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In My opinion all submissives offer submission, all submissives accept training and the need for obedience.
What I see some calling submission I call bottoming in BDSM rather than submitting in D/s.
A bottom is there for their own gratification/pleasure. There is no emotional exchange.
A submissive is there to please a Dominant thereby gaining their own pleasure = exchange
A slaves is a submissive that chooses a very deep level of submission that involves giving up most rights and accepting almost total control over all aspects of their lives ( this is negotiated prior to collaring and respected once collared)
Both "submissives" ands slaves should show pride in being owned or they should question why they are doing it. Both should be obedient and want to please their owner.
Slaves have rights. They have the right not to accept a collar just as a "submissive" does, or to terminate that collar if a Dominant endangers the slaves physical or emotional wellbeing just as a "submissive" can.
I do not believe either a submissive or a slave has to be collared to feel they are what they are so yes they can both choose at that point who they serve or do not serve.
I often see the phrase "submission is a gift" or “a gift and a privilege. “what I fail to see ever is that accepting that submission is also a gift and that it is a privilege to have that submission accepted..D/s is a two way street.
All submissives should know the difference between obedience and disobedience. To choose disobedience is to choose not to submit and they should rethink who they are.
Submission can be for a scene, or giving your life over fully to someone else’s control and with many, many levels and variations in between.
A dominant wether owning someone who identifies as submissive or someone who identifies as slave has a very high degree of responsibility to protect that person’s emotional, physical and financial wellbeing!
A Long winded dialogue yes however it is a topic I am somewhat passionate about. |
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Do women put bisexual on their profiles simply because they think it will attract a man more? I am truly curious about this one.
What surprises me even more is that they will only speak with Doms.
Does not bisexual mean they are attracted to both sexes? hmm curious indeed |
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Just had to chuckle at this one.
The following is the entire content of a "female slave" ? profile... guess she doesn't understand what it is to be a slave.
The sad part is that some poor schmuck will actually become her sugar daddy and she will Domme him to her hearts content...
"Forget the rest, i'm the best...
i want me a wealthy man with enough cash to pamper & spoil me - preferably with vacations overseas in return for a no strings attached M/s relationship in which i do anything... and i mean anything... for Him... xxxxx" |
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Why oh why do so called slaves initiate contact with a Domme and then claim She is not serious because She does not conform to that "slaves " idealised world?
It is not My place to pander to your ego or spend hours online "chatting " to justify Myself. Nor do I have to agree that your fantasized version of slavery is real.
On and on it goes....Laughs
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Groans loudly as I see yet another so called Master have a pisture of nothing but his genital...is this all that is important in life?????
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How life does seem to lead us on a merry dance.. Was very pleased recently to attend the inaugural meeting of the Canberra Femme Dommes Group...So nice to see the boys behaving like boys and looking after the Ladies as they should....
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Thank goodness kim is on his way home finaly. Not sure it was wise letting two subbies go all alone on a road trip across the nullabor. Look forward to making his cute lil arse nice n red...hehe
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Damn....three Nigerian scammers in two days...who opened the flood gates???? Am so wondering why they think anyone will believe they are real when they say African American from nigeria and use pics of white models on thier profiles... Did people really come down in the last shower?
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gypsygirl129 has been collared by my partner Greiff and has become an integral part of Our 'family"..hugs and kisses girl.. its about time! Also had to change age on My profile....chuckles....Have frequently changed pics and content and overlooked the fact I can age gracefully Hmm...so why doesn't that update itself each year? and who else needs to update???
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welcome
It helps people to understand who you are and what you seek if you put a little more about yourself in your profile. (if you have not already done so)
It also helps your search if you have a clear understanding of what you don't want.
There are so many Doms /Dommes and even subs here online who are more than ready and eager to lead you in many directions... not all you will find a positive experience...smiles.
If you identify yourself as submissive because you need some one to "save "you from yourself and the big bad world then your quest is doomed to heartbreak.. it takes great strength, a knowledge that you are confortable with who and what you are, to be a good submissive. Some think that being a sub is getting tied up/shakled or simply wear a velcro collar and used for sex all the time... chuckles... that is what some would call a BDSM bottom.. and others would call a "Do me sub".The mark of a real submissive is knowing you gain your pleasure from pleasing another and not necessarily fullfilling your own desires..
Do you know which you are yet?
