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?I saw in a?discussion group (Pay for Play); only people on the receiving end of pay; for play. Where are all the people seeking to play? And when I say PEOPLE; I really mean that. Men, Women, Couples, Bois, Gyrlz....HUMAN'S. Some of my greatest professional memories; are of the opportunities I had to be a part of a couples intimacy. Dinner and a Dominatrix...What a splendid way to $pend an evening!
?I guess with the loss of backpage and other such sites. Makes it more difficult to find people. And, where do ya go...!? Perhaps back to basics; good ol' news paper adds and P.O. boxes. I don't know...
?There is a furrowed brow, I think for the term "pay for play". I am not so fond of it my self. But I think, that it is socially constructed. To feel that twinge of consumer guilt. Religion and society say nay for hundreds of generations; eventually a part of you may "buy" in to that? balderdash.
The term though, does perfectly describe the hypothetical conversation.
?I am not as old or young as my profile lets on. However, I have been around long enough to learn a few things about this, the human experience.
?Sexual interaction for me, has always been...Pivotal. I have always felt greatly challenged to find fulfillment in my personal/private endeavors. It matters not, the endowment or leather/S&M skill of the male; as I am 99.03% lover of all things cock; or the commonality of our proclivities. I just have always felt a deep internal lacking.
?The fact of the matter in my private life is this: Childhood experiences have hindered my good time as a happily ever after go. On the shiny side; That same fact as fortune and personal choice would have it; has been nothing but embraced by the BDSM community. And furthermore, gifted me to guide those seeking, exploring, evolving, and/or in need.
?Recently; I came to a "I can live with that" conclusion. I am fulfilled by a consensual exchange and understanding of one another. It is just how I am wired. I tried for a couple decades to find that ONE; settle down, raise some rugrats, you know the drill. Seriously, it is just not in the cards for me. Fuck it, fight it, it is all the same.
I have never been in moral conflict with the topic of hypothetical conversation. As much as; the jury was still out. I hadn't until recently; come to a firm conclusion and acceptance of the fact, that this is who I am. If ever there was Destiny; I believe this would be mine.
?It genuinely excites and satiates me to consensually exchange. The activities, feed The Void. That misfire inside of me that calls out to communicate in a myriad of alternative ways.
?I find it unfortunate that our society harbors such a stigma to any that dare or need to engage in this manner. I can only be me. I have only this life to live and no tangible evidence yet, of lives after. Thus; To Thine Own Self Be True.
?I was a happy Pro Dom for several years. Those that subscribed, were always treated with dignity, privacy and respect. I see "you", the subscriber...as the other side of the coin.
?I got steamrolled legally speaking a few years ago. I wonder sometimes, if there was some lesson I was sapposed to learn. Cause if there was...I think it was lost on me. And just so it is said, typed, what ever... It wasn't wanton disregard on my part that began the steam rolling. I moved next to neighbors truly corrupt of heart.
?I am not a boisterous person. And I am quite serious about discretion, privacy, honor, and anonymity. Honor; this is a very important aspiration and higher virtue to me. The ability to do the right thing, even if it means lay'n on the grenade; cause there is just no sense in everyone dy'n.
I can't speak much on the?higher virtues though; as so many?of the lower ones are just too much fun ;)
?The downward spiral that has ensued ever since the "proper legal fucking". Is one that now; barely keeps my head above water. And what's worse...The void just continues to grow.
My outlet, is gone. What I feel to be my purpose in life; not allowable by standards and laws of Moral Turpitude.
Hmph, says I...
?Conversationally, If you are the other side of the coin. Please drop me a personal message.
Thanks for taking the time to read this little ditty. I look forward to hearing from you. Until then... Be safe, be wise, and be unabashed :)
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