that you've deleted your account, you have no one to thank but yourself. When you make up another name on here, don't frigging contact me. I don't appreciate you having me do all those writing assignments and then when I don't answer your email for three days, you delete your account. Pretty childish. Well, looks like now you'll have to go play with your bat and balls like a good little boy-child.
o.
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Ok, what is going on? A week ago, a "kid" hit on me at Trader Joe's. (For those of you who don't know, Trader Joe's is a grocery store, as is Ralphs, which I'm about to talk about.) He has always been friendly to me, but I figured it was the usual chit-chat that cashiers are supposed to do with the customers. Well, last time I was in Trader Joe's, about a week ago, the kid asked me out. I laughed out loud, thinking he was joking. He looked puzzled and said, "We're about the same age," and gave me his number and his email. I asked him how old he is, and his reply? "Twenty-three. Well, almost twenty-three. I'll be twenty-three at the very end of December."
Then two nights ago, I was on my way home from work, and stopped in Ralphs to buy a few items. It was about 11 PM so the store didn't have many people in it. Here's another male cashier, and chit-chatting, and tells me my total. As I dig the money out of my purse, he says, "Nice flowers." Huh? Oh, he means my shirt. I smile and say thank you, and continue with what I am doing. He continues, "I especially like the sparkles. Can I touch 'em?" OMG!!! I have on a tee shirt with flowers over the chest, and there are some little decorative sparkles on some of the flowers. I just look at him puzzled, and hand over my money.
He bags up my stuff and off I go, but he follows me! (Late at night, no one in line behind me, dang it.) I tell him he should be careful, that most people would probably have complained about his comments. This guy is not to be put off. He pulls out his card, and on it is his website and his phone number!!! And he's also 22!!!
Ok, can someone tell me where these gorgeous, manly 22-year olds were when *I* was 22??? The guy in Trader Joe's is absolutely gorgeous, and the guy in Ralphs isn't anything to sneeze at. WHERE were men like this when I was a 20-something?? |
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Went swimming today! It was sooooooo fun! Can't believe how fun it is to just swim for pleasure, and how tan I was when I got out of the water. Wheeeeeeee!  |
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I spent almost an hour-and-a-half in a private room chatting with a man from c/m earlier this evening. He is local to So Cal, in my age range, employed, and otherwise doesn't seem like a big wanker like so many on here do. However, I eventually just kind of lost it. I said to him, and I quote, "Can we drop all this bullshit and just get on with the things that matter, please??? I am finding this conversation to be tortuuuuuuuure!!!" and then I popped right out of the private room before the poor guy could even reply. 
This isn't my typical behaviour in life, but jeez, guys, come on!!! I apologized later in an email to him, and explained that I just couldn't take it anymore. I get asked 1,000 times per week what I like to do in my spare time, and if I have any brothers and sisters. I'm seeking an Owner, and none of that extraneous stuff even matters right now. What does matter are things like if the other person is seeking a relationship or just a playmate, if the other person is religious and if so, what they need in that regard from their partner, does the other person want to have kids (egads!!!) and do they have kids right now, what areas of their life does the Dominant want to control/submissive want to have controlled, does the other person have any habits like drug - smoking - liquor - etc, and how do you fit into that, and if there is a significant geographical distance between you, what the other person's plans are in dealing with that. But so few ask that stuff. They ask the bs like how many brothers and sisters do I have, and what do I like to do in my spare time.
In any case, to the gentleman from earlier this evening, once again let me say I'm sorry I "lost it" and took off like that. That isn't my usual behaviour but I just couldn't take it anymore. We'd been talking over an hour and fifteen minutes, and still knew absolutely NOTHING about each other that mattered. It was just crazy-making and I needed to go get on the treadmill and remind myself that not everyone has thought this whole process out, and perhaps other people are uncomfortable talking about stuff that matters, and prefer instead to pussyfoot around. Well, anyway. Now that you (the reader of this journal entry) probably think I'm the biggest bitch on c/m, I guess I'll go to sleep now.
Goodnight, Everyone,
O. |
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What gets me is when people write me an email (in response to one I wrote them), and the extent of the email is something like, "no i dont" or "i find the one after the book but it wasn't then"
Those are two true emails that I received in the recent past, and had to go back to the emails that I sent to them and figure out WHAT IN THE WORLD their words meant. And the general lack of punctuation and atrocious spelling is both fascinating and sad.
