I should probably add, for those of you wondering...there is testosterone flowing through these veins...so be warned.

Not that it is a problem, but not wanting to take the unwary by surprise...you may encounter an actual man, an educated and refined one at the least...but a man none-the-less...and doomed to a man's reactions to life as it comes...though again, with thought...

Male hormones may direct this soul's path, but it does not dictate the path.

You have been warned.

Have to say that my favorite things in life are...not just likes and not just fancies...things that actually make me feel life...alive...

My son...

Mazzy Star's music...

kissing...no, that's not right...

kissing my Love...no, that's not right either...

deep kisses with my love that melt us into one another...

nag champa insense...

a caring massage...

the occasional beer...

a secret and loving message...

walking--while holding hands...

peanut butter...

unreflection...

a cold dinner saved for me when I have worked late...

flowers, not picked, just sniffed...

a good story, either told or read...

singing...especially with a lover for duet...

a good friend to spend the dreary hours of life with...

being held at night when it is cold...

being held at night when it is warm...

nature...

love...

life...

A submissive or slave would fit nicely into this home...however, having said that... 

Never was one to take relationships lightly, or to pursue the one-nighters.  Especially now that I am nearing 40, I would like to have a real family.  I have a son, nine, who is the best kid I have ever known...but he has no mother.  No brother or sister...just me. 

I am not looking for a mother for my son, and I am not wanting a babysitter...

A family does not mean my love and I would have more children, nor does it mean we wouldn't.  A family is what it becomes, and in that, a committed, life-long relationship is what is missing.

I would not mind another child or children...but would not be sad if none came along.  What is really missing is that place in the world we all search for.  Some lucky ones find it...when they find and stay with someone they love, and feel love from.

Not just sex...not just Dom and Master or submission and slavery...not just a live-in partner...

A real family.  Of course, the idea is there...but the actual concept might be too foreign and antiquated to mean anything today.

Well, there's my weakness and kryptonite out for all to see.  Have fun with it.

A WAKE UP CALL...

As if it needs said, though it never seems to cross the minds of most, no matter which part of the spectrum they inhabit...

..."make me...," "...shape me...,"  "...force me..."

Yeah, good ideas, and fun at times, but we are talking about the twenty-first century of the currently-counted era of man.  Were this a thousand years or more ago, hell, even one-hundred years ago, I would be able to take what I want and not worry about the designs of my charge, her desires or motivations...

Been getting alot of mail about what-ifs, lately...

...as well as how-to inquiries. 

So hard to put it all down, because it is so simple.  We have political correctness, we have tolerance, we have acceptance (to a degree), and we also have appeasement in our society.  Obviously, these ideals have no place in a modern M/s relationship, but I keep encountering the diverse reactions to common questions that prospects seem to be asking these days.

Maybe I am old (there is that misnomer again...lol)...though I doubt it, and maybe I am just too set in my ways...

No, this old dog keeps learning those new tricks, and is pretty hopeful for the promise and future of mankind, if we can keep from killing ourselves before we finally wake up...

No...it is simple understanding of the key element of the relationship of the Dominant/submissive, Master/slave as pertains to the times that we live in.

Gonna drag you into my cave after I have whacked your melon senseless and use you, beaten, until you learn your place and submit to the inevitable? No, not my speed, and do not understand what the press on it is all about, lately.

Have been receiving some disturbing mails from (and seemingly confirmed, to the best of my lazy ability when boredom sets in) "experienced" and otherwise, subs and slaves claiming that they want occlusion, kidnap, complete slavery and "please, consider me as i am not the type to back down,"  no-limits, do-me types.  Very little time spent in most cases to weed them out, though a bit more in the more intense ones, reveal that these are princesses wanting a fantasy, not a real life...

Case in point...a few years back, I had a little princess fron NYC come live with me.  I took almost a year to communicate, chat, mail, video talk/games/etc., and form an understanding with this girl to ensure that she was legitimate and not playing out some fantasy.  We had visits, introductory sessions and what seemed to be a straight-forward and in-depth, ongoing dialogue about reasons, means, expectations and outcomes.  Then she came to live-in.  Perfect for six months...

