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From time to time i wander here. . I am recovering from the liss of my dear mother and caring for my elderly father. . Working and surviving |
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I have left the lifestyle. Lost my mother aug 7th. My life nor i will ever be the same. Thankyou to those who have supported me emotionally through this horrible period. But my life direction is now concentrating on my career and caring for my father. GOD BLESS! |
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Detached,unfeeling,misunderstood,gone |
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Working on important things. . . |
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I am going through many trials and tribulations at this time regarding my elderly parents and taking care of myself.I dont mean to be rude butost times I pop on and off,there is one whom I come to talk to.enough said |
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I feel like a junior hi hallway monitor today, when I sit in my office and hear thw unmistakable sound of packaging being ripped into and knarled and look out to see grown women sneaking to open packaging clearly not meant to be opened until after purchase,I gotta wonder who raised these people. . . |
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Sometimes . . . . Its best not to look. . .The Truth finds you. . . . |
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Really?how does one collect 15 writeups for poor job performance in one year suddenly quit the moment you sit them down for termination and turn around and claim harrassment as to why she quit?man,i need to try that! |
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A wicked but funloving grin, oft fortells of a funloving soul to sweep in and clear away the storms of life, protective,caring yet one who commands respect by his very presence. . .That will be my King. . . . |
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Ugh,now it wont let me respond to emails,holds my head ,shreiks and goes back to work.day nearly over and i can go home to my daughter and my doggies |
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Learning tonavigate with this iphone so if ive accidentally touched the screen in the wrong place and it took me to your profile,unless i contact you please assume it was me learning to drive in space on this thing,have a grand evening! |
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Yes,when i build something its unmovable,hehehe |
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I have been enjoying my aloneness, one thing i cannot bear is unproductivity so instead of being disappointed by those who would waste my time i have been learning more about myself and that being alone sometimes is cathartic.last week i built my own picnic table, this week i started framing an addition on my garage just big enough to move my dog Boomers house into making him,in effect,a doggie condo,im pretty happy learning i can do things i never imagined |
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This IS an online community where like minded people SHOULD feel safe and not judged even if they arent actively looking for whatever reasons..please be a bit kinder and more tolerant than the rest of the world...we should be protecting each other here..not tearing them apart... |
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Four vacation days..im so happy working around my house |
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worked 9 hours came home got two thirds of the grass mowed.scraped block at foundation in front..put dogs all in for night.came in..cleaned up.made chili for laura and I.ate..enjoyed jer company..ready to sleep |
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New days..new challenges...same warm hands...same cold heart? |
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Blessed all those who serve to protect our lives and freedoms...Happy Memorial Day! |
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Hadnt been able to type here in weeks..had dolphin browser...im back |
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365 more points and my daughter and I are going to Puerto Vallarta next Feb...wooohooo! |
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Today, is a new day...I had three days off to relax and recuperate, do my yardwork, and generally relax.. |
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day four of 12.5 hour days plus two hours drive time to and from the job..major reset of the store..annoyed customers because they can't get what they came for ...rude so called professionals..katnaps at my desk on lunch break..thankfully tomorrow i can sleep in a bit..before i go start doing hair and nails...then home to work on my tractor so i can get my lawn mowed...ugh |
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It would seem that I overextended my wrist yesterday and have to be reminded painfully, obviously, that it isnt altogether healed yet..so lifting 30 pound boxes of product isnt such a good idea...bleh! |
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I am very blessed to have some wonderful dominant men in my life..who understand my need not to be owned at this time..for my own personal reasons..yet are wonderful enough to still guide me and help me and mentor me..not all here are idiots..just a few |
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Good morning to my real friends here..and yes..I am still here because I have every right to be..so the so called gentleman from yesterday with his nasty rants because he was turned down didn't get his way..poor little man..too bad some think this is their personal hunting ground and when rejected stomp their feet and pout like little kids...I have dealt with real people from here and they know I am real..so have a beautiful day the rest of you...:) |
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awwww..so i see that post was deleted because someone with such a great Mynd..cant handle being rejected..nice cm..its ok though when they abuse us here and tell us we have no right to be here because they deem us fake..very nice...and its ok..there are those here who know me real life who can vouch for me, I dont need Mstr to validate anything for me, just leave me alone. |
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totally ridiculous..really???? you evidently arent reading my profile before you send emails telling me you are horny..i dont give a S**T IF YOU ARE HORNY....im not here to satisfy your hormonal upheavals. grow up |
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i see so many stating dommes were bombing them today..viewing their profiles..yes..it seems everyone has experienced that today..and i say it says that there is a lot of scamming going on..i too..have been being viewed by so called dommes...dont beleive it. |
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MY PHONE IS SITTING IN A BOWL OF BROWN RICE..DRYING OUT..I STOPPED FOR A SODA ON WAY TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE MY MOM AND IT SPRAYED EVERYWHERE, NICE...NOW IM HOPING MY PHONE DRIES OUT..SO IF ANYONE IS TRYING TO REACH ME BY CELL..DONT THINK IM IGNORING YOU..ITS MY PHONE OUT OF SERVICE..UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... |
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sometimes, I think i have been unowned for so long that i forget how it feels..forget what is expected..and for me..that feels very sad...:( |
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I have to clarify..this was meant as a wistful thought in my head..not anything saying that I am leaving or depressed..I am a survivor..and will continue doing so...