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I went to court today (helping a friend..nothing to do with me) and walking through the metal detector, it buzzed. I had on a skirt and sweater and heels and my purse was going through the x-ray machine, so what was making the machine buzz? I think it was my underwire bra, and I heard the deputy say the same thing to his young deputy friend who waved the wand over me and found nothing. Interesting experience, nonetheless. |
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Finally, the killer of Deputy David March has been found (in Mexico..gee, what a surprise.) Please, may he be extradited to this country so we can have at 'im. |
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Oh, great, Dubbya has given control of the eastern ports of the USA to some company from the United Arab Emerates. Does Dubbya not know that much of the money that funded Al-Qaeda's attack of 9/11/01 was routed through the UAE?? What's next, handing over control of our airports to Saudi Arabia??!!!
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I'm so confused. I got an email today from a gentleman I've been chatting with, and he said, "Dear O, For a slave seeking a relationship, you sure ask a lot of questions."
Huh?????? As a slave, do I just sit here, like a bump on a log? Do I just sit here, waiting like some puppy in the window, waiting til someone comes along and says, "Gee, it's so cute, let me take it home."
If you are reading this entry, and have thoughts one way or the other, I'd like to hear from you. In particular, it would be nice to hear from other female slaves. And thank you to each of you who choose to write.
~O. |
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Here am I, with a profile that is pages and pages long, and journal entries that go back through August 2005, yet I consistently receive emails saying, "Tell me more about yourself." That'd be fine, but the guys who write that don't have a profile to speak of. It is sparse, boring, non-informative, and yet they write me and tell me, "Gee, tell me more about yourself."
Laziness and lack of leadership in a Dominant are NOT good traits. |
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 Got carded at the grocery store tonight buying amaretto. Very nice to be thought of as possibly younger than 30. |
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Happy Frigging
Valentine's Day.
It really blows, you know, being an unowned slavegirl. No one to serve, no one to comfort, no one to give a nice bedtime blowjob. I do miss being under the guidance of a good Dominant Man, obeying him, not having to figure everything out on my own. I am just a girl, wandering through life, doing the best I can, hoping to be a good slave again some day.
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Superbowl Sunday. Did you know that today is the day that the most avocados are sold all year?  |
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Here I am at 3:33 AM, awake again. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person awake in Los Angeles. Sure, there's the occasional cop car racing down the street, sirens blaring and lights going, and there's the occasional hiccup in the night from some neighbor or another coming home late from a party or whatever it is younger people do at 3 AM. But pretty much, I'm aware of how very alone I am, and how very quiet the night can be. Odd, a city of 13 million, and I feel alone.
Sometimes someone comes into your life, even months and months earlier, and teaches you something that you can't dismiss. Even when that person shits on you, and cruelly abandons you, the lessons that person taught you still wander through your mind at times like this.
I find myself remembering what it felt like to be in his presence, and how much I wanted to please. I find myself wondering how someone could be so very cruel, first teaching about honor, and then dishonorably disappearing.
Oh, and I'm not awake because of thoughts of that time period in my life, but when I am awake in the middle of the night, I do notice my thoughts drift to what I learned from him, and to what might have been. |
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Yesterday was a crappy day. Got accused of something that simply isn't true. But how can you prove you did NOT do something, or that your motive isn't what you're being accused of? Anyway, nothing a good hard fugg couldn't fix. Nothing like a good headboard-banging fugg at the end of a crappy day, that's for sure. Thank gosh for fugg-buddies with big hard wankers. |
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Okay, here's an email, quoted in full. Am I supposed to understand this?
"aways young if you tell yoursel that you are an if true to your heart" |
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No matter what happens, why not treat each other with basic human respect? A little common courtesey? A bit of kindness? Anyway, what you sew, you reap. What goes around comes around. What goes up, must come down. Oh, wait, it's already down, deflated, flaccid, tiny, uhh.. |
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I watched an amazing movie on cable last night, one whose flavor hung in the air long after the television set had been turned off. "Happy Times" is from China, with English subtitles, and is the story of two strangers thrust together, each impacting the other's life for the better, but enduring difficulties along the way.
The movie's title is somewhat ironic since the two main characters' lives are anything but happy. Sure, there are happy moments, but each has unhappy circumstances filled with difficulty and hopelessness, yet each perseveres in order to make that emotional connection we all need.
