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My Master monitors all my mail! I am not allowed to talk to any doms or dommes! All mail from doms or dommes goes to the trash!
I am currently looking for friends to talk with. I am new to the RL/LTR/Live In situation. Have a great day! :)
Also I am looking for the right female sub for me and Master to have fun with from time to time!
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I just read a profile that contained something like this:
I have been known to push limits just to see how far you will let me go. Once I know my limits and know you will take action if I break those limits then I won't push them again. I will however find any loophole that you might leave open for me.
This is SO me. I'm never trying to be disobedient, but it's really no different than a child seeing where they stand and how much they can get away with. I know I push, sometimes, without realizing I'm doing it, however, I will always stop when I am told to stop. I also don't mind being put in my place. Sometimes I'll even push just so I can be put in my place. :) It gives me a very pleasant feeling... Yummy! :P
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So... I think between yesterday morning and this current moment I have been knocked down SO many notches and it has landed me where I want to be. :) Feeling VERY happy, VERY submissive, and VERY devoted to fulfilling my Master's needs. Doesn't a happy submissive equal a happy Dom? I think so. I still feel that discipline or punishment should be resorted to before trying to end the relationship especially when those options (discipline or punishment) have NOT been used yet, but that's just my opinion. I think it would be more effective in regards to my overall and longer term mental state and well being, but things are good for now, so we can only see what happens in the future. |
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So, things are looking better, however, I got an e-mail from a very wise person and I thought I would just like to state it here and admit my stupidity up front...
So here I am complaining and whining about all the things that I want and though I know, I fail to admit to myself that the basis of these problems are not just life itself, but that my Master has started a new job and I should know just as well as anyone that it's a big adjustment and can be draining.
Someone told me:
If that is in fact his issue, then you might need to really make yourself focus on him and make his life as easy as possible for him. You may be able to help him by taking care of issues outside of his work life for him, so that when he is home he can de-stress and focus on things with you.
Then after reading that e-mail I felt sooo guilty. Shouldn't I, as the submissive, have realized that if my Master is stressed the best thing for me to do is to be good and take care of everything that He needs me to take care of plus some in order to make Him less stressed? Then after He has adjusted to the new job talk to Him about my concerns if things didn't return to normal and start to progress. Wouldn't that have been the submissive, common sense, mature, obvious thing to do? Oh boy do I feel stupid now! I especially feel stupid because I am at home all day to do His bidding and still wasn't. :(
Maybe when my impulsiveness kicks in I should ask for advice before making a stupid mistake if I am incapable of making good judgement calls on my own.
Hmmm... the things we learn... |
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Things are OK again and I feel blissful. I can't be more thankful and I am trying really hard to be good for Him. I had a wonderful weekend with Him and can't express in words how happy that makes me! :) |
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I don't have much to say when I am not confused or feeling insecure, but I would like to say I want to cum soooo badly! Orgasm control started this past Friday and I'm dying! I did cum a lot this weekend, wasn't able to control it, got punished, then was able to control it... barely... Ugh. I was allowed to have an orgasm last night because I had a really bad day Monday. I shouldn't need to cum again so soon, but I am used to having an orgasm a MINIMUM of once a day and usually more! :( This is hard. I enjoy how it makes me feel mentally, but definitely not physically.
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Yay!! I am ready for another blissful weekend with Him. :) I'll be sure to answer all e-mails from my new friends when I get home on Sunday. Hope every one has a wonderful weekend!
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It is an absolutely wonderful, glorious, amazing day! I feel like my happy, even temperament, self again. I find out today if I get to see Him this weekend. If the answer is yes then my day will have turned out perfect! If the answer is no... well... I'm going to try to not be so disappointed because there is always next weekend and that will be even better!! ;) |
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OMG! I feel soooo much better. I found what I needed. Submissive friends are the best! :) Thanks to everyone who sent mail. It made me feel 100% better just reading it! I need someone to share thoughts, desires, views, and intellect with. I am so close with my vanilla friends, talking (mostly texting) every day, and I realized I was so sad that I could not tell them the feelings I was having. I couldn't tell anyone, except Him, and sometimes I don't think that's such a good idea. I get a little annoying and overbearing at times and my OCD just makes it that much worse. Being away from Him is hard; this online stuff is hard; not being able to really live this real life every day is hard. I need someone who understands and who I can complain to and exchange feelings with. I am so glad I realized that because I feel normal again. I know I'll sleep well tonight! Good night everyone!
