So, from my research this last week, and reading a hefty cross section of your profiles presently here, you seem to want an eclectic mix of character traits and looks, but there’s a common theme running throughout.

However, I hate to be the one to break this to you girls, but you’re unlikely to find a chap with the morals of Ghandi, Daniel Craig’s bod, Clive Owen’s eyes, Robbie’s serenading abilities, Fred Astaire’s dancing skills, and the Dalai Lama’s humility with a billion or so in the bank, an Aston Martin in the mile long drive and a 2 kilo willy.

I know it’s a shame, but there we are. Google ‘counselling’ if you find it hard to come to terms with these facts over the coming days. Or come and lie quietly on my couch?

Where was I? Oh yes, well now, as for me? I’m a grown up chap with grown up stuff. Largely my time's my own but have a few projects bubbling away at any given moment as I just can’t ever imagine being a couch potato or not having a reason to spring out of bed. I adore people, they constantly surprise me positively, so I make the most of a wide circle of brilliant friends and am fiercely loyal toward those around me that I love.

Whilst terribly flattering, I do know that I'm really not looking for a much younger lady. Forty to fifty would be perfick. No youngsters with text speak as it's unlikely that I'll understand you, so find someone more your own age. I'm too old to learn a new language. 'Coz like, there's this like, new like, language, that like, requires like, you know, like, an ability to like, add in like, like as often as like, possible. We no longer have a swear box. We have a 'like' box, and 50p off monthly allowances for every indiscretion is just starting to make progress with my own li'l yoof.

The down side of that is she rifles my wardrobe with alarming alacrity claiming poverty, so I have to hide my cashmeres, and Batman outfit in the loft now. So if you're a 'yoof' under thirty five read no further, move along, nothing to see here. I won't understand a word you say. Go and do whatever yoof do. Mug someone. Take drugs.

I’ve been deathly dull and focused on biz these last years, mostly abroad, I’ve decided to get off my bot and find a lovely gal with which to explore the next chapter of a life fantastic, now that I fully have the time to do so. Presently house hunting.
 
I’m a foodie, and I’ll fight you for control of the kitchen, regularly entertaining at home with a wide range of fodder I love preparing, but equally in heaven at a lovely restaurant if there’s been a particularly good review. I’d rather like to own a restaurant and bar one day, though bugger working in it, I’d just float from table to table making people feel loved on Saturdays.

I play golf and tennis, love a good yomp in the hills (all the better with a woofer for company) and sail, so I’m anything but a lardy arse and try to keep myself in good shape. Can’t stand the gym, and prefer real activity in fresh air rather than sweaty, stinky, urbane treadmills.

Very tactile and loving, and need you to be so too, displays of affection and appreciation will abound. I want to find that ‘I just can’t keep my fucking hands off you’ feeling. Oh kissing’s important too, love kissing, so underrated.

Wickedly creative, skills honed over many years with wide interests in lots of flavours and whilst not into anything extreme, I do have a love of painting the canvass before me as I see fit. Pretty stripes, evenly and beautifully applied to a pert bottom, thighs, gently pinched and bitten, encouraged to widen for me, your training will be a journey, not always comfortable.

Discipline akin to a Fifties household, rules and principals agreed together, little reminders to excel, to be your best, shall be common and reviewed often. From the simplest, such as how much you're allowed to drink and time for bed if I'm away, to how to dress appropriately for me if something special is planned or we are out for a scrummy supper. I'll demand your full attention. You'll yearn to give it. But a simple otk spanking is inevitable to straighten out a misunderstanding when appropriate. When fair.

Your collar will be the crucible from which your love is confirmed daily. You'll want to wear it as often as you dare. Because you know how much it means to me.