Because I am an alpha sub, its a little different and I believe that's why I haven't found a suitable Dom that I can truly submit to. My submission is most definitely has to be earned by my Dom because He's shown me that He is worthy of it, has my best interest at heart and I trust Him with my life - literally. My Alpha.
I'm a natural sub and because of that I have found myself in a few toxic relationships. I used to think something in me was broken, something needed fixed. Why did I have this overwhelming desire to please? Why did I yearn to hear I had done a good job and my man was proud of me? To hear the most precious words, "good girl" or "I am proud of you babygirl". I had no idea. I went to counseling thinking I had some residual issues from childhood or my father didn't praise me enough. No, I have a need to please and serve and I have found my power through serving.