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So... Well... Hmmm... I feel so ridiculous today it isn't even funny. I only feel the way I do now during the first couple weeks of winter... I'm so confused. :( Freaking emotional breakdown. WTF? I need to pull this shit together before I go insane. I think the major issue is my ex. Then there is not getting to talk to Him much today aside from a few texts, but good God what do I expect? I don't really know. I think at this point in time I just feel really insecure. Like if I am not reassured regularly by Him that things are OK, then they aren't... Does that make any sense? What do I think He is going to do? Not talk to me for a day and then forget about me? I guess I also feel like when I do things wrong and upset Him that He doesn't want me anymore. Maybe I have a lifestyle complex. It just seems like things would be so much easier in real life. Who knows. OK, enough with the rambling...
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AAAGGGHHHRRR.... Whew... I stupidly posted a picture on my profile without asking. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I'm mad at myself because the thought didn't even cross my mind to ask Him if I could do that and that is so unlike me. Then I mouthed off to Him last night over IM (I think as a result of PMS). My problem lies in the fact that I get too brave on IM and I can't read His expressions to know if I'm getting close to the line. I found out I was going to get punished for disrespecting Him the next time I visit and so I slept horribly from having that hanging over my head and now I'm exhausted. Then I texted Him this morning and went straight to my concerns instead of telling Him good morning. Then I actually asked if I was allowed to talk to other Doms. What kind of question is that? I don't even have a DESIRE to talk to other Doms. Of course the answer was no. Why would I ask that? Where in the hell has my brain been the past 12 hours? Sigh... Oh, then to top it off I guess we already talked about me not being allowed to talk to other Doms before. How do I forget that? His memory is so good! Ugh... so I'm having a horrible day and just can't wait until it's over. When you aggravate your Dom to the point of discipline there has to be something wrong! I feel sick. I feel like I need to be disciplined to make myself feel better. Is that normal? I've never done this in real life so I'm having all these feelings that I've never had before and there are so many emotions involved! Even when I found this lifestyle all I had was a Mentor. It was nothing like this really. I love this so much more and it is great and I know will get to my goal, but I just feel like I'm on a rollercoaster sometimes!! |
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Hmmm... so I feel refreshed although I didn't sleep as well as I would have liked last night. I also feel a renewed sense of motivation for working toward achieving my goal(s). I guess I just needed to sleep on it. My ex and I talked last night... Blah... He told me how sorry he was for everything. He told me that he's never been in a relationship where he was the only one at fault. He apologized profusely and told me that he knew I tried so hard and how I did everything right and he did everything not right. Not sure what the point was there. I told him that I forgave him a long time ago and we just needed to move past this and start fresh on our own. I told him he never gave himself time to heal after each serious girlfriend and maybe he should find himself and become well for his daughter as that should be his main focus. He agreed. I, on the other hand, have always known what I wanted and who I am at heart. Now it's just a matter of getting there. :) |
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Tonight I feel a little sad and a little lost and I'm not positively sure why. I guess I was previously focusing on day to day activities and tasks and something made me see a bigger picture and I got overwhelmed. I HATE it when my OCD overrides everything that I know to be right and irrationality takes it's place. Are my goals obtainable? Of course they are. Are my goals easy? I guess that depends on the perspective. When I look at the main individual goal it discourages me and makes me disgusted with myself even though I know well what is required to reach this goal. When I analyze the goal and see it in the aspect of a ratio of what the goals are to how much I want this then no, they aren't are difficult. I also think I am coming down from a high from being with Him all weekend. Isn't that horrible? This is a lifestyle, not a drug, but how is it my fault that my body and brain seems to interpret it as a drug? That can't be my fault. I can't control that. Can I? Is it bad to crave it this much? I guess not if it helps to achieve the goals more quickly. Everything is telling me not to take this to an extreme, but I think my OCD is going to end up taking me to that extreme. As much as I have thought about this tonight... I don't think there's any going back. Ok, when what I am saying probably only makes sense to me, I think that's a signal to sign off... Good night!