My "review" here isn't doing this film justice, but I do hope you'll seek out "Happy Times" and let yourself sink into the story, as I believe it will change you for the better for having seen it.
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I really am starting to hate Los Angeles. I feel like I live in Mexico. And why do Mexican men make that disgusting noise at every woman with a big chest and green eyes? I'm gonna knock the shit out of the next one that makes that noise at me, I swear. |
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Ran into my neighbor on the stairs. She said that I looked like I was lost, sad.
What am I to do without him? I do feel lost, indeed. |
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So here I was, driving down the 101 at 3:30 this morning, on the way to the airport, and I glance over and there's a circa 1972 VW Bug next to me, and it's painted poppy orange. On top of that, it's being driven by a big huge fat black guy, dressed in a white button down and an orange sweater. Ok, I'm in a cartoon. I'm driving to the airport in thick fog at 3:30 AM in Los Angeles, and Fat Albert is driving right next to me..
On a more serious note, I hope the ass who failed to yield when Officer Eric Manny (sp?) was trying to pull him over has a nervous breakdown from a guilty conscience. May that cop rest in peace, and may his little children grow up knowing he loved them. |
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I seem to have been abandoned.  If someone doesn't want you anymore, wouldn't you think they'd simply state that, instead of hiding behind their caller ID and hiding behind the convenient geographical distance that lies between us? ::::shakes head:::: And this is a Dominant?!!
Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am, but it sure looks like the writing is on the wall. Oh, my sad lil heart. |
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They say a girl makes major changes to her hair when she has major emotional stuff thrown her way. I wish I had a before and after of my hair. What a difference a hurt heart makes. |
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Jamie Foxx, Judge Joe Mathis, and especially Reverend Jesse Jackson should all go pound sand. None of them has clue number one about the killing California is putting on tonight, and for them to be so loud-mouthed and visible to the media over this is a disgrace.
"Tookie" Stanley Williams not only founded the Crips gang (which, for some reason, isn't against the law, but that's neither here nor there at the moment), but murdered four people (that we know of), and has cost the State of California a zillion dollars keeping him fed and housed since 1979 or so. So now it's time to take the ultimate punishment for his crimes, and thes famous black guys who have taken up Tookie's cause are just media whore blatteroons.
When asked if he could name ONE, just ONE of the victims by name, Reverend Jesse Jackson could not cite even one name. Two hours later, when asked again, he STILL couldn't name one name. If Jesse is so learned about this case, and truly is knowledgable about Tookie's innocence, then how come he can't so much as name ONE of the victims? You'd think if the media embarrassed him once with the question, he'd get on it immediately should the question come up again. But no, the Reverend is merely a blatherskite who would do well to shut up, or bettter yet, go into the prison and tell Tookie, this self-proclaimed do-gooder to our youth, to cooperate with authorities, tell what he knows about other gang members' crimes over the years, and at least go out with some dignity.
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"Love doesn't make the world go round - love is what makes the ride worthwhile." -Franklin P. Jones (a Baptist preacher from the early 20th century)
And distance should never keep the right two people apart, for life is too short to be without the one who loves you. |
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Okay, I admit it. I'm in a bit of a tiff today. When I was a wee girl, my mum and daddy taught me that if I was a good girl, and honest, and kind, and did the right thing, that in life I'd be treated fairly. They were wrong. |
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to-too-two
you're-your
affect-effect
than/then
averse/adverse
Dominant/Dominate
honor/on her
If you can find your way around the above situations, I'd be so darned impressed.
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For the hundredth time-I do not switch! All you lil subbieboys, go find someone else! You're totally grossing me out! In my world, the man has the cock, and the man penetrates, and the man is in charge! So you lil subbieboys, please, quit wasting your ink! I am not evvvvvvvvvvver going to switch! Quitttttttttttttt asssssssskkkkkkkkinnnnnnnng. |
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Thanksgiving Day. Take a peek at GOOGLE today. They have a picture of a turkey sitting at a dining table about to eat a pie and some sort of .. I don't know what that is ... red igloo looking thing.. Too funny. Take a peek. |
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Just woke up a couple of hours ago, and it's dark. That toothache that started Friday evening blossomed into a lovely abscess overnight, and by this morning, Sunday, was exuding pus and blood. I got a prescription for Vicodin, who is my new best friend. 14 hours and 3 minutes, and I'll be in the dentist's office, thank gosh. Nothing like a pus-filled globe under gum tissue to make a slavegirl feel oh, so attractive. I gotta get this excised so I can get back to my usual charming, sweet, purdy self, yanno?  |
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Where, oh where, is my Dearest Sir? This is how I feel right now without him. --> |
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Severe toothache.