If you are not sure what it is you want.. write out a shopping list of physical and personality attributes for the person/people you seek.. I am serious!!..be choosy!! Some people spend more time choosing a car ( model, make, colour, engine capacity etc) than they do partners for relationships. Changing your mind along the way is ok after evaluating all the information at your disposal, only a fool ignors the obvious..The world is your supermarket..shop wisely...grinzzz... and be well
Mistress Black Rose
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Another one bites the dust.. another boy full of shyte or too scared to make his pathetic fantasies a reality.
OK when are you boys gonna learn?? firstly put a little intestinal fortitude into yourself, your profile and your initial contacts with Dommes. If your not real and not prepared to actually meet then for ***** sake why the hell are you bothering Me?..
At the risk of sounding like every other real Domme on here... MAKE THE EFFORT !!!
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hippy4real is a west african scammer who thinks Albury (the place she says she is from in profile)is in
Queensland..well (she/it /they) did after I suggested it was...lol... you would
think they could at least get their details accurate before trying such
a lame scam...sheeesh
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Time and again I read how the search for a slave/sub/Dom/Domme has proved fruitless because there are so many fakes etc etc online. Those who know me have often heard me say that finding the right person is like mining. You have to sift through and discard tonnes of rubble to find the gems and when you do its worth every seemingly wasted moment of time and measure of effort.
Many people actually fail to find a gem because they look for one that is already "Polished & Perfect" overlooking the diamonds in the rough who with a little work could become valued beyond expectation.
In addition I would add a small note that a very wise woman sent to me only today....
"A relationship(s) is not the final result, it is the interaction.... and just like a dimond, a relationship(s) has many facets. "
Thanks julie.. so very true
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Poly should not be about being a first second or third etc in a pecking order. This leads to dissatisfaction, jealousies and failure 99.9% of the time. It should not mean that you be subjected to accasional tossed tid bits of sex and play.
A poly houshold should be a place where all are getting what they need to feel a true part of what is happening.
I see so many profiles that say they will not be part of a poly houshold because they do not want to be second best.. you are only second best if you believe it to be a truth and put yourself in a position where it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
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It is My belief That many in this lifestyle seek the
"perfect" Dominant/sub, one who fulfills the fantasy in each of our
heads. There is no such creature at least not for the long haul.. after
a very short time the flaws appear and we forget we are just human and life is not one long BDSM play scene...
We all need to recgnise that we will never have 100%
certainty in life & that a good relationship is built on openess,
honesty & trust( simple but not easy ). Its also crucial that
people understand that REGRET is the biggest thief of time and JEALOUSY eats away at the heart of the one who is jealous and is a
destroyer of all that is good in a relationship.
Only when we understand and accept these things can we even hope to be part of a truly wonderful partnership with others.
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It is definitly not realistic to expect mindless servitute with nothing
in return. That would be like drinking from a barrel of fine wine and
expecting it never to be refilled..of course it runs out sooner or
later.
It is realistic to expect a submissive that calls themselves "slave" to be obedient without question. To serve is what makes a true slave alive. Not for thier own pleasure ( although that should be an end result) but to see the obvious pleasure it brings the one they serve.
A BDSM top is not a Dominant and a BDSM bottom not a submissive. Be clear in what it is you really seek!
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Its been a very interesting few months that have taught me much about people..
most of all it has reminded Me how much I value loyalty, honesty & true committment.
kimmy78 we love dearly and is still with us 24/7. He may not yet be the "perfect " slave & I may not yet be the perfect Mistress.. but progress continues..#smiles#
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Don't focus on finding"The One " like its some kind of sacred cow you seek.. focus on your own journey
as a person.. grow through interaction with "The many" and make every
relationship an integral part of the learning process along the way.
To focus on “The One “ is to blind yourself to opportunity as you
desperately cling to each new contact in hope that this is “It”
Live, Love, Learn and enjoy each part of the Journey
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I am NOT a leather clad, domineering hooker with whip in hand, fishnet stockings and highboots . (well not all the time) so if this is what you seek a ProDomme would be better suited.
I am NOT an 'Instant Domme'..I have NO desire to dominate complete strangers who are thousands of miles away or can only "visit" when thier partners are oblivious of the fact.
you will find in Me a very feminine Woman with strength of purpose and a clear knowledge of where I am going, a fun loving and a seriously committed Domina who likes to attend and host play parties and yet value My privacy as well as respect the privacy of others.
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