when i die..i will be cremated and i want just a small tiny statue of a kneeling woman, head down..I think that would be nice for me. |
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my King will be strong, caring, protective smell wonderful and be the most delicious... |
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I haven't ranted in a few days..I got some rest last night and today..my plate is full..I have the beginnings of a rant growing inside but for now..it is under control..when I think about the fact that this site is not just one thing..but many...I have to try to control my rants..it is a dating site to some..to some..a mere hookup site..there are those here for money because they are too lazy to work and hide behind the guise of domme..there are friendships grown here..there are also ridiculous requests here..and then, there are those who beleive they are so superior..that they can just put it out there that they are looking for fuckmeat...alrighty then...stops and tucks the rant back in where its poking out from.......have a great day...my friends. |
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i seriously need a nap.... |
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At one time here, i had the id of TheOneHeDesires, and also LucilleBallGagMe...lol..yep..my life is like one big Lucille Ball show..with Desi...only with a twist or two.... |
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and so...last night on my way home from work, i stopped at the hospital and my mom was in the icu hemorraghing so fast they were doing blood transfusions..around midnight they sent me home to get some rest..so I got my bath, made the food to take for the managers meeting today and got my stuff ready then literally fell into bed..i got up this morning, loaded the car, went t the hospital, spent time with my mom then went on to my managers meetings, now i am having my brakes done by a very wonderful man..P) I am tired and I don't think it will take much for me to be out tonight....I know God doesnt give more than one can handle but really...God? Is this all necessary??? |
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as a child..they said i was difficult..
as a teenager, rebellious..
a young woman...busy and caring as i raised young ones of my own..
in my 30;s, i was a wild child..ink, piercings..parties..
in my 40's..i began looking at life differently
in my 50's now..i am appreciating life so much...and it reminds me of something my mother in law told me in my twenties, she said..you will think each stage of your life is the best and you may be dragged kicking and screaming from one to another, but as you get older, you will find class and wisdom to walk gracefully on...
she was so right! I miss her so much! |
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dominate is a verb
dominant is an adjective
If you cannot distinguish between the two..please pick up a dictionary. |
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my rant for the day is being kept inside..as not to start another war..enough said! sometimes you just have to have an inner monologue. |
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will be working straight for the next two weeks..no days off:( will be a bit cranky... |
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I wonder, do some of the "doms" here really think we all beleive that they are doms mere ly because they are sadistic? I say it is largely an excuse to be an asshole..and you label yourself a dominant as a smokescreen for your bad behavior..there is a huge difference between a dominant and an ass..may want to check yourself on that one. If you think to challenge me on this..I will state this..I know the difference, I had to have surgery to repair the damage done by someone who labeled themselves a dominant..when in fact, they were just an asshole with a frustration towards women...and this wasn't a flash in the pan, it was a five year association..shaking my head and feeling concern for those poor subs out there who don't know the difference yet.. |
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watching news regarding gas prices forcing grocery prices up..well..now i understand why old people eat pet food..food is the first luxury to go when you really have no other luxuries...cutting those costs are easier than some..scares me for my future when i am old... |
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Today is a good day..the best I've had in ages..my mom is doing better..I had a wonderful lunch with my children..and am able to relax and plan for better things in my life... |
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I grew up in a time when little girls wore white gloves and hats..I miss those days..long into my adult days as a young married woman, I wore gloves when it was appropriate and hats even longer, when others would give me looks..how I miss those days...the days of femininity seem to be long gone..replaced with ripped up clothing, hanging sloppily off of you, no makeup and no grooming and I find that very sad..I suppose growing up as a proper young lady and then working in the beauty industry for nearly 30 years has allowed me to continue some of those traditions against societial pressures.. |
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i cant afford to drive to work anymore..wow..this gas thing sucks |
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I actually got to sleep in this morning..and it was sooooo nice....I will be going to do hair clients..to see my mother in the hospital..then on to work for the evening...tomorrow..i will be doing things around the house..hopefully it will be nice enough outside i can do some outside things... |
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In her days..much occurs..she is swept this way and that as if she were the tides of the sea...back and forth..like that ever dancing mesmerizing sea kelp..
sometimes. the storm batters her harder and harder against the coral of life..inflicting cuts with razor sharp edges..she cries..but continues on..for her..there is no choice..He put her here.., He molded her and made her strong, yet soft..