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So... this Sunday night finds me well and super excited. I had a delightful and blissful weekend with Him. It was amazing and new and surprisingly comfortable. I love it! The all encompassing TPE is totally what I am looking for, that I am sure of. I feel so much more secure and in my element when someone else is making the decisions and is telling me what they want and expect from me. I am a people pleaser, I always have been. When I am dealing with someone who is indecisive, well, it just downright makes me nervous. I like how He just makes the decisions and everything just falls into place. I enjoy that, I relish that, that makes me totally and completely blissful. I just want to live this again and again everyday and it's so hard for me to stay away. I HATE leaving. I feel like I am leaving a piece of me. I am a very traditional person and I believe in traditional roles. I enjoy a male dominated relationship in every sense of the term and I need that guiding force to feel safe. I'm exploring a lot of feelings I've never had before. When I'm with Him I feel like nothing else in the entire world matters except for that very second in time. Coming out of a very abusive, 6 year, vanilla relationship, this is like a gift from God. I got an entire weekend with no one yelling at me, no one breaking things, not having to walk on eggs shells, just doing what I know is right and whatever it was He told me to do. How much simpler can it get? Oh, aside from all the mushy stuff... I have my first welts. :( AND THEY HURT! It definitely reinforced the roles and took me down a few notches. It also made me NEVER want to experience that paddle again, which was it's intention just as He said. Note to self: never do anything to get really punished for! Ugh. :)
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Ok, so surprisingly... I slept great last night. My brain was really excited, but I think it knew I needed to be prepared to see Him tonight. :) I can't wait! Now I still have 45 minutes before leaving for work and I thought about sleeping more, but I'm too excited now!
Note to self: NEVER take DayQuil on an empty stomach. I took some this morning around 5a when I woke up and got in the shower. (I haven't eaten since 11a yesterday, so that's a REALLY empty stomach) and it felt like acid in my stomach. Ugh.
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OMG! My week just did a complete 180 degree turn around. Everything worked out PERFECTLY. I get to see Him this weekend. My side job for this weekend was canceled, my friend is taking care of some errands for me, and I am in heaven! I'm leaving tomorrow after work. Now all I have to worry about is rush hour traffic. Oh, and to top it all, I might get Monday off of work! :) I am a little anxious because I think that this weekend is going to bring a lot of new, but welcomed, experiences! Yay! Now off to bed because I have to get up extra early to ensure everything is ready!
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First and foremost I need to say that this is a JOURNAL! If you are unfamiliar with what that term means I have included a definition. It is as follows:
Journal - a daily record, as of occurances, experiences, or observations.
I am allowed to say what I want, when I want on this feature unless HE tells me otherwise! This is for MY benefit and MY self exploration. If you don't like it, don't read it and don't respond negatively to it or I will block you. Simple as that.
So... Now that that's out of the way. I just had an interesting conversation with a vanilla friend and how I wish that could tell her what was really going on. Here is our conversation:
Her: Hi! How are things?
Me: Amazing! How's the baby?
Her: Great. I wish we could find out the gender sooner though.
Me: It'll happen soon enough!
Her: How's B taking the break-up?
Me: Well... I guess as well as can be expected.
Her: How's the Michigan man? (Haha, I had to laugh at her for this. If only she knew the truth...)
Me: Do you think it's possible to know this soon that you found the right person? I think of being with B another second and it makes me sick. I think of marrying him and having kids with him and my stomach turns. What was I thinking? (I so wish I could tell her I'm not vanilla! I bet she wouldn't even know what that mean though!)
Her: I do think it's possible. I knew R and I were going to end up together. I didn't think about marrying him so much but I knew I wanted him to be the father of my children. (OK, so she's kind of unconventional. I would very much prefer to be married before I have kids actually, but to each their own)
Me: There is just something about him. It's so hard to explain. The second I stepped into his house and he hugged me I just knew. (I didn't tell her that I knew I would do anything to please him and for him to allow me to be owned by him! That would have been awkward.) I thought I knew the first couple of times I talked to him, but I knew I had to meet him to be sure. I instantly felt safe and secure and comfortable like I just came home. I didn't want to ever leave! I just felt like I should already be there and I had always known him. It was a very different feeling. I feel like I need him, like he is the other half of my soul. This is so stupid...
Her: It doesn't sound stupid, but it doesn't sound like you either at all! Am I talking to my best friend here? Hello? You are always impulsive, but not with the really big stuff. You have talked to a lot of people on that site (OK, so she doesn't know EXACTLY which site. She just thinks it's a personals site!) and you have never said anything like this at all. I guess you probably thought I had lost my mind when I met R though...
