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| We are a couple in a serious, monogamous relationship. We can't stress that enough, we aren't interested in including others be they male/female, dom/sub. We are looking for friends only (but please don't be shy to message us!). We may show pictures to close friends but they will always have faces cropped as we are both professionals.
Our interest in BDSM is only sexual. Outside of the bedroom, we treasure our equality and independence in the relationship. We are probably better described as Top/Bottom rather than Dom/Sub.
Despite having a very close relationship for 5 years, we only recently began opening up about darker fantasies. Most of these fantasies are things we like to read about or talk about, maybe even RP about, but never actually do. Some things, however, we would like to explore and we are still learning about what those are.
She has been reading erotic lit since she was a teenager and discovered the Internet. Some of these topics can be very dark. However, in bed she generally prefers romantic, movie-style sex (until recently). He fantasizes less but prefers to bring these ideas to life in the bedroom.
After 5 years of passionate but very vanilla sex, he has expressed an interest in the kinkier things. She is still struggling with guilt/shame from allowing these fantasies out of her erotic lit and into real life. Its a work in progress and we aren't sure how far we want to go.
So far we have tried a few naughty things, which have gone well:
Fingering her ass, pinning down her arms during sex, mild dirty talk.
Soon to be tried:
Scrawling (writing degrading language on her body), ageplay/dressing her up young
Tried and Did Not like:
Objects in her ass (marker)
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We are having a hard time making lasting friends on this site. The chat requests we get are usually just people offering to have sex with us. In the chatrooms, we try to converse but all the subject matter seems to be very general and superficial. We would welcome the chance to talk more in depth with friends who share our interests. |
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Long time no chat. We've been busy (not with each other sadly, but with work.
Something new has come up though.
She is going to dye her hair blonde (her own idea). I pointed out that it will make her look bimboesque. she said she would only do it if i supported. I jokingly said that we have to have sex at least once with her pretending to be a bimbo i met at a bar (which would be new for us, we never roleplay, and degrading for her). i even suggested stuffing her bra and giving her an alliterative code name like "Janet Juggs."
Not being horny at the time of discussion, she bristled at how degrading it would be (but not nearly as bristly as you would expect! More of an "Ok let's try this, but I find it degrading"). We had enough discussion on the link between love and wanting to degrade someone (they certainly seem incompatible don't they!)
I pointed out that you can judge a person's loyalty by what they would sacrifice for you. Its by far the truest measure. For a proud person like her, sacrificing that pride is a big gesture. Degrading someone you don't love, or with no self-pride, would be boring. Its not the degradation itself that a Dom loves, its the fact that the sub is willing and eager for it. For me at least, and probably many of the Dom personality, it is intimate.
Long story short, I think she finally gets it. Of course we will still have the vanilla, romantic sex frequently. It's important that she see herself as special in her own way as well as in mine. But we've turned a page and reached a new understanding. I'm looking forward to playing with "Janet Juggs." Let's see how far into the role she'll go.
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We're heading in the right direction with perversion. Found out that cumming in her in missionary position is a great carrot. Amazing what she's willing to do for it.. |
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Been a few weeks since we last updated, busy with finals.
We had a good time last night. She came upstairs, as instructed, and put on the outfit that was chosen for her without question (a big improvement for her, she's generally more stubborn!)
After some kissing/cuddling, we discovered how much she likes to have her arms pinned during sex. Sometimes small things like that set the mood, as she asked politely if she would be allowed to cum, waited for permission (a few minutes later) and finished nicely.
A little romance, a little kink = a good time.
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We seem to be stuck on her pride a bit. Though she likes to read the erotic lit (about 15 min a month, quick time with the vibrator), she's hesitant to expand or explore. "I don't want to be one of THOSE people." she says. haha. Some shame and maybe a bit of fear of opening Pandora's box.
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A fun night of progress. Prompted by a kinky dream she had (in which she was nude and being spanked at his command by a woman meant to represent his business partner or wife, despite her being the girlfriend), we decided to get a bit playful. We went into separate rooms and turned on the webcam, with him being in charge of the action and her being "cam whore," taking orders (the camera made the situation more surreal, less unnerving for her). He was supportive in kind rather than demeaning, which she seems to prefer. She put on a titilating show with a pair of small dildos that led to some very hot, gratifying sex for both. She was so excited she asked for 2 fingers in her ass during sex (completely out of character for her). An orgasmic time was had by all.
I don't think either of us want every time to be like this, but it was certainly fun to try out. There is definitely some sub in her somewhere, though pretty well buried. Baby steps. |
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Having trouble using orgasm denial as a training tool. More than a handful of minutes of waiting on the edge causes her to lose the orgasm which can be quite frustrating. For a girl prone to trantrums, that frustration is an issue. Anyone have experience with this? |
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