Let us take a minute.  If you have read this far, you will know that I am not interested in flighty or innane bimbos with not a whit of wit about them...hell, you may be in a coma now and reading in a boredom-induced trance...in which case, I am thirsty, I need a drink, water would be nice, you want to get me a glass of water, water with ice in it, you want to get me a glass of water with ice in it, you see yourself getting up and going to the refrigerator and getting...lol

We had six months of the perfect relationship, and...  As one might imagine, things changed.  Back to her place for a visit...first time I was ever there...

I own a three story victorian with a basement...my house would fit in the living room of the house where she was raised.

After our visit, she asked what I thought of her home...

"Your home is there or with me?"  She knew what I meant.

No answer.

Arriving home, our relationship took on a surprisingly, and obviously different, shall we say...tone...?  I was no longer understood, I was questioned.  Obedience became whining, then bargaining, then threatening...

Same relationship, same people, same rules for both.  What changed?

Was it missing the palace? Friends? Family?  Cannot think it so, as there were numerous visits back and forth.  Could it have been the money?  Maybe, but never been that rich, so could not say, and thought life/commitment/commonalities/love might make a difference...

Could go on about that fubar situation...but that was the funniest bit of this experience...this one.  Daddy wanted to sue me for corruption/abuse/whatever of his daughter, but as tech-savvy old-timers are, I had kept records of our conversations, emails and the like.  Once these were seen, there was really no reason for him to continue in his litigation attempts.

That was the real princess...the princess wannabes have an entirely different file, and this journal entry is getting long enough.

It isn't about control.

It isn't about obediance.

It isn't about Dom/sub, Master/slave.

It isn't about pain.

It isn't about sacrifice.

It isn't about enduring...

It is about Want...

Want is a transitory thing.  Last week I wanted chili...all freaking week.  Had it twice.  Now, not so much.  BUT...

My mental state does not change, nor do my sexual leanings.  I know that wants are transitory, and yet they are what drive us and make us who we are.  There are however, two kinds of wants.  Since it has already been established that wants are transitory let us think of them the same as memory...long term and short term.

Short term wants are those we have at the moment, they change, from moment to moment...you want a soda, you want to nap, you want to go for a walk, or eat a taco...

Long term wants are those that stick with us and form our identities.  They help us persue that which we cannot deny and that which we wish to become...I may have been Dom/Master for however long, but I don't think that is going to change, unlike my taste in music which changes every day.

I am not going to get descriptive here, as I think I have written enough.

Sometimes, the lead-up is enough... 

Someone, who can identify and  work from there, to a rational conclusion of what "lifestyle" actually means, should definately consider correspondence...

No, I do not wear armour, I do not fight dragons, and I do not have a castle...

But I do know what's real.        

I have been asked to talk about what I like in life and sex from my sub/slave, what rituals and training regimines are used and what punishments I tend to favor, so I will give a little detail in those areas...nothing too deep, though, as there has to be some mystery.  So, here is the tip of the iceburg...

In life, as I have stated before, I am usually busy working in the shop and doing other things that I am responsible for.  At the end of the day, or on my time off, if I am not relaxing, then I like to take my mate/lover/sub/slave/woman out to watch her dance.  To me, not only is this very entertaining and erotic, but it also allows for her to be seen and approached, which can be a great thing when it comes to meeting people I may allow to use her.
I enjoy archery, canoe trips, camping, hiking, walking everyday, riding bicycles, darts, pool, watching football sometimes and alot of other things.  I am not into anything cold, except for drinks, and food, and though I may get a bit of cabin fever in the winter, it is much preferable to freezing my nards into retreat.  Summer is my favorite time of year, and bikinis are much better than the shiniest, bulky winter coats, anyday.
My sub/slave will accommodate these activities, accompanying me to them and participating as able.  No, she would not be required to carry a canoe by herself, and we are not going to take 20 mile hikes with her naked and in high heels...let's be realistic.  In all vanilla activities, we would be as partners on the outside, knowing full well our basic cores remain in effect.  She will be just as attentive, just as concerned for my comfort and well-being, and just as submissive/subserviant as always...just cloaked and hidden from casual public view.