Me: The funny thing is that I did a search for profiles in Columbus and he came up even though there was NOTHING related to Columbus in his profie... I wanted to message him and I was totally intrigued, but I didn't because I knew he was 3-4 hours away. I was upset because his profile was close to perfect. Less than 10 mins later he messaged me... Weird?
Her: Hmmm... Weird coincidence. I know it isn't like you at all, but just go with it. It'll be a great story for you to tell in the future.
True conversation! If only she knew the half of it! |
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That was the most HORRIBLE night ever. My throat has been hurting for several days. It's been scratchy and dry. Last night all I did was cough and sneeze. My nose won't stop running and I am congested. I have tremendous pressure in my ears and I feel like my head is going to explode. WTF? This better go away ASAP! On the brighter side... got a message from Him this morning. :) It made the night not seem so bad! It was nice to wake up to my phone beeping with a message rather than my stupid alarm clock. I couldn't have slept another 40 minutes anyway. I am too congested. Not to mention... I have begged my ex every winter since we moved into this house to put plastic on the windows and after three winters it still isn't done. He turned the heat down last night too. I am now sleeping alone since I broke up with him and I thought I was going to freeze to death last night. I woke up and it was about 58 degrees in my bedroom! Just because he is sleeping next to the gas logs doesn't mean I am! Sheesh! Maybe I should be happy that he's letting me have the bed since it is his... I think I'd rather sleep on the couch than be cold though. Grrr... I REALLY hope this day gets better. Oh, also to counter act that negative note with a positive one... I am still absolutely LOVING my highlights!!! When I had them done they straightened my hair. She did it because she said that I would be able to see the highlights better. I washed my hair last night and let it go curly and the blonde is WAY more blonde and WAY more noticible, LoL. I love, love, love it! OK, off to work in about 20 mins!
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I love, love, love this journal! I'm definitely the one to express my feelings through words. It is so calming. So... I haven't gotten to talk with Him yet tonight. :( It makes me feel empty. If it makes me feel this empty this early then what am I going to feel later? I have talked to so many Doms on here it's ridiculous and I have not felt like this. Is it possible to just know in your heart when the right one comes along? It is possible that the feelings surface so immediately for a submissive? I haven't talked to many other submissives, but maybe I should. I feel the utmost need to reach out and do whatever it takes to be allowed to submit to Him. Why as a submissive do I need so much more attention than in a vanilla relationship? I guess when your decision making ability is taken from you and you know your heart lies with another person, you need that part of you to feel whole. I think that's why today was more excruciating than a day back to work after a week should have been. All I could think about was talking to him tonight, hoping that He would allow me to see Him next weekend, and trying to focus on the here and now for Him. I even had questions that pertained to now instead of a future that was undetermined! It was a difficult conversation for me last night because I kept jumping to the future and asking why when I should have been focusing on what I needed to do to get there. I was mentally exhausted and I was looking forward to a more relaxing conversation tonight. Hmmm... I guess it is what He decides it is. I am going to attempt to pass time before I have to go to bed. Oh, and hope I get to talk to Him! :)
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So... when I was in high school and all my friends were drinking, and trying drugs, and staying out late, and dating... I was being mentored by a Master. Boy was that confusing, LoL.
"Discovery"
Drawing half circles in the sand
Making dirty angels in the snow
Waking up each and every morning
Wondering how the day is going to go
Screaming at the world
Life's never going to be fair
Stomping my feel like the child
I say that I don't want to be
The tears pour like rain
They will not stop, they will not cease
Wonder why and what I've done
I took advantage of the freedom I did not want
Following Your guidance and taking advice
Head spinning, won't stop, make it go away
Trying to focus on what's important
The two lives only split more and more everyday
The more I try to make amends
The more I need to not be free
This part of my soul will never change
Will never be what they want it to be
I've taken so much from You
No clue what to give in return
Stop, look, listen
I'm more than ready to learn
I need something promising, long lasting
Take me as Yours, keep me always
Thank You for being there, for caring
You own my heart, mind, body, and soul
I trust soon those circles will become whole
Never to be washed clean by the waves
Those angels will become perfect
And you will make into one of the best slaves
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I wrote this about the day I thought I would lose my virginity to a Master, however, damn vanilla relationship got in the way again. :P
"White Sheets"
Standing in the middle of a room
Lights dim, quiet house, bed ready
You reach for me, pull me close
Kiss my forehead, then my lips
My neck, my breasts, down my stomach
Hold on to me, never let go
Demand my shirt over my head
Slid your hand over my curves
Run Your fingertips between my thighs
Glide my skirt to the floor
Exposed for you to see
Lean to me, whisper in my ear
Call me sweetness, tell me it's alright
Let me trust, let me believe
White sheets, clean, innocent
Arousing, sweet, meaningful
Take care of me, I'll be good for You
Hold on to me, never let go
Virginity gone, taken by you
My Master, the one who knows what's best for me
Let me trust, let me believe
White sheets, exposed, experienced
Can't cover it up; let's do it again
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Ok... so today was mediocre just for the simple fact this was my first day back to work in a week! I have more poems to share. :) Enjoy!