She wonders does He think of her throughout the day..and she hears His voice..gently nudging ..reminding...reassuring her and then the tears flow..freely...she knows He holds her in His hands and there is nothing about her He does not know...He is her true Master |
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I have decided to take on a major project in fixing my home..i pulled carpeting up in a bedroom that has been down for 25 years....there are beautiful wooden floors underneath...so i am going to refinish..my bedroom..my kitchen and my livingroom floor...go me! |
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I mist in and out of lives...as they do mine...at times I wonder if Im solid..
or..am I that white fluff on a dandelion ready to disappear on the winds of change? |
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You might be hidden if your main profile pic is a body part..hello..since when does that make you dominant? Dominance starts a lot higher..and most certainly isnt determined by a swinging *ic*...sorry..its just that me, along with many others would prefer to see a face, and let the swinging be a pleasant surprise..if you feel you are just about what is in your pants..how can you possibly find the right one for you..oh..wait..unless you are only here for a hook up for sex....yeah..thats right..i said it and i will apologize to no one..have a great day among the "hidden" |
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i wake up..swing my legs off the high antique iron bed..and feet hit the wooden floor..i walk around and stand before the open double closet and stare..dresses....heels...that is what i prefer..some days i can do that..others..sadly..i have to dress warmer and less feminine..whatever it takes for the job..but i know inside..who i am and how i feel...no one can take that from me..although some have tried..i do not wish to be badgered..i am just as i appear..a human being like the rest of us...i have feelings..i have thoughts..i have wants and needs...when i am ready..i will once again take that leap..until then...just offer friendship or nothing at all.... |
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I went home and took my bath and straight to bed last night..working these hours is for the birds..training new employees..is hectic..:(...ill be glad when i can have a real day off.. |
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Thursday..I am sleeping in..going to do hair at 1230..coming home..gathering some dandelions..having a nice dandelion salad..then heading to work by 400 so i can train the new girl again... |
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taking a much need lunchbreak..and recouping from the craziness of the day so far... |
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Thinking back over the years I've been here..off and on..the many people I have talked to..we each have our own realities...there are those who have such huge egos and very narrow minds..yes..even in bdsm..narrow minds..you can either be hurt by these people with their words or their careless behavior or, you can rise above them and shine..I choose to shine..I know who I am inside and out..and no one can project their inadequacies upon me unless I allow them..to those who have hurt me either with their words..threats or neglect because I have a very interesting and rich life..I say..I will keep you in my prayers..to my true friends here..I say..lets do it!Life's too short to sweat the small stuff and small people! Sometimes, those small minded people throw away diamonds with the rock..too bad for them. |
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going to bed..the new week will be long and stressful...goodnight! He is Risen! |
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shaking my head at some of the low stooping, lazy people on here..enough said |
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i think for some reason..i am not meant to have a personal life..i feel torn in a million directions all at once..i have responsibility heaped on me that is overwhelming and i wonder..where is the accountability of other people? what precious little time i have these days..i need rest..i either push myself or i am being pushed so hard i have nothing left inside ....im really...just emotionally and physically depleted...so when i don't answer when you expect..its because i am either not here for real..or ive fallen asleep and sorely need the rest...i do not live on the net |
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Watching a show on pbs about horses..Im totally in awe of huge work horses..Icelandic horses..they are absolutely magnificent beautiful beings... |
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One day..in my lifetime..I want very much to be standing at the base of one of the pyramids..I am in total awe..wow..I guess I better hurry..I only have about twenty more years to travel...i LOVE EGYPTIAN HISTORY. |
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ok, Brandon Marshall being stabbed? wth? if a woman doesnt want to be with a man for whatever reason.be a lady and walk away..would you appreciate your son being stabbed by a female in a relationship with him only to find out she could have just walked away...have some decency..and on another note, Keenan Cahill is funny as He**. |
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He listens..and learns
She talks and teaches
He teaches, she learns
She listens..He talks
Master...and His girl |
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Locked in her tower..in silence she goes through her days..at night she brushes her hair, pulls her cotton gown over her head..lays down and escapes into dreams....smiling..for in her dreams..He has found her, He has rescued her, He has taken possession of her and she is happy.
She is freed from her tower in His hands |
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she kneels gently..in a swirl of jade green silk...her red hair let down..her skin scented with soft vanilla..dewey and fresh..
in her tiny hands she holds a key..
she looks up at Him with tears in her eyes..
"Master..i have something for you" she whispers..
she waits, He finally touches her cheek and says.".very well then little one.."
she lifts her hands and opens them..and looks in His eyes..
The key..is unseen yet felt..and he smiles...
"little one.." he says "I have waited a lifetime for this"
and He reaches to her and pulls her up onto His lap..