In sex, which was touched upon earlier as well, I am usually more creative, imaginative and quality pursuant than one who desires more frequency and less depth in their relations.  Don't get me wrong, as sometimes the beast just rages and wants some morning, noon and night.  Though we like to keep him caged up here at the zoo, so as not to frighten the squeemish.  Mostly, since I usually work at home, I like for her to come in occasionally, bring me a drink, keep me desirous of her though conversations laced with inuendo, a flash here and there, a nice groping, then back to work...I like to be kept sexually charged all day, so that in the evening, the desire really means something, and the thoughts in my head from the day can be realized as I saw them.  I like to plan it in my head, as I explore my thoughts, work, moods and feelings throughout the day, and I thrive on coming up with new situations...though I have a few of my old favorites I can't seem to get enough of as well.
Usually, unless I get distracted and amused with another activity, oral sex, as trained, is a great way to begin the evening.  That being said, another reason I like to be kept sexually charged all day is that it has always taken me a ridiculous amount of time to orgasm, if I have not been excited.  If I have been aroused and kept interested all day, or there is a desire from her for something she knows I really like, or if there is discipline or ritual to take care of...it may only take me a few hours...if not, be prepared for a long night.  Speaking of doing things as trained, such a training regimine would consist of the following:  oral, anal, rituals, positions, and service both domestic and sexual, and will be discussed below with rituals.
As far as activities go, the methods I prefer are simple, and rarely do I get into intricate shibari or other restraints, though I have my moments.  Much of the time, though not always the case, I enjoy the restrained sub/slave to be forced to orgasm as much as possible.  There isn't (99% of the time) usually a set number in my head, but I tend to go until I am satisfied, and she is spent.  While this pleasure is being given to her, she can/may/will be tormented, used by myself, toys and other instruments, subject to elec. devices, punished if warrented, and tortured if that is my mood. Once I think she has had enough, that is when I usually start getting serious about my escalation and my final use of her begins before she swallows...which will happen every time, unless at some time I desire to breed her.  I do enjoy seeing her used well by trusted others also, and we will both take time to seek these people out for my entertainment of seeing her with singles, couples, groups and in gangbang situations.  These other trusted people, since they are, will or have been screened already, will be over her, will know my limits for her use, and will use her accordingly and safely--Oral cum slut is good, as Nobody will cum in my sub/slave's other holes.

Punishments would be variable, considering what works in what situations, what is feasable and what is the best for correction of the sub/slave.  I am a huge fan of canes, single leather straps and at odd times crops or whips.  As stated in the above paragraph, though I may usually drive the sub/slave to numerous orgasms, in punishment this would also be the case, though there would be no release allowed.  I have alot of time for thought in my workday, and alot of time to consider how to take care of things that need addressed.  Sleeping on the floor chained to the bed, humiliated and degraded by my treatment of displeasure, rough treatment and even rougher use but not abuse, confinement, stress positions, and more.  Creative minds are just that, and in combination with a sadistic bent, there's alot of room for interesting times.  Clamps, electric play, impact, stress positions (yes, I said it twice--I like her wide open and available, and stress positions are some of the best for this), various devices for torment both inside and out, stocks and special furniture are just the crust...there is more under the surface, alot more for a confirmed masochist.

Rituals would include both those in the life of the everyday and vanilla world, and those expected sexually. Worldly rituals would include but not be limited to morning breakfast and coffee, drying her master after showers, oral service at night to ready him to for her use, greetings at homecoming and offer of massages before bed, the aforementioned attempts to keep me sexually charged all day, being nude for my pleasure at night, completion of chores and duties and periodic dance for my enjoyment.  Her clothing, diet and schedule will be determined by myself after considering what would be appropriate for her.  Her name will remain hers, but I will rename her myself for her life with me.  She will maintain a journal and actively look for people that I might approve of using her.  A repeated daily ritual that could also fall under the training category would be Kegel exercises performed throughout the day, as well as daily cleansings and hygeine.