OMG - If you crack a crown, and your dentist tells you to come in "in the next couple of days" to replace it, trust me, do as he says! Don't wait three weeks because it didn't hurt yet!!!  |
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Chest tightness. Slight diaphoresis. Retro-sternal pain. Palpitations. Feeling of doom and gloom.
If I die in my sleep tonight, I just wanted to thank all those that have been kind to me, and who have taken the time to teach me something.
1:55 AM, November 14. |
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Woke up to rain here in the western San Fernando Valley today, and to no mail (again) from someone very important to me. Ah, life!
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L*O*N*E*L*Y
::::::heavy sigh::::::
~~~sad~~~
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Dear Sir, where ever you are, please help me to put that darned Halloween candy down.
Respectfully,
Your sweet, obedient, too plump slavegirl. |
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Rest in peace, my friend Kim E. We shall all miss you. You were a kind soul and touched all of us. Rest, dear friend, rest. |
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Rough day today. I'm a sad slavey. Sometimes people are just downright mean. |
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Seen on a sticker on the back window of a car on the way home tonight:
GIRLS FAKE
ORGASMS.
GUYS FAKE
RELATIONSHIPS.
Hmmmmmmmm!! Seems about right to me!!! |
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::::::sigh::::: Here is yet another gem of an email I woke up to this morning. Seriously, guys, would YOU answer an email that was like this? Would YOU think this is an appropriate way to talk to a potential submissive? On to the show -- and again, this is this man's FIRST contact to me: "Well dear, we can see what else you have to say.. i could stick to one if she keep my balls empty. [his first name] .." By the way, this gem of a man lives in Iowa, has a pic up on his profile, is 6'0" tall and weighs 500 pounds, according to his profile.
I'm going to go wash my eyes out. That email is one I just wish I'd never seen. |
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11:11 AM. This morning was a very, very good morning, indeed.
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Some men on here are just pigs. "Oink, oink," said the pig. |
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Hello, everyone! If someone can solve the mystery of why I cannot get emoticons into my emails, that person will be rewarded with a dollar. Yes, I am serious! A whole dollar shall be yours and only yours, to do with as you wish! By the way, I am aware of the "Add Emoticon" button above the email box, but nothing happens when I click on it!  And for some reason, emoticons will work in the chatroom, in the journal, but not in emails!! So, everyone, hurry and get those fingers flying, cuz one dollar and only one dollar shall be awarded in this rare opportunity! ::::giggles:::: Thank you in advance to anyone who writes.
~O. |
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How funny: I got an email from someone saying he had, for kicks, put my profile into Microsoft Word and did a word count. My profile is 1,414 words long. :D |
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Life is just really really hard sometimes, and really really unfair. I am really really tired.
~O. |
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Does anyone know how to keep a basil plant happy? I bought one on Sunday. It is now Wednesday, and the poor little thing is decidedly unhappy in its new home.  Anyone? Please? Help! Thanks!
~O. |
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Upon approaching my parking spot the other day, I noticed a pinkish-white, oozey, gooey puddle of dried up froth next to my car. I wondered if some sort of gruesome crime had occurred and I was about to be thrust into some horrid scene. As I got closer, I saw the same pinkish-white goo was on my car, too, but only from the bottom of the door down. I opened my car, somewhat cautiously, not sure what awaited. At first I noticed nothing, and still was wondering what caused the shpoog on my car and next to it.
Then I saw that I had left the bottle of color-safe bleach on top of my laundry, which was in the car, too. And that liquid soap-like stuff had come to a boil in the L.A. heat, and percolated itself on out of its plastic bottle cage, where it seeped down the clothes, out the car door, and onto the parking lot, where it baked on the tarry ground into the mystery gunk that first attracted my attentions.
At least it wasn't a crime scene in my car or sumpin', right? |
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PLEASE!!! No Jesus-Freaks! No Bible-Thumpers! I will not be swayed to take your belief system, and I think it is RUDE to try to force your opinions onto another person, especially when that person has EXPRESSED that you NOT do so! ::::running to the treadmill to de-stress over the ridiculous half-hour phone call I just endured:::::  |
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Woke up to another glut of emails this morning from men seeking someone who is (or "will be") bi, who is "into" BDSM, and who wants to be kept naked and chained, legs spread and genitals dripping in anticipation.
