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My first public play party was in 1982. Back then you had to know someone, who knew someone, who knew someone else, in order to be invited to any scene party. But once you were in, you were in!
I recall as a child doing a variety of Dommelysadistic things with the other kids in the neighborhood.
As a teenager, I would borrow my dads Variations and Forum Magazines. I was mesmerized with the forum letters about the kinkier side of life! Dad was a harmless pervert, may he rest in peace, and I loved his library! Mom on the other hand, was extremely missionary! Although, I always wondered if she bought all those vibrators under her bedside, or dad!
In college dating with kinky interests was difficult! I heard many times, you wanna do what to my what? youre weird! I thought I was the only one that had this twisted nature.
Finally, a couple of years out of college, I replied to ads in the Boston underground papers. Thus, the first BDSM play party.
Ill never forget that night! Myself, another woman and seven guys! I was in awe when they were tying each other to suspension pulleys, an examining table, and the first Saint Andrews cross Id ever seen! The teasing and tormenting by todays standards was quite simple, no tens units, no 16 plait signal whips, no needles, honestly, just a few vibrators and toys!
I remember being scared to death, and incredibly excited the entire night! I felt connected! Finally, I wasnt the only kinky pervert! What a life changing event!
My new found comfort carried over to a few short term relationships in the next couple of years. Unfortunately, I finished out the 80s and early 90s in two consecutive vanilla multi-year relationships.
Having felt alone with my kinks, at the end of the second vanilla relationship, I vowed to not go into a relationship without BDSM being a common factor. Several short term relationships, the introduction of the internet, spending time in Boston with other like minded kinksters, and my own natural creativity helped me move along the learning curve quite rapidly!
Since that time Ive lived to my vow. No vanilla partners!
I confess that my view of BDSM has changed completely in the past two decades.
I remember so clearly when having a new toy felt like it made me kinkier. Yes learning mummification, rope tricks, whip control, needle play, suspension all are great skills. But I dont feel that its the skills or the toys that make me better.
I do, however recognize deep within side me is a control gene. The same one that I had at the age of 9 while tying up the boy down the street.
I remember at the end of the first long term vanilla relationship, having a serious conversation with my partner. When I said, quite sincerely that I wanted slaves, I was immediately told I was sick and dont ever let anyone hear me talking that way! I honestly, felt completely at ease with my desire. That was about the eighteenth nail in the coffin of that relationship!
I dont self define as a bondage queen, needle nut, cane commando, or pain princess! I can do all of those quite well. But, my single tail prowess is not me entirely.
What makes me flourish is being in control. From simple tasks such as appearance, sleep habits, self esteem, to holding the end of the rope that will either release you or tighten you, as I see fit.
If you have the need to find the depths of who you are, not just wanting to try, this pain trick or that new latex, then I will certainly love crawling into your being to dig out the truest of you!
Is your mind ready for me?
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