"Without You What Am I?"
A sad little girl stranded in the rain
A child standing all alone
A submissive attempting to find her place
A slave with no Master to call her own
I am a single grain of sand on a beach
I need Your guidance to instruct my turns
Here's my hand, I'm ready, I'm willing
Take me over, help me to learn
I'm a small raindrop in a thunderstorm
Catch me in Your palm, don't let me go
I need your dominance, you need my submissiveness
Train me to never say no
I am a solitary rose in a garden
Pick me, love me, savor me
Discipline, reprimand with love
Open my eyes to the world, allow me to see
I am one flickering flame in a blaze
You are the center which starts the fire
I need You to be there, I need You to understand
Serving You is my heart's only desire
Without You what am I?
A lost girl with no one to please
A soul without a Dominant to help it mature
A submissive confused to no end
A slave without a Master to live for
Master, guide me, train me, catch me, love me, savor me, discipline me
understand, I am Yours
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Wow... I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night because my brain was going crazy; however, I do feel refreshed and I am ready to resume my normal routine. I am also ready to try this mind set thing again today now that my head is clear. Oh how I wonder what the new day will bring! Have a good one everyone!
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I love this one! I was still a virgin and had absolutely no real life experience when I wrote this!
"The Touch"
The touch of my Master's hand
Gentle, but firm, just as his demands
Across my cheek, through my hair
I stand quietly, quivering, more than I can bare
Down my body, pausing at my breasts
Trembling, shaking, the exploration continues nonetheless
Tracing my stomach, down to my thighs
Wondering what He thinks of my squealing and sighs
Between my legs, enticing, teasing, please stop
He doesn't quit, doesn't give it one thought
He's aroused me just enough
There it is, there it goes, my body goes numb from his touch
Can't release the tension, I have to hold it in
No, no, there's that touch again
He won't give me what I want, what I need
From this torment I need to be freed
Freed, released without permission onto the bed
I feel myself become flushed, white to red
He lifts my face as I attempt to look down
I'm tired, I'm weak, I don't make a sound
Loving, caring, demanding, controlling, gentle, yet firm
He's teaching, He's training, I need to learn
He lifts me off the bed, telling, instructing me to stand
I obey, attentive, anxious for him to reprimand
Standing, waiting, I continue to anticipate what's next
Whatever it is, I am ready, keep going, don't let me rest
Make me work for rewards, punish me when I need
I trust you, go ahead, teach me I plead
Touch me, love me, don't allow me to give in
I will not triumph, I do not desire to win
You are the Master, and I the slave, you hold the control
I will be obedient, I need you, submissiveness is my soul.
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Well, my brain is so full that I could explode. I am a little overwhelmed and a little frustrated, but at least I know where I want and need to be. My mental state is tired right now from asking so many questions and thinking about what is going on in my head. I think I am also a little exhausted from trying to recondition my thinking from control freak to slave, but it is what I must do. I am "under consideration" and it's killing me. I've always been that control freak person dying to lose it all to the right person, but it is still difficult. I barely even know what under consideration means aside from the obvious. All I know is that I want to do his bidding and please him as much as possible. It's hard for me to focus on the here and now and not think to the future. I must do this though in order to achieve the ultimate goal of being owned. I just need to do as I am told and wait. Does anyone else out there have OCD? You MUST know how difficult this is, however, you probably know that as a sub it is an essential part of the process. I just keep telling myself that I know what my conditions are and I need to achieve them in order to reach my goal. Not so hard right? I guess not if I want it badly enough and oh how I do. Here's a poem that doesn't really relate to anything in particular going on in my current life. :)
"Always"
The pain in my heart is more visible than ever
I hope that you don't notice, that you won't see
I drop to my knees and scream for help
I need this part of my soul to make me complete
I'm counting the days til that time
The minutes sweep me off my feet
I try to go back to when it was easy
Never again will that satisfy my needs
I denied the truth, that never works
But I can't pretend everything makes sense
I'm confused, I'm lost
Which path do I choose?