She has returned through the ages with the key to her soul and it is His
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to those men out there who chase and chase and once they hit it..disappear..here's to you..you really never "got" what this was about..and one day..someone will do it to your daughter, sister..mother or cousin..how does that sit with you??? too many on here are playing... |
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for some reason this morning..the thought..of moving to Valdosta, Georgia floated...interesting.. |
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Transitioning back down from a position of authority in business is sometimes torturous..i am going to bed..today i accepted one two week notice..did a new hire..tomorrow i have to do another term write up..then hopefully within the week..be doing one more new hire..I hope all have a blessed Easter weekend.... |
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just thoughts as I start my day.....all that is shiney doesn't necessarily mean it is gold..
if the inside does not match the outside...you will sorely lose..
Kindness and compassion are far shinier and worth much more than anyones net worth or their good looks..even a dominant needs to temper his personality with qualities that will draw and hold a submissive without force or fear...do not contact me and bark orders at me within minutes of getting a kind response from me..you are not worth my time nor do i consider you a real dominant...you are here merely to stroke your own ego with the feelings of submissives that deserve more...end of my morning thoughts..take them or block me. |
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her smallness in this world..also demands much strength...
like a memory..she wisps around his head like smoke curling out of a chimney on a chilled fall evening..then he looks up and a million miles away..remembering her touch..her scent..he sighs...as he falls asleep..she nestles into his lap and lays a soft white hand upon his dark skin..and becomes the beat of his heart...she has found her home....she whispers..my King...and he smiles...in dreams................. |
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The winds of change blow softly across my skin...
my eyes look...but do not see..
my soul feels..and cries out....The winds of change..... |
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sometimes..when you try to change photos here..it overlays one over the other...how odd...so you have to click one to see the other...great job cm! |
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Just a sidenote to clarify..just because I write of my King..does NOT mean..I have chosen one..I have stated clearly I am not looking for one at this point..I write what is inside..I cannot control what is there..it just is..if you do not understand or do not like my writing..then please choose to block me so you do not have to see it..thank you! |
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Sometimes...the pleasure sensors in the brain mislead...
He is my King...
My mind reacts to His body...
His body reacts to my mind...
With nary a touch..just a smile flashing from the King...
my body and mind meld into one shivering..excited, wet plaything ...
meant only for Him..
He has arrived..and Has claimed me....
(this does NOT mean I have accepted any man as my King..it was just floating around my soul.) |
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She basks in His glory..happy there is a smile on His face..
His body glistens with strength and dominance...
He profoundly affects her mind first..her body follows as if betraying her...
She looks up into His eyes and knows...He knows all about her..
His hands guide..His heart leads..Her King..there can only be one |
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Please do not message me with questions if you do not even have a profile posted..hidden profiles mean hidden motives to me..and do not assume anything about me...I have lived a lifetime of hurt and joy, I was not born last week...if you are married..please do not bother..if you want more than a friend..again..don't bother..I have nothing left to offer except friendship. |
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Repetetive bad behavior from a dominant can only yield bad, repetitive behavior in his submissive......"unknown" |
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Facetious..interesting word....meaning not to be taken seriously...so when someone says to you.."don't be facetious"...it is to be taken as.."dont be taken seriously?"...just a twist of words can mean something so different or...make no sense at all...I like words..they color my world.
Don't be Not to be taken seriously..I stand corrected..and as I hit send..that thought occurred to me...thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.. |
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Dominate: (transitive verb) meaning to rule or control
Dominant:(adjective) meaning to exercise the most influence or control
This has been a public service announcement... |
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Evidently I need to clarify..I came back to reconnect with a few of the females I had made connection with here..there are a few I choose to speak to here..that is my choice..thank you for your interest though...end of story. Have a wonderful day! |
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Restful sleep..great conversation..caramel macchiato coffee..sunshine..now my day is ready to begin... |
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First of all...do not approach me thinking you can sway me from not looking for a dominant..when He comes into my world..it will light up and I will know....
Second..I watch british comedies and laugh, yeah..I get brit comedy..
Three..I work hard and find it keeps the demons at bay so I am quite busy...
Four..Read the First one twice...please...then know..I can be a great friend..but my King hasnt arrived yet...*ok..mayhaps he has..but that is for me to know and you NOT to..laughing softly... |
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how NOT to approach me:
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hey bitch...whats going on? How did you first get interested in BDSM?
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number one MAXX01..I AM NOT YOUR BITCH..IF YOU ADDRESS ME..IT WOULD BE AS HSB..YOU DID NOT ADDRESS ME EVEN AS BYTCH WHICH IS PART OF MY ID HERE..have a nice day! |
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You say you are weary of fakes..yet...you have time and time again passed the real ones over for that little shiney gold..that ended up in the end, being fools gold..time has gone by and now the real ones have jumped off of the merri-go-round....and are gone....kinda lonely and cold..isnt it? |
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