Training consists of those activities that I participate in with the sub/slave for her development and those that she will persue/perform herself in her attempt to become how I need her to be.  As a dominant, I want what I want, but as an educated person I am also understanding of reality, simple physics and the tolerances of the human anatomy and spirit.  Training will commence upon entering the home and settling in.  Following this, as stated above, training will include, but not be limited to:    oral, anal, rituals, positions, and service both domestic and sexual.
Oral training wouid involve learning my preferences, how to deepthroat, how to breath so that extended use can be utilized and last but not least, taking my gift in the mouth or throat and being able to drain what is left and clean up afterwards.
Anal training would be for my interest in anal play and dilation.  Training plugs will be worn for this purpose and as the sub/slave has three holes, this one will get 1/3 of her master's attention.  So, myself, fisting, dilation, plugs and toys will be the norm for such use of her, as well as regular (protected) anal service to those I put over her.
As far as oral and anal go, I want her to understand that these two holes to me are to be treated just as fairly as her pussy, so in effect, she will be understood to basically have three vaginas to use as desired.  Concerning her actual vagina, as mentioned in rituals, Kegel exercises will be performed as scheduled, and it is yet to be determined if she will be subject to dilation here as will be done anally, but either way, exercises will be kept up to ensure muscle control and elasticity should I decide to employ dilation.
Positions would be those used by the slave for various rituals and times, but also those used by both a sub or slave when it comes to sex or meeting others, such as mental bondage, or just holding a position that I require.
Service on a domestic level was touched upon before with the outline of some of the rituals and also some of the things she can do to keep me charged throughout the day.  Household duties, shopping, errands, etc., are domestic service areas.
Sexual service areas are those such as being nude at night, being available at all times for use, offering of her complete body, oral service as mentioned in the rituals, enthusiastic pursuit of her training regimine and feedback on it, knowing how to pleasure a group and how to perform for a gangbang, cleaning and maintaining of toys and equipment, seeking out others to use her, offering and asking for her dom to perform activities she knows he enjoys...and a few others I am getting too tired to list.

Again, alot of information, but thought a good explaination would do far better than a half-assed attempt at an answer.  I am thorough because I am honest, and I am honest because I don't want misinterpretations or problems with clarity.  Hope this answered some questions and helps to give a better idea of where I am coming from and what I am working towards.  Thanks again for reading, and as always, I do enjoy the feedback.           

