I was asked if I think it is possible to have a BDSM group be active with real-time socials in Pakistan like it is in the US. I am unsure.

To begin, I am envisioning an online group where people can have conversations, discuss matters of interest, share and seek advice about difficulties, etc. Those who establish a familiarity via the online discussions may choose to connect.

If with time there is enough interest for regional munches (a get together for coffee or dinner), great. When that time comes, I will gladly share ideas that might be helpful.

I will share my experience of how becoming involved in a BDSM community has helped me.

I first became involved with an online newsgroup similar to the google group BDSMinPakistan. To me it was refreshing simply to be able to interact with others who had an interest in BDSM. At that time, sites like CollarMe did not exist. Later, I also began to frequent online chatrooms based on BDSM. I was fortunate that the chatroom I visited was somewhat relaxed and more social than high protocol chatrooms. These experiences made me a bit more comfortable interacting with others in BDSM as I would with others in any other social situation. This step helped me when I finally went to munches and the like, both with respect to gathering the courage to go to a munch, and with respect to being able to converse with others at a munch.

I have gained all types of insights via online discussions: a better understanding of myself (via introspections and the exercise of thinking how to respond to discussions), a better understanding of others, tolerance of others, views of the other sex about what interests them and what frustrates them, and greater insights and understanding about various acitivities that occur in BDSM.

After becoming involved with real-time groups, the same benefits continued to occur. With real-time groups, however, I found a new social outlet, made new friends who share and understand my BDSM interest (it can be refreshing to be in company where you do not have to hide your interest, talk about what you did over the weekend, and make jokes that no one else would understand).

The history of advent of homosexuality in the US carries some interesting lessons for other forms of alternative sexuality. Social acceptance of homosexuality has grown tremendously over each decade. I once asked an older gay man what he thought had contributed to this increase in social acceptance.

He thought that appearance of BDSM in the media was one factor; it allowed those who had an interest in alternative sexuality to realize that there were others like them, and motivated them to seek out others.

As a result of seeking out others and interacting with others, people became more secure in their sexuality. Becoming more secure in their sexuality allowed them to reveal this part of them to close ones. This revelation to close ones shattered negative stereotype images, which helped grow general social acceptance.

I find truth in his words from my experience. Becoming involved with others has helped me become more secure and comfortable in my sexuality with respect to not hiding it from everyone. And a few close friends, and my siblings now know. Because of how they regard me, I think that discovery by them has helped how they view BDSM.

I want to emphasize that I am not encouraging anyone to reveal their interest to others; that matter is a discussion in itself which I will leave for a later time. At this time, I am simply commenting on how becoming involved with an online community and then a real-time community has helped me.