I've checked-out many profiles on BDSM websites and ads posted on Craigslist. There are too many amateurs and wannabes, ill-informed, misinformed, ignorant, sexual deviants. They're not dominates--they're insecure misogynists who lack maturity and self-discipline. BDSM is a lifestyle based on trust and communication that binds (pun intended) couples closer together because they communicate.

 

How about a Dom and his sub mixing things up. Try being playful. Explore each other's bodies. How about giving her a Yoni massage or doing something like Tantra that's outside your comfort zone.

 

It's my nature to be on top and exercising total sexual control over my sub. I spank and flog her sensually to heighten a her senses and intensify her orgasms through her mind and body. Subs are not passive. They all possess an inner goddess who, if the Doms were not so insecure, would see her appear from time-to-time. I see this goddess in her eyes. 

 

The moment when I'm truly her Dom is not when I'm spanking or flogging her (that's foreplay or role play). The moment comes when I'm holding her after she's lost consciousness following an emotional orgasm. It's when she's trembling in my arms and I'm planting feather kisses on her tears, lips, cheeks, and forehead. It's when she's resting and I show respect for her modesty by covering us both with a blanket. It's when I pull her on top of me and lightly stroke her flawless skin with my finger tips. It's lying in bed with my warm body pressed against hers, so she feels safe and protected.

 

I know not every BDSM or D/s couple thinks like me. Some never deviate from their agreed roles. There's no romance, no dating, no festivals, and no hot springs or hot air balloons. They may be married to other persons (I don't judge). They both enjoy this lifestyle. It's a release for them. They play by the rules, part, and go their merry ways until they meet again. 

There are better ways to experience this lifestyle than being mistreated and abuse.  Never settle.