I am not "into" BDSM. I am, however, submissive to my very core. I do not live for my next play party (actually, have never been to one) nor do I have any leather outfits. I am not impressed by your modified basement turned dungeon, and I don't care if you have a toy bag.
Perhaps by now you are thinking I am a real witch. In actuality, I am a generally soft-spoken, sweet, very kind-hearted female who just happens to be hard-wired that the Man be the Man in the relationship. So please, if what you seek is someone to put on leather and get flogged in front of your 50 closest friends that you just met an hour ago, I'm not for you. But if you are naturally inclined to protect, guide, and lead in your life, then I may just well be the girl for you. |
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:::sigh::: Today I politely told a man I am not interested and wished him well and was very sweet, polite, kind, etc. The idiot wrote me back to tell me that I am obviously a Dominant since I didn't make my user name in lower case. Jeez, folks, a little kindness to each other, eh? I mean, most people, I have noticed, when they aren't interested, or lose interest, simply stop writing. They don't have the consideration or the courtesey or the manners to write a simple, "No, thanks," and instead just hide in the corner hoping you'll somehow read their minds. So I take a few moments, write this man a polite note, and wish him well, and his response is that I must be a Dominant because I didnt make my user name in small letters.
So I will address that here. I didn't know that the people on this site have the tendency to capitalize their user name if D, and lower case their user name if s. I come from AOL-ville, and on that service (if you can call it that), the first letter of your screen name is automatically capitalized. So there ya have it. I capitalized my name because that's what I've been used to for nine years on AOL. :::shakes head at the absurdity of having to defend this::::
Goodnight, all. ~O.
PS - In no way do I intend to come off as if I am ridiculing the use of lower case versus upper case that many people in the D/s world use with pronouns and formal names. I have no problem with it whatsoever, and indeed in the past have been required to use such modifications. But for this journal and profile, I choose to just use the regular rules of English. If and when I am in a relationship, and he wishes me to do otherwise, then I shall.
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BDSM and D/s are NOT THE SAME THING. It drives me CRAZY when so-called Dominants ask me, "So, what are you into?" and proceed to offer up a list of activities they enjoy. Right away, I know that they are not Dominant at all, but are just men looking for sex with some kink. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just wish they realized they really aren't Dominant, and would quit putting themselves out there as such.)
As a slave, I will gladly do any BDSM activities that the Man I submit to chooses. All I have to do is choose correctly, and after that, everything is taken care of. For example, let's say a man loves the crop. Well, the crop isn't my favorite thing, but hey, if he loves it, then why not? It isn't going to kill me, and it is going to make him happy. So let's get the crop and get going, this slavegirl says. :)
Now, having said that, if a Man I am getting to know tells me he loves his slave to have sex with, say, a lemon tree branch (for those of you who don't know, lemon trees have these wicked thorns), then I'd simply never choose that Man as my Master. It's really very simple. He and I are incompatible so I would not choose him.
Does this make sense? So for a Man to start running down a checklist of BDSM activities is really irrelevant. I can tell him my limits, and everythign else is a go. It's very simple. We don't have to talk about if I prefer the cane or the flogger (or none), because if HE loves the flogger, then let's get the flogger and have us a party. I know I chose a Man I trust, and who knows me, and knows what would make me lose my mind in fear (such as sex with a lemon tree branch), and so everything beyond that is up to him. Very simple, really.
Oh, and if there are any lemon trees reading this, I just wanted to state that I don't have anything against lemon trees, their branches, or their thorns. If the lemon tree and the orifice have each consented, then hey, who am I to raise an eyebrow?
;-) Goodnight, all. ~O.
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Wow..94 contacts in about three days. Really incredible, the amount of mail I have received. I do my best to reply to everyone who contacts me, but just so you all know, I will not reply to people who contact me and are rude, disrespectful, vulgar, or mean. Also, if you are not a Dominant Male, then I won't respond, either. And lastly, I do not reply to one-liner emails. Just as you enjoyed reading a complete profile on me, and enjoy reading emails that show a little effort, so do I. 
Goodnight, all. ~O. |
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