Previously have trained and kept two women off CM, and two off of Alt/AFF in the last ten years.  Two were kept  full term with their contracts, one stayed three years beyond her initial contract due to a desire to stay, and one was released at the end of her term, after which she pursued a different contract elsewhere when we found her the right home.  There were three other short-term relationships in that time as well, but one was a flake, one was a princess who couldn't adjust, and the other was a foul-mouthed, sneaky alcoholic.  So, as you can see, I am more interested in long-term committment to the lifestyle, than psycho wannabes who want to change and alter what they come to live, without trying...or trying half-heartedly.
In college, when info was hitting me from all directions, I tried alot of things in the lifestyle...and looking back at the experiences, it's really amazing to me at times the things I've seen and done since, and where I have come to in my 'quest.'  Never figured myself a sub, but could not deny the almost spiritual attraction to an older Domme I met my junior year.  Spent quite a bit of time with her, and I know the commitment and dedication it takes a sub, let alone a slave, to serve and develop as one's 'owner' demands.
Travelled alot after college, and had a few more experiences with some good people who were mindful enough to educate me in things I hadn't understood or known.  Lived with a switch for awhile when she was in grad school, and that was an experience in itself, to be sure.
Well, I grew...found what made me the happiest, and grew a little more.  Found there wasn't room in my life for submission...it just wasn't me.  Switch was fun, but not satisfying.
Took some time, some study, some talk, until I found me, and I am happy.
Now, more than a decade after I determined which side of the coin fit better, I have come to the conclusion that it was a combination of all of the previous experiences of life, age of couse, and the realization of my real needs that brought me to be who I am today.  I am quiet but not a rock; I say what I mean and do as I say; I am dominant but not an ass; I am firm but also understanding; and at times I am a sadist but not sick.  Yes, I am/have been demanding, but that is a part training.  At times, this is one of the best aspects of domination, but at others, a guy just wants to sit back with a drink and a good movie, kicking up the feet and shooting the bull (hopefully with his mate).
Lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle...the world see what it needs to see (without seeing the reality underneath), and the home is the place where reality is the norm.  Restraint, use and sex is not the end-all be-all, just the icing on the cake.  A lifestyle means just that, and 24/7 PE does not limit itself to the physical.  LOL...let's face it, I am almost 40, not 18, so it's been awhile since I've had the desire to get it on every ten minutes throughout the day.  Lifestyle is self-explanitory, in that it is life itself that is given through submission, and shaped, molded and polished by dominance.
No, I am not old...hardly.  Yes, I am looking to settle down; but as I have said before, I don't want to settle.  Perfection is not at all what I offer, and I know that expectations of perfection would be a foolish way to pursue something anyway.  I am not rich, but working on it, and I am not a saint, but again...I am working on it.  Honesty, commitment, dedication, flexibility, imagination and communication--these are the keys, but sometimes they seem to fade away, and that is usually the death knell of the relationship.  Some things take time, and some things take work...these are the easy things, but they don't fit into a contract in the ways we would want to believe.  There is something more.  I know because I have seen it.  No, it wasn't a unicorn, but probably just as rare.    

A (an incomplete) summary of House expectations the sub/slave will adhere to, including a few of the more important rules and desires of the House; more information will be provided upon request...

--memorization of and obedience to the rules and rituals of the house.
--memorization of desired positions and implimentation as required.
--24/7 commitment to the lifestyle.  This means that the sub/slave will be ready and available for use upon demand, sexually or otherwise, regardless of time, place or mood.  However, it must be understood that while the sub/slave may be used at any time, in any manner...there will be times that service will not be required due to the requirements, responsibilities and duties of the House Master.  At these times, the sub/slave may pursue her own desires (as approved) when and if all prior duties and responsibilities are fulfilled.
--commitment (after getting to know the sub/slave) to a real life Dom/sub-slave relationship where all expectations, duties, positions, and rules are layed out in plain language, in a contract that may be verbally agreed to or signed by both parties.  Anything not listed in the contract that may come up would be discussed and decided upon with consideration given to existing limits and abilities of the sub/slave.
--an understanding and acceptance that the sub/slave will be available for use in any manner, at any time, and will exhibit a willingness to serve as desired.  Enthusiasm to serve shines the Dom's soul, but it is understood that it is hard to be enthusiastic if a sub is about to be used in ways she doesn't care for.  That is why acceptance and willingness make two out of three, not so bad.
--submission to and acceptance of training, punishments, torments, pain, pleasure, torture, group use, exhibition, orgasm control, assignment of duties within the house, and more...
--oral, vaginal and anal use/service as requested and as trained; training regimine will be designed to achieve the House's desired level of ability.
--body modification of the House's determinaition...tongue, nipple, navel, hood and p.lips piercings, as well as agreed upon tattoos, including House mark are all possibilities.
--journal entry every day.
--part time job at least (subject to approval by the House), to pay for insurance, personal needs and savings.  This requirement may change at a later date, depending upon the sub/slave's strengths, abilities and the accelleration of my business.
 
Just a few for now...As far as how I approach the lifestyle:
Most of the time I am busy working and building my business.  My sub/slave will understand this, and will endeavor to keep the home running, clean and stress free.
I am sexual, voyeristic, sadistic, generous, firm, demanding of quality associations and dedicated to separating play time from life.
When not playing, and when the sub/slave is finished with her duties, she may spend time with me pursuing different entertainment, hobbies and other distractions from the real world.
I will be writing more later, and I look forward to hearing from anyone interested in discussing what I wrote.