It's a vicious cycle
Spins me around and around
The more I get
The more I want, it won't slow down
I need more to feed off of
It's an addiction
It doesn't go away
It can't be ignored
I can't jump off
I can't stay on
Someone help me please
Help me to understand my heart
Let me accept who and what I am
Bring me to peace with myself
Allow me to learn, change, and grow
Permission granted to submit
Living two separate lives
Struggling to hold onto both
Physically, mentally exhausted
Feelings that can't be explained
This is all of me
This is what makes me complete
Not just sometimes or just one part
All of the time, the whole, every part, every day
Calm me, reassure me
I can do this if I try
If You will be there, You will see
I need You, I need this; it is my life
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OMG! I was just digging through some old papers and came across poems that I wrote when I first found the lifestyle. I thought maybe I would share them on here. I was only like 14-16 years old when I wrote these so be nice! LoL.
"SubSpace"
Intelligent, intellectual, a mind of her own
Need her Master's hand, His reprimands
His guidance, advice, and thoughts
her submission, willingness, and desires
Can anything compare?
The softest whisper, the most visible response
A shudder, a chill, a quiver of breath
His fingertip traces her body
Sigh, not to stop, never
Thoughts running through her mind
They all go blank, disperse
Scatter onto the floor
Gone, into a mental slave state
She has reached that point
Of pure bliss
Nothing can take her away
He has all the power
Nothing can break her concentration
On Him, except Him.
Hmmm... I can't believe I entered into a 6 year vanilla relationship to begin with...
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Wow- what a weekend! My head is going crazy for the simple fact that I know exactly what I want and I am pushing through to that goal. The biggest step I took was telling the bf, now ex, that I was done. Amazing. I can't believe I did it. I am in awe. The second big step? Meeting with someone who entertains my same views on the lifestyle. I guess there are people out there who are honest and do need this 24/7. So many Doms message me and agree to go 24/7. It doesn't work that way. You have to need it, want it, require it. After a relationship becomes consensual I am the one who is supposed to agree to things that I may not have agreed to when you were not my Dominant. I just have so many great thoughts on my brain. I think the biggest one is that I had a strap used on me this weekend and only for a short period of time, but I was in pure heaven. I couldn't believe how good it felt. My head was removed from the situation to where I wasn't focused on being hit, but focused on the fact that I was being used for another person's pleasure. I can't not wait for that to happen again! I did so little this weekend yet I learned so much about myself and really the feelings that I expected to have when I met someone real, I had. I wasn't thinking, "Oh my God is this ever (conversation or otherwise) going to end?" like I have been thinking with some others. I have met one person who I just wanted to laugh at every time they said something. LoL. I knew when I met someone that was real (if it existed) I would feel empowered to succeed to him and do as he wanted. I can't jump the gun here, but I am just stating that I KNOW what I want is out there. Wouldn't it be nice to have found it already, but that's a little quick so I just have to wait things out and hope and see what happens. If things don't work out in my favor... well, I have faith that there is someone else out there who wants what I want. This weekend just made me really confirm that I am making the right decision to leave a vanilla relationship. Period.
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Wow... things have changed in my head although they probably won't change in real life for awhile...
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I have been trying to respond to everyone out of courtesy; however, I have gotten some pretty rude responses to me turning people down, therefore if you don't meet my stated requirements or I feel like we wouldn't be a match, I will simply delete your message. If you see that I have read your message and not responded and you try to contact me again, I will block your messages. Also, if you don't like my ad, move on. I am sure you have better things to do than harass me when you know you don't want to meet me anyway. Have a nice day.
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Got a slew of e-mails from people not fitting my requirements. Just because I have requirements doesn't mean I am a domme or a fake. I am very specific as to what I am seeking and I do not claim to be anything more.
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